Doctor's appointment from hell !!!!!! HELP !!!!!!!

[[Gr...]]

 

I do have a question for you. Are you serious about wanting to feel and be better . What you are doing to yourself right now can only lead to one thing. This can't be what you really want for yourself. You (not I) brought up Michael Jackson. Michael had a wonderful tour coming up , loving family and generally a great life. His tragic death because of a lethal dose of multiple drugs was accidental, but was also in part because he was in denial about the ultimate consequence of his drug usage. Every post from you screams denial. If you are serious about taking back your life you need to first get out of denial ,and then accept that you have a very serious problem. Please get  help.

 

Excellent post brave rabbit. 

[[To...]]

 

I do have a question for you. Are you serious about wanting to feel and be better . What you are doing to yourself right now can only lead to one thing. This can't be what you really want for yourself. You (not I) brought up Michael Jackson. Michael had a wonderful tour coming up , loving family and generally a great life. His tragic death because of a lethal dose of multiple drugs was accidental, but was also in part because he was in denial about the ultimate consequence of his drug usage. Every post from you screams denial. If you are serious about taking back your life you need to first get out of denial ,and then accept that you have a very serious problem. Please get  help.

 

Excellent post brave rabbit. 

 

 

Brave Rabbit and Grandma D :  Where is this coming from all of a sudden ? Seem like none of you two seems to have read let alone understood my latest posts or if you did you must have skimmed through it and just tried to find something so you could pick on me. I already confirmed plenty times on these last few pages I was agreeing with Challis99 and many others about the kindling.

 

" Are you serious about wanting to feel and be better . What you are doing to yourself right now can only lead to one thing."

 

Man or woman you can't be for real, this pisses me off beyond any recognition. I just wrote in these last pages I was going to taper back down and am currently already in the process of doing so. Forget about the Oxycodone, I know better than that believe me and I explained the reason for asking for this substance in one of the many posts you didn't read in here. I suggest you do better research before you start some bull shit allover again. If it's something personal or you are just bored and need someone to pick on you're both making a big mistake here. I agree with Challis99 about what she said to me, I'm already over it for almost a full day now. So yes I was wrong about a lot of things in this thread but I was also misunderstood about even more. I opened up to you guys and played it fair and square being totally honest and I'm pretty convinced none of you two will ever in their entire life get to the point you dare to do that. And for the final time :

 

 

I AM NOT A DRUG SEEKER !!!!!!!!!!!!!        

 

 

 

Happy now ? Seriously people need to chill ...

[[Ce...]]

Can we all stop judging each other and remember we are here for support and not to hurt or harm? Let's be friends again and remember we're all in a lot of pain here.   

[[Ce...]]

Btw TR, Your avatars are the best!  They give me a smile everytime I see them....

[[be...]]

Think we should put this thread to bed. I'm out. Let's start fresh. Too much chaos for my brain fog right now. B

[[To...]]

Can we all stop judging each other and remember we are here for support and not to hurt or harm? Let's be friends again and remember we're all in a lot of pain here.   

 

 

Fair enough and thank you but :

 

 

I'm not the one judging. They are the ones coming to my thread accusing me of being a drug user. OMG !!!!! I'm on the equivalent dose of 15 mg of Valium and in the process of tapering off. I haven't touched anything since 1999 except for the Oxynorm my doctor gave me once back in December of 2015. These people are telling me I am in denial of being a drug user and using multiple drugs. I would say have you looked around at the signatures of people in this forum and please go pick out someone else that is worth of being called a drug user but not someone that is on 15 mg of Valium. What do you think ??

 

 

 

Anyways thank you CeCe      :'(

 

 

 

 

They piss me off SO much !!!!   

[[Ce...]]

Can we all stop judging each other and remember we are here for support and not to hurt or harm? Let's be friends again and remember we're all in a lot of pain here.   

 

 

Fair enough and thank you but :

 

 

I'm not the one judging. They are the ones coming to my thread accusing me of being a drug user. OMG !!!!! I'm on the equivalent dose of 15 mg of Valium and in the process of tapering off. I haven't touched anything since 1999 except for the Oxynorm my doctor gave me once back in December of 2015. These people are telling me I am in denial of being a drug user and using multiple drugs. I would say have you looked around at the signatures of people in this forum and please go pick out someone else that is worth of being called a drug user but not someone that is on 15 mg of Valium. What do you think ??

 

 

 

Anyways thank you CeCe      :'(

 

 

 

 

They piss me off SO much !!!!   

 

 

I know TR    I wasn't just referring to you.  I'm talking about all of us here.

[[To...]]

Seriously people need to chill ....     

[[br...]]

I was not judging you or trying to hurt your feelings. I never said that you were a drug seeker. I have taken the time to read everyone of your postings. I am sorry that you are in such pain. I am glad that you are cutting down. I still think that you need help, and that trying to struggle along by yourself is not a good plan.

