The Painful Compromise I had to Make

[[Al...]]

With my supply running low, I'm in no position to follow a slow tapering plan.  And my out of necessity aggressive tapering has already caused me unbearable withdrawal symptoms. In just 12 weeks I had to go from 45-90 mg of Xanax or Klonopin to 9. And no doctor will prescribe me the very high doses I need for my tapering. In fact, as soon as I tell them about my addiction, the one drugs I won't get from them are BZD. They all follow the same orthodoxy and want me to get inpatient help in the only addiction treatment facility that exists around this parts. But thats a closed ward and I've been there before and that ward would be shutdowns immediately in any civilized country. The conditions there are so appalling that they even made headlines in the media. I will post below a link to a news article about that ward. It's not in English but you can use google translate if you have the curiosity to read it.

Necessity has forced me to search for makeshift solutions and the only one I could find is phenibut. It's a far from perfect solution. Phenibut its an addictive GABA-ergic drug that nobody on BZD withdrawal should be forced to use. There is no phenibut-BZD equivalency table and you will always risk using a dose that's either to high or to low. But I did manage to stabilize on 8 mg of Klonopin and my WD symptoms don't feel like an unbearable torture anymore.

It's a painful compromise that I had to make. To have any chance to quit BZD, I had to sell my soul to the devil and accept another dangerous addiction. It's a compromise that I strongly discourage anyone to make.

 

The link: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cancan.ro/marturie-din-iadul-toxicomanilor-din-cluj-19913311/amp

 

 

Edit: Members Request

[[di...]]

That's a sticky situation you're in.

 

Am I out of line saying that you need to acquire benzos by whatever means necessary? I guess you've tried that already? I wouldn't feel good about it and I'd do whatever I could (testing) to mitigate the danger of dodgy pills, but I think I'd be trying very hard. Sorry you're going through this. It's a heavy price you're paying for a desperate mistake 

[[Ic...]]

I am sorry you are going through this, Alin. That is definitely a tricky situation. We aren't allowed to advise tapering schedules, but I am really concerned with phenibut. Unless you were buying your Xanax from the streets, I would highly suggest you do not do this to get a hold of Xanax. Those pills tend to be pressed with dangerous drugs such as Fentanyl. So, not only will you be addicted to Fentanyl, but you could possibly die. Maybe look up the band Korn's Jonathan Davis' journey of getting off Xanax. He detoxed twice off Xanax. A part of me thinks that with high amounts of Xanax, you will need a facility because stopping cold turkey could be very deadly.

[Guest [pa...]]

It isn't advisable to do phenibut. Research (on mice and rats) and anecdotal evidence shows that using NDMA antagonists can enable cold-turkey from benzos without consequences. Of course, it may also backfire horribly, but I've heard that phenibut withdrawal is worse than benzo withdrawal. It would probably be best to find a way to do a proper taper.

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5766724/

 

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC47038/

[[Al...]]

Hi diaz-e-BAM! Sometimes 3 or 4 times a day I was trying to negotiate with my former dealer but without success. He wanted me to buy the quantity that he decided as he saw the money he was getting from me as a much deserve compensation for the risks he took to get me those drugs. I spent a lot of time searching for a new dealer and I found one, but this one can only sell me 3-4 boxes of 1 mg XANAX with 30 pills each. But I would need around 12 a month to be able co continue with my BZD tapering. Phenibut wasn't an option, it was the lack of any.

[[Al...]]

Hi IcyPeppermint112! If Karma was a real thing you wouldn't even be on this forum as each of your words is charged with positive energy. I'm amazed how you can be so altruistic considering the problems that you are struggling with.

I never used street BZD. My first dealer was a pharmacist who owned two drug stores. After she was arrested in 2017 I found a young surgeon who was willing to sell me the high quantity I needed as a high dose addict. I had to cut all ties with him because he won't negotiate. And I was paying for my BZD more than I was making. I stole money from my parents to satisfy my vice and now my conscious is killing me.

[[Al...]]

