The Long Hold Support Group

[[De...]]

Hahaaa! I cant see the screen with mine they take away my close up vision. So it's a pain. I think these benzos mess up your eyes. Let's stick with glasses, not worth the pain! Omg! I'm sure your not scary. I'm scary lately with the makeup, it irritates my eyes and gets all over my face.  :tickedoff: sick of being sick!! 

[[va...]]

Hahaaa! I cant see the screen with mine they take away my close up vision. So it's a pain. I think these benzos mess up your eyes. Let's stick with glasses, not worth the pain! Omg! I'm sure your not scary. I'm scary lately with the makeup, it irritates my eyes and gets all over my face.  :tickedoff: sick of being sick!! 

 

Oh DD I'm so sorry for that, I just love makeup. I'm sure if you lived here we'd try many until we found one that you can wear and feel comfortable.  . I'm off to do stuff. Take care.

[[De...]]

Ok, talk soon!!

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Well yesterday I had a major eye event.  I'm ok now. I haven't had time for the blood yet. It light on and off. I put my contacts in yesterday went to the back dr. She was nice. I dont have sciatica.  My eyes were burning so bad and nose running, I thought I had the virus. So all I know is I have muscle tension and doing pt and walking more. So I got home,no idea how. I couldnt openly eyes. Omg. Jim came home we went to the hospital. I couldnt openm6 eyes at all the pain..ahhhhh. jim lemme around blindfolded. We werbickering.The dr, was very nice. He che led my eyes and said it was corneal abrasions. Idk,. Thenumbing drops worked for like 5 min. Jim saying they are working. Ugh. So irrigated my eyes , my eyeballs glem now. Antibiotic and he dilated my eyes for less cramping. Not supposed to be 9n comp. Feeling ok now. Wft!

 

DD I'm so sorry you're going through all this!  :'( I hope you get much better now without the contact lenses. I know you're probably not able to read this but if you do, I pray for you and that you get better soon. I'm glad at least you have Jim to take you to the hospital (and bicker with you there, can't that guy ever shut up?). But anyway, at least he takes you.

 

My life recently sucks quite grandiosely, however there are a couple few beautiful things in it so there's still hope. I won't mention the beautiful things in it because it kind of brings bad luck.

 

I hope you're all managing against this benzo storm, financial storm  :'( :'( :'(, coronavirus fear storm and all your personal lives' storms.

 

Mary I bought the cheap cans of chilly meat, I hope we don't die of that  . I didn't read your post yesterday so I did kiss my daughter's friend's mother in the cheeks, plus she said it was her birthday so then I hugged her too. However, I haven't gone to lunch with my sadistic father because he started yelling at me on the phone already so I just thought if I went I'd have a car accident, he sends me into panic attacks and I'm no longer risking my life for this person's whims. So I cancelled and took my daughter out for lunch and went for a walk in the forest. Much better than the initial plan. I live in constant derealization but I don't think it's only the benzo: it's the stress: money, no support, this man always verbally attacking me, the virus, fear of bwd... I'll try not to think. If I think I go down the rabbit hole.

 

I hope you and Tim have enough stock for a couple months or more. Are we stocking up on water too? I haven't yet, but maybe tap water would also run out? I think I'm going to buy water just in case. That'll take up all of my appartment it's going to be really cramped in here but who cares.

 

Stutt if you come in tomorrow please know that over there everything will be fine because nobody would want to live in that terrible weather including this virus. I hope your symptoms are giving you a break, for God's sake what an evil drug. It takes a lifetime to come off.

 

Vali, lol, did you at least wash your face and hands, mercy woman.  Glad you stood your dad up, definitely need one less a$$ in your live and that you had a happy time with your daughter.  You're a wonderful mother, except for kissing cheeks you shouldn't  , but we all think the world of you.

We always keep a couple cases of water just incase of "anything ".  Not usually extra chili though 

LY, Mary 💜💜💜

[[Ma...]]

Hahaaa! I cant see the screen with mine they take away my close up vision. So it's a pain. I think these benzos mess up your eyes. Let's stick with glasses, not worth the pain! Omg! I'm sure your not scary. I'm scary lately with the makeup, it irritates my eyes and gets all over my face.  :tickedoff: sick of being sick!! 

