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I need advice


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I'm sorry to post again but I'm really suffering beyond what I can handle anymore. If you have read any of my posts you know I'm dealing with extreme mental symptoms in the form of looping and racing thoughts 24/7.  I rapidly tapered clonazepam 20 months ago and was put on Remeron in month 8. It didn't help and I believe created a lot more symptoms.

 

I am currently holding at 8.45mg of Remeron for 45 days.  I'm down from 15mg since I started my taper in April. Part of me thinks I need to come off this crap faster because it's going to take me another year and more to tapered off and I think it's just making me sicker.

I'm 3 months cigarette free and my diet is very clean. 

 

I'm desperate beyond imagination. I have never had a window or moment or distraction.

 

I'm asking for recommendations that I can compare to my situation and see what might be best for me.

 

I don't think reinstating would work for me since I was only on for about a month before they turned on me.

 

Please guys help me.

 

 

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  My circumstances are different but I do have shorter term experience with the 24/7 intrusive thoughts in conjunction with AD withdrawals.  If anything from my personal experience thus far could possibly be helpful then feel free to ask anything.

  I will say that AD withdrawals are excruciating in the mental symptoms for me, but recently I have seen a few minutes of not being as swamped by the hyper awareness and uncontrollable lines of pressured thought that I get fixated on. 

  I obviously don't have any great absolute answers.  If there is any information to be gleaned from my shorter time post benzo, ask me anything you want.

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Hi Myke. Thanks for the reply. I didnt realize you were only 4 months off benzos.  Its quite possible the AD is covering symtoms at this point for you. 4 months is still the thick of it. In my case im 20 months off benzos. I dont feel any dramatic change when i cut remeron. Im stuck in hell regardless.
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Totally agree that it is difficult for me to identify what is benzo, Paxil or overlapping each other.

  Do you not have withdrawals from remeron? 

  I have very obvious Paxil withdrawals(have been through them prior to benzos) every cut, but am totally clueless if I am or am not having a benzo wave/window.

 

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Hi Myke. Thanks for the reply. I didnt realize you were only 4 months off benzos.  Its quite possible the AD is covering symtoms at this point for you. 4 months is still the thick of it. In my case im 20 months off benzos. I dont feel any dramatic change when i cut remeron. Im stuck in hell regardless.

 

Maybe it would be helpful to go back up on Remeron? It didn't help me much at 15 mg but when I went up to 22.5 mg, it did. I would stay on Remeron for a year and then try to taper it if I were you. But I'm not:)

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Hi Myke. Thanks for the reply. I didnt realize you were only 4 months off benzos.  Its quite possible the AD is covering symtoms at this point for you. 4 months is still the thick of it. In my case im 20 months off benzos. I dont feel any dramatic change when i cut remeron. Im stuck in hell regardless.

 

Maybe it would be helpful to go back up on Remeron? It didn't help me much at 15 mg but when I went up to 22.5 mg, it did. I would stay on Remeron for a year and then try to taper it if I were you. But I'm not:)

 

No way. I tried to go up to 22.5 for 3 days at the beginning and it gave me extreme akathisia. I spent 5 months getting off remeron i would never go back up. This drug is toxic poison.

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I see you praising remeron a lot. Im glad it worked for you but it destroyed many people on top of benzos. Based on your posts you have had a pretty easy go getting of benzos thus far. Unfortunately, my mind has been destroyed from these drugs from short term use. 
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Anyone else been or know anyone that has been in a similar situations with severe mental symtoms like this. I cant do this for much longer. Everyone says keep going but arent suffering this bad.
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I see you praising remeron a lot. Im glad it worked for you but it destroyed many people on top of benzos. Based on your posts you have had a pretty easy go getting of benzos thus far. Unfortunately, my mind has been destroyed from these drugs from short term use.

 

I think I'm having an easier time because I didn't CT my benzo. I actually stopped it for 4 days and then didn't understand why I was getting worse and then came on benzobuddies and realized I had to get back on it. I did and then switched to clonazepam and tapered too fast and was in a bad shape. I then sought out a doctor familiar with Ashton, he switched me to Valium and I've had a much easier taper since then. In the end I didn't do anything special just what Ashton recommends. It works.

