The Long Hold Support Group

[[Pl...]]

Heath, I am so glad you have made a firm commitment, and I agree completely with Lynn and Anne. Holding is not the enemy, it is the way to finally have some functional days, now saying this I know that there are many factors for each one of us, but I know for sure rushing and pushing forward for me when I had so many symptoms with my prior tapers, just caused me to go south, but in a horrible way, my poor Brain did not have time to recover, yes it takes more time, but I would rather do it my way and lose some time and have a fairly normal life, now it is not completely like I am getting off scots free, but I can do my daily life, and find some joy in my life, will this make my last bit of taper go without a hitch I do not know, all I know that I will go slow and so far it is going well for me, blips I can handle, I do not mind feeling "BLIPPY AT ALL" Heath I am watching your Journey and I know you will be alright, slow and easy and believe you can. Hello Lynn, and Anne

 

((HUGS)) to you BeGood.  I hope that you are doing well.  Like you, living my life now is more important than rushing to get off this drug.  My main priority is to be able to continue working, so I have no choice but to go slow.  I believe the up dose and the hold over the last few months was worth it.  I feel so much better now.  I can go out and do the things that I need and want to do without too much of an uptick in symptoms.  If I ever get as bad as I was back  in May/June, I will not wait 6 weeks to fix it.  I wasted my time off from work  just waiting for things to get better.  From now on, I will incorporate holds the minute I start feeling symptoms.  It will take me longer to finish the taper, but at least I will be able to live my life.  That is what it is about.  Like you, I can handle the "blips" from time to time.  It is the full blown symptoms that do not lessen in intensity that I cannot deal with. I know we will get through this.  That I do not doubt.  It will just take longer.

 

Take care,

Anne  :smitten:

 

Anne... If you don't mind me asking.. What did you mean when you said you won't wait 6 weeks to fix it next time?    I'm in a very bad way....trying to get things sorted out... I'm really scared..... Things are not going well for me..... Thank you kindly for your input so much.....

[[be...]]

Thanks Anne, Valley, Heath, such nice posts, made my day. :smitten:

[[sl...]]

I am on day 9 of my period.  I had some gushes of red blood yesterday and today it seems to be nearly gone... Just a light discharge.  I'm concerned.  Throughout my 12 months of wd hell, my period has been a normal 4-5 day cycle- until now.  I've never in my life have had a period like this.  Anyone else? 

 

Btw, I'm 35.  I don't sleep, so I'm guessing that has everything to do with it. 

[[Gi...]]

Heathcliff,

 

Your comment about people saying you look fine struck a cord with me.  Thirteen months  ago I sustained a severe concussion from which I am still slowly recovering.  I have learned the hard way that when you look normal on the outside it is difficult for others to believe there could really be anything wrong.  Same with the benzo symptoms.

 

I have followed the advice of this group and held for three months after reducing my  original dose 84% in five months.  It worked.  I made a 2.5% cut four days ago and so far only a mild headache three days ago.

 

I want to thank everyone in this group for the excellent advice I've read.  I love hearing everyone's experiences whether good or not.  It all contributes to more understanding of this process. G

[[Va...]]

Heathcliff,

 

Your comment about people saying you look fine struck a cord with me.  Thirteen months  ago I sustained a severe concussion from which I am still slowly recovering.  I have learned the hard way that when you look normal on the outside it is difficult for others to believe there could really be anything wrong.  Same with the benzo symptoms.

 

I have followed the advice of this group and held for three months after reducing my  original dose 84% in five months.  It worked.  I made a 2.5% cut four days ago and so far only a mild headache three days ago.

 

I want to thank everyone in this group for the excellent advice I've read.  I love hearing everyone's experiences whether good or not.  It all contributes to more understanding of this process. G

So good to hear Gingermint! Thanks for sharing your experience. So glad it worked for you.  --V

[[Sh...]]

Heathcliff,

 

Your comment about people saying you look fine struck a cord with me.  Thirteen months  ago I sustained a severe concussion from which I am still slowly recovering.  I have learned the hard way that when you look normal on the outside it is difficult for others to believe there could really be anything wrong.  Same with the benzo symptoms.

 

I have followed the advice of this group and held for three months after reducing my  original dose 84% in five months.  It worked.  I made a 2.5% cut four days ago and so far only a mild headache three days ago.

