Has anyone been in severe withdrawal tolerance before they began their taper?

[[li...]]

I feel like Im barely hanging on. I have held my .5mg dose for 11 years with no problems and that was such a huge mistake. Since I had so many serious health problems and such a poor qualtiy of life (not from being on benzo) the benzo was making me functional enough to survive and even be able to go out and do yoga and dance classes etc and be in a relationship.Of course now Im single and alone and bedridden and absolutely terrifed. I feel like Im dying. Its so horrific and it started from change of generic manufactuer. I didnt realaize I was basically kindling myslef by the way it metabolized in my system. When I ate it with food it drugged me up to the extreme which I never had with other generics. I didnt feel drugged up when I tool the other ones and it felt staable in my system. I tried to take it a couple of hours before food and it still had an effect but not as intense. Over time it got worse and worse and then I found my old generic at an independent drug store and tried it a couple of months ago. It put me in withdrawls but actually it wasnt so bad until the 3rd day where I hd such anxiety. I should have rode it out though as I wold have been better off. I think I didnt give it enugh time to adjust and listened to a nonbenzo friend's advice to go back on the other one I was on and I wsnt thinking straight so I did and it drugged me up so much for the  first few days which made me realzie how much potent the other3 one was. After a few dayus it wore off and put me in severe tolerence withdrawls. I became so senstive to evertying and food and things would make it either more effective or less effective and up and dow2n and up and down and cant even imagine how kindled I must be with this generic. Its so bad that Im in so much terror with my symptoms and cant imagine surviving getting off of this even with micro taper.  I am getting barely any sleep and nothing seems to help me Im sensitve to everything even homeopathic remedies. Its my fualt I screwed p and now Im paying the price in a huge huge way.  :'( :'( :'( 

[[li...]]

Hi lila7, yes I was on 1.75mg once a day of clonazapam (Solco) and started getting interdose withdrawal - rebound anxiety and feeling like the world is a scary place; racing heart, sense of doom. Decided to titrate anyway and get off this poison but yeah, I’m trying to go slow this time around. Learned my lesson the hard way. The only way I’m coping is by staying in my bed cocooned from stimuli and distracting my brain with movies and podcasts or crying to my sisters on the phone.

 

I can’t give you any helpful suggestions but thought I’d just reach out because this benzo trap/hell is so scary and isolating. I’m single and my sisters and parents try to help but they really don’t understand benzo withdrawal.

 

My heart goes out to you. I read your story.

[[...]]

I can relate to this because I moved overseas for a year. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was taking my normal 2 and a half mgs of xanax every day at that time. When I ran out, I got a prescription there for a different generic. I had awful problems. I was shaky, it didn't seem to work, I had breakthrough panic. I spoke to the pharmacist. I was in a third world country and she said that it was very possible that the generic I was using had less of the medicine in it. Apparently it can vary. I just had to put up with it since I didn't have any other options. It was a rough year. I was already nervous and anxious from the move and then the medication.

 

I don't think you screwed anything up. We are all just doing the best we can. I was doing what my doctor told me. I never even knew this stuff caused dependance. I was on it for years before doctors admitted that to me.

 

I would try to get stable if you can before you start tapering. Once you are feeling strong, maybe do a slow taper of 5 to 10 percent at a time. 

[[li...]]

Thanks both of you to your support. How do I stabalize on my dose before I taper if Im in tolerance?  I just got a text from a friend that I love and known for 30 years who has been calling me up every night to pray with me and kept me hanging on since this ordeal started that she needs a break from taking and praying with me. I was crying so much because Im in isolation and have no more friends to talk to. I used to have a llot of friends priro to this and she knows I dont want to live and Im suffering so incrediby much. I understand its too much for others to deal with but this is the worse timing ever. I dont know if a break is an excuse and it will be it. She knows she is the only person I talk to. I dont have the support of family. This friend and another encouraged me to stay broken up with my bf when I was thinking of reaching otu to him. Its too late now but I would have rahter been in not the best realtionship than alone and completely isolated with nobody to talk to or take care of me. My friend who prayed for me told me that she will not give up on me and we must pray everydya and not skip days.  I have nobody now. She didnt live here locally but at least a good friend to kee;p in touch with. 

