Doctor's appointment from hell !!!!!! HELP !!!!!!!

[Guest [Cl...]]

No seriously come on, I just told my doctor I felt the urge of getting some X. If there's one person you should be able to tell that to it would be your doctor, no ? Why can't I be real on this forum ?? It's always something ... I just asked my doc about my feelings of taking some X, does this mean I will go score some ?? I highly doubt it in my situation ... People need to get real in here. There's too much bitching. I'm playing an open game with you guys and being honest and being punished and spit in the face for it, don't give me a slap in my face for it, I hate that shit. I will post again about my problems ... Can't even be real and tell it like it is. It gets pretty useless like this. And counter productive to say the least. Not even worth posting anymore.

 

I used to say crazy things to my doctor, too, like admitting that I would buy klonopin off the streets if they didn't give it to me. Now that was really stupid of me to say. That didn't get me anywhere, haha.  I've learned not to say anything to them, as mentioned before. NOTHING. They don't deserve it. TRUST NO ONE.

[[be...]]

Clara I at least so far talk to my doctor and level with him. I'm positive he's truly got my best interests at heart. The only thing he treats are benzo addictions so he's seen and heard it all. I feel I owe it to him to be honest. If I end up regretting it I guess I do. But I've been going to him for about 14 months now. Never had a bad issue with him. All doctors are not bad ones. They really aren't. B

[[me...]]

Hello TotalRelapse, and others posting here.  We do have rules against doctor bashing and we take them seriously.  You all agreed to follow our rules when you joined BenzoBuddies.  This is from our Rules and Guidelines:

 

Anti-doctor, Anti-psychiatrist and Anti-medicine Comments:

 

Many of our members report negative experiences with doctors, psychiatrists, the pharmaceutical industry, health regulators, or the medical profession as a whole. While we do not wish to outlaw comments about how members feel let down and mistreated in their personal medical care, you must keep your feelings and comments in perspective.

Some of our members are vulnerable and might be rather suggestible when they arrive at this website and forum. Your comments might have undue and unintended results upon some of those reading them. Your own experiences with the medical profession are precisely this – your own experiences. It is the view of BenzoBuddies that it would be irresponsible for members to not seek or ignore medical advice from their doctors, psychiatrists and other healthcare providers. Of course, doctors do make mistakes, and there is much confusion and misinformation about the potential side and withdrawal effects of benzodiazepines. But if you are dissatisfied with the advice or service provided by your doctor, you should probably seek the opinion of another doctor. Medical advice from your doctor should not be replaced by the suggestions of anonymous people on the Internet – this is plain common sense. You should discuss with your doctor any ideas and suggestions made by members of this forum and website.

 

Few of our members are medical professionals, but even their advice should be treated with due caution. Firstly, we do not screen our members, so there is no way of verifying their medical credentials. Secondly, they cannot know your full and true medical history, so cannot make sound 'diagnoses'. Thirdly, if you are skeptical of the medical profession and/or dissatisfied with the performance of your doctor or psychiatrist, how can medical advice from someone on the Internet be more trusted than the advice from a real-world and verifiable doctor? Your doctor is your medical caregiver, not BenzoBuddies, nor any other support website.

 

By suggesting that others should not trust doctors, psychiatrists and the medical profession as a whole, you potentially endanger other members and visitors to this forum. BenzoBuddies is not an anti-doctor or anti-psychiatry website. Our members need their doctors, not only to supply them with prescriptions for benzodiazepines, but to meet their other medical needs too. In short, you are free to describe the shortcomings in your own medical treatment, but make clear that you are writing about your personal experiences; do not spread general anti-doctor or anti-psychiatrist propaganda.

[Guest [Cl...]]