 

I want to thank everyone in this group for the excellent advice I've read.  I love hearing everyone's experiences whether good or not.  It all contributes to more understanding of this process. G

 

That's excellent gingermint. How did you feel leading up to the 3 month mark? I'm almost at 3 months and have improved a lot. But still struggling with mental sfxs/intrusive ocd thoughts. I'm completely off now though. But technically its still a long hold.

[[ly...]]

 

 

Way to go Gingermint! :thumbsup:

[[Ki...]]

Sleepless,

 

That has happened to me on and off throughout withdrawal. That along with missed periods, early periods, two periods a month....it's a never ending cycle of hormone dysfunction. I truly believe w/d has a huge impact on our hormones and that is where the distress and irregularity comes from. If you're really concerned, maybe go to your GP, though I'm sure they'll find nothing wrong.

 

Ang - how are you doing? Has your wave passed?

[[be...]]

Thanks Ginger for posting and letting us know your experiences with Long Hold and for the Positive thoughts. I would say you are [glow=red,2,300]"WINNING"  :smitten: [/glow] 

[[an...]]

[quote author=Pleasebehere link=topic=153201.msg2198075#msg2198075

 

Anne... If you don't mind me asking.. What did you mean when you said you won't wait 6 weeks to fix it next time?    I'm in a very bad way....trying to get things sorted out... I'm really scared..... Things are not going well for me..... Thank you kindly for your input so much.....

 

Hi Please,

 

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I hope you find relief soon.

 

Back in May I got hit with symptoms that were very intense and would not let up.  I thought  things would improve, but they got worse each day.  I let it go for weeks, and then finally up dosed.  I only increased my dose by a very small amount, but it was enough to where the symptoms subsided --I improved each day.  I still have some symptoms, but certainly not as intense, and I do have days where I feel 100%. If this were to happen again, I would do the same thing, but sooner rather than later.  But, that is me.  I also work so my first priority is being able to function at work. I am now back to cutting a very small amount daily, but I plan on incorporating holds when needed. 

 

((HUGS))

Anne

[[an...]]

 

 

Way to go Gingermint! :thumbsup:

 

So happy for you Gingermint!!!

[[Gi...]]

Shamo3,

 

I had many of the usual wd sx.  Headaches and pressure, dizziness, insomnia, anxiety, chills, tingling in my feet, dp & dr.  The insomnia and anxiety were the last to go.  I began having more windows and days feeling normal. When I had a full week of feeling good,  that's when I made another cut. My plan going forward is to taper slow enough to avoid the bad sx and hold as needed.

 

I'm happy to hear you are completely off.  Congratulations!  I look forward to the day I can say the same. G

[[He...]]

Valley Um, thanks so much for letting me know that you felt worse when you took your dose of V during your hold, then when you stabilized you felt better when you took it..... How interesting and how weird! I suppose while our body/ brains are trying to stabilize when we take the pill it throws everything off again..... Always trying to understand this incomprehensible stuff! It's helps me somehow. I mean there has to be some kind of rhyme and reason to all this......however complex.... One day a miracle cure will be found , but perhaps before that benzos will be banned except for super short period use......

Love to everyone  here, hope your day is going ok or better than that..... Me , I'm about the same , but not worse 

 

MiYu,

I saw your post that said you were the same.. Too sick is what your sig says. I am so sorry you are struggling. I hope you find some windows and peace and healing in the next few days. I too am holding and feeling miserable, so I really feel for you.

 

Hoping for good tidings for you MiYu,

Heathcliff

[[He...]]

Heath, I am so glad you have made a firm commitment, and I agree completely with Lynn and Anne. Holding is not the enemy, it is the way to finally have some functional days, now saying this I know that there are many factors for each one of us, but I know for sure rushing and pushing forward for me when I had so many symptoms with my prior tapers, just caused me to go south, but in a horrible way, my poor Brain did not have time to recover, yes it takes more time, but I would rather do it my way and lose some time and have a fairly normal life, now it is not completely like I am getting off scots free, but I can do my daily life, and find some joy in my life, will this make my last bit of taper go without a hitch I do not know, all I know that I will go slow and so far it is going well for me, blips I can handle, I do not mind feeling "BLIPPY AT ALL" Heath I am watching your Journey and I know you will be alright, slow and easy and believe you can. Hello Lynn, and Anne

 

BeGood,

Just want you to know that your posts do me so much good. I read them more than once and come back to them again a couple of times.

