Christmas and Holiday Distraction Thread

[[Gr...]]

[[Gr...]]

We have had ENOUGH!! We will never help anyone again...EVER! we are too kind hearted or too naive. Last night it was so cold we took a man into our home out of the kindness of our hearts. We felt so sorry for him. Poor thing was trembling out in the cold but this morning he had just vanished! Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you! The last straw was when we realized he had peed all over the living room floor!!! That's the thanks we get for helping him?!! Now we are going to warn our friends to watch out for this man. He is heavy set, wearing nothing but a scarf, he has a big nose that looks like a carrot, 2 black eyes and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks! Whatever you do don't bring him into your house!!!❄️

[[wa...]]

Wow Grandma D -- I was so scared for you when I read this.  But it took me a minute to "get it".  Am I in a wave or what...

 

We have had ENOUGH!! We will never help anyone again...EVER! we are too kind hearted or too naive. Last night it was so cold we took a man into our home out of the kindness of our hearts. We felt so sorry for him. Poor thing was trembling out in the cold but this morning he had just vanished! Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you! The last straw was when we realized he had peed all over the living room floor!!! That's the thanks we get for helping him?!! Now we are going to warn our friends to watch out for this man. He is heavy set, wearing nothing but a scarf, he has a big nose that looks like a carrot, 2 black eyes and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks! Whatever you do don't bring him into your house!!!❄️

[[br...]]

 

Do you all know the story of 'The Little Match Girl'.

 

This is a horrible story to tell children  When I was little my sister who is five years older than me would grab me and sit me down with a sweetie and a promise to tell me a story. She would start into  the story of the poor little match girl, dragging out the morbid details until finally I would burst into tears and beg her to stop. Once I cried so hard I peed in my pants. Nanny would get cross with me for being such a baby and my sister would go off smirking.

 

So not all Christmas memories are good.

[[Gr...]]

WBB, I first saw this snowman story in my newsfeed on Facebook and just like you was afraid for the poster. Then once I got to the nose looking like a carrot part I realized it was a joke. Others remarked how they were cold also.

 

Rabbit, I have many unpleasant memories of Christmas also coming from a home we're both my drank. And this Christmas is probably one of the worst ones I've had in a long long time.

[[Ce...]]

We have had ENOUGH!! We will never help anyone again...EVER! we are too kind hearted or too naive. Last night it was so cold we took a man into our home out of the kindness of our hearts. We felt so sorry for him. Poor thing was trembling out in the cold but this morning he had just vanished! Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you! The last straw was when we realized he had peed all over the living room floor!!! That's the thanks we get for helping him?!! Now we are going to warn our friends to watch out for this man. He is heavy set, wearing nothing but a scarf, he has a big nose that looks like a carrot, 2 black eyes and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks! Whatever you do don't bring him into your house!!!❄️

 

 

hahahaha!!!  You had me going, D...when I got to the part about him wearing only a scarf, I started thinking what is wrong with these people?!! Good one! I gotta remember this...too funny! Thanks for a much needed belly laugh and a total sense of relief once I got to the end and realized it was a joke!...oh, for funny!  http://i664.photobucket.com/albums/vv2/rudolph_hart/image1.gif

[[wa...]]

- I love the idea of "shopapocalypse" and have been a fan of the Rev for a long time.  I hope no one is offended because it's a laugh but also food for thought.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73AyxENTsZs

 

 

[[Ce...]]

 

Do you all know the story of 'The Little Match Girl'.

 

This is a horrible story to tell children  When I was little my sister who is five years older than me would grab me and sit me down with a sweetie and a promise to tell me a story. She would start into  the story of the poor little match girl, dragging out the morbid details until finally I would burst into tears and beg her to stop. Once I cried so hard I peed in my pants. Nanny would get cross with me for being such a baby and my sister would go off smirking.

 

So not all Christmas memories are good.

 

Kids can sure be cruel! Especially siblings to one another....http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk143/faeini1/1sm258fight-1.gif This is how we fought in my household growing up.

 

This is how I would have preferred the memory to be:  http://i426.photobucket.com/albums/pp349/shacoe/Smileys/fighting/pillowfight.gif

 

It was awful! Like we hated each other or something...My older brother was the "molder", I think , if not for him, my younger brothers and I would have gotten along much better, still had our fights, I'm sure...but nothing like what it was.

 

Oh well...'tis the season: http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/amethyst5891/Christmas/xmas5Fwreath4-vi.gif

[[Gr...]]

