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I’m way worse at month 4


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I’m about 4 months and 1 week off of a rapid taper of klonopin. I only took .5 mg a day for 18 months. My doctor said I could stop without issues.

 

It’s been a living nightmare.

 

I thought I was doing better 2 weeks ago. I was able to cook a little. Clean the house. I even went outside for the first time.

 

Now for two weeks I’ve had severe inner and mental akathisia, numbness in my hands, feet, and face, electric shocks in my body, skin burning, severe agoraphobia, depersonalization

 

I’m basically bedridden. This is so scary. Why now? Why is this getting worse? I’m so scared. I’m losing hope. I go to sleep terrified of what tomorrow will bring. I don’t think I handle getting worse.

 

 

Please don’t suggest THC. It gives me panic.

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I know it's scary, I don't think there is any other injury or illness like recovering from benzo's, the non-linear path this process takes is awful.  What you're going through is normal, remember what Professor Ashton said about it.

 

During benzodiazepine withdrawal, symptoms characteristically wax and wane, varying in severity and type from day to day, week to week, and even during the course of a day. Some symptoms come and go; others may take their place. There is no need to be discouraged by these wave-like recurrences; the waves become less severe and less frequent as time passes. Typically "Windows" of normality, when you feel positively well for a few hours or days, appear after some weeks; gradually the "Windows" become more frequent and last longer, while any intervening discomfort ebbs away.

 

It is impossible to give an exact time for the duration of withdrawal symptoms. It depends on where you start from, how much support you need and receive, how you manage your taper and many other factors. With slow tapering, some long-term users have virtually lost all their symptoms by the time they take their last tablet, and in the majority symptoms disappear within a few months. Vulnerability to extra stress may last somewhat longer and a severe stress may - temporarily - bring back some symptoms. Whatever your symptoms, it is best not to dwell on them. Symptoms are just symptoms after all and most of them in withdrawal are not signs of illness but signals of recovery. Furthermore, as your mind clears, you can work out more and more effective ways to deal with them so that they become less significant.

 

Have you had any recent health issues, stress or emotional challenges, I wonder is there is something you can point to which may have contributed to this?  No alcohol, right?

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Absolutely no alcohol. No caffeine. I eat as simply as possible. No msg or glutamate.

 

The only thing I think I did wrong was maybe overdo it when I was feeling kind of ok. I cleaned a lot and did some mild exercise. Maybe I wasn’t ready? I dunno.

 

The last ten days have been horrifying.

 

Before that I was having benzo flu symptoms every morning that cleared up by the afternoon. Then this started.

 

I know I’m not sick in addition. I don’t leave the house. Definitely no Covid. My boyfriend rarely leaves and is extremely cautious.

 

I hope this is the final bad wave. It’s just SO severe. If this had happened at month 2 or something, I’d be less scared.

 

But I know it’s withdrawal because of the physical nerve symptoms (burning, vibrations, etc.)

 

I just.... I’m scared that after months of suffering I don’t have the strength to fight this if it continues for a long time. Maybe if I had a window for a day. But I seemed to have more windows earlier on. That’s the scary part.

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I remember saying I can't do this anymore, I can't survive this another day but somehow we do and so will you.  I'm glad you and your boyfriend are being careful, I hear so many horror stories about COVID19 causing neurological symptoms and anyone who has gone through benzo withdrawal should have a healthy fear of that. 

 

Okay, so you're sure it's withdrawal by the symptoms you're feeling so this means you don't need to worry about other illnesses, I see so many worry they may have MS, you know you don't, that's a good thing.

 

This process makes us focus on the negative, it refuses to let us see we're improving so even while you're in a terrible wave, I want to let you know you're healing and that this wave will pass and you'll have a moment of hope and it will be enough to sustain you through what happens next.

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I remember saying I can't do this anymore, I can't survive this another day but somehow we do and so will you.  I'm glad you and your boyfriend are being careful, I hear so many horror stories about COVID19 causing neurological symptoms and anyone who has gone through benzo withdrawal should have a healthy fear of that. 

 

Okay, so you're sure it's withdrawal by the symptoms you're feeling so this means you don't need to worry about other illnesses, I see so many worry they may have MS, you know you don't, that's a good thing.

 

This process makes us focus on the negative, it refuses to let us see we're improving so even while you're in a terrible wave, I want to let you know you're healing and that this wave will pass and you'll have a moment of hope and it will be enough to sustain you through what happens next.