[[Sh...]]

I hit interdose and haven’t ever really stabilized but I’m on different meds to you. I am lucky to get a 4 hr night of sleep. Most nights 2/3. I don’t haven many friends that know about what’s going on but I have my family. It’s very difficult for people supporting us because although they want to help there is literally nothing they can do. I think seeing the suffering of s Leone u care for us very difficult. I’m sure she will come back to you but if not u have all of us x some wonderful people on here x

[[...]]

Thanks both of you to your support. How do I stabalize on my dose before I taper if Im in tolerance?  I just got a text from a friend that I love and known for 30 years who has been calling me up every night to pray with me and kept me hanging on since this ordeal started that she needs a break from taking and praying with me. I was crying so much because Im in isolation and have no more friends to talk to. I used to have a llot of friends priro to this and she knows I dont want to live and Im suffering so incrediby much. I understand its too much for others to deal with but this is the worse timing ever. I dont know if a break is an excuse and it will be it. She knows she is the only person I talk to. I dont have the support of family. This friend and another encouraged me to stay broken up with my bf when I was thinking of reaching otu to him. Its too late now but I would have rahter been in not the best realtionship than alone and completely isolated with nobody to talk to or take care of me. My friend who prayed for me told me that she will not give up on me and we must pray everydya and not skip days.  I have nobody now. She didnt live here locally but at least a good friend to kee;p in touch with.

 

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. It's such a difficult thing to go through and we are in such strange and isolating times. I'm sorry about your friend. It's hard for others to understand what we are going through. It is very taxing for my husband and I find myself talking about it with him too often and he sometimes needs a break from it too. I hope you start to feel a little better.

 

As far as how to stabilize, in my case, if I'm feeling bad and having a rough time, I just hold on what ever dose I'm on and try to ride it out. If it's severe, you may want to talk to your doctor or figure out what to do from there. But, in my experience, if I can get through the rough time, things will usually start to improve and then I just hold for however long it takes for me to feel stable again. I never feel 100 percent but I just mean I get to the point where I'm not having a ton of symptoms and I'm not falling apart.

 

I hope you start to feel better soon! 

[[li...]]

Thanks SRR . I cant stop crying. I really am at my worst and it has affected my withdrawals the stress of this. I am still in shock as she knows about my toxic family and how I am alone now and my agony.  I probably wont be able to sleep all night from th stress but also today my withdrawas have been the worst before I even got her text. I texted her back and then She wrote that she was impatient for a breakthrough and that every time we pray I let fear and doubt in.  She says I need to pray on my own which is not what she believes in so it feels like an excuse and that I will have a breakthrough.  I havent even began tapering yet its a very long process. She knows me for 30 years she knows I wasnt like this before. I had this fear she would eventually abandon me if I shared everything with her. I had this fear and it came true.  It feels the worse possible time and she didnt give me a warning. It is a shock to my system.  She really helped me get through this because I dont have much will to live with my other health issues let alone the withdrawals to add to it. She has such a beautiful heart and her words were so healing to me and the loss of that when Im this terrified.  I am having a hard time to get over i. I wish I didnt listen to her and got in touch with my ex bf and made amends and we would quarrentine together. It was not a good relatonship but it was better than what Im going through now alone. Back when we were togethr I wasnt in withdrawals and I doubt he will wnat me in this condition. I just feel crushed and it has affected my health. How can s he not know this woudlnt affect me and my health?  I do believe one of our mutual friends influenced her. She told me they talked about me 2 days before she stopped praying for me. I used to be a private person and people didnt even know I was on a benzo but when I was going through this hell I was so desperate I let my friends know what I was going through. Big mistake. Anytime I expressed concern that Im worried Im a burden she said Im not. Even in her last text she said Im not. 