 

Thank you! Heath

 

And I'm so glad you are feeling ONLY BLIPPY,  but I do hope that even those BLIPS disappear too!

Peace and happy trails!

[[He...]]

 

 

Heath,

 

I think you are taking the proper course.  My experience with cutting too fast earlier this year was not good.  It took 2 months to feel good (T notwithstanding, also neck muscles tension remained).  I held another 2 months to allow my brain a break to further heal when not stressed by more cuts.  Last year I held 8 months after some very ill-advised huge cuts.

 

My subsequent cuts, at a lesser % than prior, have been relatively easy.  The wd from these has not been debilitating.  I don't think it's a fluke.  They were not sx free - I don't think this is possible for me.  Others have much more complicated histories and have not had as good of an experience - I don't pretend to know if things would have righted themselves with a longer hold or an updose.  I can't opine on that but have seen others hold for a year in order to be able to go forward with their taper.  We all have different factors at play.

 

I feel really well a couple weeks after my latest cut and plan to go 3 wks instead of 4 this time.  This is mainly due to some upcoming travel - I'll be away for a month - and I don't want to cut during this trip.  I hope that this goes well and I'll be over the worst when I leave 10 days after my cut.

 

Thanks Lynne

I think I just might hold that long too. I will see how I feel as the months roll out. Your posts help me put things in perspective. I know I have gotten good advice from you in the past. I'm only sorry that I didn't always listen. This time I WILL!

 

Happy trails, peace and good tidings.

 

Heath

 

[[He...]]

Hi Heath,

 

I believe you have made the right decision.  It is the last mg or so that is the most difficult.  It will take time, but you will eventually taper off without too many problems.  Slow is key.  Back in May/June I got hit with awful symptoms.  Nothing I hadn't experienced before, but much more intense, and the symptoms would last all day/night. I had not even been cutting, but I think the past cuts caught up with me.  After about 6 weeks of feeling awful, I up dosed by a small amount and then held for a few months, and I certainly did improve.  I am doing things now that I could not do  a few months ago.  My symptoms are mainly high blood pressure spikes, off balance feeling, tinnitus, chemical anxiety (very different from everyday anxiety), trouble swallowing, and some others.  I am not completely symptom free, but they are much less intense and I can function normally. I can sometimes go for a day or two without feeling any symptoms whatsoever.  I started cutting again a couple of weeks ago, and I am doing well--have cut about 3.7%.  I held for a few days because we had guests, and I just resumed cutting this morning. I will incorporate holds when I need to.  I am down to 0.207 mg Ativan which is equivalent to about 2 mg of valium.  This last bit will take me another year to taper--longer if I incorporate holds.  I am okay with that.  My goal is to be as symptom free as possible. 

 

You are doing the right thing.  Just take it slow, and you will feel much better at the end. My first taper was a smooth one, and I had no problems whatsoever when I jumped.

 

Have a good day Heath.

((HUGS)) Anne

 

Hi Anne,

Your experience makes me think about updosing a bit to get these bad wfx to subside. You said you updosed after 6 weeks of bad wfx during a hold an you wouldn't wait that long to updose if you had to do it over again. I often think about up dosing a bit, but if it doesn't work, then I'll still have to go through tapering off that same updose amount again.  So I am waiting. I am almost to the three week point and today was the first day my really bad wfx got a little bit better. So I am still thinking about a slight updose, but I am also still very hesitant.

What would you consider to be a small updose knowing that I am at 1.2 mg daily? I have no idea about updosing amounts.

 

I hope you are still going along smoothly in your taper. You said you still have symptoms but they are not so bad. I hope they begin to disappear soon and that your holds keep whatever symptoms you have at bay.

 

Happy trails, peace, healing, and all good things Anne!

 

Heath 

[[Ce...]]

I guess I don't understand....how long does a person wait after they've up-dosed to stabilize before they decide whether or not to up-dose again?

 

Thanks!   

[[Va...]]

I guess I don't understand....how long does a person wait after they've up-dosed to stabilize before they decide whether or not to up-dose again?

 

Thanks!   

Hi CeCe. Usually after about a week you can tell if it's working in my experience.  --V

[[be...]]

I guess I don't understand....how long does a person wait after they've up-dosed to stabilize before they decide whether or not to up-dose again?

 

Thanks!   

