The Long Hold Support Group

[[He...]]

Thanks MiYu,

Hope you feel better too!

Heath

[[ga...]]

Anybody good at rescuing someone in a bad situation, and particularly with math, would you look at my post on the MT thread? I think my days of being able to hold are about to end, and very abruptly.

 

Thanks!

 

Gard

[[Va...]]

Anybody good at rescuing someone in a bad situation, and particularly with math, would you look at my post on the MT thread? I think my days of being able to hold are about to end, and very abruptly.

 

Thanks!

 

Gard

I'll look gard but I don't know if I'd trust my math.  OK. I just read it and am unclear on what your dose is. I also think you could get away without pitching any of your dose. I don't waste any of mine. I dissolve the pills and split between dry pills and liquid to cut.  I just take a portion of of dry and the cut amount wet and don't have to waste any dissolved pills that way. I think you could get away doing the same.  If I know your dose and how much you want to cut, I can figure it out for you.  --V

[[ga...]]

Anybody good at rescuing someone in a bad situation, and particularly with math, would you look at my post on the MT thread? I think my days of being able to hold are about to end, and very abruptly.

 

Thanks!

 

Gard

I'll look gard but I don't know if I'd trust my math.  OK. I just read it and am unclear on what your dose is. I also think you could get away without pitching any of your dose. I don't waste any of mine. I dissolve the pills and split between dry pills and liquid to cut.  I just take a portion of of dry and the cut amount wet and don't have to waste any dissolved pills that way. I think you could get away doing the same.  If I know your dose and how much you want to cut, I can figure it out for you.  --V

 

V, I totally don't understand what you're saying. But I have had a terrible, horrible past few days that I don't even want to get into. My brain is jittery jumpy all over the place.

 

I take Librium. It only comes in capsules. The smallest is 5mg. That's my size capsule.

 

I take 2 capsules 3 times/day. When I reduce, I dissolve one capsule from each dose, pull and pitch and drink the rest. So I waste 3 capsules/day doing this.

 

Librium does not stay stable as a liquid very long. I found a scientific article I don't understand but it seems to be saying that storing it as a liquid is not good. No pharmacy will compound it into a liquid for me, saying it would not be stable.

 

When I reduced in the past, I set out 3 little jars, dissolved one capsule in each, pulled and pitched, then took the dose within 24 hours. Each dose was 2 capsules and one jar of liquid. Now it would be each dose would be one capsule and one jar of liquid. But you see how that uses up the capsules very quickly.

 

I was not worried about wasting capsules because my primary was happy to prescribe and keep me on benzos indefinitely. Now there is a psychiatrist available (the practice had none since February) and my primary wants to pass me off to to the new psychiatrist. I give it about 0.5% chance that the new psychiatrist is going to be as flexible and open-minded as the one I had before, who gave the instructions to my primary about tapering me. The taper has been brutal and my primary is chickening out, basically, and wants to pass me off to somebody else who is "more qualified." Good grief. Most psychiatrists are not qualified at all when it comes to benzo tapering. He is likely to rapid taper me. I'm scared and trying to preserve as many capsules as possible.

 

I hope that made some sense. 

[[Va...]]

Anybody good at rescuing someone in a bad situation, and particularly with math, would you look at my post on the MT thread? I think my days of being able to hold are about to end, and very abruptly.

 

Thanks!

 

Gard

I'll look gard but I don't know if I'd trust my math.  OK. I just read it and am unclear on what your dose is. I also think you could get away without pitching any of your dose. I don't waste any of mine. I dissolve the pills and split between dry pills and liquid to cut.  I just take a portion of of dry and the cut amount wet and don't have to waste any dissolved pills that way. I think you could get away doing the same.  If I know your dose and how much you want to cut, I can figure it out for you.  --V

 

V, I totally don't understand what you're saying. But I have had a terrible, horrible past few days that I don't even want to get into. My brain is jittery jumpy all over the place.

 

I take Librium. It only comes in capsules. The smallest is 5mg. That's my size capsule.

 

I take 2 capsules 3 times/day. When I reduce, I dissolve one capsule from each dose, pull and pitch and drink the rest. So I waste 3 capsules/day doing this.

 

Librium does not stay stable as a liquid very long. I found a scientific article I don't understand but it seems to be saying that storing it as a liquid is not good. No pharmacy will compound it into a liquid for me, saying it would not be stable.

