The Long Hold Support Group

[[Tr...]]

You can do it D, just keep telling yourself that after tomorrow this is all behind you.. What a relief to finally be at the end of this ordeal, you will do great! Lots of luck and here's my virtual hand holding yours🤝 for the procedure we'll all be thinking of you and willing you on. Tell Tim to give us a short part letting us know that you're home and done.

♥️

 

:smitten: I will, I promise 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘.        👁👁

 

😘💞💞

[[Tr...]]

Also D, I don't want to put pressure on you to heal but my birthday is March 18th, I'll be 56 yrs young and I expect a LHSG party .. 🎈 🍰 🍾 🥂 🎉🎊 so you must be here!!

That gives you 2 weeks to heal but no pressure 

Forever Young D, Lol!

Your D

D, I believe you missed this very important post, it's about meeee😂😂

[[Tr...]]

Be back later peeps!

Peace, love and healing..

Love you all,

Trish♥️

[[St...]]

Also D, I don't want to put pressure on you to heal but my birthday is March 18th, I'll be 56 yrs young and I expect a LHSG party .. 🎈 🍰 🍾 🥂 🎉🎊 so you must be here!!

That gives you 2 weeks to heal but no pressure 

Forever Young D, Lol!

Your D

D, I believe you missed this very important post, it's about meeee😂😂

  Ñoooooooo twiny November that's our birthday.Are you looking two sets of presents? Good thinking you're maybe not as dumb as everyone thinks.Enjoy your snow day and keep warm.The weather here isn't warm but it ain't too cold either.

  Love you my lST.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[St...]]

You can do it D, just keep telling yourself that after tomorrow this is all behind you.. What a relief to finally be at the end of this ordeal, you will do great! Lots of luck and here's my virtual hand holding yours🤝 for the procedure we'll all be thinking of you and willing you on. Tell Tim to give us a short part letting us know that you're home and done.

♥️

 

:smitten: I will, I promise 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘.        👁👁

  Stay strong lady Mary even if Tim doesn't want to write anything just tell him to post a thumbs up to let us know you are out and it is over.l will be thinking of you and of course l will be watching everything with my twenty drones.

  Love you my lady Mary.

Love and hugs Stut X

[[Ma...]]

Also D, I don't want to put pressure on you to heal but my birthday is March 18th, I'll be 56 yrs young and I expect a LHSG party .. 🎈 🍰 🍾 🥂 🎉🎊 so you must be here!!

That gives you 2 weeks to heal but no pressure 

Forever Young D, Lol!

Your D

D, I believe you missed this very important post, it's about meeee😂😂

 

:laugh: I understand totally, I feel the same way, ask Tim :laugh:

[[St...]]

I had a major setback yesterday. Can someone look at my blog and tell me if what I'm experiencing is DP/DR?

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=165525.msg2819993#msg2819993

[[Ma...]]

I had a major setback yesterday. Can someone look at my blog and tell me if what I'm experiencing is DP/DR?

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=165525.msg2819993#msg2819993

 

I'm sorry Stephen, that's not a sxs I have had, so I will bump you up, see if we fin someone!

 

Bump

[[St...]]

Hi Stephen that just sounds like anxiety to me if you had stayed in the situation you probably would have started to feel less anxious.l think a lot of people get this in social situations during withdrawal.Try not to overthink what has happened and try to practice going into these situations using breathing techniques etc and stay where you are until you feel better.lt is hard and scary however it does work.

  Love and hugs Stut X

[[Ma...]]

Stut, where's my damn Poem, where?  It's been weeks :laugh:

[[St...]]

Sorry to burst your bubble lady Mary it's to his queen's l think he meant his queen but you know he is trying to make you all feel good.We know l am the queen so play along 😂.Go back a page on the blog and you should see it.

.. love you my LADY Mary.

  Love and hugs QUEEN Stut X 😂😂😂😂

[[Ma...]]

Sorry to burst your bubble lady Mary it's to his queen's l think he meant his queen but you know he is trying to make you all feel good.We know l am the queen so play along 😂.Go back a page on the blog and you should see it.

.. love you my LADY Mary.

  Love and hugs QUEEN Stut X 😂😂😂😂

 

Oh blah blah blah.....long..did not even mention me.....you guys can have him.......he's too much work

[[sn...]]