 

I also think we need to get rid of this thread.

 

 

[[Gr...]]

I was not judging you or trying to hurt your feelings. I never said that you were a drug seeker. I have taken the time to read everyone of your postings. I am sorry that you are in such pain. I am glad that you are cutting down. I still think that you need help, and that trying to struggle along by yourself is not a good plan.

 

I also think we need to get rid of this thread.

 

I totally agree.

[[To...]]

I was not judging you or trying to hurt your feelings. I never said that you were a drug seeker. I have taken the time to read everyone of your postings. I am sorry that you are in such pain. I am glad that you are cutting down. I still think that you need help, and that trying to struggle along by yourself is not a good plan.

 

I also think we need to get rid of this thread.    I think this thread needs to get rid of you .... 

 

 

 

 

 

First of all ... Where is your signature ? Who are you and what is your story with benzodiazepines ? I'm being open and honest about my situation here, sharing a life story and event of what happened in a doctors meeting and you come here judging me without a freaking signature acting like you know it all.

 

"I still think that you need help, and that trying to struggle along by yourself is not a good plan."

 

Why are you under the impression that your opinion matters to me ? You totally misjudged the situation, coming in here saying I'm in denial and doing drugs just like Michael Jackson. Go google what Michael Jackson took before he died and compare it to the 15 mg of Valium I'm taking daily.

 

The thread is what it is and has become what it has become, there were very meaningful discussions and I got to meet and learn about new people in it. There were some differences in opinion, we talked it out. Some things were said, there are no hard feelings from my side. I see the thread has done some kind of a rebirth into a thread about "prescription drugs" and have no problem with it. Most people don't have a problem with it and you can go read how they came in and were supportive and even told me what a nice thread I had been going on.

 

Why you want this thread to be closed ? You want all other threads you don't like to be closed too ? Is that how you are thinking ? Is it your call to close this thread ? We've been having a lot of fun in it too and once again there were very meaningful discussions and points of views and even arguments. All have learned about it and not all were against me, there were A HELL OF A LOT of supportive people coming in too like should be the case on a support group. Now you just come in here after insulting me and say that this thread needs to be closed. How old are you ? 5 ? 7 ? If you don't like this thread, like apparently obvious then just don't come here anymore and stay away. Then don't come in and don't read any of it.

 

[[To...]]

I was not judging you or trying to hurt your feelings. I never said that you were a drug seeker. I have taken the time to read everyone of your postings. I am sorry that you are in such pain. I am glad that you are cutting down. I still think that you need help, and that trying to struggle along by yourself is not a good plan.

 

I also think we need to get rid of this thread.

 

I totally agree.

 

 

So you totally agree with Brave Rabbit like you always do but do you have anything for yourself to say ? Do you have an own opinion or are you just following Brave Rabbit all over the forum telling him he's right ?

[Guest [Ka...]]

I don't know how old you are but I had this a lot when I was in my 20's and 30's. I always had the feeling I had to do something. I don't think this is benzo-withdrawal at all but very common and normal for most people living in society trying to live up to the crazy norms and standards they put on you. I lost this feeling with getting older and finally threw it out the window. You are not here to work, slave or achieve or to walk whatever nonsense road to succes. You are here simply to be human and be yourself. You are here to be. Just be. And just think about it , you are always "doing" something. You don't have to go all crazy every day with trying to achieve goals and succes. This is not how we as a human race were meant to exist and be but these are bull shit rules society put on us and it enslaved most of us if not all. Stress is caused due to society, money, making comparisons with each other is no good. We are all created equal to the image of God. Doesn't even matter if you believe in him or not. He believes in you. You can just rest on your coach or bed with a cup of coffee and tee, watch some television or a movie on Netflix without feeling guilty or ashamed. You are "Healing".     

 

I just had to say that this comment made my day! Very wise words

 

Kay

[[Ce...]]

I don't know how old you are but I had this a lot when I was in my 20's and 30's. I always had the feeling I had to do something. I don't think this is benzo-withdrawal at all but very common and normal for most people living in society trying to live up to the crazy norms and standards they put on you. I lost this feeling with getting older and finally threw it out the window. You are not here to work, slave or achieve or to walk whatever nonsense road to succes. You are here simply to be human and be yourself. You are here to be. Just be. And just think about it , you are always "doing" something. You don't have to go all crazy every day with trying to achieve goals and succes. This is not how we as a human race were meant to exist and be but these are bull shit rules society put on us and it enslaved most of us if not all. Stress is caused due to society, money, making comparisons with each other is no good. We are all created equal to the image of God. Doesn't even matter if you believe in him or not. He believes in you. You can just rest on your coach or bed with a cup of coffee and tee, watch some television or a movie on Netflix without feeling guilty or ashamed. You are "Healing".     

