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Time to say farewell


[Gi...]

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This is my first visit for months and it will be my last.

 

It’s coming up to 2 years since I first posted and I was desperate for help. I was so lucky that I found Sofakingdone and she guided me through to where I am now.

 

The first 6 months were so bad but she taught me acceptance of my situation and that distraction would get me through the bad times.

 

This is an unpredictable road to travel. Just as I was getting better I got worse and just as I was getting worse I got better. And on it went.

 

But I now know that trying to measure my progress daily or weekly was futile. I could see progress if I looked back every 3-6 months. That way I knew that I was healing and that the symptoms were fading.

 

Why it has taken me 2 years I just don’t know. Maybe it was my genes. Maybe I tapered too fast. Maybe coming off of two drugs made it worse. But I have lived a healthy recovery in terms of food, exercise and relaxation and have never wavered. So maybe 2 years was a good result rather than a bad one.

 

For those of you looking for hope I can tell you that I have hardly any symptoms these days and if I get some I can just bat them off. I feel so much more self-aware and resilient. I am stronger. I know that I have made it to the end and so can you.

 

Find yourself someone to support you and keep clean. You will feel well again.

 

Best of luck,

 

G

 

P.S. I will come back in one week if anyone has any questions

 

 

 

 

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Oh this is so good to read! I literally said to myself yesterday, " We need another good recovery story posted - its been a bit". - and here this is!

 

So glad you came on here to post this! You did n't forget about those that are still here:)

 

The fact that you can post this even in a pandemic makes it twice as impactful! This is awesome.

I wish you well.  :smitten:

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Awesome post..Wish you all the best. I remember your response to one of my post couple months back when I was really struggling and I asked If I should go back on benzo and you said what's done is done..now just stay away from it and I always remember that when sometime thing gets harder..

You Take care and wish you all the best  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

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Hello G.  :smitten:

 

I'm thrilled to hear you're feeling so much better but very sorry we won't see you anymore.  Thank you for being such a compassionate contributing member of BenzoBuddies, we're richer for your participation.

 

Pamster

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Congratulations! I’m incredibly happy for you.

 

Can you tell us what it was like towards the end for you? I’m at 20 months and really struggling. Many symptoms seem more intense lately. I was wondering if things got really intense and then much better, or just kind of drift away slowly.

 

Thank you. Congrats again. I hope you are able to truly embrace life now.

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Congratulations G, I am so pleased for you. Thank you for sharing, i am sure your post will help a lot of people. You were always very supportive to others here, I am sorry we wont be seeing you around.

 

I wish you the best for the future

 

Magrita :smitten:

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I am 4-1/2 years out from Clonazepam and Sofakingdone has guided me as well even though she hasn't healed herself.  I miss her on BenzoBuddies. 
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I am so glad to read that you are  near to healed  and ready to move on with life,

 

I know that sometimes you have replied to a message from me and you have tried hard to help others

 

I am at 10 months off and still seem to be suffering a lot, which can bring about feelings that I will never heal when others are on their way

 

Who knows the reasons,  Genetics maybe,  my past history , my age, I  have no idea

 

I am only glad that as you write,  we have to step back from seeing the day to day and see if things are any better than 2-3 months back, and even that, is hard to tell as symptoms stay and others leave then return,

 

I turn to success stories to keep me going when I feel I am the one that can't recover, especially from the daily panic, and well you know the way it is, we all have our own list of different problems, 

 

I will miss you here but can see why you want to move forward and  live your life

 

10 months and no real sign of much seems wrong, but you got through and I try to do as you say

 

My diet may not be perfect but I try as best I can , I exercise daily by walking, 3-5 miles a day and  I try to distract , accept, though as yet I struggle with this.

 

I can say I have more clarity of thought so there is progress, but with that comes more awareness of the symptoms, and more anxiety, 

 

However you hold out a future that is possible and I will keep aiming for that  each day

 

Thank you

 

Jen

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Oh this is so good to read! I literally said to myself yesterday, " We need another good recovery story posted - its been a bit". - and here this is!