 

Yes. Once I heard about the neurological symptoms, I told my boyfriend to please be extra careful. I cannot possibly fight covid, and go through withdrawals.

 

I know deep down this is withdrawal, but I’m not sure how to cope anymore. The mental and inner akathisia is relentless. I think about go to the psych ward probably 5 times a day. Just giving up.

 

There are so many stories of people having severe symptoms 7...9....12 months out. How? How can someone take that?

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Have you been tested for covid?

I'm asking because the flu like sx you mentioned for a few months.

 

I live alone, totally bed ridden and house bound. I only had one time for a visitor in March for just half hour. The flu like sx started right after. After those sx died down, my wd got extremely intensified now 4 months since then. I know by heart I got the virus even it's confusing as it can wrack the nerve system for ppl who are already have nerve sx from wd. I was much better at 6 month before the virus. This virus is nuts per my own experience.

 

Have you been tested?

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Have you been tested for covid?

I'm asking because the flu like sx you mentioned for a few months.

 

I live alone, totally bed ridden and house bound. I only had one time for a visitor in March for just half hour. The flu like sx started right after. After those sx died down, my wd got extremely intensified now 4 months since then. I know by heart I got the virus even it's confusing as it can wrack the nerve system for ppl who are already have nerve sx from wd. I was much better at 6 month before the virus. This virus is nuts per my own experience.

 

Have you been tested?

 

I have not but the flu like symptoms didn’t include a fever or a cough or anything. It was mostly vomiting, cold sweats, extreme fatigue. It would also lesson every day by the afternoon, so I don’t think it was covid.

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Yeah, mine was only sore throat, headache nausea and fatigue. It also comes and goes within each day like total no rytham. 

 

Ppl can have untypical sx from this mysterious covid. Likely yours is not. It's not uncommon for wd got worse in later stage. It should improve overtime if no other complications

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I got really bad around 4 mons off after I had good few weeks at 2-3 mons off. I was thinking the same why now it’s getting so bad and it lasted 24/7 for non stop 10-12 days. Then I got break and start feeling little better again. Now it’s like a good day follows by a bad day. Trust me it will get better again with more positivity.

Stay strong and keep fighting.. we are too far out now and hopefully soon we will be on the other side

 

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I had new and unpleasant symptoms show up at 4 months.  It was disheartening but part of the process. Mine presented as a lot of dizzy, boaty feelings.  This actually persisted for several months easing up very slowly.  It did finally go away.

 

I'm sorry you've hit a rough patch, benzo withdrawal doesn't play fair.  Try to distract as much as possible, this was the best 'tool' I used.

 

pianogirl  :smitten:

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Did you use a lot of cleaning products when you cleaned the house?

You could be sensitive to household chemicals.

I am.

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[01...]

I’m about 4 months and 1 week off of a rapid taper of klonopin. I only took .5 mg a day for 18 months. My doctor said I could stop without issues.

 

It’s been a living nightmare.

 

I thought I was doing better 2 weeks ago. I was able to cook a little. Clean the house. I even went outside for the first time.

 

Now for two weeks I’ve had severe inner and mental akathisia, numbness in my hands, feet, and face, electric shocks in my body, skin burning, severe agoraphobia, depersonalization

 

I’m basically bedridden. This is so scary. Why now? Why is this getting worse? I’m so scared. I’m losing hope. I go to sleep terrified of what tomorrow will bring. I don’t think I handle getting worse.

 

 

Please don’t suggest THC. It gives me panic.

 

Month 4 was fought for me too...it’s normal to have windows and waves.  You’ll be okay :)

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I got really bad around 4 mons off after I had good few weeks at 2-3 mons off. I was thinking the same why now it’s getting so bad and it lasted 24/7 for non stop 10-12 days. Then I got break and start feeling little better again. Now it’s like a good day follows by a bad day. Trust me it will get better again with more positivity.

Stay strong and keep fighting.. we are too far out now and hopefully soon we will be on the other side

 

I had a few ok hours last night. Today I just feel completely out of it. The depersonalization is BAD. But I think the akathisia is better. I’m all over the place.

 

It’s scary because I don’t know what’s coming tomorrow. Hell, I don’t know what’s coming in an hour :(

 

There’s gotta be some deep healing going on, right?

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You're healing every second of every day, the pain is your brain doing it's best to repair the wreckage the drug created.  We took the pill and got instant relief, the recovery unfortunately isn't instantaneous.
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