The Long Hold Support Group

[[St...]]

  Love to you Stut, miss you.  Hopefully we all will be better soon.  ❤️💕💋💕❤️

  Thank you my lovely friend l do truly wish you would get relief.Maybe when you are watching Jon Snow the symptoms will decrease slightly 😳😉.

Love and hugs Stut X

[[Ma...]]

Stut, I can hear in your post you are not feeling well.  I truly hope your sister gives you a break, how she could say no, I don't know.  It's so obvious to me you need a break.  We miss you and your wisdom, not to mention most special of all, your friendship.you mean so much to us all .  Love you, pets to all my girls, and tell your sis we all wish her well, your Lady Mary 🐱🐕🐶🐾🐾🐾🐾. 

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

[[Ma...]]

  Love to you Stut, miss you.  Hopefully we all will be better soon.  ❤️💕💋💕❤️

 

Morning free, love you my friend, GOT is coming 🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉.        🌺🌻🍄🐝🦋

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG, hoping a better day for all.  Unbelievably, it is suppose to be 94 degrees today    I wish I had some wise comment to help us all, but as we know, an hour , a day at a time and that's how we reach the end of this road.  Love you all, glad you are here.  Mary 🐕🦉.  🐉🐉🐉

[[Sc...]]

Aw, Scaredie, I've been crying a lot today too! You will be okay here. We look after each other.

 

We haven't met, so I'm Gilly from the UK. This lot often use "English" as my name.

 

Hugs, Gilly xxx 💟💟💟

Thanks for your kind words. Sorry you’re suffering too.

 

Nice to meet you, English. I’m Scardie, renamed SC, here from US.

XX

[[Sc...]]

Good morning long hold support group. Feeling the love of being welcomed back. Thank you.❤️

Esperanza, thank you, I agree with sticking with long half life, thanks, got momentarily confused. Hope all is well with you.

 

Cant, so nice of you to chime in while your not feeling well yourself. Your input is much appreciated. I’m sorry to hear of your struggles too. I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope it smooths over for you soon.

 

Stut, thank you for your words of wisdom & suggestions for getting through. Hope your feeling better soon, too.

 

Thanks all for the welcome back. May your day be as kind as you. XX

[[Ma...]]

Good morning long hold support group. Feeling the liver be of being welcomed back.

Esperanza, thank you, I agree with sticking with long half life, thanks, got momentarily confused. Hope all is well with you.

 

Cant, so nice of you to chime in while your not feeling well yourself. Your input is much appreciated. I’m sorry to hear of your struggles too. I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope it smooths over for you soon.

 

Stut, thank you for your words of wisdom & suggestions for getting through. Hope your feeling better soon, too.

 

Thanks all for the welcome back. May your day be as kind as you. XX

 

Morning Scardie 

[[4G...]]

Hi All. I am going through the wringer again. Don't know how I can carry on feeling like this. Still, I see many of us are going through a bad time. Stut, Trishy, Espy, Cant, Scaredie. Hope you all feel better soon. Mary, I hope you are okay. You do well running the group. I'm having the very dark thoughts again. If anyone can give any encouragement then that would be really appreciated. Thanks.

[[fr...]]

  Hang on Gilly, it always gets better for you, remember that.  I never feel better, only worse and worse so those windows you get are a blessing.  Love to you. ❤️💕❤️💕💋

[[Sc...]]

Does anyone k now if benzo withdrawal causes chills/goosbumps? I’ve been sick with sinus infection, forever, but stopped antibiotics a few days ago, but still feel sick(no fever) but I noticed the other day after I regretfully drank regular coffee, trying to wake up, that in addition to sobbing more, I first started out feeling goose bumps post coffee.

 

Second, I’ve had long term treatment resistant depression, but Ive been taking clonazapam for 9 years & my depression really took a nosedive after the teva crossover a few months back into suicidal ideation, that comes & goes & depression has just has stayed worse since then. That coincided with, When I had to travel to see in-law family I hadn’t seen in years(because my depression & anxiety & dysfunction is so bad that avoid all holidays etc-it’s truly awful), & also had to take many trips to my out of town nuerologist. Thus all these different med trials & failures. Benzo taper went to back burner.