 

So glad you came on here to post this! You did n't forget about those that are still here:)

 

The fact that you can post this even in a pandemic makes it twice as impactful! This is awesome.

I wish you well.  :smitten:

 

Thanks for those lovely comments Trina. It has made my visit totally worthwhile

 

Best wishes,

 

G

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Awesome post..Wish you all the best. I remember your response to one of my post couple months back when I was really struggling and I asked If I should go back on benzo and you said what's done is done..now just stay away from it and I always remember that when sometime thing gets harder..

You Take care and wish you all the best  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

 

Thank-you very much JR. it has been a long road but it seems worthwhile now. That’s easy to say at this stage. I hope you are improving. Fast would be great, slow would be just fine. I am convinced that as long as you are living a healthy life and are losing symptoms then you can take your foot off of the ‘worry pedal’ and once you’ve done that then you’ll make another leap forward.

 

All the best,

 

G

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Hello G.  :smitten:

 

I'm thrilled to hear you're feeling so much better but very sorry we won't see you anymore.  Thank you for being such a compassionate contributing member of BenzoBuddies, we're richer for your participation.

 

Pamster

 

Hi Pamster,

 

Thank-you so much for your comments and all of the help that you gave me directly and indirectly over my time on BB. You are doing a great job supporting everyone on here. Maybe I shouldn’t be going. Mmmm..

 

Best wishes,

 

G

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Congratulations! I’m incredibly happy for you.

 

Can you tell us what it was like towards the end for you? I’m at 20 months and really struggling. Many symptoms seem more intense lately. I was wondering if things got really intense and then much better, or just kind of drift away slowly.

 

Thank you. Congrats again. I hope you are able to truly embrace life now.

 

Hi Gene,

 

What I learned is that we’re all different in our recovery. We have different genes, we are at different ages, we’ve taken different drugs for different lengths of time, we have different lifestyles etc.etc. But when I look at your history compared to mine I immediately think that you took Klonopin for longer than me and your taper was probably shorter than Ashton would have suggested. So, ‘all things being equal’ - which they are not - you might take a while longer to come through this. But I’m no doctor or guru: I just think that you’ve got to hang on in there. I had lots of waves which I can now recognise were diminishing in intensity over time. But I didn’t see that during high intensity periods of nastiness. Just because it is nasty today for you doesn’t mean that you won’t feel so much better tomorrow. I am absolutely convinced that living healthily will fix you.

 

Good luck,

 

G

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Hello G.  :smitten:

 

I'm thrilled to hear you're feeling so much better but very sorry we won't see you anymore.  Thank you for being such a compassionate contributing member of BenzoBuddies, we're richer for your participation.

 

Pamster

 

Hi Pamster,

 

Thank-you so much for your comments and all of the help that you gave me directly and indirectly over my time on BB. You are doing a great job supporting everyone on here. Maybe I shouldn’t be going. Mmmm..

 

Best wishes,

 

G

 

You're always welcome G, but I understand taking a break.  I left the forum in 2011 and returned in 2019, I hope you won't stay gone that long.  :-*

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Congratulations G, I am so pleased for you. Thank you for sharing, i am sure your post will help a lot of people. You were always very supportive to others here, I am sorry we wont be seeing you around.

 

I wish you the best for the future

 

Magrita :smitten:

 

Hi Magrita,

 

Thank-you so much for all of the support that you gave me. It was always comforting to know that you were there for all of us.

 

Best wishes,

 

G

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I am 4-1/2 years out from Clonazepam and Sofakingdone has guided me as well even though she hasn't healed herself.  I miss her on BenzoBuddies.

 

Sofa is virtually free of all symptoms and is now out there enjoying the rest of her life. I hope that you feel better soon.

