How many of you are "Aspies"?

[[...]]

First of all, let me explain what I mean.

 

Today we hear a tremendous amount about autism. But often Asperger's is included in the "spectrum", and this is a problem for me as a teacher. The reason? Because like everything else there are degrees of it. Not only do I get an unusual number of students who appear to have at least a touch of it, they are also among the best students I'll ever see. It seems to be especially strong in highly talented musicians.

 

Here is a common list of characteristics. I don't want to say "symptoms", because I think it is the wrong word:

 

Some of the symptoms that may be present are:

 

    lack of social awareness;

 

    lack of interest in socializing/making friends;

 

    difficulty making and sustaining friendships;

 

    inability to infer the thoughts, feelings, or emotions of others;

 

    either gazing too intently or avoiding eye contact;

 

    lack of changing facial expression, or use of exaggerated facial expressions;

 

    lack of use or comprehension of gestures;

 

    inability to perceive nonverbal cues or communications;

 

    failure to respect interpersonal boundaries;

 

    unusually sensitive to noises, touch, odors, tastes, or visual stimuli;

 

    inflexibility and over-adherence to or dependence on routines; and

 

    stereotypical and repetitive motor patterns such as hand flapping or arm waving.

 

My interest in this is two-fold. First, my grandson has been diagnosed as having Asperger's.

 

Second, because of working with him and others, it occurred to me that I seem to be mildly like this myself. When I take a "test", I am always borderline. This does not mean that I have Asperger's, but I certainly share some of the signs very strongly, and for me the correspond to some of my strongest talents.

 

This is what started me thinking in this direction:

 

"it has been suggested by some authors that many successful historical figures may have had Asperger's syndrome, including Mozart, Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and Marie Curie."

 

That's a list I would not mind being on.

 

The world being the way the world is, I think most emphasis is on "problems". You are this way, or that way. You have a condition. But because I tend to be an out-of-the-box thinker, it occurred to me that at least some of us are bit this way, perhaps having more problems when young picking up cues, or figuring things out. As a boy I always felt like an outsider, the one who didn't fit in, and I think a lot of people were laughing at me, or looking at me as "the weird kid". But by college and into my early 20s I flipped from the person who "didn't get things" to the person who could read a group of people instantly. It's like I studied people, needed to figure them out, and when I did I was seldom ever fooled again.

 

In addition, my closest friends are like me, and we all talk about how we are different from other people.

 

All this leads me to another thing: Most people are talkers, and most people do not like to write much. What is it that connects writers? What makes those of us who communicate so much in writing different from people who normally avoid it?

 

These are some questions I have, and I would be fascinated by the observations of other people in this forum. Does this ring a bell, connect? Do you see any of this in yourselves, or in your close friends?

 

[[Fl...]]

A good friend of mine has Aspergers. Things are a lot more difficult for him but I sometimes wonder if I am technically on the far outside end of the spectrum myself, as I face some of the same challenges.

[Guest [so...]]

I am married to a man with Aspergers, he displays all of the characteristics named above. He is incapable of any degree of empathy, and has made my life a living hell especially going through bwd. When I am out of benzo hell I will do my utmost to escape Aspie hell. The effect of Aspergers behaviours on their partners should not be glossed over nor underestimated. I have had more S. I. as a result of my marriage than from bwd. As far as he is concerned I am only there to facilitate his life, no intimacy, no possibility of any normal relationship in which growth occurs, I had no knowledge of any of this before I married him, he is a high functioning lawyer in his work life which I believe is not unusual but incapable of a relationship. If I wasn't so sick I would leave today and to anyone contemplating a relationship with an Aspie I would say Run for your life in the opposite direction. Sorry if all this sounds harsh.

[Guest [Sk...]]

https://themighty.com/2018/01/being-neurodiverse-in-a-neurotypical-world/

 

 

Lack of knowledge  by many "normal" people

and much  ignorance by them  of others needs

just because they are different to neurotypical people

leads many "aspies" especially high functioning ones,

to try and conform and use learned masking habits,

and often need benzos/drugs to deal with the constant

stresses caused by just being different or misunderstood at times

and being expected to conform

to so called . "normal"  neurotypical population

 

[[pu...]]

I have never had a formal diagnosis, but I think I am on the spectrum

[[...]]