 

I just felt & maybe still do that there is no way I’m going to make it through this taper within depression & my life is just passing me by, I’m just existing, not living. I do NOT want to try anymore antidepressants(over 20 years, failed, made worse, side effects, withdrawal if they sorta worked, but really non of them work anymore, only 2 ever gave partial relief & ive pretty much tried them all) Now I’m thinking, maybe at least part of my current worse that ever depression(Xanax withdrawal aside) is due to benzos daily for 9 years & my astronomical daily dose. I’m really desperate to get better & be able to at least see my family & enjoy things, anything. My point, has anyone ever heard of or have any knowledge of going inpatient long term to be helped properly off of benzos? Not someplace that’s going to give me antidepressants, but monitoring, & safety & help getting off without it being a detox center type of situation?

 

My other thoughts are on TMS, therapy, of course, & I’ve been very interested in ketamine treatment for depression.

 

Hi Mary.

 

Oh & how am I going to taper this solco clonazapam, if I stay on that generic & cant cut it? I tried my second actavis dose last eve & it oversedated & I got nauseous (which the nausea could be from Xanax withdrawal, mucinex, or the actavis)again & I don’t think I should rock the CNS boat right now, but I’m stuck with these actavis for at least part of my dose for rest of month till. It’s disappoint that I disapointing & frustrating I don’t have a pill I can dry cut....

 

Thoughts? Thanks

[[4G...]]

Oh, free, Thank you. And I didn't put you on the list! I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.  Gilly xxx

[[Sc...]]

Gilly, thanks for the greeting. I think I know what you mean by dark thoughts. An you try & watch a comedy movie or distract yourself in some other way. Sit outside for a bit. I’ve been suffering for so long that I do know those dark moments can make it seem like we will never see the light, but you will. I have over & over again from this is it to ok it’s not great, but I’m going to survive. I empathize & wish you better thoughts.XX💕

[[4G...]]

Thanks so much Scaredie. I'm out of bed and watching a tv quiz. I've just managed to do the washing up. Now I'm stuck back on the sofa again. Boyfriend should be back in an hour. Just holding on.

Love Gilly xxx 💟💟💟

[[4G...]]

Scaredie, A couple of things. Yes, benzo w/d can cause chills. It can make you feel hot and sweaty too. Basically, it throws your temperature out of control. I don't think it's anything worth worrying about.

 

Secondly, inpatient therapy is something I've heard nothing good about. Bearing in mind that recovering from this can take years, there is nowhere that would take you for that long. They tend to take you in, put you on a collection of drugs and then chuck you out. It could well make you worse.

 

Sorry to say that. A lot of people think inpatient would help. We are so desperate that we want to try anything. But it isn't the solution.

 

Hope you feel better soon.

 

Gilly xxx

[[Ma...]]

Hi All. I am going through the wringer again. Don't know how I can carry on feeling like this. Still, I see many of us are going through a bad time. Stut, Trishy, Espy, Cant, Scaredie. Hope you all feel better soon. Mary, I hope you are okay. You do well running the group. I'm having the very dark thoughts again. If anyone can give any encouragement then that would be really appreciated. Thanks.

 

You know I am here for you English.  I hate that  you had just fixed one thing just to have the wrong brand dispensed.  Have you talked to you pharmacist about a way to make sure it doesn't happen again.  Didn't you or somebody say if the Dr writs a specific brand, the pharmacist has to fill it that way?  I can understand you having dark thoughts, this has been such a long horrible road for you.  You make it through every time though.  You are so much stronger than you realize.  You are funny and smart and we need you.  Please hold tight, it will pass.  I am here and if I am not , I am taking a nap but will be back .  You are my friend English.  Please take care of yourself.  Love you, Mary

Pets and love to Tilly always . 🐱🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾.        🐝🌺🌼🌻🍄🌷🦋

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Sc...]]

