The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

D, what is your current dose of V? Are you lower than a milligram of Xanax?

 

I am at 10.56 V.  1 mg of X =20 mg of V

So in Xanax that's about a half milligram??

 

Yes, a little more than .5 x

So how long did it take to get from 15V to where you are now?

.

 

You see I went to fast, held and updose, without researching I wouldn't say 7 or 8 months, then all the holding through the eye procedures.  If I had known better I would be a lot farther along but it is what it is, I have gone down 3/4 of the way and going to go really slow to see if I can get pain out of my back like during my window 

But that's awesome D! Why am I going so slow.. Oh yeah I'm on the mother of all Benzos 😔.. :tickedoff:

I'm looking at a two year benzo taper sentence, around that I figure..uhggggggvvvvvvgggghg

[[Tr...]]

My daughter's mother in law takes 1mg of K and 3 different anti depressants, she's a 2nd grade teacher and she's 58 yrs old. She was told by her psychiatrist that Klonopin isn't working for her anymore and she's going to have to taper off, she took 3 weeks off from work but I don't think that's going to be long enough. She's crying and shaking and she didn't even start yet! She's terrified I think with good reason. I feel sorry for her, she's in for a rude awakening. I'd suggest benzo buddies for support but we are not all that friendly, yes that's how I'll put it lol!!

[[Ma...]]

D, what is your current dose of V? Are you lower than a milligram of Xanax?

 

I am at 10.56 V.  1 mg of X =20 mg of V

So in Xanax that's about a half milligram??

 

Yes, a little more than .5 x

So how long did it take to get from 15V to where you are now?

.

 

You see I went to fast, held and updose, without researching I wouldn't say 7 or 8 months, then all the holding through the eye procedures.  If I had known better I would be a lot farther along but it is what it is, I have gone down 3/4 of the way and going to go really slow to see if I can get pain out of my back like during my window 

But that's awesome D! Why am I going so slow.. Oh yeah I'm on the mother of all Benzos 😔.. :tickedoff:

I'm looking at a two year benzo taper sentence, around that I figure..uhggggggvvvvvvgggghg

 

But if you could find a way to feel decent as you tapered, why care how long it takes?  You are much more able to get out and about than me, so you just need to find the key so you don't run into problems.

[[Ma...]]

My daughter's mother in law takes 1mg of K and 3 different anti depressants, she's a 2nd grade teacher and she's 58 yrs old. She was told by her psychiatrist that Klonopin isn't working for her anymore and she's going to have to taper off, she took 3 weeks off from work but I don't think that's going to be long enough. She's crying and shaking and she didn't even start yet! She's terrified I think with good reason. I feel sorry for her, she's in for a rude awakening. I'd suggest benzo buddies for support but we are not all that friendly, yes that's how I'll put it lol!!

 

I am sorry but you need to help her.  She is getting ready to half kill her self because of her stupid ass Dr.  Get your butt over there or call her.  You step up and be there for her.  Seriously

[[Tr...]]

D, what is your current dose of V? Are you lower than a milligram of Xanax?

 

I am at 10.56 V.  1 mg of X =20 mg of V

So in Xanax that's about a half milligram??

 

Yes, a little more than .5 x

So how long did it take to get from 15V to where you are now?

.

 

You see I went to fast, held and updose, without researching I wouldn't say 7 or 8 months, then all the holding through the eye procedures.  If I had known better I would be a lot farther along but it is what it is, I have gone down 3/4 of the way and going to go really slow to see if I can get pain out of my back like during my window 

But that's awesome D! Why am I going so slow.. Oh yeah I'm on the mother of all Benzos 😔.. :tickedoff:

I'm looking at a two year benzo taper sentence, around that I figure..uhggggggvvvvvvgggghg

 

But if you could find a way to feel decent as you tapered, why care how long it takes?  You are much more able to get out and about than me, so you just need to find the key so you don't run into problems.

