18 days benzo free and HURTING

[[Ma...]]

Lu, you are so very right man.. I know the conversation is coming. I am very proud of her. I guess I am just scared of drifting apart with us only really having "us time" on the weekends, and not seeing eachother really at all during the week.  I need to let her know all of this.  This very well could have been the trigger last night. So maybe talking it out will help alleviate that.

[[...]]

Mark, great that you're sharing your worries here.

 

Just please try to tell yourself that withdrawal is kind of like the weather -- unpredictable, and can influence our lives only to the extent that we allow. I find that the anxiety of w/d affects my thinking. So I have to keep telling myself that my worried thinking is withdrawal and not what I'd be thinking normally. It's just good practice to distinguish good thinking from "stinkin' thinkin'."

 

You're getting closer each day to blue skies. You'll have so much anti-anxiety muscle that very likely the anxiety you used to have will be non-existent.

 

I had a fair amount of anxiety again today. I don't have it at night but rather the first half of the day. Hate it as much as everyone else, but what can we do but learn to live with it? You did great conversing in the store despite what your mind was doing.

[[Ma...]]

yram you are sooo right.  That is a good way to think of it. When I am in the throws of it I find myself thinking so irrational though. Once things calm down everything becomes clear again...

 

It started again a little bit ago, but this time I did my breathing exercises and diverted my focus onto something else, and within 20 mins it had passed...  I am feeling pretty normal again

 

Tonight, I did finally decide to toss out my remaining Klonopin. I had more stashed away in the cabinet than I thought.  I used to stash away all my extras from the previous bottle when I got a refill. my Reasoning at the time was to have some extras incase my Doc ever cut me off, I had a small supply to fall back on and rapid taper off with.  It FELT SOOO GOOD to get rid of those.  I Flushed them..we have a septic tank here, so the flushed meds do not go into the water supply lol

 

 

[[ok...]]

Mark,

 

Good thinking to get rid of your stash.  The last thing you want to do is start this all over again.  '

 

I can clearly tell you that the breathing difficulty is definitely anxiety.  This is the symptom that would always let me know that i was about to have an anxiety attack.  The good thing is your body is getting enough air.  It can still be very uncomfortable.  I think you hit the nail on the head about finding something to distract your mind.  I always play my piano or guitar and that focuses my mind on something else and before you know it it has passed.

 

I have also learned that it is always goes away so that helps me get through it.  Let's just consider that last couple days a parting gift from the ghost of your Klonopin.  Now that you have destroyed it, the ghost now only dwells in the septic tank.  Just be sure to keep your toilet lid down.

 

Keep the faith, you have come so far.

 

Warmest regards,

 

Kelly