 

I just had to say that this comment made my day! Very wise words

 

Kay

 

Ditto!   

[[To...]]

Btw TR, Your avatars are the best!  They give me a smile everytime I see them....

 

Cece, That's the reason I put them up there !! So they would put a smile on people's faces and we all can have some fun.   

 

Seriously people need to chill ....   

 

Most are being WAY too serious in here and it's getting a disease but I knew from the start YOU WERE DIFFERENT. You want to have fun, joke around and smile every so often. We need to act and behave more like kids. Some people will say my avatars are childish and that I'm just acting like a little kid or even being one ....   

 

A 12 year old right CeCe or even a 5 or 7 year old ....   

 

But see if I care, I just want to have some fun, don't always have to be about withdrawals ....   

 

 

 

[[Ce...]]

Btw TR, Your avatars are the best!  They give me a smile everytime I see them....

 

Cece, That's the reason I put them up there !! So they would put a smile on people's faces and we all can have some fun.   

 

Seriously people need to chill ....   

 

Most are being WAY too serious in here and it's getting a disease but I knew from the start YOU WERE DIFFERENT. You want to have fun, joke around and smile every so often. We need to act and behave more like kids. Some people will say my avatars are childish and that I'm just acting like a little kid or even being one ....   

 

A 12 year old right CeCe or even a 5 or 7 year old ....   

 

But see if I care, I just want to have some fun, don't always have to be about withdrawals ....   

 

 

 

 

:2funny:  I wasn't sure how to take you at first, but am loving your posts....I know I am "acting like a school girl"    but I don't care either! This w/d stuff is bad enough....we can't lose our sense of humor. I can't imagine not having a sense of humor.....

[[To...]]

I don't know how old you are but I had this a lot when I was in my 20's and 30's. I always had the feeling I had to do something. I don't think this is benzo-withdrawal at all but very common and normal for most people living in society trying to live up to the crazy norms and standards they put on you. I lost this feeling with getting older and finally threw it out the window. You are not here to work, slave or achieve or to walk whatever nonsense road to succes. You are here simply to be human and be yourself. You are here to be. Just be. And just think about it , you are always "doing" something. You don't have to go all crazy every day with trying to achieve goals and succes. This is not how we as a human race were meant to exist and be but these are bull shit rules society put on us and it enslaved most of us if not all. Stress is caused due to society, money, making comparisons with each other is no good. We are all created equal to the image of God. Doesn't even matter if you believe in him or not. He believes in you. You can just rest on your coach or bed with a cup of coffee and tee, watch some television or a movie on Netflix without feeling guilty or ashamed. You are "Healing".     

 

I just had to say that this comment made my day! Very wise words

 

Kay

 

Ditto!   

 

 

  You are both SO very welcome. I want you to be happy !! If you got the message and it spoke through your heart and it resonated and awakened something deep inside of you, it gives me the best feeling in the world and I'm so happy and thankful and grateful for that.   

 

 

 

[[Ce...]]

I just noticed your caption thingy, TR  "I am not a drug seeker"  I'm still laughing......

[[2t...]]

I feel as if benzobuddies will ban me for saying not to trust your doctors so I just want to say I am only telling my story and why I don't tell the truth to my doctors -- but I am not necessarily advocating it or telling other people to do the same. I am just expressing an opinion on this topic: that doctors suck when it comes to this and they can never understand, nor do they want to. Conventional western medicine is a disaster and it is why we are all here: because of the toxic waste those doctors prescribe in the first place.

 

I don't think BB will ban you for talking this way, Most of us have been put in this situation by doctors ignorance and have a hard time trusting them when they don't seem to want to help or understand what we are going through.

[[be...]]

I agree and I think we can freely talk about one bad experience or more if we have them. Think the only point was not to bash all doctors. I could write a book about my old doctor who in my opinion was just downright evil. Yet my new family doctor and psychiatrist are fantastic. I just don't think it's fair to put all of them under one blanket. A lot of us are really in pain here and very open at times to the power of suggestion so bashing ALL doctors isn't really fair unless of course you've met them all. My father in law is a retired surgeon. Believe me surgeons get bashed. Arrogant, impossible to reach etc. He's the kindest man in the world. Cared deeply about his patients. Christmas cards poured in every year from his patients. So not all doctors are bad. But the bad ones unfortunately make the rest seem that way. B

[[To...]]

  Yo guys let's get this thread back on the road it's getting boring.

 

 

 

But I just recently recalled and did the math about something I forgot to mention concerning the doctorsvisite in my first post. You guys know I'm always trying to be totally honest and I just can't leave it out.