 

Hey you, I don't wear eye makeup right now and keep my foundation lower under my eyes than normal.  Nobody can really tell if you wear your 👓 glasses  . I'm glad they aren't hurting and all this has been so hard on you.  We missed you and worried about you.  Definitely rest those eyes, just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.  LY DD, MM 💜💜💜💜💜

[[Ma...]]

Hey twin! I posted you and I don't see it :tickedoff:

Anyway, I hope all is well with you. I'm staying put taper wise until I feel comfortable to make a move. I'm having some pots/ dysautonomia symtoms as well. If I wait until the end of March that'll make a good 3 month hold. So I'll make a plan then as to what to do. For now I'm just trying to stay calm, worried some about Rich, your brother in law, will get his results Monday from CT scan.

I've got a massive headache as well today that Advil isn't even touching, I think it's stress causing it..ah well what can ya do right? 🤷

 

Love you!

LST ❤️

 

Sorry your have a bad headache Trishy.  When it ends, really try to worry less ok, I know it's hard.

Isn't today therapist day?    Feel better soon and let us know how it goes with the therapist.

LY, Too Many, Mary 🙏☮️💜🙏☮️💜🙏

[[Tr...]]

Hey twin! I posted you and I don't see it :tickedoff:

Anyway, I hope all is well with you. I'm staying put taper wise until I feel comfortable to make a move. I'm having some pots/ dysautonomia symtoms as well. If I wait until the end of March that'll make a good 3 month hold. So I'll make a plan then as to what to do. For now I'm just trying to stay calm, worried some about Rich, your brother in law, will get his results Monday from CT scan.

I've got a massive headache as well today that Advil isn't even touching, I think it's stress causing it..ah well what can ya do right? 🤷

 

Love you!

LST ❤️

 

Sorry your have a bad headache Trishy.  When it ends, really try to worry less ok, I know it's hard.

Isn't today therapist day?    Feel better soon and let us know how it goes with the therapist.

LY, Too Many, Mary 🙏☮️💜🙏☮️💜🙏

Thanks Mary, headache is better but it's still vaguely lingering. I'm sorry did I say therapist was today? It was tomorrow but I cancelled bc she's in a medical Drs office and I'm trying to avoid those accept for Rich's appt on Monday. I requested that she call me though. So I'll speak with her by phone. Trying hard not to worry but that's very difficult to say the least. Anxiety is hard to keep under control for an anxious person like me 🤦‍♀️

Love ya,

TT ❤️

[[va...]]

Mary thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot. I will try to kiss less but everyone kisses here and then our government, which is utterly useless in every possible way, isn't giving our any warning whatsoever so most people go on with the idea that this is going to be no worse than a cold. I was like that till this student came yesterday and gave me a different version of the story. I'm thinking of not going to bars and restaurants. I mean what's the point of not touching others if you're going to bars and restaurants which are full of surfaces that hundreds of people touch every day? 

[[De...]]

Thanks mm,

I'm not going to bother with makeup for now. I'll just hide my 3yes under glasses  It just falls in your eyes! Thank you for thinking of me. I hope your cut is going well. Ly dd ❤❤❤🤗😎

[[Fi...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning lady Mary Hen how is the taper going? Keep your % low honey.Happy birthday to my soon to be bro in law 🎉. Did he have a good one?l hope so he is a gem.l am in at the friends house we are going in to have a face to face with my internet provider.I really want to get some idea of what is going on l realise this is a massive job however this is getting ridiculous.l am much the same this end all getting on ok.My daughter as per will be home this weekend.The pups and Sox's are ok and sis and Auntie doing well.l am ok just same old crap.l hope to be back soon but l won't hold my breath 😵.Have to say on the plus side without the internet l am being far more productive 😏. Love you my lady Mary HenX.

