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does the evil ever leave?


[a6...]

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i dont know how else to describe it. my stuff started as the intrusive thoughts in wd but then drs poisoned me with more and more drugs until i developed akathesia and the brain burning and i guess dp dr....now sometimes it feels like i dont know who i am anymore and i feel like im some sort of evil bad person. i wish i could describe this better for you all. if it does leave how do we ever forget the feeling and the thoughts?
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When I recovered I returned to who I was before, all of the awful thoughts, fears and doubts left me.  I've never experienced any setbacks or lingering symptoms nor suffered PTSD, life is good again. 

 

Because of my use and abuse of benzo's I had to earn back the trust of my family and friends but by living my best life I've shown those who care about me that I'm worthy of their faith in me.  I know you've lived through some terrible events but when you recover from the damage inflicted on you by the drug, you can begin the process of rebuilding your life.  I know this sounds impossible right now but give your body the time it needs to recover and when you do, things will look much clearer.

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thank you Pamster. i keep telling ymself that. like i know i will have guilt about telling someone about that awful hallucinations that lead me to going where i went and i hope i can get it out of my heart that the cops came to MY house to check on the wellbeing of my kid bc i thought telling a pastor about it woild somehow get jesus to take the pain of it from me. sorry my run-on sentences are bad. i did have a good evening yesterday. went to my boys soccer game and other than thinking about all of this the whole time i felt decent. this weeke3of camping....not so much. i seriously sometimes feel like ive been body snatched by some dark entity.
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When I recovered I returned to who I was before, all of the awful thoughts, fears and doubts left me.  I've never experienced any setbacks or lingering symptoms nor suffered PTSD, life is good again. 

 

Because of my use and abuse of benzo's I had to earn back the trust of my family and friends but by living my best life I've shown those who care about me that I'm worthy of their faith in me.  I know you've lived through some terrible events but when you recover from the damage inflicted on you by the drug, you can begin the process of rebuilding your life.  I know this sounds impossible right now but give your body the time it needs to recover and when you do, things will look much clearer.

 

wish i knew your story

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When I recovered I returned to who I was before, all of the awful thoughts, fears and doubts left me.  I've never experienced any setbacks or lingering symptoms nor suffered PTSD, life is good again. 

 

Because of my use and abuse of benzo's I had to earn back the trust of my family and friends but by living my best life I've shown those who care about me that I'm worthy of their faith in me.  I know you've lived through some terrible events but when you recover from the damage inflicted on you by the drug, you can begin the process of rebuilding your life.  I know this sounds impossible right now but give your body the time it needs to recover and when you do, things will look much clearer.

 

wish i knew your story

 

You can read her story by clicking the link in her comment that says pamsters success story.

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When I recovered I returned to who I was before, all of the awful thoughts, fears and doubts left me.  I've never experienced any setbacks or lingering symptoms nor suffered PTSD, life is good again. 

 

Because of my use and abuse of benzo's I had to earn back the trust of my family and friends but by living my best life I've shown those who care about me that I'm worthy of their faith in me.  I know you've lived through some terrible events but when you recover from the damage inflicted on you by the drug, you can begin the process of rebuilding your life.  I know this sounds impossible right now but give your body the time it needs to recover and when you do, things will look much clearer.

 

wish i knew your story

 

You can read her story by clicking the link in her comment that says pamsters success story.

 

oops forgot i had read it already.

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The "evil" does go...what happens is it lessens. Eventually the light starts to outshine the dark.

 

If I may, I would like to refer to your faith to try to offer help. In your faith, God does not always instantly deliver from suffering, but rather provides strength and leads one through the situation. This same God has also designed the body to heal. This same God also allows free will to everyone whether it be for good or bad. Unfortunately we fell victim to the harm of the free will of big pharma and doctors who don't know enough or maybe didn't care enough. But God works through willing people to give hope...like people on here... to give hope of health and restoration.

 

Just wanted to utilize your doctrine of faith to help provide hope and strength for you as I know it is a tool that helps many.

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I wouldnt mind a dollar for everyone here that has had to rebuild a life from scratch, no matter the specifics...

From where you are now Boymom, It will seem impossible from every angle, but a path will unfold and thats “the journey”.. -Persistence Rules, Use The Tools..

In time, and as you are able to “work it”, there presents a golden opportunity.. -One that not many people get.. Sure, it has costs, losses (discards too), and things that will need accepting, but there will be balance that brings strength.. -A new life awaits...

 

(A snap shot into the future..)

 

:)

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I wouldnt mind a dollar for everyone here that has had to rebuild a life from scratch, no matter the specifics...

From where you are now Boymom, It will seem impossible from every angle, but a path will unfold and thats “the journey”.. -Persistence Rules, Use The Tools..

In time, and as you are able to “work it”, there presents a golden opportunity.. -One that not many people get.. Sure, it has costs, losses (discards too), and things that will need accepting, but there will be balance that brings strength.. -A new life awaits...

 

(A snap shot into the future..)

 

:)

yeah i will have to rebuild. every single thing in my life was taken. even my motherhood was dismantled examined criticized and torn asunder. my best friend im married to for 17yrs? had to abandon me in an abusive hospital situation 2000.iles from.home and was told jot to believe what i was telling him. and sooo many of us lose or temporarily lose our careers. my biggeat pitfall was that i was told over and over 6o reach out and explain what was happening

i got abandoned shunned and committed multiple times. my quality of life is not good atm. apparently even the hardest sufferers handled s@#$ better than me

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