The Long Hold Support Group

[[Va...]]

You bet BeGood!  And everyone else here,

 

A walk, or even a gentle stroll.

 

Jump is no longer in my vocabulary!

 

Heath. 

 

Oh, and From the way I woke up this morning, it looks like another good day is in front of me. Keeping my hopes up high. Actually going to the gym.

So glad you're doing so well Heath! 

[[an...]]

You bet BeGood!  And everyone else here,

 

A walk, or even a gentle stroll.

 

Jump is no longer in my vocabulary!

 

Heath. 

 

Oh, and From the way I woke up this morning, it looks like another good day is in front of me. Keeping my hopes up high. Actually going to the gym.

 

I am so happy you are feeling better Heath.

 

Cheers to more windows!!

Anne

[[ly...]]

 

 

Good news Heath!  The ups and downs can be challenging but things seem to be going in the right direction.

[[He...]]

Lynne,Anne, ValleyUm, BeGood, MiYu,  Stephen, And everyone else

 

Thank you all for your well wishes.

I'm sending them all back to your court now. I hope everyone has good moments and better days  to post.

 

I hope Lizagal and Pleasebehere and Gardner are having an easier time today,especially because I read that they have been having a rough time. I hope better days are close at hand. Be strong and patient. All buddies are here for you.

 

MiYu, how are you today?

 

Heath

[[Sh...]]

Officially at the 3 month mark since jumping. So I've been 'holding' my dose at 0. I post here because it feels like this is the right group for some reason. Like we are all just waiting.

[[ly...]]

 

 

How are you feeling Shamo?

[[He...]]

Shamo,

 

May your "long hold" last forever and may it be smooth sailing forever as well!

 

Great news Shamo!

 

Heathcliff

[[Va...]]

Officially at the 3 month mark since jumping. So I've been 'holding' my dose at 0. I post here because it feels like this is the right group for some reason. Like we are all just waiting.

[[He...]]

Yesterday was a really good day.

 

But Feeling sick today. No new wdfx but didn't sleep well.

Just exhausted and feeling sick, sick, sick.

Hope it doesn't stay too long. Oh lord help me.

Up an down, up and down. It's enough to make a person crazy!

HEAL BRAIN, HEAL!

 

Heath

[[Va...]]

Yesterday was a really good day.

 

But Feeling sick today. No new wdfx but didn't sleep well.

Just exhausted and feeling sick, sick, sick.

Hope it doesn't stay too long. Oh lord help me.

Up an down, up and down. It's enough to make a person crazy!

HEAL BRAIN, HEAL!

 

Heath

I'm with you Heath! Still trying to find the right micro taper rhythm. I was doing so well down to 11mg but now sxs are ramping up more than I want so I might go back to 11 and hold for a bit. It's so hard as I feel pretty good some of the day and then crappy out of the blue. I didn't have the up and down when I started tapering again so I know it's lag time building up. Decisions, decisions.....  Hope you get past your rough spot soon!--V

[[an...]]

Same thing going on here V and Heath.  I had a great few weeks, and now I am experiencing an uptick in symptoms.  This has been going on since Saturday evening.  I have held for the last couple of days.  Over the last month I reduced my dose from 0.216 down to 0.204 mg.  Not much at all.  So, why this horrible uptick in symptoms?  I actually felt normal for a few weeks--I even drove which is something I have not been able to do for a while.  Now I feel like I am going back to where I was in June.

 

 

 

 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Hi Anne, Heath and V.  Sorry about the rough patch.  This up and down can really get you down!

 

I'm on day 2 of latest .03 cut.  I am down to .19.  So far, so good...but xanax cuts usually don't hit me until day 3-5.

[[He...]]

Hello

 

I Went to pdoc today.

He doesn't know why I am getting such bad wdfx while cutting only .05 last cut. He thinks I am Ultra sensitive!

I had a long discussion( one sided actually) about my central nervous system healing when I hold, reaching homeostasis, etc. before I titrate down again. I mentioned gabba receptors at one point and he stopped me. He said I was.talking about things I didn't t know about and that I was out if my league. He said it is not my area of expertise and I should stay off of the Internet.