 

The only reason I care about the time line is bc of what the former Dr did to me. I was completely blindsided. Like you I took my xanax as prescribed by him and did as I was told and then out of the blue he went from " you have to take this for the rest of your life" to " you have to get off this medication "..

And stupid me didn't know about benzo wd and I was perplexed by his 180 turn around and said " ok' if that's what you think. He then as I've mentioned before many times told me to reduce by a half milligram every two weeks and I became very ill. I remember I started the next day tapering and I dropped my first .25 mgs and I thought I'll drop another. 25 mgs in a week and that'll be my . 5 done in two weeks. Well the rest is history but it's burned in my brain. I definitely have some PTSD from that experience, I live in fear that something will happen to my now Dr or he'll change his mind on how long it should take me instead of allowing me to control my taper.. Maybe he'll want to control it. I know these are what if' s but it's a nagging worry I can't shake.

Sorry for the long ramble

[[Tr...]]

My daughter's mother in law takes 1mg of K and 3 different anti depressants, she's a 2nd grade teacher and she's 58 yrs old. She was told by her psychiatrist that Klonopin isn't working for her anymore and she's going to have to taper off, she took 3 weeks off from work but I don't think that's going to be long enough. She's crying and shaking and she didn't even start yet! She's terrified I think with good reason. I feel sorry for her, she's in for a rude awakening. I'd suggest benzo buddies for support but we are not all that friendly, yes that's how I'll put it lol!!

 

I am sorry but you need to help her.  She is getting ready to half kill her self because of her stupid ass Dr.  Get your butt over there or call her.  You step up and be there for her.  Seriously

D , she's the meanest woman and has done hateful things to me bc she's jealous of me..I didn't want to get into all that ugliness but I already gave her a lot of information through my daughter. She knows all about me and my experience which is why I think she's scared. I doubt she'd even come to benzo buddies for help even if she were dying.

[[Ma...]]

D, what is your current dose of V? Are you lower than a milligram of Xanax?

 

I am at 10.56 V.  1 mg of X =20 mg of V

So in Xanax that's about a half milligram??

 

Yes, a little more than .5 x

So how long did it take to get from 15V to where you are now?

.

 

You see I went to fast, held and updose, without researching I wouldn't say 7 or 8 months, then all the holding through the eye procedures.  If I had known better I would be a lot farther along but it is what it is, I have gone down 3/4 of the way and going to go really slow to see if I can get pain out of my back like during my window 

But that's awesome D! Why am I going so slow.. Oh yeah I'm on the mother of all Benzos 😔.. :tickedoff:

I'm looking at a two year benzo taper sentence, around that I figure..uhggggggvvvvvvgggghg

 

But if you could find a way to feel decent as you tapered, why care how long it takes?  You are much more able to get out and about than me, so you just need to find the key so you don't run into problems.

 

The only reason I care about the time line is bc of what the former Dr did to me. I was completely blindsided. Like you I took my xanax as prescribed by him and did as I was told and then out of the blue he went from " you have to take this for the rest of your life" to " you have to get off this medication "..

And stupid me didn't know about benzo wd and I was perplexed by his 180 turn around and said " ok' if that's what you think. He then as I've mentioned before many times told me to reduce by a half milligram every two weeks and I became very ill. I remember I started the next day tapering and I dropped my first .25 mgs and I thought I'll drop another. 25 mgs in a week and that'll be my . 5 done in two weeks. Well the rest is history but it's burned in my brain. I definitely have some PTSD from that experience, I live in fear that something will happen to my now Dr or he'll change his mind on how long it should take me instead of allowing me to control my taper.. Maybe he'll want to control it. I know these are what if' s but it's a nagging worry I can't shake.

Sorry for the long ramble

 

Do you use your whole refill each time?  I have almost a whole refill saved for the just in cases.  I understand your fear,  anyway you can hoard?

[[Ma...]]

