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Divorce in w/d


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Has anyone had to go thru a divorce bc w/d makes your partner acts like an non supportive caring person and make you feel really alone and no so ever show any kind of understanding???. I think my husband is mental abusing me....And i am to weak to stand up for myself...
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I have not gone through divorce or major marital issues myself. However my spouse and I did fight a lot in the beginning when we were learning what was actually going on and that WD is not widely recognized. It was a process of a lot of researching and reading and discussing to get not only my husband to understand what was going on, but for myself too.

 

I did however have to make changes in my relationship with my father and my sister because they were not supportive at all. They were selfish, unbelieving in my situation and mean. I had to set major boundaries and I removed my sister from my life. Sad as it may be it has given me way more room to heal. And, to be honest, my relationship with my father and my sister were already horrible. They just are not caring people. Therefore, it was a welcomed change. I feel free from the constraints and stress that they caused me. I needed that to heal...period.

 

Sometimes I think that about half of the struggle with WD is getting others to be supportive, and on the "other end of the stick" staying away from the negativity coming from those who just "don't get it" or even want to try to get it.

 

Baylissa Frederick went through WD and lost her marriage. She writes about it some in her book "Recovery and Renewal". She is now a better person coming out on the "other side" with a new life.

 

Divorce isn't just about a decision to leave someone and being emotionally hurt by it, it's also about finding resources for support through it. Even getting support to come to a decision is important. Support in the form of counselors, family or friends that can help, and financial resources. If you go to any form of counseling, just don't let them put you on any psychotropic meds. None of us need that. I mean gentle talk counseling in the form of helping you make life decisions.

 

There are many many people on BB who end up divorced or at the very least, a temporary strain is put on a marriage. You are not alone. The important thing is having self love. In WD most of us learn selfcare first hand because no one actually knows how hard this suffering really is unless they experience it themselves. We are forced on a path where we have to rely on ourselves in many ways to be strong and pull through. In the end we become stronger and we don't put up with people's bulls**t. I see it as a gift. A silver lining in this long journey.

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[36...]

I have not gone through divorce or major marital issues myself. However my spouse and I did fight a lot in the beginning when we were learning what was actually going on and that WD is not widely recognized. It was a process of a lot of researching and reading and discussing to get not only my husband to understand what was going on, but for myself too.

 

I did however have to make changes in my relationship with my father and my sister because they were not supportive at all. They were selfish, unbelieving in my situation and mean. I had to set major boundaries and I removed my sister from my life. Sad as it may be it has given me way more room to heal. And, to be honest, my relationship with my father and my sister were already horrible. They just are not caring people. Therefore, it was a welcomed change. I feel free from the constraints and stress that they caused me. I needed that to heal...period.

 

Sometimes I think that about half of the struggle with WD is getting others to be supportive, and on the "other end of the stick" staying away from the negativity coming from those who just "don't get it" or even want to try to get it.

 

Baylissa Frederick went through WD and lost her marriage. She writes about it some in her book "Recovery and Renewal". She is now a better person coming out on the "other side" with a new life.

 

Divorce isn't just about a decision to leave someone and being emotionally hurt by it, it's also about finding resources for support through it. Even getting support to come to a decision is important. Support in the form of counselors, family or friends that can help, and financial resources. If you go to any form of counseling, just don't let them put you on any psychotropic meds. None of us need that. I mean gentle talk counseling in the form of helping you make life decisions.

 

There are many many people on BB who end up divorced or at the very least, a temporary strain is put on a marriage. You are not alone. The important thing is having self love. In WD most of us learn selfcare first hand because no one actually knows how hard this suffering really is unless they experience it themselves. We are forced on a path where we have to rely on ourselves in many ways to be strong and pull through. In the end we become stronger and we don't put up with people's bulls**t. I see it as a gift. A silver lining in this long journey.

Thank you for a long input to my post

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Not in WD but my ex dumped me in the flat I am still trapped in in 2001 when I was very ill with ME & recovering from the spinal surgery that lead to Benzos. It was horrific.

 

I shout at my lovely man I am now with all the time in WD. He can’t do anything right. I feel detached from him. Just him walking in the room causes terror. It is horrific. Just him laughing makes me angry because the sound hits me like a physical blow.

 

What is your husband doing Sundanceshaman?

 

 

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