 

When I reduced in the past, I set out 3 little jars, dissolved one capsule in each, pulled and pitched, then took the dose within 24 hours. Each dose was 2 capsules and one jar of liquid. Now it would be each dose would be one capsule and one jar of liquid. But you see how that uses up the capsules very quickly.

 

I was not worried about wasting capsules because my primary was happy to prescribe and keep me on benzos indefinitely. Now there is a psychiatrist available (the practice had none since February) and my primary wants to pass me off to to the new psychiatrist. I give it about 0.5% chance that the new psychiatrist is going to be as flexible and open-minded as the one I had before, who gave the instructions to my primary about tapering me. The taper has been brutal and my primary is chickening out, basically, and wants to pass me off to somebody else who is "more qualified." Good grief. Most psychiatrists are not qualified at all when it comes to benzo tapering. She is likely to rapid taper me. I'm scared and trying to preserve as many capsules as possible.

 

I hope that made some sense. 

This is tough gard. The math would be easy but you're still going to be wasting a lot of the L if you have to pitch part of the dose. I did study up on it and you're right it isn't that stable in water. Rapid tapering is probably not a good idea. I'd try to reason with your new doctor and see what happens. Have your previous doctor talk to her if possible. There has to be a way for you to control the rate of the taper. I wonder why Librium was chosen.  My doctor said he only uses it for very short term alcohol abuse. Anyway, I'm still not clear on how many mg your dose is each day.  --V

[[an...]]

The problem with L in water is hydrolysis.  Gardner, the paper states the studies were done at physiological temperature.  They state that hydrolysis did not occur at 32 degrees F (freezing).  They also state that the concentration will degrade by 1/2 in about 8.8 days at physiological temperatures.  I think keeping the doses in the fridge would certainly slow down any hydrolysis.  Actually, if you could make up several doses ahead of time, you could freeze them. You would need some small jars or even larger ice cube trays depending on the volume of each dose. It would be more work, but at least you would not have to waste so much drug.

 

What do you think?

 

Anne

[[ga...]]

The problem with L in water is hydrolysis.  Gardner, the paper states the studies were done at physiological temperature.  They state that hydrolysis did not occur at 32 degrees F (freezing).  They also state that the concentration will degrade by 1/2 in about 8.8 days at physiological temperatures.  I think keeping the doses in the fridge would certainly slow down any hydrolysis.  Actually, if you could make up several doses ahead of time, you could freeze them. You would need some small jars or even larger ice cube trays depending on the volume of each dose. It would be more work, but at least you would not have to waste so much drug.

 

What do you think?

 

Anne

 

OK, I'm trying to get my jumpy brain around this. Hydrolysis is bad. It means the drug is breaking down into a metabolite, right?

Ouch, degrading by 50% in a week is very bad.

 

I have some leftover amber glass jars that vitamins came in. I just counted 8. I was diluting my L with 100ml water. It fits in the jars I have. If I can dig up a few more jars I would only have to do the dissolving and measuring out once/week. That's what I used to do with my liquid Xanax. I would dilute and measure out a whole week's worth of medicine at once and be done with it.

 

So I would get a big jar, like a canning jar, dissolve a bunch of capsules, dilute with a lot of water and then draw up doses and put them in the jars and put the jars in the freezer. I would keep a day's worth in the refrigerator so I could drink it. Then I would not be pitching out medicine. I would be saving almost all of it and wasting very little. Is that right?

 

Gard

[[ga...]]

Anybody good at rescuing someone in a bad situation, and particularly with math, would you look at my post on the MT thread? I think my days of being able to hold are about to end, and very abruptly.

 

Thanks!

 

Gard

I'll look gard but I don't know if I'd trust my math.  OK. I just read it and am unclear on what your dose is. I also think you could get away without pitching any of your dose. I don't waste any of mine. I dissolve the pills and split between dry pills and liquid to cut.  I just take a portion of of dry and the cut amount wet and don't have to waste any dissolved pills that way. I think you could get away doing the same.  If I know your dose and how much you want to cut, I can figure it out for you.  --V

 

V, I totally don't understand what you're saying. But I have had a terrible, horrible past few days that I don't even want to get into. My brain is jittery jumpy all over the place.

 

I take Librium. It only comes in capsules. The smallest is 5mg. That's my size capsule.