 

Best wishes,

 

G

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I am so glad to read that you are  near to healed  and ready to move on with life,

 

I know that sometimes you have replied to a message from me and you have tried hard to help others

 

I am at 10 months off and still seem to be suffering a lot, which can bring about feelings that I will never heal when others are on their way

 

Who knows the reasons,  Genetics maybe,  my past history , my age, I  have no idea

 

I am only glad that as you write,  we have to step back from seeing the day to day and see if things are any better than 2-3 months back, and even that, is hard to tell as symptoms stay and others leave then return,

 

I turn to success stories to keep me going when I feel I am the one that can't recover, especially from the daily panic, and well you know the way it is, we all have our own list of different problems, 

 

I will miss you here but can see why you want to move forward and  live your life

 

10 months and no real sign of much seems wrong, but you got through and I try to do as you say

 

My diet may not be perfect but I try as best I can , I exercise daily by walking, 3-5 miles a day and  I try to distract , accept, though as yet I struggle with this.

 

I can say I have more clarity of thought so there is progress, but with that comes more awareness of the symptoms, and more anxiety, 

 

However you hold out a future that is possible and I will keep aiming for that  each day

 

Thank you

 

Jen

 

Jen,

 

I know it’s easy for me to say, but you do sound so much more positive than the last time that we were in touch. 10 months is still early and so you should hang on in there. Also, you didn’t mention your tinnitus which is encouraging.

 

Best wishes,

 

G

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I am happy to add my voice to the many who are wishing congratulations, and also thanking and recognizing you for your support here on BB.  Your no BS answers are something I very much appreciate about your interaction here.

 

Best wishes my friend, enjoy living your life to its fullest!

 

Cheers,

      RR

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What a wonderful post Give me hope!  Thanks for sharing this - as I'm sure you know, it means the world to those of us still recovering.  Wishing you all the best!
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Thank you for your comments.  I’m someone just getting started on this journey and your positive comments are so encouraging.  That’s what we really need because it’s easy to get caught up in all the scary stuff and lose our focus on the finish line.

 

Wish you all the best!,

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Give me hope, that's wonderful that you are healed, thank you for coming back to share your story, im hoping to start seeing some improvements too soon, but not yet :( hopefully one of these days, thank you again for your story)
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I am happy to add my voice to the many who are wishing congratulations, and also thanking and recognizing you for your support here on BB.  Your no BS answers are something I very much appreciate about your interaction here.

 

Best wishes my friend, enjoy living your life to its fullest!

 

Cheers,

      RR

 

Hi RR,

 

Thank you for those kind words. I have really enjoyed and benefited from our discussions and look forward to them continuing for years to come.

 

G

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What a wonderful post Give me hope!  Thanks for sharing this - as I'm sure you know, it means the world to those of us still recovering.  Wishing you all the best!

 

Brighterday,

 

I am so pleased to see that you are 90% healed. The last 10% may drag on a bit - mine has - but it has also been rewarding in a strange way because I know how much I have successfully come through.

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Thank you for your comments.  I’m someone just getting started on this journey and your positive comments are so encouraging.  That’s what we really need because it’s easy to get caught up in all the scary stuff and lose our focus on the finish line.

 

Wish you all the best!,

Hi 2cats,

 

Good luck on your journey. My one tip to you is that waves are unpredictable in timing and strength. It can be a mistake to link a taper reduction with a wave. The wave may have been coming anyway. What I’m trying to say is please avoid re-instating because that will not help. This will improve for you.

 

Good luck,

 

G

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Give me hope, that's wonderful that you are healed, thank you for coming back to share your story, im hoping to start seeing some improvements too soon, but not yet :( hopefully one of these days, thank you again for your story)

 

Hi Kathy,

 

So great to see that you are med-free. If you are like me your symptoms will reduce over the months ahead but with the expected waves. My tip is to measure your progress over longer periods of time such as 3-6 months. I kept a diary and many times when I was doubting my progress I was able to go back 3-6 months and see that although I still had a way to go, things were better than before. This gave me the added boost to maintaining my routines and morale. Accept that progress is sometimes slow but know that it is going to end.

 

Best,

 

G

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