We have had ENOUGH!! We will never help anyone again...EVER! we are too kind hearted or too naive. Last night it was so cold we took a man into our home out of the kindness of our hearts. We felt so sorry for him. Poor thing was trembling out in the cold but this morning he had just vanished! Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you! The last straw was when we realized he had peed all over the living room floor!!! That's the thanks we get for helping him?!! Now we are going to warn our friends to watch out for this man. He is heavy set, wearing nothing but a scarf, he has a big nose that looks like a carrot, 2 black eyes and his arms are so skinny they look like sticks! Whatever you do don't bring him into your house!!!❄️

 

 

hahahaha!!!  You had me going, D...when I got to the part about him wearing only a scarf, I started thinking what is wrong with these people?!! Good one! I gotta remember this...too funny! Thanks for a much needed belly laugh and a total sense of relief once I got to the end and realized it was a joke!...oh, for funny!  http://i664.photobucket.com/albums/vv2/rudolph_hart/image1.gif

 

When I originally read it on FB it "got" me too! Then when I read about the nose I thought it had to be a snowman. lol I was surprised that some people on FB didn't realize it was a joke - one friend even chastised me for judging someone! lol

[[Ce...]]

Another riddle...anybody?? It's easier! The hint is on one of the posts above this one ^^...

 

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? 

 

 

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l37/applesbabe4ever/Apples/Christmasapple29855.jpg

[[2t...]]

 

When I lived in N.Y. I went to a friends house. The sofas were covered in plastic, as were the sofas, chairs , lamps  and dining room seats. The furniture underneath the covers was pristine new. You stuck to the seats when you sat down, and worse, made farty noises. They were a well off family, living in a gorgeous apartment on 5th Avenue. Go figure

 

Christmas Pudding

 

I had a friend when I was a kid who's parents did the same and I seem to remember the car seats were also covered in plastic, very slippery when going around a bend.

[[Gr...]]

I give!!! 

[[Ce...]]

I give!!! 

 

 

You get a PINEapple! http://i426.photobucket.com/albums/pp341/j-to-da-p/pineapplesrule.jpg 

[[Gr...]]

lol Where do you get these anyway CeeCee?

[[Ce...]]

lol Where do you get these anyway CeeCee?

 

I get these off a Christmas site online...cute jokes (and corny as all get out), riddles and trivia. It's kinda fun! Great distraction...here's another:

 

Santa Claus, an honest politician and a kind lawyer were all on an elevator together when they spotted a $5 bill lying on the floor. Who picked it up?

 

You may have already heard this one...I know I have anyway!  It's a politician/lawyer joke!

 

http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii184/Alexcat26/007.gif

[[Gr...]]

I hope you check back in here soon I want to know the answer!

[[wa...]]

Santas and elevators http://i1152.photobucket.com/albums/p497/wendy236/0541a_zpsk0ec4kn8.gif

[[Ce...]]

I hope you check back in here soon I want to know the answer!

 

Okay already!...ha! J/K....A. .Santa Claus, of course. The other two don't exist!

[[Ce...]]

Santas and elevators http://i1152.photobucket.com/albums/p497/wendy236/0541a_zpsk0ec4kn8.gif

 

So sweet!...http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v738/LadyFire/Christmas/Santas/santabells01.gif

[[Gr...]]

I hope you check back in here soon I want to know the answer!

 

Okay already!...ha! J/K....A. .Santa Claus, of course. The other two don't exist!

 

LOL! Aren't you the clever one! LOL!

[[Ce...]]

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n108/PioneerSpirit/Weather/Snowing.gif

 

 

Got another for ya D!! These are just too cute, these jokes...What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas time?

http://i1383.photobucket.com/albums/ah296/cecetoo/Christmas/animouse2-1_1.gif

[[wa...]]

something with cheese, I bet 

 

http://i1152.photobucket.com/albums/p497/wendy236/tumblr_mezo83GiLj1rouwdqo1_500_zpscpacvyqi.gif

[[Ce...]]

something with cheese, I bet 

 

http://i1152.photobucket.com/albums/p497/wendy236/tumblr_mezo83GiLj1rouwdqo1_500_zpscpacvyqi.gif

 

This is great WBB! Talk about the memory flood! Whoa! Our kids and their kids will never know this Mickey...so sad!

 

No cheese in the answer...They just send Cross-mouse cards! haha! Cute.  http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z315/pqsy4ka/MerryChristmas-1.gif

[[wa...]]

Ha - thanks Ce Ce

 

Hey - I don't remember Hanukkah ever starting on Xmas Eve.  I also did not know all the stuff that goes along with lighting the Menorah -

 

In the home, there are two preferred locations for the menorah.

 

You can set up the menorah in a central doorway. Place it on a chair or small table near the doorpost that is opposite the mezuzah. This way, when you pass through the doorway, you are surrounded by two mitzvot - the mezuzah and the menorah. Ideally, the menorah lights should be between 12 and 40 inches off the ground.

 

Or you can set up your menorah on a windowsill facing the street. This option should only be exercised if the window is less than thirty feet above ground-level.

When

 

The Chanukah lights are kindled every night of Chanukah. The Maccabees chased away the forces of darkness with swords; we do it with light.

 

The custom of many communities (and such is the Chabad-Lubavitch custom) is to light the menorah shortly after sunset. In other communities, the menorah is kindled after nightfall (approximately thirty minutes after sunset). Read more on the exact time to light here. Either way, the menorah must contain enough fuel to burn for at least thirty minutes after nightfall. 

 

Cool -  Wbb

[[Gr...]]

lol @ CeeCee!