Feeling flat/dysphoria/disconnected

[[De...]]

Hello everyone.

 

Looking for some reassurance on a few Symtoms I am experiencing. I c/t alprazolam (.25mg to .5mg 2x a day). My last dose was Wednesday Sept 2nd at 11pm. Prior to stopping I was having severe panic/anxiety/Constant crying/insomnia for a week straight. As I stopped taking the alprazolam my symptoms got better each day. But now I have a new one that is really bothering me. The day after the panic/anxiety/crying stopped, I felt emotionally flat. Almost like my brain was literally numb. And it was kind of an intense feeling but a welcomed one after feeling 24/7 adrenaline horror for a week. The numbness feeling has lessened but I still feel heavy headed/disconnected from my head if that makes sense. Almost like there is a cover over my brain keeping me from feeling like myself.

 

Looking to hear from people that have experienced this and it went away? I have been distracting myself the best I can and it does help. I did have some laughs with my kids yesterday that weren’t forced but still didn’t feel like me if that makes sense?

 

Other symptoms have gotten better. Anxiety tries to creep in but I’m managing with deep breathing exercises and positive thinking. Muscle spasms have lessened, appetite is coming back slowly. GI symptoms on the first day off have resolved, loud noise sensitivity is lessening. I would trade the physical symptoms for the mental one!

 

Thank you for reading and hoping to hear from someone who has gotten better from this. You’re all blessings for helping and offering support.

[[ma...]]

Hello DesperateMom

 

It is all perfectly normal,  many if not all of us have experienced this,  it's temporary, and it will get better.  Its good to hear that other symptoms have gotten better.    Being able to laugh with your kids, thats wonderful!    I never thought i would laugh again and when it happened for me, it gave me the strength I needed to get me to the finish line. 

 

You will come through this, and you will recover too. Well done managing your anxiety..keep distracting best you can

 

Magrita

 

 

[[De...]]

Hello DesperateMom

 

It is all perfectly normal,  many if not all of us have experienced this,  it's temporary, and it will get better.  Its good to hear that other symptoms have gotten better.    Being able to laugh with your kids, thats wonderful!    I never thought i would laugh again and when it happened for me, it gave me the strength I needed to get me to the finish line. 

 

You will come through this, and you will recover too. Well done managing your anxiety..keep distracting best you can

 

Magrita

 

 

Thank you so much! Reading this last night helped me have a more relaxing evening ❤️

Edit: Mixed Quote

[[tr...]]

Just jumping in to second what Magrita said. Totally normal what you are going through. I always say that the emotional stuff feels like a clock pendulum..it swings wide for awhile...from intense emotions to horrible dead flatness. It will balance out eventually. Its a good sign that you are able to engage with your kids the way you did. My kids and family have been a driving force in my recovery. It helps to keep focus don the goal and on some days a reason to go on.

 

CT can be intense and recovery definitely has windows and waves. On here we like to remind people this is a marathon and not a sprint..but there is definitely a finish line:) We're here on the sidelines to cheer you on (I'm actually personally still in the race....just a few ahead of you ).

 

I promise there are breaks. you can do this.

[[De...]]

Thank you so much. I really hate not feeling like myself or like I’m not in my body. I feel like my mind is broken forever and it makes me so sad. I thought I was doing ok with it but it’s been eating at me all day no matter how busy I kept myself. It can feel so distressing. 😭

[[di...]]

Oh dear DesMom!

 

I just look at you and go "wow, what a brave woman to keep going!". Believe me, you are amazing! I know it's kind of sad to not feel fully present for your kids but remember that a lot of this is in your mind. If you are there, they certainly know that you are with them even if you feel like you are not all there. You don't need to feel guilty at all, is what I am saying. One day soon enough, you will feel much more at one with the world.

 

[[De...]]

Wow. Thank you BAM! The support and encouragement from this group is priceless. I don’t know what I would do without it. Nobody understands me. And while my family is extremely supportive, it’s not the same. Praying for the day I can come here and say I made it to the other side! Soon!

[[su...]]

I haven’t commented on any other boards really except the Ativan support board, just lurking here and there, grasping on to the hopeful stories and finding solace in familiar experiences.  Because I had a flip-flopping emotional couple of days, I can totally relate and this mom drive/experience/guilt speaks to me.  Yesterday was flat, disconnected and scary.  This is one of the worst feelings, like you’re split off from the world, just there.  Today I’m riding the edge of anxiety and emotional, which is superseding my physical symptoms and another sleepless night. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 15 year old (both girls), so this nightmare has tested me in ways I never imagined.  I push through for them and because of them, and I’m learning the hard way that it is a one moment at a time kind of experience.  Boy do I ever grab on tight to those moments that are precious and reflect glimpses of me again.  I can’t wait for “me” to be totally back.  Although I am far from better and haven’t gotten through to other side (YET!  I must believe this), I just want to say you’re not alone.