Morning Trish 🤔 are you sure you are thinking of me l don't do there there and stroking hair etc l am more you'll be grand suck it up and get on with it 😳.Try not to feed the fears honey this time next year we will still be here moaning about withdrawal 😕.As for control twiny let it go l have control over my bladder and that is it.Even that is hit and miss in withdrawal 😉. love you my lST X

Morning Suzy l am sorry your eyes are bothering you.Please stop wearing the contacts it will definitely help.l am wondering about your period what age are you honey?Are you peri menopausal?l have to say generally if you haven't had a period for a year that is you in menopause that's why I am wondering.There are other reasons we don't have periods eg being underweight, stress etc.l am just trying to gauge what is going on with you.love you.X

Morning Janice honestly do you ever have a time you are not worrying?l really wish this would ease off.l am delighted you have found a good understanding doctor.That really is half the battle.You should come and live here we don't do physical contact 😃.l think if l went to hug or cheek kiss someone they would punch me 😉. love you.X

Morning Troch l am glad you had your stomach checked however you have been through so many investigations l can imagine you are exhausted.l really hope you can find a way to accept this is withdrawal.l hope the EMDR helps with the anxiety.Let us know how it goes.love you.X

Morning Olive our resident jet setter 😘.How much did we win? You are doing amazingly well honey.How is your boyfriend doing?l hope you continue to improve my lovely.love you.X

Morning Final woohoo 🎊🎉 you have really come on from the first time you posted here.l know you are not good however you really are starting to move forward.l am so proud of you honey.l really hope you continue to improve as you get lower it does happen for some.Keep on fighting.love you.X

Morning Intend Gilly Valley Bill NJ Nova Miyu Meems GP NJ and everyone here sending you my love.Thinking of you all.X

 

Thank you Stut.  I have moved forward and yes, I'm not good but will keep going. 

 

I hope your holding is not so miserable. 

 

 

[[Ol...]]

Hi Stut,

Thanks for the greeting! I love that you call me a jet setter.. if only! But comparatively, yes. I have been having a few very mellow days after my big jaunt in Vegas. I hope your internet gets fixed in a jiffy because we sure miss you around here.

 

Much love to everyone here.

 

[[De...]]

That's great fh! 

[[Ma...]]

Morning LHSG!

 

Hope everyone is better today than yesterday.  Thinking of you all, LY, Mary 💜🙏☮️💜🙏☮️💜

[[Me...]]

Hi all!!!  Miss you guys. I’m ok just was checked out the last few days.  I’m feeling “in the middle” or neutral I should say.  Not bad, not great, just neutral.  I guess maybe a “neutral” window, idk.  I am having a lot of fear.  Mostly financial.  So in a nutshell:

I’m holding at 4.74/4.75 (my scale bounces but I haven’t gone lower than 4.74).  It’s been about three weeks I have been holding.  Not planning on a cut.

 

Voted early on Sunday here in California.  When I took my mom to the cardiologist on Super Tuesday she asked me who I voted for and I told her and surprisingly we didn’t have a fight. 

 

Maggie’s probably going to have dental surgery Monday.  Ugh!  Poor baby.  I’m giving her antibiotics and daily fluids.  She hates the antibiotics.  So a vet tech friend of mine came over last night and gave her the meds as Maggie won’t let me open her mouth to squirt the liquid.  Ugh, cats 🐱

 

Taxes are freaking me out.  I’ve been on disability from the PTSD but STD ran out and that was tax free.  So when I went to LTD which I no longer have, they dropped me, that is what I have to file taxes on. 

 

Mom is doing alright with her heart and dialysis just still a major stress factor in my life.  I told the cardiologist she’s been coughing lately and he immediately looked at me with wide eyes.  He checked her lungs and said things sounded ok.  She thinks it’s all a hoax. 

 

Freaked out about my stock market money.  It is what it is. 

 

Mary - did you cut?  How are you doing? 

 

I’m sorry I haven’t caught up on everyone. 

 

Love youuuuuuu all!  Mwah 😘

Meems

 

Anyways...  taking care of myself.  We had the first death in CA from coronavirus.  Gov Newsom called a state of emergency in the state. 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hi all!!!  Miss you guys. I’m ok just was checked out the last few days.  I’m feeling “in the middle” or neutral I should say.  Not bad, not great, just neutral.  I guess maybe a “neutral” window, idk.  I am having a lot of fear.  Mostly financial.  So in a nutshell:

I’m holding at 4.74/4.75 (my scale bounces but I haven’t gone lower than 4.74).  It’s been about three weeks I have been holding.  Not planning on a cut.

 

Voted early on Sunday here in California.  When I took my mom to the cardiologist on Super Tuesday she asked me who I voted for and I told her and surprisingly we didn’t have a fight. 