[[Gr...]]

Hi lila7.  I was in tolerance withdrawal before I started tapering, but I'm not sure that is exactly what you are going through, since it started from a change in the maker of the pill you are taking. It sounds like what also happened to SSR, that some pills have more or less of the actual medicine in them.  Is there any way to go back to the one you were taking before?  That's so frustrating that they are not equivalent pills.

 

Also, I'm sorry you feel abandoned by your friend.  It sounds like she cares for you very much and maybe that is in part, why she needs a break.  Not helpful for you right now though. 

[[li...]]

Hi lila7.  I was in tolerance withdrawal before I started tapering, but I'm not sure that is exactly what you are going through, since it started from a change in the maker of the pill you are taking. It sounds like what also happened to SSR, that some pills have more or less of the actual medicine in them.  Is there any way to go back to the one you were taking before?  That's so frustrating that they are not equivalent pills.

 

Also, I'm sorry you feel abandoned by your friend.  It sounds like she cares for you very much and maybe that is in part, why she needs a break.  Not helpful for you right now though.

 

It feels like I didnt take any klonpin at all and I went back on the one that was more potent but it feels as if I cold turkeyed the klonopin. It is so scary. which is why Im afraif of tapering

[[2c...]]

Hi Lila. I, too, held a dose for  years because I thought I was doing ok with it.  It’s ok, don’t beat yourself up about that. You can’t change it.  We all do what we think is right for us at the moment.  I’m just at the point of starting again to taper and having WD . It’s bad and I’m scared but I know we’re both going to be ok.  Everyone on this sight has either gone through this or is going through it and even though it seems to us now that we can’t do it, I believe we can!!! We deserve to live our best life and we can do it!

  This community seems to be very supportive and will help us get through it.

[Guest [bl...]]

I feel like Im barely hanging on. I have held my .5mg dose for 11 years with no problems and that was such a huge mistake. Since I had so many serious health problems and such a poor qualtiy of life (not from being on benzo) the benzo was making me functional enough to survive and even be able to go out and do yoga and dance classes etc and be in a relationship.Of course now Im single and alone and bedridden and absolutely terrifed. I feel like Im dying. Its so horrific and it started from change of generic manufactuer. I didnt realaize I was basically kindling myslef by the way it metabolized in my system. When I ate it with food it drugged me up to the extreme which I never had with other generics. I didnt feel drugged up when I tool the other ones and it felt staable in my system. I tried to take it a couple of hours before food and it still had an effect but not as intense. Over time it got worse and worse and then I found my old generic at an independent drug store and tried it a couple of months ago. It put me in withdrawls but actually it wasnt so bad until the 3rd day where I hd such anxiety. I should have rode it out though as I wold have been better off. I think I didnt give it enugh time to adjust and listened to a nonbenzo friend's advice to go back on the other one I was on and I wsnt thinking straight so I did and it drugged me up so much for the  first few days which made me realzie how much potent the other3 one was. After a few dayus it wore off and put me in severe tolerence withdrawls. I became so senstive to evertying and food and things would make it either more effective or less effective and up and dow2n and up and down and cant even imagine how kindled I must be with this generic. Its so bad that Im in so much terror with my symptoms and cant imagine surviving getting off of this even with micro taper.  I am getting barely any sleep and nothing seems to help me Im sensitve to everything even homeopathic remedies. Its my fualt I screwed p and now Im paying the price in a huge huge way.  :'( :'( :'(

 

Please avoid tapering in tolerance. It's very hard even though people have done it. I wish I could tell you an effective way to get out of tolerance but each person is different. I did a dry cut in tolerance and lost all my sanity. I decided I could not taper that way and struggled very hard for the next one month to start an AD. After the AD kicked in, I had no problem tapering off the benzo.

[[pi...]]

Hello lila7,

 

It appears that the change of manufacturer has really affected you, this is not uncommon. I would also suggest you stabilize a little before starting a taper. Can you obtain the brand that you felt OK on?  It's best to find the lowest possible dose that helps alleviate some of the symptoms.