First of all, I did not start this as a place for people to vent about people in their lives.

 

Second, I have never been diagnosed as having Asperger's, nor has any friend or family member suggested that it's a good description of me.

 

I was going someplace very different, that we are all subtle combinations of this and that, and stereotypes are usually harmful.

 

For instance, as I said earlier I'm the first person to assess what is going on in a group of people. My MO is to say very little and just absorb what is going on, to figure out who is honest, who is playing games, who is open-minded an so on. I am able to carry on a neutral conversation, never giving away what I really think, until I know what is going on.

 

I teach, and that means working closely with many people. I have two adults I work with who are fans of Trump. Neither knows (or will ever know) that I have never despised a human being any more than this guy. I have no trouble making eye contact, and I don't scare people by boring a hole through them with my eyes.

 

But as a kid I had no idea how to fit in, and I continually said "stupid things" that I'm sure the other kids laughed at. I was in my own world, highly talented in music, and I cringe now at how odd I must have seemed. I was not awkward, just the opposite really, and I was not unemotional. But I was always pissing people off with what I said and did. I did not have a friend until I was in high school other than my cousin, who was also an outsider. When I talk to people who knew me from college, they all say they respected me as being highly intelligent and talented, but I still only had a couple friends.

 

No flapping of the hands, but I've always had narrow likes and dislikes. I tend to eat the same food daily, which drives my wife crazy because she likes to try everything new. and I really do hate humanity, for the most part, because I think human beings are basically stupid and cruel. I almost never say that except to close friends.

 

Two times when I've taken a test for "do you have Asperger's", I've been borderline.

 

Because I've grown to understand people very well, I know how to say the right thing, how to play social games, but I hate it so much that I disconnect and isolate ASAP. The main problem is that most of the time people talk about things that are not within my narrow interests. I'm too savvy to let them know I am bored, so I smile, nod my head, say the right things, then plan an exit. But inside I'm screaming to get away.

 

For this reason I probably write more each day than I talk. And that most definitely seems to put my in a small minority.

 

So I was wondering how many people in this forum are part of my personal minority.

 

I'm not spreading the idea that Aspie people are cold, or insensitive, or in any way inferior. I'm sure some are severe enough in their traits as to have huge problems fitting in anywhere, or even having success in life.  But I'm suggesting that there are many - and I seem to be one - who have some of the characteristics without sending off signals that cause other people to say, "My GOD, that person has problems."

[[...]]

I am married to a man with Aspergers, he displays all of the characteristics named above. He is incapable of any degree of empathy, and has made my life a living hell especially going through bwd. When I am out of benzo hell I will do my utmost to escape Aspie hell. The effect of Aspergers behaviours on their partners should not be glossed over nor underestimated. I have had more S. I. as a result of my marriage than from bwd. As far as he is concerned I am only there to facilitate his life, no intimacy, no possibility of any normal relationship in which growth occurs, I had no knowledge of any of this before I married him, he is a high functioning lawyer in his work life which I believe is not unusual but incapable of a relationship. If I wasn't so sick I would leave today and to anyone contemplating a relationship with an Aspie I would say Run for your life in the opposite direction. Sorry if all this sounds harsh.

As I said, I for sure have some of the traits mentioned, but no one has ever said that I lack empathy. My grandson does not. The two kids I teach who are diagnosed with Asperger's are not like your husband.

 

So yes, maybe he has Asperger's. But maybe he's extremely narcissistic. You can be or have both, you know.

 

I think a lot of what you are talking about goes far beyond problems of Aspies.

[[wa...]]

I have these two:

 

    unusually sensitive to noises, touch, odors, tastes, or visual stimuli;

 

    inflexibility and over-adherence to or dependence on routines;

 

...and have since childhood. I have often wondered what it meant and identified with this part of the experience of people "on the spectrum". On the other hand, all of the other descriptors are so NOT me. On the contrary, I am TOO able to read others, TOO able to read nonverbal cues. Just as I am overly sensitive to sounds and smells, and easily moved by art and music, I am TOO connected to others.

 

Just this past year I found a word that fits, a term that truly describes what I am. I am an empath.

 

But who's to say that's not just the "other end" of the spectrum? Perhaps we are missing the big picture, that we're all as different as we are alike, that we ARE "the spectrum", the spectrum of humanity.