 

I take 2 capsules 3 times/day. When I reduce, I dissolve one capsule from each dose, pull and pitch and drink the rest. So I waste 3 capsules/day doing this.

 

Librium does not stay stable as a liquid very long. I found a scientific article I don't understand but it seems to be saying that storing it as a liquid is not good. No pharmacy will compound it into a liquid for me, saying it would not be stable.

 

When I reduced in the past, I set out 3 little jars, dissolved one capsule in each, pulled and pitched, then took the dose within 24 hours. Each dose was 2 capsules and one jar of liquid. Now it would be each dose would be one capsule and one jar of liquid. But you see how that uses up the capsules very quickly.

 

I was not worried about wasting capsules because my primary was happy to prescribe and keep me on benzos indefinitely. Now there is a psychiatrist available (the practice had none since February) and my primary wants to pass me off to to the new psychiatrist. I give it about 0.5% chance that the new psychiatrist is going to be as flexible and open-minded as the one I had before, who gave the instructions to my primary about tapering me. The taper has been brutal and my primary is chickening out, basically, and wants to pass me off to somebody else who is "more qualified." Good grief. Most psychiatrists are not qualified at all when it comes to benzo tapering. She is likely to rapid taper me. I'm scared and trying to preserve as many capsules as possible.

 

I hope that made some sense. 

This is tough gard. The math would be easy but you're still going to be wasting a lot of the L if you have to pitch part of the dose. I did study up on it and you're right it isn't that stable in water. Rapid tapering is probably not a good idea. I'd try to reason with your new doctor and see what happens. Have your previous doctor talk to her if possible. There has to be a way for you to control the rate of the taper. I wonder why Librium was chosen.  My doctor said he only uses it for very short term alcohol abuse. Anyway, I'm still not clear on how many mg your dose is each day.  --V

 

V, I was switched to L because I am an ultra-rapid metaboilzer of V, so it wouldn't have been as slow for me as for other people. (I have screwy liver enzymes.) I am going to try to reason with my doctor and with this new doctor. I found out the psychiatrist is booking out to November so I get a month's reprieve and another fill of my script before I have to see him. I'm thinking about Anne's idea about freezing it. That way I would have to pitch very little. What would we do without Anne? She speaks that "foreign language" that they use in all these papers they post online that I think are written in Chinese or something. 

 

My total dose is 30mg of L. It is divided into 3 doses. Each dose is 2 5mg capsules. I asked for the smallest capsules so I wouldn't have to dissolve anything bigger than 5mg since I was having to pitch. Did that make sense?

 

Gard

[[He...]]

V,

I am not sure I understand your math. I THINK I do.

 

Your signature says you cut .025 from 11.25 mg and you got down to 11.0

 

Do you mean you cut .025 for TEN  DAYS, ( .025x10=.25  ) and THEN you got to 11.0 ?

 

Am I understanding this correctly?

 

Would you please explain this to me? I want to understand because when it is time, I want to do something very similar.

 

When do you hold? Only when you get more than mild wfx

 

Thanks,  Heath. 

[[Va...]]

V,

I am not sure I understand your math. I THINK I do.

 

Your signature says you cut .025 from 11.25 mg and you got down to 11.0

 

Do you mean you cut .025 for TEN  DAYS, ( .025x10=.25  ) and THEN you got to 11.0 ?

 

Am I understanding this correctly?

 

Would you please explain this to me? I want to understand because when it is time, I want to do something very similar.

 

When do you hold? Only when you get more than mild wfx

 

Thanks,  Heath. 

Hi Heath. You're correct. I'm cutting .025 daily. That's .25 every 10 days. I only hold when I feel sxs ramping up. I haven't had to hold much this past couple of weeks. I did hold every 5 days when I started again just to get a feel for the daily MT. I know my lag time is 10 days so I always assess how I feel every 10 days. Hope that helps!  --V

[[Va...]]

Anybody good at rescuing someone in a bad situation, and particularly with math, would you look at my post on the MT thread? I think my days of being able to hold are about to end, and very abruptly.

 

Thanks!

 

Gard

I'll look gard but I don't know if I'd trust my math.  OK. I just read it and am unclear on what your dose is. I also think you could get away without pitching any of your dose. I don't waste any of mine. I dissolve the pills and split between dry pills and liquid to cut.  I just take a portion of of dry and the cut amount wet and don't have to waste any dissolved pills that way. I think you could get away doing the same.  If I know your dose and how much you want to cut, I can figure it out for you.  --V

 

V, I totally don't understand what you're saying. But I have had a terrible, horrible past few days that I don't even want to get into. My brain is jittery jumpy all over the place.