 

I was in tolerance, unknowingly, for a long time. Many trips to the ER and many tests, all with normal results. I had no choice but to start tapering because the drug was making me very sick. It can be done.

 

I would also be wary of adding adjunct medications like AD's. While some people might find them helpful, I've also read many many reports of negative reactions.

 

Let us know how we can help.

 

pianogirl 

[[li...]]

Hello lila7,

 

It appears that the change of manufacturer has really affected you, this is not uncommon. I would also suggest you stabilize a little before starting a taper. Can you obtain the brand that you felt OK on?  It's best to find the lowest possible dose that helps alleviate some of the symptoms.

 

I was in tolerance, unknowingly, for a long time. Many trips to the ER and many tests, all with normal results. I had no choice but to start tapering because the drug was making me very sick. It can be done.

 

I would also be wary of adding adjunct medications like AD's. While some people might find them helpful, I've also read many many reports of negative reactions.

 

Let us know how we can help.

 

pianogirl 

 

Oh painogirl things have gotten out of control how bad things have become. In the last 2 months I must have kindled myself several times unintentionally. I did try to find the other generic that worked well and I tried it for 3 days. I could tell it wasnt working like it used to but I didnt think at the time I may need an adjustment period. I was so anxious and panicked on the third day I didnt know what to do. My friend who knows nothng about benzos said why dont you just go back on the one you were on before. If she didnt say it I think I would have ride it out. I really do.  I am so fragile that I listen to others advice because I dont trust my own instincts since so many bad things happened with poor deicisons in the past that were life altering for my health. When I went back on it, was so ;potent it drugged me up for 3 days and then stopped working and everything went even more haywire more than before. Things interacted more with it.  Would either make it more potent or less potent depending what I ate and when I took the med like 2 hours before a meal or 1.5 hours before a meal. If i took it on an empay stomach it felt like I cold turkey'ed it. Im in such bad shape right now I can hardly get ouf bed and feel like Im fighting for my life. I have no real support system. Nobody to take care of me. I am so terrifed. My friends judge me for my terro but they are not in my body they would be too if they experienced what I did.  I dont know what to do because I have such painful impacted wisdom teeth and feel like they are killking me but how can I do it in the condition I am in? I cant even handle one drop of a homoepathic remedy without a reaction? How can I handle anesthsida and gthe drugs that go with it which will interact with my benzo and put me in furthe3r withdrawls while I try to heal from the surgery. I feel Im one of those difficult cases so difficult that I dont know how I will get off the benzo. I dont think it is possible for me and my circumstance yet I cant do anything. I am so scared to try a different generic because of my severe reactions and also have nobody tot ake care of me. My friend even stopped praying for me everyday the one who said she would never abandon me and knew she was what kept me going. She broke my heart.  Since she said that I deteroiated quickly the past 3 days. I have very little will and strength to hang in there.

[[li...]]

I feel like Im barely hanging on. I have held my .5mg dose for 11 years with no problems and that was such a huge mistake. Since I had so many serious health problems and such a poor qualtiy of life (not from being on benzo) the benzo was making me functional enough to survive and even be able to go out and do yoga and dance classes etc and be in a relationship.Of course now Im single and alone and bedridden and absolutely terrifed. I feel like Im dying. Its so horrific and it started from change of generic manufactuer. I didnt realaize I was basically kindling myslef by the way it metabolized in my system. When I ate it with food it drugged me up to the extreme which I never had with other generics. I didnt feel drugged up when I tool the other ones and it felt staable in my system. I tried to take it a couple of hours before food and it still had an effect but not as intense. Over time it got worse and worse and then I found my old generic at an independent drug store and tried it a couple of months ago. It put me in withdrawls but actually it wasnt so bad until the 3rd day where I hd such anxiety. I should have rode it out though as I wold have been better off. I think I didnt give it enugh time to adjust and listened to a nonbenzo friend's advice to go back on the other one I was on and I wsnt thinking straight so I did and it drugged me up so much for the  first few days which made me realzie how much potent the other3 one was. After a few dayus it wore off and put me in severe tolerence withdrawls. I became so senstive to evertying and food and things would make it either more effective or less effective and up and dow2n and up and down and cant even imagine how kindled I must be with this generic. Its so bad that Im in so much terror with my symptoms and cant imagine surviving getting off of this even with micro taper.  I am getting barely any sleep and nothing seems to help me Im sensitve to everything even homeopathic remedies. Its my fualt I screwed p and now Im paying the price in a huge huge way.  :'( :'( :'(