 

I don't mean to discredit the science that exists. I have watched many documentaries and read many articles about the subject,  and I respect the work that has been done. I just feel like we have so few of the puzzle pieces, we can't yet see what the picture is going to be.

 

Good topic.

[Guest [be...]]

I'm an Aspie and was not diagnosed until later in life. I'm also HSP and an empath, very confusing at times to live inside my emotional brain and how it process internal and external stimuli and stressors. Benzo use or benzo withdrawal, not sure which, has complicated it a bit more in my personal experience.

 

Females present "traits" differently than males. That isn't to say females do not have any of the male traits, as some do, rather, we go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed far too often. I have very few male Aspie traits and I have a lot of female Aspie traits.

 

I believe it's a fallacy that all Aspies are not empathetic rather too highly empathetic and thus shut down for self preservation.

 

Link to female traits:

https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

[[pu...]]

I'm an Aspie and was not diagnosed until later in life. I'm also HSP and an empath, very confusing at times to live inside my emotional brain and how it process internal and external stimuli and stressors. Benzo use or benzo withdrawal, not sure which, has complicated it a bit more in my personal experience.

 

Females present "traits" differently than males. That isn't to say females do not have any of the male traits, as some do, rather, we go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed far too often. I have very few male Aspie traits and I have a lot of female Aspie traits.

 

I believe it's a fallacy that all Aspies are not empathetic rather too highly empathetic and thus shut down for self preservation.

 

Link to female traits:

https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

 

I agree with this and feel the same about myself.

[[sk...]]

I agree with Southern Star.

[Guest [Sk...]]

I'm an Aspie and was not diagnosed until later in life. I'm also HSP and an empath, very confusing at times to live inside my emotional brain and how it process internal and external stimuli and stressors. Benzo use or benzo withdrawal, not sure which, has complicated it a bit more in my personal experience.

 

Females present "traits" differently than males. That isn't to say females do not have any of the male traits, as some do, rather, we go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed far too often. I have very few male Aspie traits and I have a lot of female Aspie traits.

 

I believe it's a fallacy that all Aspies are not empathetic rather too highly empathetic and thus shut down for self preservation.

 

Link to female traits:

https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

 

:clap:  well said, and so agree with this.  More Knowledge is always a bonus.

 

we are all different, in so many ways, and are Often empaths, and HSP's

perceptive and see things differently to many others also.

 

http://theconversation.com/the-women-who-dont-know-theyre-autistic-80991

 

World Autism Awareness Day takes place every April 2, and in 2018

 

the focus is on the empowerment of women and girls with autism. Much work clearly remains to be done: studies indicate that one woman for every four men is diagnosed with readily identifiable “low-functioning” autism,

 

yet only one woman for every nine men is diagnosed with “high-functioning” autism – that is, autism without intellectual disability.

 

The gap between the two rates indicates that many autistic women are likely to remain undiagnosed.

 

70% of people with autism have either normal or superior intelligence.

 

This form of autism is generally referred to as high-functioning autism, as per the latest version of the “bible” of psychiatric disorders, the DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

 

In this version, all reference to older categories has been removed, including Asperger syndrome.

 

The term Asperger’s is still used today in some countries,

 

however, even though all types of autism are now grouped under a single spectrum

and classified according to the severity of symptoms.

 

https://www.aane.org/women-asperger-profiles/

 

 

 

 

[Guest [NM...]]

Following-will read as this is fascinating to me. Be back later.

[Guest [NM...]]

I'm an Aspie and was not diagnosed until later in life. I'm also HSP and an empath, very confusing at times to live inside my emotional brain and how it process internal and external stimuli and stressors. Benzo use or benzo withdrawal, not sure which, has complicated it a bit more in my personal experience.

 

Females present "traits" differently than males. That isn't to say females do not have any of the male traits, as some do, rather, we go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed far too often. I have very few male Aspie traits and I have a lot of female Aspie traits.

 

I believe it's a fallacy that all Aspies are not empathetic rather too highly empathetic and thus shut down for self preservation.

 

Link to female traits:

https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

I 100% identify here.  Still digesting all of this thread. 

[[...]]

I agree with Southern Star.