Hi pacenik! You are 100% correct. Wednesday I almost beg the psychiatrist for gabapentin, pregabalin or tianeptine. Tianeptine can be useful during BZD withdrawal because it's an indirect NMDA receptors antagonist. But he didn't even want to hear about any of them. Just like the previous three I saw this year, he wants me to accept incarceration in that awful ward which, according to the news article who's link I posted, is a "Drug addicts prison where the patients are beaten and starved". I spent two weeks there in 2017 and I can confirm those facts.

[[De...]]

With my supply running low, I'm in no position to follow a slow tapering plan.  And my out of necessity aggressive tapering has already caused me unbearable withdrawal symptoms. In just 12 weeks I had to go from 45-90 mg of Xanax or Klonopin to 9. And no doctor will prescribe me the very high doses I need for my tapering. In fact, as soon as I tell them about my addiction, the one drugs I won't get from them are BZD. They all follow the same orthodoxy and want me to get inpatient help in the only addiction treatment facility that exists around this parts. But thats a closed ward and I've been there before and that ward would be shutdowns immediately in any civilized country. The conditions there are so appalling that they even made headlines in the media. I will post below a link to a news article about that ward. It's not in English but you can use google translate if you have the curiosity to read it.

Necessity has forced me to search for makeshift solutions and the only one I could find is phenibut. It's a far from perfect solution. Phenibut its an addictive GABA-ergic drug that nobody on BZD withdrawal should be forced to use. There is no phenibut-BZD equivalency table and you will always risk using a dose that's either to high or to low. But I did manage to stabilize on 8 mg of Klonopin and my WD symptoms don't feel like an unbearable torture anymore.

It's a painful compromise that I had to make. To have any chance to quit BZD, I had to sell my soul to the devil and accept another dangerous addiction. It's a compromise that I strongly discourage anyone to make.

 

The link: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cancan.ro/marturie-din-iadul-toxicomanilor-din-cluj-19913311/amp

 

 

Edit: Members Request

 

 

I think if I were in your shoes I would look into micro dosing alcohol as a means to taper. They both affect nearly the same gaba receptors so it very well may stave off any dangerous cold Turkey symptoms like delirium and seizures.

I'm not very well educated in these matters but seeing how they use benzos for alcohol rehad I think it would work the other way around. Do some research there has to be something safer than street drugs availible.

[[Al...]]

You are absolutely right Deadmanwalking. Thank you for your suggestion. I will definitely give it a try.

[Guest [pa...]]

Hi pacenik! You are 100% correct. Wednesday I almost beg the psychiatrist for gabapentin, pregabalin or tianeptine. Tianeptine can be useful during BZD withdrawal because it's an indirect NMDA receptors antagonist. But he didn't even want to hear about any of them. Just like the previous three I saw this year, he wants me to accept incarceration in that awful ward which, according to the news article who's link I posted, is a "Drug addicts prison where the patients are beaten and starved". I spent two weeks there in 2017 and I can confirm those facts.

These drugs have been here for over half a century. It's ridiculous that doctors so far haven't learned that psychiatric drugs are not like street drugs. You can get someone off of heroin or cocaine via incarceration, but cold-turkeying people from psychiatric drugs is in many the most cruel thing imaginable.

[[Et...]]

Phenibut is going to cause you a world of hurt. The tolerance builds extremely rapidly and the state you will be left in is extreme downregulation of both GABA-A and GABA-B.

 

In a situation like yours, you might be better off getting etizolam. I seriously hate to recommend etizolam because people abuse the crap out of it but it’s going to be a lot safer than recommending you something you can’t get in actual pressed pill form and it’s still going to be less dangerous than phenibut which is going to put you in a world of hurt in no time. Dose equivalency would be between 9 and 18mg if you’re on 9mg of Klonopin.

 

I couldn’t imagine having the kind of habit you did. Good for you getting down to 9mg even. I wish that there was a way to get you some decent help because your case is one of those that really should be inpatient but if you’re diligent with your taper plans, you can do it yourself.