What if I was never stable?  I started tapering from a place of great instability a decade ago because it would have taken a massive dose of Valium and to stabilize me and my pattern was that I developed a tolerance to an updose very very quickly. I am poly-drugged which has made it so much more complicated. I have been close to bedridden for 15 years because of these drugs. Since I couldn’t taper Valium any more (got down from an equivalent of 30 mg. to 12.5, I have been tapering another drug which is known to speed the clearance of Valium, hoping if I got this drug out, I would be more successful with a slow slow taper of Valium. I tapered 50% of trileptal (AED) and it has helped me sleep better (than no sleep) but now I feel like the Valium is toxic. I am having shortness of breath and tachycardia which are new symptoms, formerly only experienced if I had to take a medicine or supplement for something else. I feel toxic. I can’t tolerate anything new. I have a ton of chronic Illness, some long-standing; some drug related. BTW, my attempt to taper Valium was a long taper. This trileptal taper was too. My question and worry is...I was NEVER really stable but these drugs are killing me. I can’t do much of anything. I only barely tolerate 7 foods. I have chronic sinus and dental work that desperately need treatment but I can’t even consider antibiotics, or what all is needed for dental work. I have serious GI problems and now tachycardia and air hunger not to mention massive chronic pain for which I take nothing. I live an inhumane life.  The point is, I know I have kindled from being on psych drugs for 35 years and though I did a couple cold turkeys 20 years ago, I have not updosed ever or changed drugs. I have just been trying to make tiny cuts and hold. I have now been holding 9 months and I am getting worse and I need to start getting this Valium out of my body. I am going on 65 and am a slow metabolizer. . I feel I will die soon if I don’t start getting some of this poison out of my body, but stabilization is not happening. Why would it?  I started tapering from a place of instability more than 10 years ago. I am terrified when I read about people holding until they are stable and then they resume tapering. I have been holding until I felt I could endure some more tapering but that point is just not coming.

 

I am very very scared so if you feel like yelling at me about what I did wrong, or how weak I must be, please just don’t post. I need to know...should I just not bother to try a DLMT...a very very slow one?

 

I really want to update my drug/tapering history but can’t find out how.

 

Thank you.

[[So...]]

Sorry you are suffering so much snowflake. I am also tapering Valium and I know how hard it can be.

 

I did a hold for 3+ weeks and it did nothing for me, I didn't feel more stable and certainly not better so I began to taper again and tapering made me feel better. Now as I do a DLMT, I am doing better than I was before. I can understand why people hold but for me, it didn't help.

 

You can do a very slow DLMT and adjust the speed as needed. I do think getting rid of the Valium is the right thing to do, especially when you are feeling this way.

[[Ma...]]

What if I was never stable?  I started tapering from a place of great instability a decade ago because it would have taken a massive dose of Valium and to stabilize me and my pattern was that I developed a tolerance to an updose very very quickly. I am poly-drugged which has made it so much more complicated. I have been close to bedridden for 15 years because of these drugs. Since I couldn’t taper Valium any more (got down from an equivalent of 30 mg. to 12.5, I have been tapering another drug which is known to speed the clearance of Valium, hoping if I got this drug out, I would be more successful with a slow slow taper of Valium. I tapered 50% of trileptal (AED) and it has helped me sleep better (than no sleep) but now I feel like the Valium is toxic. I am having shortness of breath and tachycardia which are new symptoms, formerly only experienced if I had to take a medicine or supplement for something else. I feel toxic. I can’t tolerate anything new. I have a ton of chronic Illness, some long-standing; some drug related. BTW, my attempt to taper Valium was a long taper. This trileptal taper was too. My question and worry is...I was NEVER really stable but these drugs are killing me. I can’t do much of anything. I only barely tolerate 7 foods. I have chronic sinus and dental work that desperately need treatment but I can’t even consider antibiotics, or what all is needed for dental work. I have serious GI problems and now tachycardia and air hunger not to mention massive chronic pain for which I take nothing. I live an inhumane life.  The point is, I know I have kindled from being on psych drugs for 35 years and though I did a couple cold turkeys 20 years ago, I have not updosed ever or changed drugs. I have just been trying to make tiny cuts and hold. I have now been holding 9 months and I am getting worse and I need to start getting this Valium out of my body. I am going on 65 and am a slow metabolizer. . I feel I will die soon if I don’t start getting some of this poison out of my body, but stabilization is not happening. Why would it?  I started tapering from a place of instability more than 10 years ago. I am terrified when I read about people holding until they are stable and then they resume tapering. I have been holding until I felt I could endure some more tapering but that point is just not coming.

 

I am very very scared so if you feel like yelling at me about what I did wrong, or how weak I must be, please just don’t post. I need to know...should I just not bother to try a DLMT...a very very slow one?