So, anyone who is writing in this topic is a jerk, case closed? Or am I missing something? 

[[...]]

I'm an Aspie and was not diagnosed until later in life. I'm also HSP and an empath, very confusing at times to live inside my emotional brain and how it process internal and external stimuli and stressors. Benzo use or benzo withdrawal, not sure which, has complicated it a bit more in my personal experience.

 

Females present "traits" differently than males. That isn't to say females do not have any of the male traits, as some do, rather, we go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed far too often. I have very few male Aspie traits and I have a lot of female Aspie traits.

 

I believe it's a fallacy that all Aspies are not empathetic rather too highly empathetic and thus shut down for self preservation.

 

Link to female traits:

https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

 

:clap:  well said, and so agree with this.  More Knowledge is always a bonus.

 

we are all different, in so many ways, and are Often empaths, and HSP's

perceptive and see things differently to many others also.

 

http://theconversation.com/the-women-who-dont-know-theyre-autistic-80991

 

World Autism Awareness Day takes place every April 2, and in 2018

 

the focus is on the empowerment of women and girls with autism. Much work clearly remains to be done: studies indicate that one woman for every four men is diagnosed with readily identifiable “low-functioning” autism,

 

yet only one woman for every nine men is diagnosed with “high-functioning” autism – that is, autism without intellectual disability.

 

The gap between the two rates indicates that many autistic women are likely to remain undiagnosed.

 

70% of people with autism have either normal or superior intelligence.

 

This form of autism is generally referred to as high-functioning autism, as per the latest version of the “bible” of psychiatric disorders, the DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

 

In this version, all reference to older categories has been removed, including Asperger syndrome.

 

The term Asperger’s is still used today in some countries,

 

however, even though all types of autism are now grouped under a single spectrum

and classified according to the severity of symptoms.

 

https://www.aane.org/women-asperger-profiles/

 

I think putting everything under the same umbrella is a huge mistake. I had to do a trial lesson with a teen who was supposedly "high functioning", and he was so out of control, I had to end the lesson. I worked with a young adult who was autistic. She was completely fixated on the Bee Gees and the Beatles, and I could only teach her slowly.

 

I have two young students who definitely fit the Asperger's label, and they are both a joy to work with.

 

In addition, there are two many black and white labels and too many assumptions. I have a close friend, a woman, who calls herself aspie, but she is one of the kindest people I've ever met, extremely empathic, talented in music and overall very VERY intelligent.

 

I'll repeat: I did not start this thread to bash people, but I also know that once you start a thread, you don't own it. But I would prefer to see open-minded observations rather than judgemental replies!

[Guest [be...]]

It's most definitely an interesting subject. Normal is a setting on a washing machine and nothing more.

 

I'm not an intellectual person and I wouldn't classify myself as higher than average IQ person.

 

I am creative and enjoy nature photography; trees, flowers,  sunrises and sunsets,  though I'm partial to black and white photography and admire Henri Cartier-Bresson.

 

Interior design is also something I derive a lot of pleasure from. I could browse through Sherwin Williams paint colors or different textiles, wood and stone surface for hours, creating a cohesive design in my minds eye with ease.

 

What's really interesting to me and may be something of a benefit in benzo withdrawal, is the use of these creative outlets for either distraction and/or healing from this journey, the emotional and physical aspects of it.

 

There are gifts in many differing forms.

[Guest [NM...]]

 

I think putting everything under the same umbrella is a huge mistake. I had to do a trial lesson with a teen who was supposedly "high functioning", and he was so out of control, I had to end the lesson. I worked with a young adult who was autistic. She was completely fixated on the Bee Gees and the Beatles, and I could only teach her slowly.

 

I have two young students who definitely fit the Asperger's label, and they are both a joy to work with.

 

In addition, there are two many black and white labels and too many assumptions. I have a close friend, a woman, who calls herself aspie, but she is one of the kindest people I've ever met, extremely empathic, talented in music and overall very VERY intelligent.

 

I'll repeat: I did not start this thread to bash people, but I also know that once you start a thread, you don't own it. But I would prefer to see open-minded observations rather than judgemental replies!

 

I wonder if people thought you were bashing anyone? I didn’t.