 

I take Librium. It only comes in capsules. The smallest is 5mg. That's my size capsule.

 

I take 2 capsules 3 times/day. When I reduce, I dissolve one capsule from each dose, pull and pitch and drink the rest. So I waste 3 capsules/day doing this.

 

Librium does not stay stable as a liquid very long. I found a scientific article I don't understand but it seems to be saying that storing it as a liquid is not good. No pharmacy will compound it into a liquid for me, saying it would not be stable.

 

When I reduced in the past, I set out 3 little jars, dissolved one capsule in each, pulled and pitched, then took the dose within 24 hours. Each dose was 2 capsules and one jar of liquid. Now it would be each dose would be one capsule and one jar of liquid. But you see how that uses up the capsules very quickly.

 

I was not worried about wasting capsules because my primary was happy to prescribe and keep me on benzos indefinitely. Now there is a psychiatrist available (the practice had none since February) and my primary wants to pass me off to to the new psychiatrist. I give it about 0.5% chance that the new psychiatrist is going to be as flexible and open-minded as the one I had before, who gave the instructions to my primary about tapering me. The taper has been brutal and my primary is chickening out, basically, and wants to pass me off to somebody else who is "more qualified." Good grief. Most psychiatrists are not qualified at all when it comes to benzo tapering. She is likely to rapid taper me. I'm scared and trying to preserve as many capsules as possible.

 

I hope that made some sense. 

This is tough gard. The math would be easy but you're still going to be wasting a lot of the L if you have to pitch part of the dose. I did study up on it and you're right it isn't that stable in water. Rapid tapering is probably not a good idea. I'd try to reason with your new doctor and see what happens. Have your previous doctor talk to her if possible. There has to be a way for you to control the rate of the taper. I wonder why Librium was chosen.  My doctor said he only uses it for very short term alcohol abuse. Anyway, I'm still not clear on how many mg your dose is each day.  --V

 

V, I was switched to L because I am an ultra-rapid metaboilzer of V, so it wouldn't have been as slow for me as for other people. (I have screwy liver enzymes.) I am going to try to reason with my doctor and with this new doctor. I found out the psychiatrist is booking out to November so I get a month's reprieve and another fill of my script before I have to see him. I'm thinking about Anne's idea about freezing it. That way I would have to pitch very little. What would we do without Anne? She speaks that "foreign language" that they use in all these papers they post online that I think are written in Chinese or something. 

 

My total dose is 30mg of L. It is divided into 3 doses. Each dose is 2 5mg capsules. I asked for the smallest capsules so I wouldn't have to dissolve anything bigger than 5mg since I was having to pitch. Did that make sense?

 

Gard

So your current dose is 30 mg per day?--V

[[ga...]]

 

So your current dose is 30 mg per day?--V

 

Yes, the total is 30mg, divided into 3 doses.

 

I am still holding from my partial Q taper. I am going to keep holding all week. The neuropathy is very bothersome but not horrific. We are both sick with a nasty virus and not sleeping well, so the adds to the anxiety. (My son managed to get sick, too and can't come over to mow or help in any way. Not that he usually does, but it would be nice to have him to at least go pick up my scripts for me.) I would really like it to settle down to no neuropathy and little anxiety before I take up my L taper again. Then I had planned to do a chicken-turtle.

 

Now I wonder if I should start with doing partial liquefying next week already. Maybe just one capsule. See what happens. No reduction, just liquefying. And then maybe freezing and thawing the one capsule before I take it. See what happens.

 

The new psychiatrist is booking out to November, so I get one more script from my primary this month. And I get to see my trauma therapist before I have to see the psychiatrist. Actually, I'm not too crazy about her,but it will be good to see her and ask her about continuing to hold. She wants me to hold right now. We haven't even started the EMDR yet and she says no medicine changes while doing EMDR. And I think we are going to start it soon. But now I am nervous and want to taper.