My daughter's mother in law takes 1mg of K and 3 different anti depressants, she's a 2nd grade teacher and she's 58 yrs old. She was told by her psychiatrist that Klonopin isn't working for her anymore and she's going to have to taper off, she took 3 weeks off from work but I don't think that's going to be long enough. She's crying and shaking and she didn't even start yet! She's terrified I think with good reason. I feel sorry for her, she's in for a rude awakening. I'd suggest benzo buddies for support but we are not all that friendly, yes that's how I'll put it lol!!

 

 

I am sorry for whatever she has done to you.  This is your husband's mother Trishy.  You can try, I will be very proud of you for reaching out.  If she turns you away, so be it.  But you need to try.  How much easier it would have been on us if we had someone like us to help us in the very beginning.  It would have made a world of difference.  I am not saying anything else, but it's hard for me to believe you wouldn't try. 

I am sorry but you need to help her.  She is getting ready to half kill her self because of her stupid ass Dr.  Get your butt over there or call her.  You step up and be there for her.  Seriously

D , she's the meanest woman and has done hateful things to me bc she's jealous of me..I didn't want to get into all that ugliness but I already gave her a lot of information through my daughter. She knows all about me and my experience which is why I think she's scared. I doubt she'd even come to benzo buddies for help even if she were dying.

[[Tr...]]

D, what is your current dose of V? Are you lower than a milligram of Xanax?

 

I am at 10.56 V.  1 mg of X =20 mg of V

So in Xanax that's about a half milligram??

 

Yes, a little more than .5 x

So how long did it take to get from 15V to where you are now?

.

 

You see I went to fast, held and updose, without researching I wouldn't say 7 or 8 months, then all the holding through the eye procedures.  If I had known better I would be a lot farther along but it is what it is, I have gone down 3/4 of the way and going to go really slow to see if I can get pain out of my back like during my window 

But that's awesome D! Why am I going so slow.. Oh yeah I'm on the mother of all Benzos 😔.. :tickedoff:

I'm looking at a two year benzo taper sentence, around that I figure..uhggggggvvvvvvgggghg

 

But if you could find a way to feel decent as you tapered, why care how long it takes?  You are much more able to get out and about than me, so you just need to find the key so you don't run into problems.

 

The only reason I care about the time line is bc of what the former Dr did to me. I was completely blindsided. Like you I took my xanax as prescribed by him and did as I was told and then out of the blue he went from " you have to take this for the rest of your life" to " you have to get off this medication "..

And stupid me didn't know about benzo wd and I was perplexed by his 180 turn around and said " ok' if that's what you think. He then as I've mentioned before many times told me to reduce by a half milligram every two weeks and I became very ill. I remember I started the next day tapering and I dropped my first .25 mgs and I thought I'll drop another. 25 mgs in a week and that'll be my . 5 done in two weeks. Well the rest is history but it's burned in my brain. I definitely have some PTSD from that experience, I live in fear that something will happen to my now Dr or he'll change his mind on how long it should take me instead of allowing me to control my taper.. Maybe he'll want to control it. I know these are what if' s but it's a nagging worry I can't shake.

Sorry for the long ramble

 

Do you use your whole refill each time?  I have almost a whole refill saved for the just in cases.  I understand your fear,  anyway you can hoard?

Yes, when I self tapered myself from 3 mgs to two I didn't tell my Dr and I saved the pills. My biggest fear was having a seizure coming off and that was all I thought could happen, I was clueless about the wd. I'm also saving now, for different reasons then before, out of fear of being pushed off. I have enough for about 2 months but that doesn't give me much comfort and I wonder if the older pills are still good??

[[Ma...]]

It has been many months since I've been on BB. I think about it often but life has been really crazy. Just as I started to get back into posting my MIL passed away and things have been really rough. I held from October through February and then did a couple of tiny tapers but ended up in a bad wave so I stopped. Then low and behold a lovely window did appear. I decided to make a cut, which I don't usually do. I wanted to get to 1mg of clonazepam. I've been aiming for it since November of 2016 when I first started tapering. So cut I did. Now back to holding. If not for this long hold support group I don't know what I would have done. I do miss the fun we used to have.

