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hello everyone...been lurking for 9 months, decided to introduce myself


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hello everyone,


I have been on the site for 9 months and decided i should share my info for those who may have similar experience.


i believe this all started by being prescribed cymbalta for depression beginning 1/14 by a psychiatrist.


about 1.5 year later started having panic attacks and was started on xanax in 8/15.  averaged about 0.25 mg/day for 2.8 years.  would typically take to help get to sleep or if having bad anxiety during the day.


over this time (did not realize at the time) developed tolerance and began having worsening anxiety, fits of rage, trouble sleeping, etc.


was switched to ativan 5/18.  averaged 0.25 mg/day for 1.2 years.


again, over time anxiety worsened and also began having suicidal ideation. 


was switched to klonopin 7/19.  averaged 0.25 mg for 6 months. 


things went downhill quickly.  horrible thoughts, suicidal ideation, could not think or function mentally or physically. 


i initially thought it was the cymbalta (after having been on for almost 6 years, and was told that it could not be the benzos since i was taking so little).  so i weaned off cymbalta over a month.  did not help much. 


continued looking for answers and found the ashton manual and this site and was in disbelief.  i was having such horrible interdose withdrawl symptoms and suicidal ideation that i could not see how i could spend a year or more tapering.


i was able to get a prescription for valium from a different doctor and did a quick taper from 5mg over about a month in january of this year.  i took my last sliver on 1/26/20 so im at almost 7.5 months off now.


Things are slowly improving and have had some windows of normalcy which give me hope.  But most days mentally and physically i’m just not where I used to be.


Hoping to get more help from this site and give help where I can by relating my experience to others.




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Hello wilson10 :hug:  Welcome to Benzobuddies


I'm so glad you decided to join the forum, you will get plenty of support here.  Congratulations on being benzo free!  It’s nothing unusual to still have symptoms this far out, it can take quite a while but they will resolve given more time.    I am glad you’ve  had some windows, it’s great to have that glimpse of the future.    Distraction helps, if you can try to take your thoughts away from how bad you feel… focus on something else.  Keep reminding yourself that its temporary, you will get there! it does get better.


I would suggest you read The Ashton Manual, reading this will give you a better understanding on why you feel the way you do.  It is a great resource for understanding the effect benzo’s have on our body, It also includes a list of common symptoms 


Here are a few helpful links


The Ashton Manual

Post withdrawal recovery support


If you would like to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) to help members give you relevant advice.  Go to the top of the page and select PROFILE then choose forum profile then insert drug history into the text box and remember to click change profile


Welcome aboard



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