 

I have often wondered why I preferred being around children, animals and neurodiverse people? IE not “normal people” but the somewhat weird folks who don’t quite fit into society’s boxes.

[Guest [Sk...]]

 

More Knowledge is always a bonus.

 

Autism Awareness Day takes place every April 2, and in 2018

 

70% of people with autism have either normal or superior intelligence.

 

This form of autism is generally referred to as high-functioning autism,

 

as per the latest version of the “bible” of psychiatric disorders, the DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

 

In this version, all reference to older categories has been removed, including Asperger syndrome.

 

 

 

 

I think putting everything under the same umbrella is a huge mistake.

 

In addition, there are two many black and white labels and too many assumptions.

 

I'll repeat: I did not start this thread to bash people

, but I also know that once you start a thread,

you don't own it.

 

But I would prefer to see open-minded observations rather than judgemental replies!

 

:'(  Opps,  No judgements here

 

I was just sharing information, open minded observations, and certainly  not bashing anyone,

 

and the umbrella term is not of my making

 

it is now  per the latest version of the “bible” of psychiatric disorders,

 

the DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

 

we all communicate in different ways, and can be misinterpreted often. 

 

 

[Guest [NM...]]

Can I trust a quiz that I’m an Aspie? http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly10a.php?p1=100&p2=85&p3=93&p4=73&p5=94&p6=89&p7=84&p8=76&p9=69&p10=76

[Guest [be...]]

NMsafe,

 

Quizzes are just guides. Have you looked at the link I attached in a previous post regarding female traits?

 

There's also this written question and answer test here:

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-test/

 

Benzo withdrawal isn't the time to self diagnose, with saying that, it could be a time where obvious traits are more apparent.

 

If things resonate with you, you'll know, they did for me and I went back in time, way before benzos to either confirm these traits in myself.

[Guest [NM...]]

NMsafe,

 

Quizzes are just guides. Have you looked at the link I attached in a previous post regarding female traits?

 

There's also this written question and answer test here:

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-test/

 

Benzo withdrawal isn't the time to self diagnose, with saying that, it could be a time where obvious traits are more apparent.

 

If things resonate with you, you'll know, they did for me and I went back in time, way before benzos to either confirm these traits in myself.

 

Yes. It does resonate very much. A lot of this does make so much sense to me. I always knew I was “different” from people I consider “normal.”  It’s difficult to type out, and so much in text can be lost in translation.

[Guest [NM...]]

NMsafe,

 

Quizzes are just guides. Have you looked at the link I attached in a previous post regarding female traits?

 

There's also this written question and answer test here:

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-test/

 

Benzo withdrawal isn't the time to self diagnose, with saying that, it could be a time where obvious traits are more apparent.

 

If things resonate with you, you'll know, they did for me and I went back in time, way before benzos to either confirm these traits in myself.

 

Yes. It does resonate very much. A lot of this does make so much sense to me. I always knew I was “different” from people I consider “normal.”  It’s difficult to type out, and so much in text can be lost in translation.

 

I did that quiz too that you linked up there. Based on how I’ve always been-not just during withdrawal.  Interesting indeed. I scored Aspie for sure on that one also. Again. Fascinating.

[Guest [NM...]]

Social "things" are so exhausting. It's exhausting because I know HOW to act to be a "normie" so I do, because that's safer and I tend to want to get out of those situations FAST.  I was a "weird" kid.  I never fit in at school, except with the other "weird" kids.  Even when I was at home I preferred to be alone, reading our World Book Encyclopedias, even the dictionary because new words were interesting. High school was awful. AWFUL. I never "got" all of the social sh*t I was supposed to be interested in. Dating? HA. Proms? HAAAAAA! Not. Anyway. Just some thoughts. I seem to always be on some fringe.

[[Fl...]]

So, anyone who is writing in this topic is a jerk, case closed? Or am I missing something? 

 

The irony is that the ONLY person who has truly supported me through this benzo nightmare is my Aspergers buddy. He is literally the only person who is willing to engage in conversation about it and asks me how I am doing on a regular basis.

 

It's pretty cruel that the rest of the world treats people who have these kinds of issues the way they do. My buddy in his mid 30's and never really had a girlfriend because of his social issues.

 

Lucky for him he never ended up on the psych drug merry go round at some point.