 

I did a 3% cut, I know it was still small but for me it was huge. I made the cut on March 23 and I've been holding since then. The symptoms have been up and down. Riding the waves as we all do. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to try another DLMT or another cut for my next adventure. Right now I'm holding until everything calms down so I have a lot of time to decide. Hopefully I'll feel better for my anniversary. I should, it's a little over a month from now.

 

MiYu, I'm sorry to hear you are in pain. I'm glad some of the emotional sxs have gotten better though. I do miss talking with you. I don't know if I ever found out how you decided to proceed with your taper. I've been gone sooo long.

 

Can't I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time too. We just need to surf those waves until we reach that calm area. Surfing at least sounds fun.......How is the weather down under?

 

My brain really isn't working very well right now. I've had a really rough day. I hope everyone can find some peace today.

 

Big hugs,

 

T

 

Hey T and welcome back.  This is a great group  and you already know a lot of the people.  Hope to see you posting more .  Mary 💜

[[Tr...]]

D, that woman is my daughter's mother in law and I've given her all the information. She knows my story and she knows how sick I was and she knows every sx and the torture. I am trying to tell you that I have reached out to her, I just didn't invite her to join the club here so to speak. You should know me better D, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and she's pretty close. I don't even know how her Dr plans to taper her, she hasn't given me that information. I don't think she wants my help or anything from me for that matter, but should she need me for help I would in no way turn her away. I am not the kind of person who could turn a blind eye to someone else's pain. I hope that clears this up. You know me by now..

[[Ma...]]

D, that woman is my daughter's mother in law and I've given her all the information. She knows my story and she knows how sick I was and she knows every sx and the torture. I am trying to tell you that I have reached out to her, I just didn't invite her to join the club here so to speak. You should know me better D, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and she's pretty close. I don't even know how her Dr plans to taper her, she hasn't given me that information. I don't think she wants my help or anything from me for that matter, but should she need me for help I would in no way turn her away. I am not the kind of person who could turn a blind eye to someone else's pain. I hope that clears this up. You know me by now..

 

Ok, no that isn't how it came across.  So I apologize 

[[Tr...]]

D, that woman is my daughter's mother in law and I've given her all the information. She knows my story and she knows how sick I was and she knows every sx and the torture. I am trying to tell you that I have reached out to her, I just didn't invite her to join the club here so to speak. You should know me better D, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and she's pretty close. I don't even know how her Dr plans to taper her, she hasn't given me that information. I don't think she wants my help or anything from me for that matter, but should she need me for help I would in no way turn her away. I am not the kind of person who could turn a blind eye to someone else's pain. I hope that clears this up. You know me by now..

 

Ok, no that isn't how it came across.  So I apologize 

Oh no don't be sorry, I can see why you'd get upset. Benzo wd has hurt all of us and other than needing support for ourselves, not wanting anyone else to suffer from this is pretty much why were all here right?

So it's all good D.. No worries if I can help her I will that's a promise.

[[Tr...]]

Well it's after 8 and there's work for me tomorrow so I'm going to watch TV for awhile before bed.

 

Good night D and all the LHSG.. T hello to you, I don't think we've met but I hope you hang around 🙂

 

Love to all,

Trish ❤️

[[Ma...]]

Well it's after 8 and there's work for me tomorrow so I'm going to watch TV for awhile before bed.

 

Good night D and all the LHSG.. T hello to you, I don't think we've met but I hope you hang around 🙂

 

Love to all,

Trish ❤️

 

Night night Trishy 💜💜💜💜

[[Ma...]]

Night LHSG, sleep well .  MaryM

[[4G...]]