 

Maggie’s probably going to have dental surgery Monday.  Ugh!  Poor baby.  I’m giving her antibiotics and daily fluids.  She hates the antibiotics.  So a vet tech friend of mine came over last night and gave her the meds as Maggie won’t let me open her mouth to squirt the liquid.  Ugh, cats 🐱

 

Taxes are freaking me out.  I’ve been on disability from the PTSD but STD ran out and that was tax free.  So when I went to LTD which I no longer have, they dropped me, that is what I have to file taxes on. 

 

Mom is doing alright with her heart and dialysis just still a major stress factor in my life.  I told the cardiologist she’s been coughing lately and he immediately looked at me with wide eyes.  He checked her lungs and said things sounded ok.  She thinks it’s all a hoax. 

 

Freaked out about my stock market money.  It is what it is. 

 

Mary - did you cut?  How are you doing? 

 

I’m sorry I haven’t caught up on everyone. 

 

Love youuuuuuu all!  Mwah 😘

Meems

 

Anyways...  taking care of myself.  We had the first death in CA from coronavirus.  Gov Newsom called a state of emergency in the state.

 

Hey Meems!!  Glad to hear from you girlfriend.  In the middle is a good place to be.  I hate you have so many other life issues on you, really glad you and your mom didn't fight and the Dr didn't think the cough was anything.  Yes, more and more states are calling for a state of emergency.  We had a guy with the virus, somehow get loose and went to our nicest mall here in San Antonio and they have no idea how many he came in contact with.  They closed the mall for 2 days and cleaned it.  It's huge, I can't imagine how they cleaned it.

Day 5 of my 15 day, 5% dlmt, then holding until symptoms say I can go again.  Doing fine right now, knock wood for me.  LY, take good care of yourself, Mary 💜🙏☮️💜🙏☮️💜

 

Oh, pet Maggie for me and definitely let us know how her surgery goes.  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Hey Intend, I see you are reading.  I hope you, Dan and Pepper are okay.  I am sure you are following all the rules for the CV.  Please take care of yourself.  LY, Mary 🐈🐾🐾🚂🚂🚂🌹🌹🌹

[[Ma...]]

Hey DD, how is that eye?  Hope it's healing and you are doing okay.  LY , MM  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Vali, are you and your daughter doing okay.  They are closing some schools and businesses over here.

You take good care of yourself and your daughter.  Stop that damn kissing unless it's a good looking man  :D.  LY, Mary 💜💜

[[Me...]]

Hi all!!!  Miss you guys. I’m ok just was checked out the last few days.  I’m feeling “in the middle” or neutral I should say.  Not bad, not great, just neutral.  I guess maybe a “neutral” window, idk.  I am having a lot of fear.  Mostly financial.  So in a nutshell:

I’m holding at 4.74/4.75 (my scale bounces but I haven’t gone lower than 4.74).  It’s been about three weeks I have been holding.  Not planning on a cut.

 

Voted early on Sunday here in California.  When I took my mom to the cardiologist on Super Tuesday she asked me who I voted for and I told her and surprisingly we didn’t have a fight. 

 

Maggie’s probably going to have dental surgery Monday.  Ugh!  Poor baby.  I’m giving her antibiotics and daily fluids.  She hates the antibiotics.  So a vet tech friend of mine came over last night and gave her the meds as Maggie won’t let me open her mouth to squirt the liquid.  Ugh, cats 🐱

 

Taxes are freaking me out.  I’ve been on disability from the PTSD but STD ran out and that was tax free.  So when I went to LTD which I no longer have, they dropped me, that is what I have to file taxes on. 

 

Mom is doing alright with her heart and dialysis just still a major stress factor in my life.  I told the cardiologist she’s been coughing lately and he immediately looked at me with wide eyes.  He checked her lungs and said things sounded ok.  She thinks it’s all a hoax. 

 

Freaked out about my stock market money.  It is what it is. 

 

Mary - did you cut?  How are you doing? 

 

I’m sorry I haven’t caught up on everyone. 

 

Love youuuuuuu all!  Mwah 😘

Meems

 

Anyways...  taking care of myself.  We had the first death in CA from coronavirus.  Gov Newsom called a state of emergency in the state.