Thank you Gilly, for your answers. I’m so glad you got up and around & are feeling better.

Now I’m sinking into a sob fest. Probably need to get off here.

Mary, Gilly, all should I just stay on the solco clonazapam for now, even though I can’t dry cut it & have no idea how I’ll taper it when the time comes.😭😭😭

 

Mary, I feel like I’ve offended you. I’m so sorry, if I did. I’m just super struggling, looking for answers & just barely hanging on.

 

All, I didn’t shower yesterday or today, yet... I have to do these daily nasal rinses due to a bad sinus surgery & then go shower & inject ms med. can decaf coffee increase depression & anxiety? I can’t pull out of the sobbing. Gonna go. If you pray please pray for me...hopelessness has overcome me. I’m feeling really bi polar right now, that’s why I ask about the decaf.

 

Xxxxx

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Does anyone k now if benzo withdrawal causes chills/goosbumps? I’ve been sick with sinus infection, forever, but stopped antibiotics a few days ago, but still feel sick(no fever) but I noticed the other day after I regretfully drank regular coffee, trying to wake up, that in addition to sobbing more, I first started out feeling goose bumps post coffee.

 

Second, I’ve had long term treatment resistant depression, but Ive been taking clonazapam for 9 years & my depression really took a nosedive after the teva crossover a few months back into suicidal ideation, that comes & goes & depression has just has stayed worse since then. That coincided with, When I had to travel to see in-law family I hadn’t seen in years(because my depression & anxiety & dysfunction is so bad that avoid all holidays etc-it’s truly awful), & also had to take many trips to my out of town nuerologist. Thus all these different med trials & failures. Benzo taper went to back burner.

 

I just felt & maybe still do that there is no way I’m going to make it through this taper within depression & my life is just passing me by, I’m just existing, not living. I do NOT want to try anymore antidepressants(over 20 years, failed, made worse, side effects, withdrawal if they sorta worked, but really non of them work anymore, only 2 ever gave partial relief & ive pretty much tried them all) Now I’m thinking, maybe at least part of my current worse that ever depression(Xanax withdrawal aside) is due to benzos daily for 9 years & my astronomical daily dose. I’m really desperate to get better & be able to at least see my family & enjoy things, anything. My point, has anyone ever heard of or have any knowledge of going inpatient long term to be helped properly off of benzos? Not someplace that’s going to give me antidepressants, but monitoring, & safety & help getting off without it being a detox center type of situation?

 

My other thoughts are on TMS, therapy, of course, & I’ve been very interested in ketamine treatment for depression.

 

Hi Mary.

 

Oh & how am I going to taper this solco clonazapam, if I stay on that generic & cant cut it? I tried my second actavis dose last eve & it oversedated & I got nauseous (which the nausea could be from Xanax withdrawal, mucinex, or the actavis)again & I don’t think I should rock the CNS boat right now, but I’m stuck with these actavis for at least part of my dose for rest of month till. It’s disappoint that I disapointing & frustrating I don’t have a pill I can dry cut....

 

Thoughts? Thanks

 

Well, I wouldn't worry too much about the goose bumps.  I had ad's years ago, could never tell they worked, quit taking them.  If you are on them now, don't change anything, benzo is first priority. 

Scardie, you have to stop changing your meds , period.  Can you get your Dr to prescribe the generic you want now?  Slowly change from one generic to the one you want to taper .  Stay on that one til you are stable. 

You can find a rehab that you can negotiate your own taper.  Probably the longest they would keep you is 90 days.  Tell them and make sure it is written and signed by you and rehab, you will only take the meds you are on the day you go in.  It will cost a lot of money. 