Hello TotalRelapse, and others posting here.  We do have rules against doctor bashing and we take them seriously.  You all agreed to follow our rules when you joined BenzoBuddies.  This is from our Rules and Guidelines:

 

Anti-doctor, Anti-psychiatrist and Anti-medicine Comments:

 

Many of our members report negative experiences with doctors, psychiatrists, the pharmaceutical industry, health regulators, or the medical profession as a whole. While we do not wish to outlaw comments about how members feel let down and mistreated in their personal medical care, you must keep your feelings and comments in perspective.

Some of our members are vulnerable and might be rather suggestible when they arrive at this website and forum. Your comments might have undue and unintended results upon some of those reading them. Your own experiences with the medical profession are precisely this – your own experiences. It is the view of BenzoBuddies that it would be irresponsible for members to not seek or ignore medical advice from their doctors, psychiatrists and other healthcare providers. Of course, doctors do make mistakes, and there is much confusion and misinformation about the potential side and withdrawal effects of benzodiazepines. But if you are dissatisfied with the advice or service provided by your doctor, you should probably seek the opinion of another doctor. Medical advice from your doctor should not be replaced by the suggestions of anonymous people on the Internet – this is plain common sense. You should discuss with your doctor any ideas and suggestions made by members of this forum and website.

 

Few of our members are medical professionals, but even their advice should be treated with due caution. Firstly, we do not screen our members, so there is no way of verifying their medical credentials. Secondly, they cannot know your full and true medical history, so cannot make sound 'diagnoses'. Thirdly, if you are skeptical of the medical profession and/or dissatisfied with the performance of your doctor or psychiatrist, how can medical advice from someone on the Internet be more trusted than the advice from a real-world and verifiable doctor? Your doctor is your medical caregiver, not BenzoBuddies, nor any other support website.

 

By suggesting that others should not trust doctors, psychiatrists and the medical profession as a whole, you potentially endanger other members and visitors to this forum. BenzoBuddies is not an anti-doctor or anti-psychiatry website. Our members need their doctors, not only to supply them with prescriptions for benzodiazepines, but to meet their other medical needs too. In short, you are free to describe the shortcomings in your own medical treatment, but make clear that you are writing about your personal experiences; do not spread general anti-doctor or anti-psychiatrist propaganda.

 

I guess this applies to me. Well hopefully I don't kicked off because currently this is my only source for help.

[[me...]]

Clara,  all you have to do is follow the rules from now on and there will be no problems.  That applies to everyone else here too.  Here's a link to our Community Policies Board:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=52.0

 

[[Ce...]]

Hi TR,

 

I can totally relate to and sympathize with you on your visit from hell. So many times I've gone to my appointment, and gotten so nervous, that I can't get my point across, because I've felt judged.  ClaraBrahms explained it pretty well. For me, I was trying to be totally up front in letting them know what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. I could just tell by the expressions and body language that they were putting me in a 'red flag' cubicle. It's degrading and humiliating.

 

Like Clara says; you have to be manipulative. And I can't do it. I can't be manipulititive to a doctor who I feel I should be able to be up front with. Once we start that, it isn't honest anymore. It's totally and completely unfair!

 

I hope you can get a better doctor who is educated about benzos....~CeCe     

[Guest [Le...]]

I bet she would be prescribing Oxycodone to Michael Jackson or some football player with lots of money. Well he's dead now but moot point ...

 

For anyone still having prescriptions for both benzos and opioids, please be aware that it was the combination of these drugs that killed not only Michael Jackson, but Philip Seymour Hoffman and Heath Ledger, as well.

 

Here's an article (August 31st) on the recent black-box warning issued for this deadly combo:

 

  New labels warn against mixing opioids, benzodiazepines

 

[[To...]]

Thank you for your post CeCe, it means a lot coming from you. At least someone that can relate somewhat and can see through this situation. I have been thought always to tell the truth in life and especially going to the doctor for help. I can't lie and manipulate them either that would be disgusting. There's a lot been said in this thread that's just untrue and I feel I'm being picked on.