 

Hey Meems!!  Glad to hear from you girlfriend.  In the middle is a good place to be.  I hate you have so many other life issues on you, really glad you and your mom didn't fight and the Dr didn't think the cough was anything.  Yes, more and more states are calling for a state of emergency.  We had a guy with the virus, somehow get loose and went to our nicest mall here in San Antonio and they have no idea how many he came in contact with.  They closed the mall for 2 days and cleaned it.  It's huge, I can't imagine how they cleaned it.

Day 5 of my 15 day, 5% dlmt, then holding until symptoms say I can go again.  Doing fine right now, knock wood for me.  LY, take good care of yourself, Mary 💜🙏☮️💜🙏☮️💜

 

Oh, pet Maggie for me and definitely let us know how her surgery goes.  :smitten:

 

I sure will give her pets and kisses.  That’s crazy about the San Antonio mall.  Whoa.  I am so glad to hear you are doing good on your dlmt.  We’re all going to get through this.  I’m sending you good healing vibes of light, healing and love.

 

I hate when I’m not up to date on all ya guys.  ❤️

[[Ma...]]

Hi Stut,

Thanks for the greeting! I love that you call me a jet setter.. if only! But comparatively, yes. I have been having a few very mellow days after my big jaunt in Vegas. I hope your internet gets fixed in a jiffy because we sure miss you around here.

 

Much love to everyone here.

 

Love to you too OK..you are our official "jet setter " .  We live our virtual lives through you! 

[[Me...]]

Hi Stut,

Thanks for the greeting! I love that you call me a jet setter.. if only! But comparatively, yes. I have been having a few very mellow days after my big jaunt in Vegas. I hope your internet gets fixed in a jiffy because we sure miss you around here.

 

Much love to everyone here.

 

Love to you too OK..you are our official "jet setter " .  We live our virtual lives through you! 

 

Olive Kitty - I think it’s so awesome 😎 you went to Vegas 🏨 All the people, lights and energy would send me Over the edge.  As Mary said, we are living our virtual lives through you. 😁. You deserve every ounce of freedom you have!  What a gift! 

[[De...]]

Hi mm, My eyes feel good. I dont dare put in my contacts. This has be4n a gell of a week. I go to the dr tomorrow about the bleeding. This is ridiculous. How can I ge such a mess. I hope I'm not dying. The back dr said I dont have sciatica. It has to be the benzo.  My legs, pins and needles and low back. Went out with my mother. I tried. ot to talk about it. She still cant believe a benzo could do this. We argued I broke down in tears. She did too. It was weird. She never cries. Then she says it was a good lunch.  ly sleepy suzy

[[Tr...]]

Hi mm, My eyes feel good. I dont dare put in my contacts. This has be4n a gell of a week. I go to the dr tomorrow about the bleeding. This is ridiculous. How can I ge such a mess. I hope I'm not dying. The back dr said I dont have sciatica. It has to be the benzo.  My legs, pins and needles and low back. Went out with my mother. I tried. ot to talk about it. She still cant believe a benzo could do this. We argued I broke down in tears. She did too. It was weird. She never cries. Then she says it was a good lunch.  ly sleepy suzy

Glad your going to Dr about the bleeding, it's probably just hormonal stuff but always best to get checked out.  :smitten:

[[Ma...]]

Hi mm, My eyes feel good. I dont dare put in my contacts. This has be4n a gell of a week. I go to the dr tomorrow about the bleeding. This is ridiculous. How can I ge such a mess. I hope I'm not dying. The back dr said I dont have sciatica. It has to be the benzo.  My legs, pins and needles and low back. Went out with my mother. I tried. ot to talk about it. She still cant believe a benzo could do this. We argued I broke down in tears. She did too. It was weird. She never cries. Then she says it was a good lunch.  ly sleepy suzy

 

She loves you and she is afraid, but that just about broke my heart.  I hope it brings you guys closer.

My left eye feels like the size of a beach ball  LY2 

[[De...]]

I know mm, it made me sad too. I was like, I am happy, she said no your not, I said I am. She always blames herself . I  tell her not too. Igh. My eye felt like that after the irrigation. I felt like a gargoyle!  :laugh: how is the cut. Do you feel different. I hope its smooth. No sx uptick.