 

BTW, I have been saving capsules and have a stash because I tapered off faster than I told my doctors. I counted them. I have over 500. I got freaked yesterday by wanting to make sure they were OK, so I put them in double plastic bags, sealed, and then put the bags in a metal tin. I have always stored them in a room in the basement where the temperature stays more consistent than the rest of the house. Hope they are safe. My daughter knows that if the house burns down or if we are flooded, be sure to grab the tin!

 

Gard

[[Va...]]

 

So your current dose is 30 mg per day?--V

 

Yes, the total is 30mg, divided into 3 doses.

 

I am still holding from my partial Q taper. I am going to keep holding all week. The neuropathy is very bothersome but not horrific. We are both sick with a nasty virus and not sleeping well, so the adds to the anxiety. (My son managed to get sick, too and can't come over to mow or help in any way. Not that he usually does, but it would be nice to have him to at least go pick up my scripts for me.) I would really like it to settle down to no neuropathy and little anxiety before I take up my L taper again. Then I had planned to do a chicken-turtle.

 

Now I wonder if I should start with doing partial liquefying next week already. Maybe just one capsule. See what happens. No reduction, just liquefying. And then maybe freezing and thawing the one capsule before I take it. See what happens.

 

The new psychiatrist is booking out to November, so I get one more script from my primary this month. And I get to see my trauma therapist before I have to see the psychiatrist. Actually, I'm not too crazy about her,but it will be good to see her and ask her about continuing to hold. She wants me to hold right now. We haven't even started the EMDR yet and she says no medicine changes while doing EMDR. And I think we are going to start it soon. But now I am nervous and want to taper.

 

BTW, I have been saving capsules and have a stash because I tapered off faster than I told my doctors. I counted them. I have over 500. I got freaked yesterday by wanting to make sure they were OK, so I put them in double plastic bags, sealed, and then put the bags in a metal tin. I have always stored them in a room in the basement where the temperature stays more consistent than the rest of the house. Hope they are safe. My daughter knows that if the house burns down or if we are flooded, be sure to grab the tin!

 

Gard

Thanks for clarifying gard. I would start liquefying now to get used to it. Is there any reason why you liquefy all your doses? You could liquefy one dose a day and take solid pills for the rest. You can also liquefy a partial dose and take the rest solid. If the freezing works, it would enable you to take out your cut dose without having to throw any out. I just need to understand your dosing regimen and why you liquefy all the doses.  --V

[[He...]]

V,

I am not sure I understand your math. I THINK I do.

 

Your signature says you cut .025 from 11.25 mg and you got down to 11.0

 

Do you mean you cut .025 for TEN  DAYS, ( .025x10=.25  ) and THEN you got to 11.0 ?

 

Am I understanding this correctly?

 

Would you please explain this to me? I want to understand because when it is time, I want to do something very similar.

 

When do you hold? Only when you get more than mild wfx

 

Thanks,  Heath. 

Hi Heath. You're correct. I'm cutting .025 daily. That's .25 every 10 days. I only hold when I feel sxs ramping up. I haven't had to hold much this past couple of weeks. I did hold every 5 days when I started again just to get a feel for the daily MT. I know my lag time is 10 days so I always assess how I feel every 10 days. Hope that helps!  --V

 

V,

Thanks for the expanation. I get it now for sure!

[[ga...]]

 

So your current dose is 30 mg per day?--V

 

Yes, the total is 30mg, divided into 3 doses.

 

I am still holding from my partial Q taper. I am going to keep holding all week. The neuropathy is very bothersome but not horrific. We are both sick with a nasty virus and not sleeping well, so the adds to the anxiety. (My son managed to get sick, too and can't come over to mow or help in any way. Not that he usually does, but it would be nice to have him to at least go pick up my scripts for me.) I would really like it to settle down to no neuropathy and little anxiety before I take up my L taper again. Then I had planned to do a chicken-turtle.

 

Now I wonder if I should start with doing partial liquefying next week already. Maybe just one capsule. See what happens. No reduction, just liquefying. And then maybe freezing and thawing the one capsule before I take it. See what happens.

 

The new psychiatrist is booking out to November, so I get one more script from my primary this month. And I get to see my trauma therapist before I have to see the psychiatrist. Actually, I'm not too crazy about her,but it will be good to see her and ask her about continuing to hold. She wants me to hold right now. We haven't even started the EMDR yet and she says no medicine changes while doing EMDR. And I think we are going to start it soon. But now I am nervous and want to taper.