Hi All. Just popping in to say I'm going through a wave right now and that's why I've been quiet. My eyesight is particularly bad this time. I have some tinnitus. But I don't mind that too much because it's just confirming that I'm in a wave and it will pass. Love and Hugs.  Gilly xxx 💟💟💟

[[In...]]

Hey all.

 

I did go to the movies with Dan. We saw the Best of Enemies with Tara P. Henson and Sam Rockwell, and then took care of Mary’s cats.

 

And we’ve been channel hopping on the TV. We have Dish and HBO is in a dispute with them for like 6 months now. So no HBO for us.

 

Direct tv has been in a dispute with NBC, but they just got that settled so we’re ubdecided about switching to them.

 

And xfinity has a very bad reputation around here. We tried them 2 years ago, and they installed everything wrong and sent a huge bill. I complained to the corporate headquarters and ended up getting 123 $ back after I thought they owed us nothing. But they figured it out right they said. So I cashed the check.

 

I found this website that has all the information for all the cable and satellite companies we can get around here with a central number to call, so I guess I’ll give them a call.

 

Goodnight everyone. Sleep tight.

 

[[St...]]

Hope everyone is doing better 

Anxiety left me for 4 days . I felt great !

Now it's back 

Hi Prozac survivor,

Right there with you with the up n down thing...

The good days are great, but the return of sx then feel that bit worse...

 

Do you have many windows..??

 

**

Hi Everyone... -just a quick drop in...

  I am doing a quick drop in myself Can't are you still in a wave? I am in the no emotion crap at the moment not pleasant.Motivation zero but it will pass.l hate this crap but it will pass at some stage.

  I hope you had a better day my love and slept ok?

  Love and hugs Stut X

Ooops... Sent this last night, but it didnt go through... Anyways, looks like another day of it..

 

Hey Stut,

Yup, dinner is nearly up here... love my kids..!! -if they couldnt cook they would be kuput..!!

 

You sound kinda like me... woke better but it didnt last, infact it seems it kept getting better and went bad in the opposite way, if that makes sense... from fatigue type to ramped up anxiety and jittery...

Why... -only a guess, but for the first time in months yesterday I took magnesium/calcium, vit D, Curicumin... Never noticed much of an effect before though, oh, and I take the D more often though...

Anyways I took it again today before i clicked (as I got even worse)..

Its dark now, and a bit better as usual...

A whole range of sx though, from sweats and sneezes, to -well all of it..

Feeling real guilty around the kids and tried to force myself into the tractor for a while.. -got as far as getting my shoes on...

 

Not complaining, -just keeping it real... Most ofte I just want to ignore my whole SX situation and profile...

 

I relate to what you mentioned for Bills GI... (if he wants to discuss..? )

 

Sorry, Dinner n movie time...

 

Hope you feel better super star Stut..

 

  Evening Can't at least you got your shoes on maybe next time you will get to the door it all adds up.l think you and me are kinda having the same symptoms l even had the overheating yesterday oh that was a treat.l am so bloody detached and yet the only thing l am not detached from is the acute anxiety.Oh well no one ever said it was going to be easy.

  Glad to hear you are getting fed l know they can do your head in but cooking is a bonus.As you always say mate step by step.We will beat the buggers.

I hope the wave ends soon and you get some relief you deserve it.Keep us updated my love and don't disappear on us.

  Love to you our hero.

Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

It has been many months since I've been on BB. I think about it often but life has been really crazy. Just as I started to get back into posting my MIL passed away and things have been really rough. I held from October through February and then did a couple of tiny tapers but ended up in a bad wave so I stopped. Then low and behold a lovely window did appear. I decided to make a cut, which I don't usually do. I wanted to get to 1mg of clonazepam. I've been aiming for it since November of 2016 when I first started tapering. So cut I did. Now back to holding. If not for this long hold support group I don't know what I would have done. I do miss the fun we used to have.

