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I’m so scared


[Be...]

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I’m scared to death that my brain will shut off completely it is shutting off more everyday. Do you think that is possible for my brain to shut off completely from multiple CTs and fast tapers?
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No it won't shut off completely, I know it's scary but it's your anxiety that's making it worse. You won't be like this forever, your brain is confused and working hard to get back to a balanced state. It will heal, and your ability to think again will come back.
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No it won't shut off completely, I know it's scary but it's your anxiety that's making it worse. You won't be like this forever, your brain is confused and working hard to get back to a balanced state. It will heal, and your ability to think again will come back.

 

My brain is so off, that I don’t even have thoughts anymore, no anxiety, nothing just blank mind shutting off, also my vision is shutting off, everything does, I don’t have blurry vision, but I see less everyday. That is just crazy, also in my dreams brain is shutting off, I have symptoms in my dreams that’s crazy, I feel so strange that it is impossible to describe it. My brain is numb. 😪 that’s why I’m scared because my brain works less everyday. 😔

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Your cognitive abilities may be compromised right now but I assure you your autonomic nervous system is fully functioning and keeping everything going as you go through this.  Your job is to concentrate on how you can manage your fear and pain without giving in to worst case thinking.

 

What tools are you using to distract yourself from this, are you working with a therapist, are you meditating, using CBT, finding low stress activities to make the time pass? 

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Your cognitive abilities may be compromised right now but I assure you your autonomic nervous system is fully functioning and keeping everything going as you go through this.  Your job is to concentrate on how you can manage your fear and pain without giving in to worst case thinking.

 

What tools are you using to distract yourself from this, are you working with a therapist, are you meditating, using CBT, finding low stress activities to make the time pass?

 

I can’t meditate or work with a therapist because I can’t visualise and I can’t think to talk with people, my mind is blank, nothing in my head I can only type, all I want to tell I need to write down and read and even that is hard because I don’t have my mind anymore.

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Since you feel comfortable typing, what about starting a journal and focusing on what you can do instead of what you can't?  I know that's a tall order when the only thing we can seem to focus on is the negative but it's been documented in so many areas of human study that having a positive attitude can affect outcome.

 

 

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So I literally have zero memory of my first year after my CT. Zero. I have to look back at pictures to remember what happened in my life.

My brain came back.

I could barely type on these forums. Looks like you can still formulate sentences <3333 you’re so ok!

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I know exactly where you're at, I know cause I've been there. Your cognitive ability is such, that you feel it is impossible to get back to the high functioning well balanced person you were prior to this benzo nightmare. This can be very scary, especially with a temporary diminished ability to think rationally. Just please know this nightmare will end. This is a process. A process of repair/healing that your brain knows very well how to complete. It will take time,  but you will get there, just as I have. In the mean time, I would encourage you to follow pamster's advice, as it was great advice. Hang in there! This to shall pass...
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I'm only starting to THINK again BNM0.  I'm sitting on 20 months. 

 

I do understand what you are describing and attribute it to anxiety and fear, benzo induced. 

 

You are going to be OK. 

 

Dee

:smitten:

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