Truly feel lost 😞

[[ti...]]

I am so lost. I am really struggling with terrible sxs 20 months off. How can I be worse now than I was a year ago? I can't wrap my brain around it. I keep a journal and the past 3 months have been the worst yet. Here are my symptoms now:

 

HORRIBLE balance issues (my brain feels like it's slamming back and forth in my head,24/7)

I feel like Im on a boat and being pushed and pulled.

When I lie down I feel like Im drunk with the spins.

Have to hold on to things when I walk and shower

Horrible pressure in my head, ears, nose and back of the head. Feels like my head is going to explode.

Blurry/double vision

Severe muscle weakness (like Im going to drop dead any second)

Feel like Im on acid and brain dead

Dark depression and hopeless thoughts

Terror attacks with anxiety that goes on for days

SI

Nerve pain in my legs and feet that  go from burning to tingling to freezing

Sobbing spells that last for days

No interest or pleasure in anything

Can't be present at all.

Earworms and looping thoughts

Can't handle any stress. Can't calm myself. If my phone rings I panic

Terrible insomnia

Bone pain

Screaming tinnitus

Agoraphobia

Monophobic

 

If anyone has any thoughts or advice, please share. I feel Im losing this fight.

 

 

[[Pt...]]

I’m pretty much in the same boat at 15 months, very similar symptoms

Sorry ur suffering

[[...]]

Same here 1 yr off.

Scares me you are worse at 20 months

[Guest [su...]]

Same here! I am 33 months off 8/1....

I have not put all my symptoms in my sign

I was reading my diary from.when I stopped CT in may 2017. I had over 100 symptoms. Still there. No relief. Just worse

You wonder why you feel worse? Me too. I am so sick

But I have a thought why we feel worse in some cases. Glutamate is not good for the brain. It gets toxic and lack of GABA makes glutamate rise to really high level. And this cause damage that will repair but it takes time. And no GABA no time to reoair itself. I think thats why some ppl heal faster. They have functional GABA receptors stop Glutamate to destroy the myelin sheat in the brain. Remeber that this is not permanent damage. I have tons of neurologic symtoms. For example tinnitus is often caused by glutamate receptors not function as it should...or thesw inner vibrations is what i had found out is causes by low GABA levels.

 

 

[Guest [Fi...]]

I’m so sorry...I’m suffering too but it’s mostly mental...my brain is healing but it’s slow.  Burning nerves are a reminder that I’m suffering from withdrawal...

I pray we all heal soon.

 

 

Love

FL

[[Se...]]

Im in the same boat as you  Tidefan and hoping for strength to persevere.

 

Hugs 

[[bo...]]

I'm 28 months off cold turkey and still have burning nerves throughout my body. My brain won't allow me to connect to situations or have fun in anything I do. It's just get through the day for the next shitty day. I have horrible mood swings and can be fine with people one hour and then someone asks me a question and I'm screaming. Unfortunately, I don't believe everybody recovers to the dream life described in success stories. It's just a disability I've learned to live with. Not sure how much longer my wife will be able to handle it though.