i am scared

[[Fi...]]

...Other thing that scares me is that I am almost 6 months and still like this, I don't know if I can handle to a year or two...I keep holding on to the 6 month...but people say they still have symptoms at 6 month....If someone say I will get much better at 6 month then I will hold on too...

 

You don't have to handle another year or two ever, Tracy - you just have to handle "today" (and, maybe, sometimes "this hour", "this minute").

 

Let go of timescales and let go of looking forward and looking back. When you think about it, that habit is only a further source of pressure (and nothing else!). Never mind what anyone else says about "6 months" or any number of months. Later on in your recovery, you will be able to look forward/backwards again without any of it  causing you any problems - but, for now, put it out of bounds.

 

You have come a very long way and done an awful lot of hard work in getting to "here".  :thumbsup:

 

Keep it moving, one tiny, tiny step at a time, just for today.

 

You can do this!  :smitten: 

 

 

[[Re...]]

...Other thing that scares me is that I am almost 6 months and still like this, I don't know if I can handle to a year or two...I keep holding on to the 6 month...but people say they still have symptoms at 6 month....If someone say I will get much better at 6 month then I will hold on too...

 

You don't have to handle another year or two ever, Tracy - you just have to handle "today" (and, maybe, sometimes "this hour", "this minute").

 

Let go of timescales and let go of looking forward and looking back. When you think about it, that habit is only a further source of pressure (and nothing else!). Never mind what anyone else says about "6 months" or any number of months. Later on in your recovery, you will be able to look forward/backwards again without any of it  causing you any problems - but, for now, put it out of bounds.

 

You have come a very long way and done an awful lot of hard work in getting to "here".  :thumbsup:

 

Keep it moving, one tiny, tiny step at a time, just for today.

 

You can do this!  :smitten: 

 

Perfect advice 

[[Ca...]]

I am also coming up on six months and had thought that I would see significant improvement by this point......not the case.  In some ways, my symptoms have worsened -- or I am just getting worn out from moving from distraction to distraction.  I developed severe lumbar and now cervical spine pain about two months off, found out I have severe degenerative disc disease but it had been asymptomatic until then.  My short term memory also seems to be worsening

 

My newer sx include some vision problems, increased anxiety, increased physical pain, increasing depression, and fearfulness of being with people.  I have extreme apathy and very little interests me -- other than my symptoms!!

 

A few sx have waned somewhat ...the sedated exhaustion feeling is now just anxious exhaustion and three mornings I did not wake up with a racing heart.  I also do not wake up drenched in sweat.  That left at around four month.

 

What I do to get through this is to tell myself over and over that my symptoms are just benzo withdrawal, that they will pass and then try to do a chore or a crossword puzzle or journal or text or call someone.

 

I've thought repeatedly about reinstating but keep concluding that I cannot take the chance that I would feel worse.  Or just have to go through this process for years.  It may be years anyway, but having to deal with the drug, itself, would be horrifying.

 

To everyone else who is suffering......do what you can to get through the next hour........

 

Carol

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Did I ever tell you here on the board that I had a BAG BESIDE MY DOOR (packed with everything I would need in the hospital) because I had the feeling I would every moment need to call the ambulance?

 

That bag stayed there 3 years long. Every day I told me, tomorrow. Or: Next hour.. :'(

It was so terrible.

 

The bag is gone now. And so it will for you..

[[Tr...]]

...Other thing that scares me is that I am almost 6 months and still like this, I don't know if I can handle to a year or two...I keep holding on to the 6 month...but people say they still have symptoms at 6 month....If someone say I will get much better at 6 month then I will hold on too...

 

You don't have to handle another year or two ever, Tracy - you just have to handle "today" (and, maybe, sometimes "this hour", "this minute").

 

Let go of timescales and let go of looking forward and looking back. When you think about it, that habit is only a further source of pressure (and nothing else!). Never mind what anyone else says about "6 months" or any number of months. Later on in your recovery, you will be able to look forward/backwards again without any of it  causing you any problems - but, for now, put it out of bounds.

 

You have come a very long way and done an awful lot of hard work in getting to "here".  :thumbsup:

 

Keep it moving, one tiny, tiny step at a time, just for today.

 

You can do this!  :smitten: 

 

Thank you so much.  I will try to let go of the time and live day by day. I have thoughts of the future today, but then I told my mind that I only need to live today if I Can get through today I am happy. I don't need to worry about tomorrow, when tomorrow comes I will deal with but be present today is good enough . It's not easy b/c it has been a habit in my head to worry so much about the future so it will take time.

 

[[Tr...]]

I am also coming up on six months and had thought that I would see significant improvement by this point......not the case.  In some ways, my symptoms have worsened -- or I am just getting worn out from moving from distraction to distraction.  I developed severe lumbar and now cervical spine pain about two months off, found out I have severe degenerative disc disease but it had been asymptomatic until then.  My short term memory also seems to be worsening

 

My newer sx include some vision problems, increased anxiety, increased physical pain, increasing depression, and fearfulness of being with people.  I have extreme apathy and very little interests me -- other than my symptoms!!

 

A few sx have waned somewhat ...the sedated exhaustion feeling is now just anxious exhaustion and three mornings I did not wake up with a racing heart.  I also do not wake up drenched in sweat.  That left at around four month.

 

What I do to get through this is to tell myself over and over that my symptoms are just benzo withdrawal, that they will pass and then try to do a chore or a crossword puzzle or journal or text or call someone.

 

I've thought repeatedly about reinstating but keep concluding that I cannot take the chance that I would feel worse.  Or just have to go through this process for years.  It may be years anyway, but having to deal with the drug, itself, would be horrifying.

 

To everyone else who is suffering......do what you can to get through the next hour........

 

Carol

 

We are totally in the same shoes. It's not easy but we can do this. I just try to live one day at a time.

[[Tr...]]

Did I ever tell you here on the board that I had a BAG BESIDE MY DOOR (packed with everything I would need in the hospital) because I had the feeling I would every moment need to call the ambulance?

 

That bag stayed there 3 years long. Every day I told me, tomorrow. Or: Next hour.. :'(

It was so terrible.

 

The bag is gone now. And so it will for you..

 

No you never told me.  I probably need to do that too and hopefully the bag will be gone in a short time or however long it will take.

 

 

[[Fi...]]

Thank you so much.  I will try to let go of the time and live day by day. I have thoughts of the future today, but then I told my mind that I only need to live today if I Can get through today I am happy. I don't need to worry about tomorrow, when tomorrow comes I will deal with but be present today is good enough . It's not easy b/c it has been a habit in my head to worry so much about the future so it will take time.

 

That's the spirit!