 

Remeron is not toxic poison for most people. In addition many polydrugged people blame Remeron for the side-effects of other drugs they are taking.

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I see you praising remeron a lot. Im glad it worked for you but it destroyed many people on top of benzos. Based on your posts you have had a pretty easy go getting of benzos thus far. Unfortunately, my mind has been destroyed from these drugs from short term use.

 

I think I'm having an easier time because I didn't CT my benzo. I actually stopped it for 4 days and then didn't understand why I was getting worse and then came on benzobuddies and realized I had to get back on it. I did and then switched to clonazepam and tapered too fast and was in a bad shape. I then sought out a doctor familiar with Ashton, he switched me to Valium and I've had a much easier taper since then. In the end I didn't do anything special just what Ashton recommends. It works.

 

Remeron is not toxic poison for most people. In addition many polydrugged people blame Remeron for the side-effects of other drugs they are taking.

 

You haven't tried fo come off remeron yet so you cant say anything about it until then. Hopefully you wont get into trouble from it.

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I see you praising remeron a lot. Im glad it worked for you but it destroyed many people on top of benzos. Based on your posts you have had a pretty easy go getting of benzos thus far. Unfortunately, my mind has been destroyed from these drugs from short term use.

 

I think I'm having an easier time because I didn't CT my benzo. I actually stopped it for 4 days and then didn't understand why I was getting worse and then came on benzobuddies and realized I had to get back on it. I did and then switched to clonazepam and tapered too fast and was in a bad shape. I then sought out a doctor familiar with Ashton, he switched me to Valium and I've had a much easier taper since then. In the end I didn't do anything special just what Ashton recommends. It works.

 

Remeron is not toxic poison for most people. In addition many polydrugged people blame Remeron for the side-effects of other drugs they are taking.

 

Also i had no choice to rapid taper clonazepam. It turned on me in 3.5 weeks and every dose i took was paradoxical. No doctor would prescribe it to me either.

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Hey Perth, I'm sorry for your suffering. I did view your post, but since I have no experience with Remeron, I didn't have anything to say. I do agree that this forum is less helpful when you get a ton of views and hardly any responses. I think it would be considerate to at least leave a word of encouragement or something. I am starting to only view this site every now and then. You may get more help on an AD website? There's one out there but I don't know the name. I really do empathize with your suffering.
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Hey Perth, I'm sorry for your suffering. I did view your post, but since I have no experience with Remeron, I didn't have anything to say. I do agree that this forum is less helpful when you get a ton of views and hardly any responses. I think it would be considerate to at least leave a word of encouragement or something. I am starting to only view this site every now and then. You may get more help on an AD website? There's one out there but I don't know the name. I really do empathize with your suffering.

 

Thanks. It seems like if you look at posts back a few years people were a lot more involved and gave their opinions. I don't like the survivingantidepressants website. The person who runs it is extremely rude.

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Ah Perthy, I wish I saw this sooner so you felt more supported!

 

I think people might just be struggling to know what to recommend. It's not that your case is hopeless, it just seems that you're already doing everything you can do and everything you need to do. So all I can say is keep going, because it's a matter of time before things get better for you.

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I see you praising remeron a lot. Im glad it worked for you but it destroyed many people on top of benzos. Based on your posts you have had a pretty easy go getting of benzos thus far. Unfortunately, my mind has been destroyed from these drugs from short term use.

 

I think I'm having an easier time because I didn't CT my benzo. I actually stopped it for 4 days and then didn't understand why I was getting worse and then came on benzobuddies and realized I had to get back on it. I did and then switched to clonazepam and tapered too fast and was in a bad shape. I then sought out a doctor familiar with Ashton, he switched me to Valium and I've had a much easier taper since then. In the end I didn't do anything special just what Ashton recommends. It works.

 

Remeron is not toxic poison for most people. In addition many polydrugged people blame Remeron for the side-effects of other drugs they are taking.

 

You haven't tried fo come off remeron yet so you cant say anything about it until then. Hopefully you wont get into trouble from it.

 

I can say that so far it has helped me a lot. And it helped others. Look up Builder.

