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[70...]

It was all related to the wave/episode.  I am still so sick it is so unfortunate, ugh.  In time this will all be behind me, the racing thoughts and irrational fear.  It’s horrific...I just want to live and enjoy life...teaching again would be an added bonus, maybe some children...but instead I am on pause.  It has to be this way for some reason, I will heal I continuously get stronger.  My brain will bounce back, episodes will stop. 

 

Thanks BBs, please accept my virtual hugs 🤗 ❤️

 

I do not understand why I had an intense fear of my sexual orientation changing, but then again I feared knives a few months ago...and had thoughts that were just gross...nothing should surprise my anymore.  What scared me is that it’s like a psychosis, like once I’m out of the episode I’m like what the hell just transpired?

 

I get all twisted...my nerves are burning so badly these days, I guess I have to use the burning as an indicator.  When it’s bad, I need to chill...when it’s not so bad I can do a little bit.

 

Love

FL

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I can so relate to your post Fiercelady.  I've still got a bit of "knife fear", and gross thoughts still arise.  So much better than 1 year ago.  Still have verbal tic but can control it.  Wtf! 

 

We will bounce back Fiercelady it's only a matter of time.  :angel:

 

And you'll be teaching again. 

 

Dee

:smitten:

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FL: Its all good..you know we "get it". Its so true how in an episode we can feel psychotic about only God knows what, only to look back after it passes and say

" Oh wow that was so irrational and crazy...". sigh.....

 

Forward progression my friend. I tell that to myself everyday :thumbsup:

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[70...]

And the phobia is back...fearing my sexual orientation is changing and how it will hurt my significant other.

 

It’s almost like my brain will do anything to put me into a state of panic.  This is just unbelievable.

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It seems we all have something our brain fixates on in this process...its like it locks onto a "target" and won't let go. I notice it lessens in a window and then intensifies in a wave again. Or anything we were normally concerned about before is amplified by like a thousand...

 

Ride it out.....hugs! :thumbsup:

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