2 days of a benzo does not mean your body will not adapt to it.  I have been taking Valium over a year, it makes me feel sedated and a little dizzy everyday, my muscles are killing me, but I am down from what amounted to 40 mgs of Valium to 10.56.  Because I kept on the same meds and put up with feeling like crap.  That's how we get through, .  It's how you are going to have to get through.

It sucks, but you have to listen and take control.  You can do this, but you have to stop, thinking and changing things, as long as you do, you will get worse and make no progress.  I am sorry to be so blunt, I want you to hear me.  We care about you and we keep trying to help, but you don't listen.  We aren't Dr 's but we have a lot of experience.  Get out a notebook and look slowly at your history and compare it to our advice.  Almost all our advice is close to the same.  How does your history look?

Now jump in there, and take control.  You have too, no one can do this for you.  Love you, now you have work to do.  Mary 💜

 

[[Ma...]]

Thank you Gilly, for your answers. I’m so glad you got up and around & are feeling better.

Now I’m sinking into a sob fest. Probably need to get off here.

Mary, Gilly, all should I just stay on the solco clonazapam for now, even though I can’t dry cut it & have no idea how I’ll taper it when the time comes.😭😭😭

 

Mary, I feel like I’ve offended you. I’m so sorry, if I did. I’m just super struggling, looking for answers & just barely hanging on.

 

All, I didn’t shower yesterday or today, yet... I have to do these daily nasal rinses due to a bad sinus surgery & then go shower & inject ms med. can decaf coffee increase depression & anxiety? I can’t pull out of the sobbing. Gonna go. If you pray please pray for me...hopelessness has overcome me. I’m feeling really bi polar right now, that’s why I ask about the decaf.

 

Xxxxx

 

No , it won't depress you and you haven't offended me.  It hurts me that you don't allow us to help Scardie 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Everyone..

 

SC, Good to see you here again, but sorry things are complicated and your suffering...

For what its worth, I just did a straight CO on another med and it sure rattled me.. I cant do a slow CO on this one, so my only real option other than suffering through would be to increase the new med until I found some stability... -But I feel that that dose, if even possible, would be a lot higher than acceptable or practical... I dont know if this would be the case for you, -I just hope you feel better asap...

Sorry, realy I just wanted to say HI, and send you strength...

 

Gilly, You also... Damn the brand changes... Who would have thought (if it wasnt so common here)...!!

Hope you see better days real soon too...

 

**

Bbl with any luck, but for now my head says -go back to bed and shut those eyes... (light is stabbing my brain)..

  Oh Can't l wish you could catch a break.l wish we could help more but sadly time is the only thing that will help.When is the memorial? I think it is this weekend?l know this is going to take a lot of effort on your part however know that we will all be thinking about you and willing you on.

  Thinking of you mate always.

  Love and hugs Stut X

Im predicting a window..

I ended up having a pretty good 8 hrs today, so that was a help...

 

I do hope you get some time with your daughter over easter... You seem to have so much to contend with much of the time...

 

 

[[Ca...]]

Hi Everyone,

So much going on here..!  Wish I had wise words.. but the best I GOT is -Step by step, ever forwards...

 

I realy feel for all of you that suffer, -I wish it were easier and healing more consistent...

 

Cheering you all on...

 

 

[[4G...]]

Scaredie, You need to decide which drug you are going to take and then stick with it. That's all Mary is saying. If it's Klonopin then decide how you want to taper. Have you considered dlmt? Please don't take a bit of this and a bit of that. You need to settle on one thing and stay there.

 

Did you say you have MS? My Dad had that. When were you diagnosed? Professor Ashton found that some people were diagnosed with MS but it was really benzo withdrawal. I'm not saying that will happen to you, but it's worth bearing in mind.

 

Love, Gilly x

[[Sc...]]

Does anyone k now if benzo withdrawal causes chills/goosbumps? I’ve been sick with sinus infection, forever, but stopped antibiotics a few days ago, but still feel sick(no fever) but I noticed the other day after I regretfully drank regular coffee, trying to wake up, that in addition to sobbing more, I first started out feeling goose bumps post coffee.