 

I really want to update my drug/tapering history but can’t find out how.

 

Thank you.

 

We will never scream at you I promise.  If you have been holding that long, I would say trying to do a slow dlmt, with you watching your sxs very carefully, might be a good plan.  Everyone is very different and sometimes you just have to do what is right for you.  With a slow dlmt, you can just think of it as a sxs taper, and if you feel your sxs ramping up, take a break and then begin again.  To update your signature, go to home page, click on profile and read down, it will show you.  There are great people on the titration board to help you come up with a solid plan.  Good luck Snowflake, we are always here for you, Mary 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

[[es...]]

Snowflake, you would have to be a snowflake made of steel to have made it through this! I can’t imagine anyone thinking you are weak. I agree with the group. Taper, but slowly and DLMT if possible. You need to get off this drug. It may be hurting you not to taper. Stephen, I think these social situations create anxiety in me that I never had before withdrawal. What you experienced sounds a bit like me. Mary, I will be glad when you get past tomorrow. Aren’t you glad we only have two eyes? Love you, cuz.  Hugs to all, Esperanza

[[Ma...]]

Snowflake, you would have to be a snowflake made of steel to have made it through this! I can’t imagine anyone thinking you are weak. I agree with the group. Taper, but slowly and DLMT if possible. You need to get off this drug. It may be hurting you not to taper. Stephen, I think these social situations create anxiety in me that I never had before withdrawal. What you experienced sounds a bit like me. Mary, I will be glad when you get past tomorrow. Aren’t you glad we only have two eyes? Love you, cuz.  Hugs to all, Esperanza

 

You better believe cousin from another cousin.  2 👁👁 have been more than enough.  I just want to see and get on with this taper without the extra anxiety and interruption of my physical therapy.  But I also have to be grateful for no pain and I was in good enough shape in my taper to do it 🙏  Love ya E, Mary 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀😘😘😘😘😘😘

[[sn...]]

Awww, you guys just about made me cry...admittedly, not that hard to do, but anyway....THANK YOU.  Obviously, I am skittish.  I have been really almost mercilessly ridiculed for the slowness of my almost non-exisitent taper on other forums.  I have been so afraid to do anything because of this whole kindling idea and also the "you must taper from a place of stability" idea.  I haven't been stable in over 30 years!  The extent I go to each day just to stay alive is something I would not want anyone to even get a snapshot of.  This air hunger (waking up feeling like I am suffocating) and heart stuff is trying to tell me something, but then I read "you need to get stable before tapering" I feel immobilized by fear.

 

On my mind right now...I wanted to do a DLMT five years back and had (brand-name) valium compounded into a liquid.  Knowing how over-sensitized i am to change, I took my whole dose for about 3 days, I think, in liquid form.  I felt like I was in acute withdrawal immediately.  Thank you, Mary, for telling me how to update my profile.

 

So I have two options...each with an advantage.  We are getting ready to spend the big bucks for a high precision scale that would allow dry cuts to .0001 but that actually might be faster than I can go.  (I am trying to be realistic here and that is over 2 mg./year dosage if I cut daily)  I know I could take 10 mg. in a pill and liquid taper the 2.86 even slower if I have to, but I do not want to set myself back with changing the way my body absorbs the drugs.  I am on brand name drugs because I am soooooo sensitized.  My brain just knows when something changes and gives me loud signals not to.  BTW, we are not wealthy but we will do ANYTHING to help me right now because we both fear I will die sooner rather than later if I don't.  I am no spring chicken at almost 65.

 

Anyway, thank all of you for being so kind.  Any thoughts on dry cutting on the ridiculously expensive scale versus trying to stabilize using  a combination of dry pills and liquid would be appreciated...

 

I am very grateful for the encouragement.  I have no one who understands but a husband who will do anything to help.

[[Tr...]]

Snowflake your story breaks my heart, this group would never tell you that you are weak, quite the opposite. After reading your story I think of you as strong and very brave. You haven't given up and you want to get off this drug, that's what we call warriors around here, so welcome warrior.

Love and hugs,

Trish

[[Ma...]]

Awww, you guys just about made me cry...admittedly, not that hard to do, but anyway....THANK YOU.  Obviously, I am skittish.  I have been really almost mercilessly ridiculed for the slowness of my almost non-exisitent taper on other forums.  I have been so afraid to do anything because of this whole kindling idea and also the "you must taper from a place of stability" idea.  I haven't been stable in over 30 years!  The extent I go to each day just to stay alive is something I would not want anyone to even get a snapshot of.  This air hunger (waking up feeling like I am suffocating) and heart stuff is trying to tell me something, but then I read "you need to get stable before tapering" I feel immobilized by fear.

