Hello I am Jeff

[[Je...]]

I've been taking small daily amounts of Xanax, then Valium, then Klonopin since around 6/2020 -- the time of George Floyd's death.

 

I've been trying to switch away from the really dangerous ones (Xanax!) and keep dosage as low as I possibly can (10mg valium, 0.5mg Xanax, 0.25mg Klonopin), but I also am concerned since I have been doing this for a few months now. Just wanted to share stories and get feedback.

[[Pa...]]

Hello Jefferino, Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I've seen dependence to the drug occur in as little as 10 days so it's possible your body has grown dependent as well.  These drugs are only recommended to be used for 2-4 weeks but from what I've seen here, this is too long, by 4 weeks time, it's already too late.  Not everyone will have a difficult time getting off of these drugs but for those like us, it's a nightmare, I hope you won't have a problem.

 

Is it your wish to taper, and by the way, they're all dangerous.  Xanax has the shortest half life which means you need to take it more often but Klonopin and Valium are just as powerful.

 

If you'd like to see the taper methods we support, please check out our Planning your taper (Taper Plans) board.

 

And if you'd like member feedback, feel free to start a thread on the Withdrawal Support (during your taper) board.

 

Have you noticed any odd symptoms like what is described in chapter 3 of  The Ashton Manual, this might help you know if you've become dependent.

 

We're glad you found us.

 

Pamster

 

[[Je...]]

Thanks!

 

It's difficult to tell because there is a whole lot I am anxious about now: 

 

- climate change (is it irreversible? have we really screwed this up for our children and our children's children?)

- covid (when does this end? 6 months from now? 12 months from now?)

- wildfires (local to my area of CA. That "orange sky day" was so unnerving I definitely wanted a bit of benzo)

- the election and the prospect of 4 more years of a cruel, heartless, selfish leader in front of us and the whole world

 

And that's not getting into family and work stuff, which has mostly been OK, so I am lucky in that regard.

 

For me, the benzos have been quite magical, like a "push the button and the anxiety goes away" thing. That's obviously dangerous since I am not addressing the root causes of my anxiety, but papering over it with .. er.. magic. But the benzos have been VERY effective on me. Almost too effective really.

 

Right now I am taking a single dose of 0.250mg klonopin each day (the last psychiatrist I had recommended Klonopin, but then she later fired me and said I should be in a rehab program because I am using meds "off book".. so.. yeah) but I need to scale that back and maybe skip days every now and then.

 

In my cycle, I started with

 

- Xanax 0.5mg, twice a day

 

switched to

 

- Valium 10mg, once a day

 

and then

 

- Klonopin, 0.5mg once a day

 

But now it's 0.25mg Klonopin per day, and I'm gonna try to skip some days.

[[Pa...]]

I've seen members use the drug sporadically, the take as needed type who's bodies become dependent so don't expect that approach to protect you from this happening to you.  The best way to protect yourself from benzo harm is to find other ways to deal with your stress, I know easier said than done when magic is so much more effective. 

 

I also need to point out that we don't allow the discussion of politics on the forum, everyone is pretty sensitive while going through withdrawal so we do our best to keep things safe for everyone, regardless of political leaning. 

[[on...]]

Hello Jeff.  Welcome to my world of wonder too.  Why now?  If ever?

 

To semi-quote you, with modification to politics, (as Pam just indicated) and location, ;

 

- climate change (is it irreversible? have we really screwed this up for our children and our children's children?)

- covid (when does this end? 6 months from now? 12 months from now?)

- wildfires (local to my area of Oregon. That "orange sky day" was so unnerving I definitely wanted a bit of benzo)

- the election and the prospect ..............

 

I just wanted to let you know, that you're not alone with the confusion.  I've seen other web sites that people talk about use of benzos for Years and comfortable with that, as it has kept them feeling "normal", after a life of anxiety, fear, etc.  People using 30, 40 years, 70 and 80 years old.

 

I am not advocating anything being right or wrong and find I'm conflicted and change my thinking every time I read either a positive story or horrible story.  But, I do wonder why I found, BB and am trying to keep open and let you know,

 

You Are Not Alone!

[[ki...]]

There are many people who are scared, angry, and sad at the state of the world. You are not alone in that. Unfortunately politics are not something we discuss here as Pamster said.

 

You’ve been on benzos long enough to develop physical dependency at this point (that doesn’t mean you have). Skipping days is not usually a recommended way of tapering. If you feel OK on .25 mg K, that’s a good starting point to taper from. Do you have a doctor willing to prescribe?

 

I’d also like to add, I live in CA too and the wildfires have been terrifying for me. Something that has helped me to cope is having a go-bag ready to go so if we need to evacuate we don’t have to scramble.

[[Je...]]

Thanks for the responses! Such kindness here. It is appreciated.

 

I also need to point out that we don't allow the discussion of politics on the forum, everyone is pretty sensitive while going through withdrawal so we do our best to keep things safe for everyone, regardless of political leaning. 

Ah, sorry, was just listing what I am anxious about and the sources of my anxiety. Hearing any president (any party) say in a public statement that he does not agree to a peaceful transfer of power during the election is.. not good for my anxiety. And I suspect not good for the nation's anxiety, either?

 

You’ve been on benzos long enough to develop physical dependency at this point (that doesn’t mean you have). Skipping days is not usually a recommended way of tapering. If you feel OK on .25 mg K, that’s a good starting point to taper from. Do you have a doctor willing to prescribe?

I have been skipping days recently with no ill effects that I can tell. Earlier on (this started around the time of George Floyd) there were times when I really did not want to skip days and felt like I could not due to the amount of anxiety I was experiencing.

 

I do not have anyone willing to prescribe, but I have an ample supply of benzos. The trick is not needing to use it, or using as little as possible as infrequently as possible! I agree completely that benzos can be quite addictive and the withdrawal can be profound, so having doctors be unwilling to prescribe benzos (or strictly short term if they do) is probably correct.

 

Though from what I read, and what my therapist and psychiatrist said (before she fired me, anyway), Xanax is kinda the worst of the benzos for withdrawal due to how fast it works. Due to the heightened danger, I wanted to get off the Xanax quickly, which is why I transitioned to the Valium, and then the Klonopin. My therapist has some very scary stories about his clients (anonymized of course) and horrible Xanax withdrawal. He said one of his clients was up to 8mg/day (!).

 

I’d also like to add, I live in CA too and the wildfires have been terrifying for me. Something that has helped me to cope is having a go-bag ready to go so if we need to evacuate we don’t have to scramble.

Yes, I have been mining the wirecutter lists for disaster prep and I've gone a little nuts, frankly. Pretty much bought every item on their lists, for earthquake, wildfire, and general preparedness. But at least we have 21 gallons of water stored now in proper storage containers...

 

I just wanted to let you know, that you're not alone with the confusion.  I've seen other web sites that people talk about use of benzos for Years and comfortable with that, as it has kept them feeling "normal", after a life of anxiety, fear, etc.  People using 30, 40 years, 70 and 80 years old.

 

I am not advocating anything being right or wrong and find I'm conflicted and change my thinking every time I read either a positive story or horrible story.  But, I do wonder why I found, BB and am trying to keep open and let you know,

 

You Are Not Alone!

My therapist says he treats a guy who has been taking 0.25mg xanax every day for decades.

 

I tend to agree that long term benzo use is basically never a good idea, you gotta deal with the root issues behind your anxiety, but there are some people who seem to have pulled it off, for better or worse..

 

I will say that when November 3rd rolls around I am gonna be SUPER stressed.. ugh.