 

But I haven't been seeing this doctor for many months due to my agoraphobia, this is getting better now but during those months I would run out of pills like Zoloft, Ambien and some Valium and also an innocent nose spray called Mometasone. I have a really close and good relationship with my pharmacist and when I ran out he would just give me all these meds without any hesitation. So I'm truly grateful for him being so understanding to me. Of course I need to bring in all these prescriptions as soon as possible and that's what I did a few days ago.

 

But this one time it was one of his assistent girl clerks that was handling my case when I asked her for a box of Valium on credit and she started panicking maybe not knowing about my relationship with the boss. So she goes like : "Uhhhhh .... wait a minute please sir , I have to go ask about this and request at the back ... ". I just knew this time was NO good. Then she came back and seemed like she had been calling my doctor to ask if it was oké to give me a small package of Valium. So there was no problem but when I visited the doctor she told me she really wasn't too happy with me going to get meds on credit. I don't blame the girl, she was just doing her job and what's right. Do you guys think this was another "Red Flag" for my GP ?? I bet it was but I could barely leave the house and going outside to go see the doctor even worse. I have to be really forced to leave the house.

 

Anyways I just wanted to throw it in here. Is this something in my doctors favor or is it again my fault ?? I mean I had such anxiety to go see her in the first place, for a great deal agoraphobic. I only leave the house if I have no other choice. I keep wondering if I get the blame for this once again. I mean I do have my limitations you know. I think she shouldn't have made such a big deal out of this whole issue, she only like spend 10 minutes on me and we had an appointment 20 minutes earlier meaning she was 20 minutes too late.   

[[be...]]

Agoraphobia is a huge issue for me. Sadly lots of people just don't get it...even some doctors. They may very well interpret not coming in on schedule as a red flag or even phoning for a refill. I'm really worried about that I cancelled today's appointment. What will he say in 2 weeks and I had to book a morning appointment. So freaking out yet he's never let me down before. Ever. Just thinking about this now though is making me sicker. I can't spend 2 weeks worrying about something that may not happen. But now I probably will. B

[[To...]]

Agoraphobia is a huge issue for me. Sadly lots of people just don't get it...even some doctors. They may very well interpret not coming in on schedule as a red flag or even phoning for a refill. I'm really worried about that I cancelled today's appointment. What will he say in 2 weeks and I had to book a morning appointment. So freaking out yet he's never let me down before. Ever. Just thinking about this now though is making me sicker. I can't spend 2 weeks worrying about something that may not happen. But now I probably will. B

 

 

That's totally so. You don't want to leave the house but when you cancel the appointment you can't stop worrying and you get even sicker. I know what you're talking about ... believe me I've been doing this for years. Just postponing any appointment and feeling guilty about it and worrying sick. I get what you are writing here so well I could/might have easily written it myself. I'm even afraid to make a phone-call, I really have to push myself through that one but I never do it in the first place. Anything goes by email. I just can't do it and I never pick up a phone either. That's even worse !!!! I have a cellphone but I don't know what to do with it. They keep calling me and I don't pick up. It's not that I can't do it, of course I can and on the rare occasions I do accept or make a phone call it turns out fine. But in my head the definition of F.I.N.E is as some of you must know : "Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional". That's how I feel after each phone call and I avoid it as the plague ...

[[he...]]

Hi TR,

 

This is Heather. Are you at least feeling a bit better today??

[[Ce...]]

Agoraphobia is a huge issue for me. Sadly lots of people just don't get it...even some doctors. They may very well interpret not coming in on schedule as a red flag or even phoning for a refill. I'm really worried about that I cancelled today's appointment. What will he say in 2 weeks and I had to book a morning appointment. So freaking out yet he's never let me down before. Ever. Just thinking about this now though is making me sicker. I can't spend 2 weeks worrying about something that may not happen. But now I probably will. B

 

 

That's totally so. You don't want to leave the house but when you cancel the appointment you can't stop worrying and you get even sicker. I know what you're talking about ... believe me I've been doing this for years. Just postponing any appointment and feeling guilty about it and worrying sick. I get what you are writing here so well I could/might have easily written it myself. I'm even afraid to make a phone-call, I really have to push myself through that one but I never do it in the first place. Anything goes by email. I just can't do it and I never pick up a phone either. That's even worse !!!! I have a cellphone but I don't know what to do with it. They keep calling me and I don't pick up. It's not that I can't do it, of course I can and on the rare occasions I do accept or make a phone call it turns out fine. But in my head the definition of F.I.N.E is as some of you must know : "Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional". That's how I feel after each phone call and I avoid it as the plague ...

 

 

I am so on board with you both as far as going out, even just to my appointments, I cancel, avoid to make phone calls, avoid the phone and when the doorbell rings....I freak! I've always been kind of a loner, but never this bad. The anxiety just goes through the roof when I have to do any of these things. I don't want to become recluse, but I'm bordering on it right now. I'm a borderline recluse. That's what I'm diagnosing myself as. lol