 

BTW, I have been saving capsules and have a stash because I tapered off faster than I told my doctors. I counted them. I have over 500. I got freaked yesterday by wanting to make sure they were OK, so I put them in double plastic bags, sealed, and then put the bags in a metal tin. I have always stored them in a room in the basement where the temperature stays more consistent than the rest of the house. Hope they are safe. My daughter knows that if the house burns down or if we are flooded, be sure to grab the tin!

 

Gard

Thanks for clarifying gard. I would start liquefying now to get used to it. Is there any reason why you liquefy all your doses? You could liquefy one dose a day and take solid pills for the rest. You can also liquefy a partial dose and take the rest solid. If the freezing works, it would enable you to take out your cut dose without having to throw any out. I just need to understand your dosing regimen and why you liquefy all the doses.  --V

 

I was liquefying one capsule from each dose and bringing all 3 doses down together by pitching from each dose. I wanted to keep the doses even.

 

I'm not sure about the freezing. I wish I knew for sure it was safe but I don't think there is any way to know.

[[Va...]]

 

So your current dose is 30 mg per day?--V

 

Yes, the total is 30mg, divided into 3 doses.

 

I am still holding from my partial Q taper. I am going to keep holding all week. The neuropathy is very bothersome but not horrific. We are both sick with a nasty virus and not sleeping well, so the adds to the anxiety. (My son managed to get sick, too and can't come over to mow or help in any way. Not that he usually does, but it would be nice to have him to at least go pick up my scripts for me.) I would really like it to settle down to no neuropathy and little anxiety before I take up my L taper again. Then I had planned to do a chicken-turtle.

 

Now I wonder if I should start with doing partial liquefying next week already. Maybe just one capsule. See what happens. No reduction, just liquefying. And then maybe freezing and thawing the one capsule before I take it. See what happens.

 

The new psychiatrist is booking out to November, so I get one more script from my primary this month. And I get to see my trauma therapist before I have to see the psychiatrist. Actually, I'm not too crazy about her,but it will be good to see her and ask her about continuing to hold. She wants me to hold right now. We haven't even started the EMDR yet and she says no medicine changes while doing EMDR. And I think we are going to start it soon. But now I am nervous and want to taper.

 

BTW, I have been saving capsules and have a stash because I tapered off faster than I told my doctors. I counted them. I have over 500. I got freaked yesterday by wanting to make sure they were OK, so I put them in double plastic bags, sealed, and then put the bags in a metal tin. I have always stored them in a room in the basement where the temperature stays more consistent than the rest of the house. Hope they are safe. My daughter knows that if the house burns down or if we are flooded, be sure to grab the tin!

 

Gard

Thanks for clarifying gard. I would start liquefying now to get used to it. Is there any reason why you liquefy all your doses? You could liquefy one dose a day and take solid pills for the rest. You can also liquefy a partial dose and take the rest solid. If the freezing works, it would enable you to take out your cut dose without having to throw any out. I just need to understand your dosing regimen and why you liquefy all the doses.  --V

 

I was liquefying one capsule from each dose and bringing all 3 doses down together by pitching from each dose. I wanted to keep the doses even.

 

I'm not sure about the freezing. I wish I knew for sure it was safe but I don't think there is any way to know.

The good news is if you can get your doctor to let you taper at your own speed. If that's the case, we can come up with a daily MT that will work for you.  --V

[[ga...]]

 

So your current dose is 30 mg per day?--V

 

Yes, the total is 30mg, divided into 3 doses.

 

I am still holding from my partial Q taper. I am going to keep holding all week. The neuropathy is very bothersome but not horrific. We are both sick with a nasty virus and not sleeping well, so the adds to the anxiety. (My son managed to get sick, too and can't come over to mow or help in any way. Not that he usually does, but it would be nice to have him to at least go pick up my scripts for me.) I would really like it to settle down to no neuropathy and little anxiety before I take up my L taper again. Then I had planned to do a chicken-turtle.

 

Now I wonder if I should start with doing partial liquefying next week already. Maybe just one capsule. See what happens. No reduction, just liquefying. And then maybe freezing and thawing the one capsule before I take it. See what happens.

 

The new psychiatrist is booking out to November, so I get one more script from my primary this month. And I get to see my trauma therapist before I have to see the psychiatrist. Actually, I'm not too crazy about her,but it will be good to see her and ask her about continuing to hold. She wants me to hold right now. We haven't even started the EMDR yet and she says no medicine changes while doing EMDR. And I think we are going to start it soon. But now I am nervous and want to taper.