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Hi Perth I have sometimes felt unsupported on here too, but Diaz is right sometimes people don't know what else to suggest. I had adverse reaction to anti depressants which sent my intrusive thoughts off the scale think because not everyone has this it's harder to find those with same experience. There are others in same position with prolonged symptoms. I would urge you to try surviving anti depressants not as friendly as here but they do have useful information more specific to anti depressants. I'm just about to try psychotherapy if you can find the right one it can be of great use if you haven't tried it anything is worth a go?
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Good luck with the psychotherapy. I hope you like it enough at first not to be put off... I heard it takes time to build a relationship to really see the benefits although there might be an immediate benefit in speaking your thoughts to a good listener.
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Thanks can but try. Got zero help from NHS. Think you had problems with anti depressants as well? Don't warn you about that, GP  just kept saying try different ones!
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Hi Perth

Look at my signature. I am on amitriptyline (have been for many years). Like you, I feel this is a poison and would like to taper fast but.... my CNS is too sensitive from the benzo cold turkey. In fact, I am now thinking of a long hold on ami. The idea is that you should fight one battle at a time.... Heal from benzo first then taper your AD in time, slowly.

It will take years probably...

SG

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Hi Perth

Look at my signature. I am on amitriptyline (have been for many years). Like you, I feel this is a poison and would like to taper fast but.... my CNS is too sensitive from the benzo cold turkey. In fact, I am now thinking of a long hold on ami. The idea is that you should fight one battle at a time.... Heal from benzo first then taper your AD in time, slowly.

It will take years probably...

SG

 

Hi Surrey.

 

I have been told to wait before tapering remeron but i think certain cases you just need to get off everything especially if you are not stable while on another drug.  I know a few buddies and one in particular who is nearly 5 years off benzos and on an SSRI. He is waiting to heal from the benzo damage but its obvious the SSRI is preventing healing and causing the problems.

 

I think those that were on other drugs before the benzo taper or cold turkey should wait like you but i was put on this toxin after benzo cold turkey.

 

Im not going to spend another 3 years waiting and another 6 years healing after that when i probably could taper somewhat slowly now.

 

If you are stable and Functioning then yes i would say hold but i have 0 functioning and just surviving at this point

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You haven't tried fo come off remeron yet so you cant say anything about it until then. Hopefully you wont get into trouble from it.

 

I can say that so far it has helped me a lot. And it helped others. Look up Builder.

 

Carry on microtapering and I don't think you should have trouble getting off mirtazapine. Other than builder, it helped susieJ, eli1111 and Parker. All 3 were in a very bad way and with adverse responses to SSRIs etc. I tapered my mirtazapine after my benzo and was able to do a quick taper because of the lack of withdrawals. I'm not saying that members here DO NOT suffer mirtazapine withdrawals but I've never seen mirtazapine withdrawal stories or sections in discussion boards on antidepressants on the net. That said, it's also true that people are sometimes quick to form conclusions and end up wrongly implicating a drug or an incident for their symptoms. I don't blame them either for its natural to want an answer for everything even when the complexity of the situation is beyond one's means to tackle. Again, I'm not belittling anyone's experiences. It's impossible for us to say with any confidence what the other person is going through, esp. through a web forum.

 

Wish you the best for the remainder of your journey.

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Hey Perth,

You know I always feel bad for your situation :'(

Remember, I'm the one that had the stuck looping thoughts and pictures during postpartum, not from benzos mind you, but I still understand the relentless brutal torture of it day after day, week after week, month after month...second after second.

 

When I think about your situation I figure, try not to analyze to much and just think about your logical options:

 

1. Keep tapering slowly off Remeron and who knows?

2. Do a more rapid taper off Remeron, you will probably feel like shit, but at least you will be off?

3. CT Remeron...not my recommendation

4. WHILE rapid tapering Remeron, try crossing over to another med if you think you need to (ie thoughts getting worse and you feel you don't have a choice but to try something else)

5. Once off Remeron start a new med if you need

6.Or once off Remeron, stay off all meds and just see how you do from there.

 

I mean thats pretty much it! From the outside looking at the screen, anyway ;)

And I would try and have a really good support person to hang with you during the change... whatever it may be. If that's possible.

 

My OPINION if you want it:

I would do number 2 with a doctor

Then see if I could stay off all, or if I needed to do something else along the way or after I was off.

 

:smitten:

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