 

1. I wasn't over medicated when I showed up at that appointment, I just took an extra 5 mg of Valium like some of you also do before going to the doctor. I wasn't acting weird at all. I been up ALL freaking night worrying about this appointment and didn't even go to bed. Yes I was very tired and spaced out, I read in here this is a fairly common benzo withdrawal symptom.

 

2. I'm not a drug seeker and I think it's low so many people keep bringing that up. I had a very special relationship with that woman doctor. She was like a friend to me and today she turned on me like a snake. I told her from the start that in the fall I get these "urges" and that in those cases it really would be best her prescribing me some legal substance. She agreed up on it and that I could ask her once a year but due to her taking a lot of stuff wrong and misunderstandings from her part she just doesn't want to do it anymore.

 

3. I'm starting to ask myself what we can discuss on this forum or if we only can sing the ABC or something, this is not real life and you know it. If you're going to restrict people that obsessive it becomes a place where you really need to pay attention to what you say and you just can't express yourself anymore nor you can be yourself anymore. All you can be is fake in here. It's hard with all the censoring it becomes difficult to not cross that thin line and to express yourself in a free manner and way.

 

I lost a doctor of which I thought the world and was a friend, she barely gave me the time of day and came late 15 minutes. We didn't have time to discuss anything, it was a nightmare, she practically threw me out at the end due to it being time for the next patient. Insurance will pay her the same money. I just had a really hard time explaining after not seeing her for about half a year. I wrote her an email and she had to read it fast when I came in because she forgot most of it when she read it the first time. Another 5 minutes gone from the remaining 15.

 

4. Challis99 and other mods you say that when tolerant to one benzo you are tolerant to all. Well not the case for me. I stopped Valium for over a month because I was totally tolerant to it and got back on the equivalent dose of my other benzo and it kicked in hard. After one month switched back to Valium and again the Valium did kick in like the very first time I took it. I get more relief taking one benzo one day and another the other day and they keep their effects and this comes in especially handy for tapering off. Then I would not take a benzo for 2 weeks and I would feel it again after being on another one during those 2 weeks. I take you guys haven't been on many different ones or actually tried out this theory because you look down on me you say it's not possible. Ok no problem !!! I know it's working for me, then don't believe it and don't preach it. I won't anymore either and keep this secret trick for myself. I do agree totally with you guys when you say it's bad for my CNS and that one should always keep the same level with the same benzo. YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT !!!! It's not healthy what I'm doing but at least I'm taking a loop around getting tolerant and my stuff keeps doing it's job. Otherwise I would go into tolerance withdrawal like most.

[[To...]]

I bet she would be prescribing Oxycodone to Michael Jackson or some football player with lots of money. Well he's dead now but moot point ...

 

For anyone still having prescriptions for both benzos and opioids, please be aware that it was the combination of these drugs that killed not only Michael Jackson, but Philip Seymour Hoffman and Heath Ledger, as well.

 

Here's an article (August 31st) on the recent black-box warning issued for this deadly combo:

 

  New labels warn against mixing opioids, benzodiazepines

 

 

  I wish

[[Ch...]]

 

 

4. Challis99 and other mods you say that when tolerant to one benzo you are tolerant to all. Well not the case for me. I stopped Valium for over a month because I was totally tolerant to it and got back on the equivalent dose of my other benzo and it kicked in hard. After one month switched back to Valium and again the Valium did kick in like the very first time I took it. I get more relief taking one benzo one day and another the other day and they keep their effects and this comes in especially handy for tapering off. Then I would not take a benzo for 2 weeks and I would feel it again after being on another one during those 2 weeks. I take you guys haven't been on many different ones or actually tried out this theory because you look down on me you say it's not possible. Ok no problem !!! I know it's working for me, then don't believe it and don't preach it. I won't anymore either and keep this secret trick for myself. I do agree totally with you guys when you say it's bad for my CNS and that one should always keep the same level with the same benzo. YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT !!!! It's not healthy what I'm doing but at least I'm taking a loop around getting tolerant and my stuff keeps doing it's job. Otherwise I would go into tolerance withdrawal like most.