 

Second, I’ve had long term treatment resistant depression, but Ive been taking clonazapam for 9 years & my depression really took a nosedive after the teva crossover a few months back into suicidal ideation, that comes & goes & depression has just has stayed worse since then. That coincided with, When I had to travel to see in-law family I hadn’t seen in years(because my depression & anxiety & dysfunction is so bad that avoid all holidays etc-it’s truly awful), & also had to take many trips to my out of town nuerologist. Thus all these different med trials & failures. Benzo taper went to back burner.

 

I just felt & maybe still do that there is no way I’m going to make it through this taper within depression & my life is just passing me by, I’m just existing, not living. I do NOT want to try anymore antidepressants(over 20 years, failed, made worse, side effects, withdrawal if they sorta worked, but really non of them work anymore, only 2 ever gave partial relief & ive pretty much tried them all) Now I’m thinking, maybe at least part of my current worse that ever depression(Xanax withdrawal aside) is due to benzos daily for 9 years & my astronomical daily dose. I’m really desperate to get better & be able to at least see my family & enjoy things, anything. My point, has anyone ever heard of or have any knowledge of going inpatient long term to be helped properly off of benzos? Not someplace that’s going to give me antidepressants, but monitoring, & safety & help getting off without it being a detox center type of situation?

 

My other thoughts are on TMS, therapy, of course, & I’ve been very interested in ketamine treatment for depression.

 

Hi Mary.

 

Oh & how am I going to taper this solco clonazapam, if I stay on that generic & cant cut it? I tried my second actavis dose last eve & it oversedated & I got nauseous (which the nausea could be from Xanax withdrawal, mucinex, or the actavis)again & I don’t think I should rock the CNS boat right now, but I’m stuck with these actavis for at least part of my dose for rest of month till. It’s disappoint that I disapointing & frustrating I don’t have a pill I can dry cut....

 

Thoughts? Thanks

 

Well, I wouldn't worry too much about the goose bumps.  I had ad's years ago, could never tell they worked, quit taking them.  If you are on them now, don't change anything, benzo is first priority

Scardie, you have to stop changing your meds , period.  Can you get your Dr to prescribe the generic you want now?  Slowly change from one generic to the one you want to taper .  Stay on that one til you are stable.  [Mary, thank you I’m sorry if I’m not thinking clearly & it’s hard for me to communicate in text sometimes. So ,no, I’m not on any antidepressants or other meds aside from if I have to take mucinex or antihistamines for upper respiratory stuff. I’m going to try to clarify what I’m saying/asking & gain clarity on your advice.

 

My current pharmacy is willing to sub in the other generic that I thought may be easier to taper from(simply because it may dry cut easier), just by my requesting that part of script is filled with a certain amount of each generic. That’s what they did for my last/current fill. They subbed in 30 Actavis out of total 240 .5mg clonazapam & filled 210 Solco for the rest of my clonazapam monthly fill.

 

The only reason I want to consider changing to Actavis is because it may be easier to more accurately dry cut for larger dose reductions than the solco, not because I like the actavis better. I just practiced on one of each & I suppose, depending on the pill cutter it’s close tie in accuracy & maybe ease of cutting each. I’m already adapted to the Solco from last crossover. Given that & all the changes I’ve had over the past few months & how bad I’m feeling(think it’s day4-5 no xanax), I wasn’t clear on your opinion on if I should just stick with Solco or keep trying to crossover to actavis? As had the impression, that you thought I should not make any generic changes right now after Xanax, so as not to further upset CNS. I am stuck with the 30 actavis for the rest of this month.

Sorry, I hadn’t tried that pill cutter on the softer solco, that typically crumbles, still actavis may be easier to cut? Feel too unwell to gage, havnt played around with that much.