 

On my mind right now...I wanted to do a DLMT five years back and had (brand-name) valium compounded into a liquid.  Knowing how over-sensitized i am to change, I took my whole dose for about 3 days, I think, in liquid form.  I felt like I was in acute withdrawal immediately.  Thank you, Mary, for telling me how to update my profile.

 

So I have two options...each with an advantage.  We are getting ready to spend the big bucks for a high precision scale that would allow dry cuts to .0001 but that actually might be faster than I can go.  (I am trying to be realistic here and that is over 2 mg./year dosage if I cut daily)  I know I could take 10 mg. in a pill and liquid taper the 2.86 even slower if I have to, but I do not want to set myself back with changing the way my body absorbs the drugs.  I am on brand name drugs because I am soooooo sensitized.  My brain just knows when something changes and gives me loud signals not to.  BTW, we are not wealthy but we will do ANYTHING to help me right now because we both fear I will die sooner rather than later if I don't.  I am no spring chicken at almost 65.

 

Anyway, thank all of you for being so kind.  Any thoughts on dry cutting on the ridiculously expensive scale versus trying to stabilize using  a combination of dry pills and liquid would be appreciated...

 

I am very grateful for the encouragement.  I have no one who understands but a husband who will do anything to help.

 

Snowflake, a whole lot of us are in our 60's and completely understand how you feel about that.  To find someone with lots of experience tapering with a scale.......go back to home page, scroll down topics until you see general taper plans....start your own thread by asking a question and people will start answering, giving you their best advice on how to taper with the scale.  They may even have a form for you to fill out.  Anyway, let them know your plan and they will help with numbers and how to get there.  Good luck girlfriend, keep us posted.  You are so brave and have shown so much strength, you can do this.  My best advice....start slow  .  Mary

[[Tr...]]

Snowflake I dry cut. I have never tried liquid taper plans. I started my taper up again on December 28th . I have my Dr prescribe .25 mg pills. I took one pill and cut a quarter piece of it away then I wait to see how I feel and so far I've almost eliminated the entire pill except for a quarter piece of it. So when I'm done with that pill I'll start on another .25 and repeat the process .

[[Tr...]]

Snowflake also worth noting, I don't use a scale only a pill splitter.

Best of luck to you.

Trish

[[es...]]

Snowflake, Welcome!!! I am older than you. I turned 68 last week. And I started out in relative withdrawal, so complete stability is not in the cards for me. I also feel the klonopin made me depressed and anxious over 17 years, so it probably still is because I am not off yet. And, of course, these symptoms are much much worse now that I am withdrawing. You are not as out of the norm as you think. There are many long term taken as prescribed victims of these drugs. Love and hugs, Esperanza

[[Tr...]]

Also D, I don't want to put pressure on you to heal but my birthday is March 18th, I'll be 56 yrs young and I expect a LHSG party .. 🎈 🍰 🍾 🥂 🎉🎊 so you must be here!!

That gives you 2 weeks to heal but no pressure 

Forever Young D, Lol!

Your D

D, I believe you missed this very important post, it's about meeee😂😂

  Ñoooooooo twiny November that's our birthday.Are you looking two sets of presents? Good thinking you're maybe not as dumb as everyone thinks.Enjoy your snow day and keep warm.The weather here isn't warm but it ain't too cold either.

  Love you my lST.

  Love and hugs Stut X

Yes!!! Two sets of presents, one set should go to you bc were twins who were born in November and March.. Riddle me that one! :laugh:

I spent my snow day spending! I'm a shopahlic these days.. Poor Rich his wallet is on fire

Hope you had a lovely day enjoying that ocean air my twin, our queen

Love you,

Lst

[[Tr...]]

Snowflake, Welcome!!! I am older than you. I turned 68 last week. And I started out in relative withdrawal, so complete stability is not in the cards for me. I also feel the klonopin made me depressed and anxious over 17 years, so it probably still is because I am not off yet. And, of course, these symptoms are much much worse now that I am withdrawing. You are not as out of the norm as you think. There are many long term taken as prescribed victims of these drugs. Love and hugs, Esperanza

 

Esperanza is right you're not of the norm, I'm a long termer on my benzo along with so many others and I have less anxiety now then when I was on a higher dose of this poison.

There are others like esperanza who don't completely stabilize but get well enough to move forward again.. You will figure this out and we're here to support in any way we can.