 

TR, with all due respect, you're not seeing the big picture as far as dosing/changing benzos/stopping/starting benzodiazepines.

 

Those reading might think on and off dosing is a viable way to prevent dependence (it won't), and switching benzos day-to-day is a viable taper method (it's not).

 

Changing benzodiazepines frequently is confusing to the body. I'll stop just short of betting my firstborn child that this is true.

 

Stopping for two weeks and starting again is playing with fire.  I can give you some info about 'kindling'.

 

Working for you?  You're having a really rough time right now. 

 

Advice/support are outside of my administrative duties.  I'm offering advice to you as a fellow, but former, withdrawal sufferer who has been around awhile.  It's okay if you ignore what I write, I need to post it for other people.

 

 

 

[Guest [Ka...]]

TR,

Tolerance I thought was taking the drug and having withdrawal symptoms anyway? If that is what you mean, I had tolerance Acute withdrawal. I was taking my dose and in acute withdrawal at the same time. How I stopped the tolerance was, I increased my dose then I divided my daily dose and took it every 6 - 8 hours. So I took my divided dose three times a day. So say you were taking 6mg a day then divided the remainder into three doses, I used milk with my pills. And I got out of tolerance and was able to taper. When I was tapering I took my cut from the dose and then divided that remainder into three doses.

 

When I switched to the divided doses, I held for a month and felt more stable and then started my taper.

 

 

 

 

[[To...]]

 

 

4. Challis99 and other mods you say that when tolerant to one benzo you are tolerant to all. Well not the case for me. I stopped Valium for over a month because I was totally tolerant to it and got back on the equivalent dose of my other benzo and it kicked in hard. After one month switched back to Valium and again the Valium did kick in like the very first time I took it. I get more relief taking one benzo one day and another the other day and they keep their effects and this comes in especially handy for tapering off. Then I would not take a benzo for 2 weeks and I would feel it again after being on another one during those 2 weeks. I take you guys haven't been on many different ones or actually tried out this theory because you look down on me you say it's not possible. Ok no problem !!! I know it's working for me, then don't believe it and don't preach it. I won't anymore either and keep this secret trick for myself. I do agree totally with you guys when you say it's bad for my CNS and that one should always keep the same level with the same benzo. YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT !!!! It's not healthy what I'm doing but at least I'm taking a loop around getting tolerant and my stuff keeps doing it's job. Otherwise I would go into tolerance withdrawal like most.

 

TR, with all due respect, you're not seeing the big picture as far as dosing/changing benzos/stopping/starting benzodiazepines.

 

Those reading might think on and off dosing is a viable way to prevent dependence (it won't), and switching benzos day-to-day is a viable taper method (it's not).

 

 

Changing benzodiazepines frequently is confusing to the body. I'll stop just short of betting my firstborn child that this is true.

 

Stopping for two weeks and starting again is playing with fire. I can give you some info about kindling.

Working for you?  You're having a really rough time right now.     

 

Advice/support are outside of my administrative duties.  I'm offering advice to you as a fellow, but former, withdrawal sufferer who has been around awhile.  It's okay if you ignore what I write, I need to post it for other people.

 

 

  So you can give me some info about kindling huh ... I thought I was already doing a pretty good job at that but whatever.   

 

 

 

Changing benzodiazepines frequently is confusing to the body. I'll stop just short of betting my firstborn child that this is true.    :'(

 

 

 

I feel confused about almost anything too lately.   

 

I know it's just common sense. I don't really know why I've been messing around with my meds like that but I never took more than 15 or 20 mg equivalent a day, even the days I took a Xanax I left out ALL the other meds. It was my highest concern and priority never to go up with my dose. I thought I was being responsible but I've been thinking while being away from my computer for a while and today I've been a Total mess.   