Hi CeCe. Usually after about a week you can tell if it's working in my experience.  --V

I agree with Valley, for me it is about a week, some feel it sooner, the famous words, "We are Different" Thanks Valley for your Kind words yesterday.

[[an...]]

In my experience it takes about a week.  Ativan has a shorter half life, so I usually would feel it within a couple of days.  For my last up dose, I went to 0.25 mg, and it was not working.  I only gave it  2 days though.  The thought of tapering down from 0.25 mg while still feeling so bad was not an option.  After two days, I started to quickly decrease the amount.  Once I got to 0.204 mg, I started to feel better.  That is where I held. 

 

An up dose may or may not work.  You do not want to become dependent on a larger amount of the drug if it does not help.  It is a risk that I was willing to take at the time. I have heard of others that up dose and then get worse.  It is not something I would recommend unless you gone through a long hold. 

 

Anne

[[Ce...]]

Thanks guys! Great info and advise (as usual  )

[[an...]]

 

Hi Anne,

Your experience makes me think about updosing a bit to get these bad wfx to subside. You said you updosed after 6 weeks of bad wfx during a hold an you wouldn't wait that long to updose if you had to do it over again. I often think about up dosing a bit, but if it doesn't work, then I'll still have to go through tapering off that same updose amount again.  So I am waiting. I am almost to the three week point and today was the first day my really bad wfx got a little bit better. So I am still thinking about a slight updose, but I am also still very hesitant.

What would you consider to be a small updose knowing that I am at 1.2 mg daily? I have no idea about updosing amounts.

 

I hope you are still going along smoothly in your taper. You said you still have symptoms but they are not so bad. I hope they begin to disappear soon and that your holds keep whatever symptoms you have at bay.

 

Happy trails, peace, healing, and all good things Anne!

 

Heath 

 

Hi Heath,

 

I am certainly not recommending an up dose.  For some it might work and for others it could make things worse. I upped my dose by about 20%--much higher than most people would go.  The reason being that the last time I felt decent was at a dose of 0.204 mg.  Again, if an up dose does not work, then you have no choice but to taper from the higher amount and feel horrible all the way down especially if the up dose worsens symptoms. It sounds like you are seeing some improvement, therefore the hold is most likely working.  It might be a good idea to hold longer.  V did really well with his hold.  Lynn has also done well with the long holds.  BeGood has  been successful with her taper and her method of holding.

 

It is likely that I would have felt better if I would have held longer.  I was impatient because I had to go back to  work again within a couple of weeks.  Up dosing was not a decision I wanted to make.  This was the only time during this 15 month taper that I up dosed. I hope that I will not need to do it again.  For me, it is an option though. During my first taper, I did not up dose once, and I never had to hold longer than a day or two.  This taper has been tough. 

 

I hope this helps.

((HUGS)) Anne

[[He...]]

Thanks Anne,

I will stick it out and do a long hold. Not going to up dose. I  agree that updosing is taking a chance. It may not even work. And since I am only into three weeks, I have a good chance in the weeks ahead to feel much better with a long hold. And if it is many months, so be it. I can't take these bad wfx any more.  Hopefully a very long hold will enable me to have very few side effects when I continue my taper. Maybe I'll be ready by the New Year.?

I hope my Pdoc supports this!.

 

Thanks again for your great explanations.

 

Heath 

[[fr...]]

  I agree with all of this.  I just cut a tiny .25 mg of V after a .50 mg cut around a month before.  I am getting hit so hard right now, it is day 10 of the cut.  Maybe the two combined cuts are hitting extra hard, who knows.  My spinal pain, burning etc. is unbearable today and I am contemplating updosing myself.  I know I will hold after this cut now.  Its so discouraging because I have so long to go but I just can't take this pain and all the s/x's along with it.  I hope we all can get to a stabler place.  I think I will probably have to try a liquid MT as this cut and hold is just killing me.  So much great info here and such compassion. Thanks for all you do V, BG, and all others who help us so much. 

[[Ho...]]

V, question for you. I saw earlier this summer you had a stomach virus. How did you deal

With that (as in hold down your V)? I was exposed to someone with it and think I'm

Getting it (low grade fever and nausea). I'm day 16 into a cut so I don't think the symptoms are from that,'wouldn't be typical for me anyway. So scared of not being able to hold down my v, and I dose three times a day.  Any tips, suggestions?