 

I am really not sure about this doc. He gives me my liquid v  and he is letting me do my taper my own way, so I'm sticking with him. There are very little pdocs around my city who know about Benzos.but I'm reAlly not sure if he REALly knows about Benzos and how to taper.

 

Maybe I am all wrong. Maybe he does know all about Benzos. Maybe he thinks I am just a dummy and it is I who doesn't understand. I wish he would give me credit for being able to read information and understand it. I'm a college grad  and  I'm not reading garbage. I'm reading books about Benzos and how to get off of them by knowledgeable doctors in this field. My pdoc really doesn't carry on an intelligent conversation with me. He says I am too much into my own head!

 

Whoa! What a worthless doc visit that was.  But hey ,he's giving me my meds and he's letting me do it my way, so that part is good.

 

On to another subject:

 

ValleyUm... Sorry you are having a rough time again with your taper. I don't know enough to advise you. But one thing I realize and that is Valium has a long half life, so it probably takes longer to feel any fx from a cut.  I think I will hold after just 4days worth of a .01 micro cut to see if I get bad fx. Hopefully 2-3 weeks will be long enough to wait since it is only a cut of .04 after the four days.

That's half of what I tried to cut last time I cut..(.08)

But right now I am still holding! So we shall see!

 

I woke up feeling crappy but as the day goes on I am doing ok.

I guess I have to remember that I am going to have crappy day's even when I am doing well. It's the nature of the beast!  I am still holding  though.

 

Hope everyone has a better day tomorrow!

For me, I'm going to listen to my Fight Song!

Heath

[[He...]]

Anne, sorry you are having a  rough patch.  If I didn't know better I'd say there was something in the air! You ,me, V, all having rough times in the middle of good times.

Hope tomorrow is better for everyone.

Heath

[[be...]]

Heath, Anne ,and Valley, so sorry to hear you are all hitting a bad patch, it so hard this Journey, and so many roadblocks at times, My thoughts are with all of you, and I am sure that you will all find a way to get through this. Breathe, and hold on to the fact that you have felt some Normal, and this too shall pass.

[[Va...]]

Thanks BG, lynn, Anne and Heath. Sounds like you know more than your doc Heath! my doctor told me he had no idea how to get anyone off as no one had ever asked to come off before so he's letting me do my own thing and said I could help him get others off.

 

Anne, maybe I shouldn't complain. I've been able to drive my whole taper even when I've been half out of my mind. Not because I wanted to but because I have to lol. Work and taxi for my daughter. I'm used to the driving part.

 

It's the "dirty anxiety" I haven't had yet that's driving me crazy. It's not like a regular anxiety. I can deal with that just fine. This feels different. I go in and out of it all day. I'm sure I'll get used to it just like all the other garbage I've learned to ignore through this lol. Hope all struggling have a quick turnaround! --V

[[an...]]

 

 

Hi Anne, Heath and V.  Sorry about the rough patch.  This up and down can really get you down!

 

I'm on day 2 of latest .03 cut.  I am down to .19.  So far, so good...but xanax cuts usually don't hit me until day 3-5.

 

Hi Lynn,

 

Thank you!!  As usual, after a few good days/weeks I am always surprised when I experience an uptick in symptoms.  After feeling normal for a while, I actually believe that I will not get hit with symptoms again.  Then, out of the blue they reappear. 

 

I am glad to hear you are doing so well!!  Funny how you feel your cuts 3 to 5 days later with Xanax.  I used to feel them right away with Ativan, but maybe I am feeling the very small cuts (less than 2.7%) over the last 2 weeks.

 

You are doing great!!  I wish you continued healing.  You are almost at the end.

 

Anne 

 

 

[[an...]]

Anne, sorry you are having a  rough patch.  If I didn't know better I'd say there was something in the air! You ,me, V, all having rough times in the middle of good times.

Hope tomorrow is better for everyone.

Heath

 

Thank you Heath.  Let's hope we all feel better soon.  It is so disheartening after having several good days.

 

Wishing you more windows.

Anne

[[an...]]

