Holding for two months, worsening of symptoms

[[Ze...]]

 

My taper has been on hold for two months, and I have noticed my symptoms worsening. DP/DR, Physical pain and weakness, brain fog and other cognitive, neurological symptoms (burning/muscle twitching) as well as perceptual abnormalities. My coping skills have been improving, but the intensity of the symptoms has also been slowly increasing. Since I was symptomatic before I began my taper, I’m thinking that it’s possible that this is just my baseline, and any further time holding will be fruitless. I’m wanting to begin to start cutting again, as I’m losing hope that this hold will result in me feeling “well” to any degree. I’ve also had a lot of doubts as to whether all of this is truly Benzo related or not, and this obviously raises my anxiety level. I really thought a two month hold would alleviate some of the more intense symptoms, but I’m thinking now I just have to carry on and pray for the best. Just reaching out for support here because it’s very difficult and scary to move forward with a taper when I’m feeling this rough- but I really don’t know how much longer I can wait things out. 
 

[[mi...]]

I am stuck after hitting a wall on a generic pill switch forced on he due to a back order. I’m currently at .172mg K. I will tell you that I have never felt good with a hold the entire time. Sometimes I felt OK but not great and other times I get significantly worse the longer I hold. When I cut, I almost always feel some level of improvement for at least the first week and then I have to allow the second week before I can cut again or else things get rough.  I don’t understand the science behind it, and then I’ll a lot of people on here might disagree with the theory, but cutting makes me feel way better than holding, and I always cut on the small amount. 

[[su...]]

I could never hold during my taper, it just made things worse. I did some really long holds too on the advice of others, never helped.  Often times you can cut and actually feel a bit better. I was also like you, never stable from the beginning. Sometimes you have to just grit your teeth and carry on.  In my case I was totally paradoxical to the drug and having withdrawal at the same time, so holding (for me) was actually the worse thing I could do because it sensitised me further. 

[[Ze...]]

Yeah I had to give it a shot, reading so many stories where holding worked for people got me inspired- but I think this must be the case for individuals that began a taper when they were stable on the drug to begin with. My most severe symptoms began when I mistakenly attempted to come off of Valium much too rapidly (50 percent cut followed by reinstatement), yet even before that I was having WD type symptoms, just not as severe.
 

Honestly I’m so determined to get off of benzos and recover that continuing to hold just feels ethically wrong to me at this point. I feel worse when I take the doses- haven’t felt sober in weeks.

 

I am an audio engineer and have an important job coming up, so I guess I’ll wait to begin cutting again until after that just incase things get worse. But I feel intuitively like my body is begging for less of this stuff. There is such resistance to taking the doses on a bodily level. Once I begin again I’ll plan for a 5 percent reduction of total benzo dose over a month to start, and see how that goes. If I can handle it I’ll try for 7 percent the next month. Praying a reduction will come with the return of some clarity and connection. 

[[Fa...]]

I am in the same camp.

I started off in tolerance and was for years with pretty bad symptoms that were passed off as something else.  So, when I entered tapering, I was in a deficit position already.  My 'baseline' was pretty bad...and, it only got worse with a taper that was too quick off the hop and other complications along the way.

I think that holds work wonders for some, but we are all different.  I have tried to hold twice, and there was no improvement.  For me, the injury had already occurred.  It then becomes about how to taper while your baseline is pretty crappy, losing the term loosely.

I am happy for those holding helps because we just want things to go smoother and with less suffering.  Then, there is the other 'camp' that it doesn't help, so we do our very best to keep going.

 

[[PE...]]

1 hour ago, [[Z...] said:

My taper has been on hold for two months, and I have noticed my symptoms worsening. DP/DR, Physical pain and weakness, brain fog and other cognitive, neurological symptoms (burning/muscle twitching) as well as perceptual abnormalities. My coping skills have been improving, but the intensity of the symptoms has also been slowly increasing. Since I was symptomatic before I began my taper, I’m thinking that it’s possible that this is just my baseline, and any further time holding will be fruitless. I’m wanting to begin to start cutting again, as I’m losing hope that this hold will result in me feeling “well” to any degree. I’ve also had a lot of doubts as to whether all of this is truly Benzo related or not, and this obviously raises my anxiety level. I really thought a two month hold would alleviate some of the more intense symptoms, but I’m thinking now I just have to carry on and pray for the best. Just reaching out for support here because it’s very difficult and scary to move forward with a taper when I’m feeling this rough- but I really don’t know how much longer I can wait things out. 
 

Sounds like tolerance wd.. I had it since december. It will pass

 

[[PE...]]

You don't say if you are in long lasting or short. I had good results with taking a break for two days and then start again. But it works for me. Mabey not for you. Also work your body... powerwalks or gym. It really work 

[[mi...]]

Even when i was on accord K (before the switch to Teva which has destabilized me), I had to keep cutting to feel good. I felt very stable on Accord, and I told my doctor that i feel like i am basically coming off the drug slow enough to not crash, but fast enough to stay ahead of the horrible toxicity i feel from it. It's like I am one or two steps ahead of a bear, running just fast enough to not get bitten. If I move faster I trip and fall, if I move slower the bear catches me. I honestly felt that way and had accepted it. With the switch to Teva, this version feels stronger, way stronger, and i can't get the relief I need. I do get relief cutting, but not nearly what I got from Accord. Perhaps I need to just make up some ground and then I'll start feeling more stable on Teva. Who knows.