Setback @ 45 months

[[mi...]]

I finished my taper on Oct. 1st, 2019. I've never gotten back to what I would consider 100% (although I've had periods where I feel 75%+ healed) but in hindsight I'm realizing that is partially my fault. The reason being that I have been mostly ignoring the underlying trauma and resulting nervous system issues that lead me to benzos in the first place.

For whatever reason I haven't been punished too severely for my lifestyle these past few years. This includes regularly eating junk food, going to bed late, letting stress build at work, occasionally drinking alcohol/caffeine, and not exercising much. However, a few weeks ago I had a particularly rough stretch where I pushed things too far and now I am facing the consequences. For the past week I have felt what I would describe as ~50% of acute symptoms. Dp/dr, brain fog, insomnia, tinnitus, blood sugar issues, etc. The sleep issues are the worst part considering I haven't had any problems in that area in a few years and now I'm getting 3-5 hours per night at best.

The logical part of my brain knows this will pass. But the emotional part of me is terrified. What if this goes on for months or longer? I am in a place where I am able to keep working but I am worried that I won't be able to keep social commitments with the way I'm feeling. I'm just curious if this sort of thing has happened to anyone else so far out and what advice you might have. This has been a big wakeup call for me and I realize now that I need to work hard to change my lifestyle moving forward.

[[ho...]]

I was about at your time frame in January of 2022  when I had my stress  setback that gave me new and worse symptoms and opened a new portal of hell. All I can say is just ride it out. If you can work, consider yourself very lucky. Perhaps just explain to others that you are taking some time for yourself to heal so you can be better then ever living life as far as social commitments. I hope this is short lived for you. 
I definitely wouldn’t do the alcohol thing for at least 2 years of feeling fully healed. 
You’ll get past this and learned what and what not to do until you’re way more healed. Radical acceptance seems to be key. 
Take care!

[[...]]

The song ‘Take It Easy’ just popped into my head as I was reading this milliways.  It will pass as you know.  Stay strong and stay away from the triggers like alcohol!

[[Hu...]]

I know many around here are naturally very hesitant to trust psych meds, but have you considered SSRI's or other meds that could help you get that last bit of the way?

[[mi...]]

For posterity...my sleep issues have almost returned to normal. So the worst of the wave lasted a little over a week. I'm sure it will take a few more weeks to fully get back to where I was. I appreciate the support from everyone.