 

I did a 3% cut, I know it was still small but for me it was huge. I made the cut on March 23 and I've been holding since then. The symptoms have been up and down. Riding the waves as we all do. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to try another DLMT or another cut for my next adventure. Right now I'm holding until everything calms down so I have a lot of time to decide. Hopefully I'll feel better for my anniversary. I should, it's a little over a month from now.

 

MiYu, I'm sorry to hear you are in pain. I'm glad some of the emotional sxs have gotten better though. I do miss talking with you. I don't know if I ever found out how you decided to proceed with your taper. I've been gone sooo long.

 

Can't I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time too. We just need to surf those waves until we reach that calm area. Surfing at least sounds fun.......How is the weather down under?

 

My brain really isn't working very well right now. I've had a really rough day. I hope everyone can find some peace today.

 

Big hugs,

 

T

  Welcome back T sorry to hear about your mil life is hard and it's doesn't stop when we are tapering so we do what we can.Miyu drops in every so often and as you can see Can't is still with us.You will soon get to know us as there is so few of us.Looking forward to getting to know you.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Morning Trish l am a little confused are you now wanting to get off .5mgs of Xanax before next year?l thought it was.25mgs.Now imo l think 0.25mgs is doable however 0.5mgs is pushing it a bit.

  I know you will do what you want to do however l will remind you that you need to stay functional as you are working etc.Now could you perhaps speak to your GP and see if he would write in your notes that you are to have control of your taper at all times as you are very sensitive to the medication and it needs to be done in a very controlled way.

  I know you don't trust doctors however you need to find a way to allay these fears before you go down the rabbit hole.Only a suggestion twiny.

  Love you my lST.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Lady Mary are you still putting the drops in your eyes and are they feeling better?l know this you are always here for everyone and l hope you are taking good care of yourself as well.

  I am just in a wave my love nothing to worry about.l know l have my sister but l am probably better because she is here.This is my third week after a cut and that seems to be my pattern it builds for a few weeks then slam dunk.Oh what fun.

  I promise you l will watch GOT but l want to enjoy it and this ain't the time for it.

Love you my lady Mary

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

  Miyu,Intend, Gilly, Bill sending you healing thoughts and hoping everyone has a withdrawal Free day.

Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

My Free l promise you l will watch GOT and l know for a fact l will love it actually l am surprised l haven't watched it.l will pay particular attention to the scenery.

  I am praying you have an easier day today.

  Love you my lovely friend.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[Tr...]]

Morning Trish l am a little confused are you now wanting to get off .5mgs of Xanax before next year?l thought it was.25mgs.Now imo l think 0.25mgs is doable however 0.5mgs is pushing it a bit.

  I know you will do what you want to do however l will remind you that you need to stay functional as you are working etc.Now could you perhaps speak to your GP and see if he would write in your notes that you are to have control of your taper at all times as you are very sensitive to the medication and it needs to be done in a very controlled way.

  I know you don't trust doctors however you need to find a way to allay these fears before you go down the rabbit hole.Only a suggestion twiny.

  Love you my lST.

  Love and hugs Stut X

Thanks Stut, I always appreciate your input, I will always want to know what you think. I have already this year cut .25 mgs . Yes, I'd like to get rid of another . 5 that would be a total of .75 for the year. That might seem rather ambitious but I will try and see what I can accomplish. I have been trying to figure out the best way to proceed. Mary thinks a dmlt is the best route. I may consider that in the summer when I have off from work and more time to experiment. I will cut and hold until then but I won't push it. I didn't leave much time between the last two cuts I made, I think that's why the anxiety came out like a lion. Also winter is always a time of heightened anxiety for me. So we'll see twiny. I'm coming to the conclusion that this is all trial and error.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're not better, I had hoped you were feeling some relief by now. I also know the nature of this beast, just won't let go once it's got it's claws in you! Hope sis is getting better, always thinking about you..

 

Love you!

LST :smitten: