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11 Months Free


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I'm 11 months off .25 mgs of Klonopin tomorrow. I'm still struggling. I've had a few good days here or there, one being Tuesday. I felt basically manic in the morning and that leveled out as the day went on and I almost felt normal at night. However, today has been much harder again because of work-related stress. I am really wondering how much of this is just the anxiety I had before, but I do have other symptoms associated with benzo withdrawal.

 

Here are some symptoms that have improved.

1. Insomnia--I have been getting through most of the night.

2. Panic attacks at night--I was having these from June to November, but they have mostly gone away. I would say these were borderline psychosis. My wife had to endure these.

3. DR/DP--this has improved tremendously the past few weeks. My vision seems to be improving too.

 

Here are the symptoms I am still dealing with.

1. Depression--This has been one of the worst symptoms and it doesn't seem to be lifting. With it, I still have SI. I just don't want to take more medication but sometimes I think it might be worth a shot. Because of this, I still have some monophobia.

2. Burning and itching in different spots on my body. This is mostly in my legs but it can be in my arms and stomach and even in my face.

3. Terror thoughts--Thoughts of stress or negative thoughts put me in such a panic and lead to suicidal ideation. Still triggered by so much stuff.

4. Intrusive thoughts--These seem to be lessening a little bit, but I still get them about my wife and daughter and they are scary.

 

I just want to feel myself again.

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My depression was so bad I went on Pristiq because I just couldn't deal with the deep depression I was dealing with. It absolutely helped me finish my taper. Im now 4 months out, feeling much better and currently tapering off Pristiq. I hope you see some improvement soon. I just thought Id share my experience.
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I'm glad you found something that helped you. I am really trying to hold off a while longer. Even the depression has been letting up this week a little bit, but then it will come back at random one day. The intrusive thoughts seem to be flaring up again today. It seems the more I am separated from my wife and daughter, the harder it is to come back and be around them.
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Hi Boombox...

 

I just read a post from MTfan...and not trying to scare you or anyone else, but she said she is personally not ruling out the possibility of symptoms being Benzo WD related until it is after years 7-10.  Now before you or anyone else reading this starts to panic, what she is getting at is that symptoms can still be annoying for that long for some?  The symptoms that far out are not life altering or life affecting like they are during the worst of your withdrawal....like what you are currently experiencing.

 

For example, if your current symptoms are between a 7 and 10 on a 1-10 scale, with 10 being the worst, some may still experience symptoms 7-10 years out but most likely at a 1 or 2 level on the that same 1-10 scale?  I still get an off night of sleep every now and then that reminds me of the "bad old withdrawal days" and I will be 3 years off this summer.  Oddly my sleep keeps slowly improving.  I now get 6-10 hours per night.  The 9-10 hours per night is new the past 4-5 months and that happens 2 or 3 times per week now.

 

Again, 7-10 years is for a small minority of Benzo users, but I bring that up to put things into perspective.  Some expect to be healed in a few months and some a few years and some 7-10 years.  It is unique and different for everyone.  I highly doubt you are in that long term time frame.

 

I will say that Depression, Burning and itching, Terror thoughts and Intrusive thoughts are ALL COMMONLY reported WD symptoms.  These will continue to fade in intensity over time.

 

Congratulations on 11 months.  You have come a long way and will feel like yourself again one day.

 

 

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Thanks, I do feel like I'm improving. In fact, my sleep feels very similar to how it did before the benzos now besides the fact that I no longer can sleep in late. I am starting to care about other stuff again, which is a good sign. I went out with a group of colleagues to trivia last night for the first time since last spring. Another thing I'm noticing is work is starting to trigger my anxiety again. That's why I was on the benzos in the first place. I think I had been so depersonalized for so long it was blocking my anxiety and I had complete apathy in my classroom and didn't care what was going on around me. The anxiety does feel much worse than it felt last year, but I'm hoping it improves because I had two pretty good days this week, Tuesday and Thursday. 
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Thanks, I do feel like I'm improving. In fact, my sleep feels very similar to how it did before the benzos now besides the fact that I no longer can sleep in late. I am starting to care about other stuff again, which is a good sign. I went out with a group of colleagues to trivia last night for the first time since last spring. Another thing I'm noticing is work is starting to trigger my anxiety again. That's why I was on the benzos in the first place. I think I had been so depersonalized for so long it was blocking my anxiety and I had complete apathy in my classroom and didn't care what was going on around me. The anxiety does feel much worse than it felt last year, but I'm hoping it improves because I had two pretty good days this week, Tuesday and Thursday.

 

Really happy for you Boom! Keep it up my friend.

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