 

Please avoid tapering in tolerance. It's very hard even though people have done it. I wish I could tell you an effective way to get out of tolerance but each person is different. I did a dry cut in tolerance and lost all my sanity. I decided I could not taper that way and struggled very hard for the next one month to start an AD. After the AD kicked in, I had no problem tapering off the benzo.

 

I dont think I can take any AD or any meds because everything affects me. Curious what AD worked for you?

[[Su...]]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am also in severe tolerance, and like you was stable on Klonopin for a while which allowed me to live “better” after a spinal injury. I started reaching tolerance right before my brand was discontinued. But after having to switch brands, things got worse. So I feel for you. It’s like a different drug.  I was able to stabilize for a short period of time on the new one, but my tolerance has increased, as has my pain, on the new brand over time.

 

I wish I had something that I could say helped. I would say it takes some time to feel better on new brand. And sometimes dosage has to be adjusted.  But once you feel a bit better, then maybe you can start tapering? I don’t think that the back and forth has left you feeling this way for good. Things will get better just stay with one brand.

 

It’s tough. I am also dealing with chronic UTI and antibiotics which are not helping.

 

Hang in there. 💜

[Guest [bl...]]

I feel like Im barely hanging on. I have held my .5mg dose for 11 years with no problems and that was such a huge mistake. Since I had so many serious health problems and such a poor qualtiy of life (not from being on benzo) the benzo was making me functional enough to survive and even be able to go out and do yoga and dance classes etc and be in a relationship.Of course now Im single and alone and bedridden and absolutely terrifed. I feel like Im dying. Its so horrific and it started from change of generic manufactuer. I didnt realaize I was basically kindling myslef by the way it metabolized in my system. When I ate it with food it drugged me up to the extreme which I never had with other generics. I didnt feel drugged up when I tool the other ones and it felt staable in my system. I tried to take it a couple of hours before food and it still had an effect but not as intense. Over time it got worse and worse and then I found my old generic at an independent drug store and tried it a couple of months ago. It put me in withdrawls but actually it wasnt so bad until the 3rd day where I hd such anxiety. I should have rode it out though as I wold have been better off. I think I didnt give it enugh time to adjust and listened to a nonbenzo friend's advice to go back on the other one I was on and I wsnt thinking straight so I did and it drugged me up so much for the  first few days which made me realzie how much potent the other3 one was. After a few dayus it wore off and put me in severe tolerence withdrawls. I became so senstive to evertying and food and things would make it either more effective or less effective and up and dow2n and up and down and cant even imagine how kindled I must be with this generic. Its so bad that Im in so much terror with my symptoms and cant imagine surviving getting off of this even with micro taper.  I am getting barely any sleep and nothing seems to help me Im sensitve to everything even homeopathic remedies. Its my fualt I screwed p and now Im paying the price in a huge huge way.  :'( :'( :'(

 

Please avoid tapering in tolerance. It's very hard even though people have done it. I wish I could tell you an effective way to get out of tolerance but each person is different. I did a dry cut in tolerance and lost all my sanity. I decided I could not taper that way and struggled very hard for the next one month to start an AD. After the AD kicked in, I had no problem tapering off the benzo.

 

I dont think I can take any AD or any meds because everything affects me. Curious what AD worked for you?

 

Fluoxetine worked for me! I was in pretty bad tolerance.

 

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