 

BTW, I have been saving capsules and have a stash because I tapered off faster than I told my doctors. I counted them. I have over 500. I got freaked yesterday by wanting to make sure they were OK, so I put them in double plastic bags, sealed, and then put the bags in a metal tin. I have always stored them in a room in the basement where the temperature stays more consistent than the rest of the house. Hope they are safe. My daughter knows that if the house burns down or if we are flooded, be sure to grab the tin!

 

Gard

Thanks for clarifying gard. I would start liquefying now to get used to it. Is there any reason why you liquefy all your doses? You could liquefy one dose a day and take solid pills for the rest. You can also liquefy a partial dose and take the rest solid. If the freezing works, it would enable you to take out your cut dose without having to throw any out. I just need to understand your dosing regimen and why you liquefy all the doses.  --V

 

I was liquefying one capsule from each dose and bringing all 3 doses down together by pitching from each dose. I wanted to keep the doses even.

 

I'm not sure about the freezing. I wish I knew for sure it was safe but I don't think there is any way to know.

The good news is if you can get your doctor to let you taper at your own speed. If that's the case, we can come up with a daily MT that will work for you.  --V

 

Yes, Up until now I thought I had all the time in the world. Now I have a month to wonder what's going to happen next. I am very upset with my primary for dumping me like this. I thought I could trust her and she was going to stick with me. At least that's what she said. I'm starting to think you can't trust any of these "professionals" at all.

[[jr...]]

 

So your current dose is 30 mg per day?--V

 

Yes, the total is 30mg, divided into 3 doses.

 

I am still holding from my partial Q taper. I am going to keep holding all week. The neuropathy is very bothersome but not horrific. We are both sick with a nasty virus and not sleeping well, so the adds to the anxiety. (My son managed to get sick, too and can't come over to mow or help in any way. Not that he usually does, but it would be nice to have him to at least go pick up my scripts for me.) I would really like it to settle down to no neuropathy and little anxiety before I take up my L taper again. Then I had planned to do a chicken-turtle.

 

Now I wonder if I should start with doing partial liquefying next week already. Maybe just one capsule. See what happens. No reduction, just liquefying. And then maybe freezing and thawing the one capsule before I take it. See what happens.

 

The new psychiatrist is booking out to November, so I get one more script from my primary this month. And I get to see my trauma therapist before I have to see the psychiatrist. Actually, I'm not too crazy about her,but it will be good to see her and ask her about continuing to hold. She wants me to hold right now. We haven't even started the EMDR yet and she says no medicine changes while doing EMDR. And I think we are going to start it soon. But now I am nervous and want to taper.

 

BTW, I have been saving capsules and have a stash because I tapered off faster than I told my doctors. I counted them. I have over 500. I got freaked yesterday by wanting to make sure they were OK, so I put them in double plastic bags, sealed, and then put the bags in a metal tin. I have always stored them in a room in the basement where the temperature stays more consistent than the rest of the house. Hope they are safe. My daughter knows that if the house burns down or if we are flooded, be sure to grab the tin!

 

Gard

Thanks for clarifying gard. I would start liquefying now to get used to it. Is there any reason why you liquefy all your doses? You could liquefy one dose a day and take solid pills for the rest. You can also liquefy a partial dose and take the rest solid. If the freezing works, it would enable you to take out your cut dose without having to throw any out. I just need to understand your dosing regimen and why you liquefy all the doses.  --V

 

I was liquefying one capsule from each dose and bringing all 3 doses down together by pitching from each dose. I wanted to keep the doses even.

 

I'm not sure about the freezing. I wish I knew for sure it was safe but I don't think there is any way to know.

The good news is if you can get your doctor to let you taper at your own speed. If that's the case, we can come up with a daily MT that will work for you.  --V

 

Yes, Up until now I thought I had all the time in the world. Now I have a month to wonder what's going to happen next. I am very upset with my primary for dumping me like this. I thought I could trust her and she was going to stick with me. At least that's what she said. I'm starting to think you can't trust any of these "professionals" at all.

 

I trusted a professional one time!! That is how I ended up in this mess!!! Never again!!!

[[ga...]]