 

Do people on here, in this group, typically dry cut? Dlmt? Use scales? Sorry, I see what your saying about subbing in, but I don’t want to destabilize further by trying crossover, yet want to do what I must for long run too. I’m having much difficulty making decisions. Given what I’ve just written, what would you do? Stay on one already adapted to, but may be harder to dry cut or try for another crossover that may dry cut easier, but may put you into further suffering & instability? 

 

/color]

You can find a rehab that you can negotiate your own taper.  Probably the longest they would keep you is 90 days.  Tell them and make sure it is written and signed by you and rehab, you will only take the meds you are on the day you go in.  It will cost a lot of money.  Thanks for the info on the rehab. Much to keep in mind. I wouldn’t be considering it if I hadn’t been sick for so long & also having much pressure put on me to get better.

2 days of a benzo does not mean your body will not adapt to it.  I have been taking Valium over a year, it makes me feel sedated and a little dizzy everyday, my muscles are killing me, but I am down from what amounted to 40 mgs of Valium to 10.56.  Because I kept on the same meds and put up with feeling like crap.  That's how we get through, .  It's how you are going to have to get through.

It sucks, but you have to listen and take control.  You can do this, but you have to stop, thinking and changing things, as long as you do, you will get worse and make no progress.  Im sorry Valium has been so hard on you. Your a champ for sticking to it with feeling bad for that long. We’re you always on Valium or did you crossover from Xanax, I thought? Sorry can’t see sig right now. Are you taking liquid Valium? If so is prescribed or compounded liquid?I am sorry to be so blunt, I want you to hear me.  We care about you and we keep trying to help, but you don't listen.  We aren't Dr 's but we have a lot of experience.  Thank you for caring & I’m sorry it seems I didn’t listen. I did choose solco as you all instructed, instead of actavis when teva was discontinued, as I couldn’t decide which one at that time either. But did go off the beaten path in the mean time doing what I thought would ultimately make me higher functioning or what I felt I had to do to survive @ the time. It was not out of lack of respect for the knowledge & experience shared here. One last question, does benzo withdrawal cause random sobbing meltdowns out of the blue that feel like the end of the world, including suicidal ideation? And then the sobbing can stop minutes to an hour later & everything isn’t ok, but one can regain a sense of hope again? If so, how long should one wait for such sxs to abate before commencing a taper? Does tolerance cause that too? Same with the fatigue, it’s hard for me to know because ms, depression, benzos can cause it. Does withdrawal cause it? Tolerance? How does one know if they are in tolerance? Thank you Love you too💕Get out a notebook and look slowly at your history and compare it to our advice.  Almost all our advice is close to the same.  How does your history look?

Now jump in there, and take control.  You have too, no one can do this for you.  Love you, now you have work to do.  Mary

Thank you, Mary.

[[4G...]]

Yes, Scaredie. Sobbing meltdowns and suicidal ideation is where I'm at today. I've done all I had to do today so now I'm resting in bed with my darling cat. Love, Gilly xxx

[[Sc...]]

Thank you for the answer Gilly. Glad your resting. Did you have depression prior to benzos? Be well

[[Sc...]]

Scaredie, You need to decide which drug you are going to take and then stick with it. That's all Mary is saying. If it's Klonopin then decide how you want to taper. Have you considered dlmt? Please don't take a bit of this and a bit of that. You need to settle on one thing and stay there.

 

Did you say you have MS? My Dad had that. When were you diagnosed? Professor Ashton found that some people were diagnosed with MS but it was really benzo withdrawal. I'm not saying that will happen to you, but it's worth bearing in mind.

 

Love, Gilly x

Thanks Gilly,

I’m sticking with clonazapam/klonopin. Use trying to decide on which generic manufacturer of klonopin.

Yes I have ms. 3 opinions. Diagnosed 2017. Last one by one of leading ms specialist in us.....I’ve been mri, spinal tap, blood labs...I wish it wasn’t so, just one more issue, but depression is my worst beast

 

I’m open to all types of tapering just don’t know how to do them. And thinking, I presume I should hold right now as am no doubt in Xanax withdrawal?

XX