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Waves


[Gw...]

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Haven't been on in nearly two weeks because I was feeling MUCH improved. Not 100% but dramatically better. Still thought about anxiety and had some minor "waves" but really thought I was on the tail end of this nightmare. Then, boom, the last three days have been as bad as week two. I'm still fully functional (fortunately) but in a constant state of nervousness and being wired. What gives? Is this normal and can I hold out hope that in the coming weeks these waves will subside?

 

I'm still shocked that two weeks of Ambien CR could spark this. Unreal. For die diligence I had blood taken today to check my thyroid (never had it checked before) but I'm not expecting it to be a factor.

 

I'd like to reiterate that I have never had anxiety like this before (or depression). At the moment I'm finding it hard to believe that I will ever reach a point when this subsided and I no longer think about the symptoms.

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I'm so sorry you got slammed with a bad wave.  It may be both good and bad news that it's not at all unusual to be rolling along thinking you're free and clear and then get slammed like you have.  The trajectory of withdrawal recovery is more like a rollercoaster than a straight path.  It zigs and zags and sometimes feels like it goes in reverse. There's no rhyme or reason.  But meanwhile healing is happening. Don't forget, you're still relatively early in withdrawal.  The fact that you were feeling much improved in the "window" that proceeded this bad wave is a good sign you're heading for another window. 

 

It IS shocking that two weeks of taking one of these medications can do this but there are many members who can attest to it sadly.

 

I imagine you've read these two pieces but I always think they're worth another look. Also, make sure you read Success Stories when you need a boost of encouragement:

 

What's happening inside your brain

Four Phases of Withdrawal

 

Wishing you much healing!

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Thank you Brighterday. This is truly the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life and I consider myself lucky in that I am nowhere near as bad off as others I've read about. I'm still fully functional, I can't imagine how horrible this must be for those who are housebound and such. That said, it is still excruciating.

 

I just keep clinging to the hope that as more and more time passes I will "normalize" and eventually put this all behind me. It's hard to maintain that hope when the crushing anxiety is at its worst though. Feels like this is my "new normal". It doesn't help that I see story after story of people who suffered through this for years and years. To me stories like that do more harm than good to others who are suffering even though I'm glad the people who took so long came through it successfully.

 

My thyroid test came back normal as expected so I'm 100% certain now that withdrawal is what is causing my issues. Absolutely unbelievable to me that any doctor could prescribe a medication that could cause this in anyone....

 

As for yourself, I hope that your journey through this is successful and you are doing well.

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Gwpeaks, I want you to know what I think of you. I think you are truly one of the most amazing people I have ever come into contact with. I do not say that lightly. I believe in everything you do. You will get better because you are the strongest person in the world.
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Thank you Brighterday. This is truly the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life and I consider myself lucky in that I am nowhere near as bad off as others I've read about. I'm still fully functional, I can't imagine how horrible this must be for those who are housebound and such. That said, it is still excruciating.

 

I just keep clinging to the hope that as more and more time passes I will "normalize" and eventually put this all behind me. It's hard to maintain that hope when the crushing anxiety is at its worst though. Feels like this is my "new normal". It doesn't help that I see story after story of people who suffered through this for years and years. To me stories like that do more harm than good to others who are suffering even though I'm glad the people who took so long came through it successfully.

 

My thyroid test came back normal as expected so I'm 100% certain now that withdrawal is what is causing my issues. Absolutely unbelievable to me that any doctor could prescribe a medication that could cause this in anyone....

 

As for yourself, I hope that your journey through this is successful and you are doing well.

 

I truly understand what you mean about the anxiety.  It was by far my worst symptom earlier in my recovery. It was without question one of the worst things I've every been through and I think that's true for almost everyone here.  It was utterly miserable and felt inescapable.  I'm almost 10 months out now and it has gotten much better, not entirely gone but much better.  I couldn't imagine it would every get better but it has.  And it has taken time. 

 

I encourage you to avoid the scary or negative stories here.  When you're browsing, if you see so much as a word that is triggering you, click to a different page.  Please don't subject yourself to things that make you feel worse - there's no benefit to it.  Our systems are so over sensitized, they need gentle, kind self-care and as little stress as we can manage.  We're so susceptible to anxiety and fear it takes very little to unleash it and head into a downward spiral.  The fear center of the brain is scrambling to find equilibrium.  It doesn't know how to process or gauge triggering input so it goes into full fight, flight, freeze mode over the slightest triggers.  It will settle down and find equilibrium eventually.  Meanwhile, try to focus on posts that are positive, encouraging and constructive.

 

Glad your thyroid test came back normal.

 

Keep moving forward through each day and try to distract yourself with activities that shift attention away from your anxious thoughts.  You'll get there!

Brighterday.  :)

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