 

I trusted a professional one time!! That is how I ended up in this mess!!! Never again!!!

 

I'll bet most of us on here got this way from trusting professionals. And sad that so many people out there are yet to become victims of "professionals." 

[[He...]]

Hi V, or anyone else who knows for sure,

 

 

Solution question.....

 

 

If I am using a 10:1 solution but don't want to mix  a full solution, (90 mg water to 10 mgValium)

 

I can mix half of the solution,  and that would be 45 mg water to 5mg Valium.

 

Is that right?

 

Thanks for verifying my math.

 

Heath

 

[[jr...]]

Hi V, or anyone else who knows for sure,

 

 

Solution question.....

 

 

If I am using a 10:1 solution but don't want to mix  a full solution, (90 mg water to 10 mgValium)

 

I can mix half of the solution,  and that would be 45 mg water to 5mg Valium.

 

Is that right?

 

Thanks for verifying my math.

 

Heath

 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hey JR,

 

How are you doing on the taper?  I see you are getting quite low.  I am having a fairly easy time so far at the lower doses and lesser cuts.  Not without sxs - but quite tolerable.  At what level do you plan to "walk off"?

[[Va...]]

Hi V, or anyone else who knows for sure,

 

 

Solution question.....

 

 

If I am using a 10:1 solution but don't want to mix  a full solution, (90 mg water to 10 mgValium)

 

I can mix half of the solution,  and that would be 45 mg water to 5mg Valium.

 

Is that right?

 

Thanks for verifying my math.

 

Heath

Yes if you are using liquid V.  --V

[[ba...]]

 

I trusted a professional one time!! That is how I ended up in this mess!!! Never again!!!

 

I'll bet most of us on here got this way from trusting professionals. And sad that so many people out there are yet to become victims of "professionals." 

 

"Don't worry, we wont let you get addicted." (from my doc)

 

OMFG

[[He...]]

ITS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO HOLD!

I am at day 41, almost 6 weeks.

I am still getting new.wdfx. Dizziness and unbalance was real bad but lasted only two or three days and disappeared again thank goodness.

 

But My inner shakes and trembles were starting to disappear but now they are back from the minute I wake up and last almost all day. Same as day one of my hold.

 

New side effects of Weak legs and Neck and low back pain have not disappeared for about a month now.

 

Windows are coming at night,as before, they take away the trembles and shakes,

 

but intrusive, scary thoughts, weak legs and neck pain never go away.

 

Should I up dose? It's been almost 6 weeks. I don't want to up dose,but am I just being stubborn? I hate going backwards and have never done that. Is up dosing a way to help myself? am I being dumb by not up dosing, or am I being strong by not up dosing? I don't know!

 

Is there anyone on this forum who has actually done long holds all the way down to completely walking off their drug? If you know of anyone, please tell them to post here or send me a private message.

 

I am so sick of being sick. I used to exercise at the earlier part of my taper. Now I am too sick to exercise. It's all I can muster up to go a little bit of grocery shopping or the pharmacy.

 

I know the majority of you have been where I am now. I Know you stuck it out. What's wrong with ME? Why am I so weak minded?

 

I keep thinking that a long hold will eventually make my brain want more than before, kind of like hitting tolerance. I have been told over and over that it won't happen but I am still afraid of it.

 

I thought a long hold is supposed to make wdfx much more tolerable. And I would be able to live my life while still tapering, but it's not happening. Is it because I have just not held long enough yet? Sometimes I think I know the answers to my own questions but I am so discouraged.

 

Why aren't there more people on this board? How do I know it really will work fir me?

I am being so negative. What the heck is wrong with me?

 

You are all so kind and I'm not being nice at all. Please don't take any of this personally. I think you are all so wonderful. I just need to scream! I am sick of being sick, I am scared. I want out! But I know that's not the solution.

 

If anyone knows of a thread or a post by someone who did a long hold and got completely off their drug that way, will you please post it here so I can read it? I think it will help me.

 

I'm going to go and read VallyUm's propaganda AGAIN. I. Just realized I haven't read it in a long time. It usually pulls me out of a slump..

 

I know I need to hold a very very long time so I stablize.

Please turn me around and make me be positive and hopeful again.

 

i don't want this drug to win!

 

And please forgive me for pouring my woes out at all of you. You don't deserve it. I know It wasn't you who gave me this drug in the first place.

 

Heath :'( :'(