scared too death

[[du...]]

Hi, i come to the forum to talk to and get advice, on what to do and how to handle this absolute hell, I and others are going through, i'm half way through my eighth month off ativan , because i feel so bad all the time, i keep having these bad dark thoughts, hard to get to sleep at night, wake up every hour with a jolt and scared too death, 2-3 hours of sleep a night for the last 4-5 months, and what makes it worse, i just had two good day's in a row where i felt pretty good, then this like  cloud of doom comes over you, and now i feel worse than ever, pamster has helped me with good advice and kind words, but it feels like i'll never get back to myself, even though i've always had anxiety, and this is why i took this poison in the first place, nothing i do seems to work, i cant get calmed down, i try to distract but that dosent seem to work, so i come back here for help !

[[Pa...]]

Hey dumptruck,

 

What have you been able to do lately that you couldn't do before?  Are you able to go out of the house, can you do a project now and then and feel satisfaction for having completed it?  Have you been able to join the family in an activity even if you're forcing it but nevertheless joined in? 

 

I feel it's important to focus on what you can do rather than the fear that's trying to take over.  This process is all about fear and I know that 8 months off of this devil drug sounds like a long time, it is but it's not in terms of recovery.  Your brain and central nervous system have to heal and unlike the instant relief we all got from the pill, our bodies don't work like that.

 

Here is your homework, make a list, write down what you can do now as compared to when you first got off of the Ativan, see the good you've been able to do, don't give the drug more power by focusing on the bad.