Heath, Anne ,and Valley, so sorry to hear you are all hitting a bad patch, it so hard this Journey, and so many roadblocks at times, My thoughts are with all of you, and I am sure that you will all find a way to get through this. Breathe, and hold on to the fact that you have felt some Normal, and this too shall pass.

 

Hi BeGood,

 

Your kind words always help.  Yes, it shall pass. I hope you are doing well. 

 

Anne 

[[an...]]

Thanks BG, lynn, Anne and Heath. Sounds like you know more than your doc Heath! my doctor told me he had no idea how to get anyone off as no one had ever asked to come off before so he's letting me do my own thing and said I could help him get others off.

 

Anne, maybe I shouldn't complain. I've been able to drive my whole taper even when I've been half out of my mind. Not because I wanted to but because I have to lol. Work and taxi for my daughter. I'm used to the driving part.

 

It's the "dirty anxiety" I haven't had yet that's driving me crazy. It's not like a regular anxiety. I can deal with that just fine. This feels different. I go in and out of it all day. I'm sure I'll get used to it just like all the other garbage I've learned to ignore through this lol. Hope all struggling have a quick turnaround! --V

 

Hi V,

 

Oh yes, the chemical anxiety.  It is horrible.  So different from everyday anxiety.  I had some very stressful situations several weeks ago, but not once was I bothered with the chemical anxiety.  It was just plain old anxiety which I can handle.    When I get hit with the chemical anxiety, I feel right on the verge of a panic attack which is why I was not driving.

 

These last few days I have been plagued with high blood pressure spikes and feeling off balance when I stand or walk.  These are my two worse symptoms.  I was not bothered with them for several weeks, but now they are back with a vengeance.  So far, no anxiety though (I am afraid to type this because every time I type that I am doing well, I get hit).  We shall see what tomorrow brings. 

 

I hope you get some relief soon.  Hopefully, we all will.

 

Anne 

[[He...]]

Lynn,

 

It's  so good to hear that you are doing well. Wouldn't it be great if those Xanax wdfx you spoke about do not come at all with this last cut!  Anything is possible when you are a warrior! You are so close to walking off!

 

All the best!

I can't wait to lift up a glass in honor of you! Keep going! Peace  and healing are right around the corner.

 

Heath

[[He...]]

Thanks BeGood, for your encouragement. 

 

The anxiety is the worst for me. Never had it before I started to taper. But I keep telling myself, it's the Benzos! And it will go away!

 

Thanks for being there again!

 

Heath

[[ly...]]

 

 

Thanks all for the well wishes.  We are all on our way!

 

:smitten:

[[He...]]

Anne,

 

you are so low in your dose.  That is so encouraging, but I now you went through hell to get there. You must be very strong! I admire what you have done.

 

I'm so sorry you are having more wdfx even with a small cut.  Be strong! As all of us on  this support group know, this will pass.

 

I'm new to this and am wondering when do you know it is ok to walk off.

You are so low. Is that not low enough? Or are you waiting to just have a tiny fraction left?

 

Whenever it is, I hope you gently glide on out. I know you will,  when the time is right!

 

Good thoughts are with you,

 

Heath

 

[[an...]]

Hi Heath,

 

I will most likely taper all the way down to 0.01 mg--that is if I ever get there.  This has been a rough taper.  My first taper was smooth all the way down.  Once I got down to about 0.02 mg, I sometimes would forget to take my doses so I knew that I could probably jump.  I continued for a few more months, and realized that I had no symptoms whatsoever.  One day, I just stopped taking it.  I had no problems.

 

I have a feeling this time will be different.  It will take me over a year to taper this last little bit--no holds.  At the rate I am going though, I do have to hold, so it will take me much longer than a year.  I just can't seem to stabilize for more than a few weeks at a time, even when I am holding.  The symptoms just come out of the blue.  During my first taper, I never had to hold longer than a day or two.  I suppose the second time around is rougher.

 

I hope you continue to feel better. I have a feeling that you will have a smoother taper now that you incorporate the holds.

 

Good night!!  Thank you for your support!!

 

Anne