 

Honestly I think one of the biggest reasons I did it was because I was getting so bored of taking the same benzo over and over day after day. It was so boring, I don't know what to tell you, that's just how I'm build, I need variation in my life, I even started to like the thrill the withdrawals were giving me when the benzo started wearing off ... I wanted a piece of everything. A little bit of this and a little bit of that ...

 

It makes sense what you say, I need to stop doing that. And I will most likely continue my taper rather sooner than later. I just take one benzo during the day and the same for sleep and keep an even and steady flow, my body and mind is getting too confused here.   

 

What's the point of being in a benzo support group and not coming off anyway or following sound advice.   

 

I been kindling myself into a wreck and I believe you guys just want what's best for me ...   

 

So I'll keep it steady at one benzo during the day because I don't want to get too sedated and another for sleep and might taper down with your support.   

 

I'm acting weird lately ... I'm not a fool that can't see his own stupidity.   

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone happy now ? Seriously people need to chill ...    

 

[[Ce...]]

Everyone happy now ? Seriously people need to chill ...   

 

 

Now, where have I read that before??   

[[To...]]

Everyone happy now ? Seriously people need to chill ...   

 

 

Now, where have I read that before??   

 

 

I'm obsessed with that quote CeCe ! I just can't help it ... It's so much fun... at the convenient store earlier on the day I just was thinking about this the whole time ... 

[[To...]]

Those reading might think on and off dosing is a viable way to prevent dependence (it won't), and switching benzos day-to-day is a viable taper method (it's not).

 

 

This one really cracked me up Challis. So funny.... I guess it can get a bit persuasive and convincing.

 

 

I think everyone should go for it and try out the theory ....   

 

 

 

 

Total Relapse Theory     

 

 

You're going to be in for one hell of a relapse ....   

[[Ma...]]

Challis,

 

I just wanted to second what you said regarding stopping and starting benzo's won't reduce tolerance or prevent dependence. I'm proof of it, my old doctor said that as long as I didn't take my PRN Valium daily I'd be right and to have breaks etc. He was wrong, I got dependant and I got tolerant. It took a couple of years cause I wasn't on a huge amount but it did happen. I needed 30mg valium to stop a panic attack before my taper. I'd have that dose and have a withdrawal 3 days later and I didn't even know it was happening. I was experiencing micro kindling cause it worsened over the years and I was acute at times. Anyways.

 

TR,

 

I hope you find your solution, answer and eventually get off benzo's for good mate. This is a good forum to be on for it, you were saying they censor - this whole thread is still here so I'd say they are very fair. Get well mate.

[[To...]]

Challis,

 

I just wanted to second what you said regarding stopping and starting benzo's won't reduce tolerance or prevent dependence. I'm proof of it, my old doctor said that as long as I didn't take my PRN Valium daily I'd be right and to have breaks etc. He was wrong, I got dependant and I got tolerant. It took a couple of years cause I wasn't on a huge amount but it did happen. I needed 30mg valium to stop a panic attack before my taper. I'd have that dose and have a withdrawal 3 days later and I didn't even know it was happening. I was experiencing micro kindling cause it worsened over the years and I was acute at times. Anyways.

 

TR,

 

I hope you find your solution, answer and eventually get off benzo's for good mate. This is a good forum to be on for it, you were saying they censor - this whole thread is still here so I'd say they are very fair. Get well mate.

 

 

Everybody's body and mind and mental state is different and it depends on how long you're stopping the benzo before reinstating and on it's half life worth, shorter or longer working/acting benzo. For me it did work but it wasn't doing wonders. It will work a little bit, there's a huge difference between taking Xanax every day and leaving one day off in between. Of course you will get a little tolerant and dependent but with that day or even week or month in between every now and then it makes it much easier to withdrawal from. Of course after a week or 2 of daily dosing you will become tolerant again ... that's when you need to switch over to another one...     

 

With Valium and Klonopine you will become tolerant even if you only take it 2 times a week, but my theory should work for shorter acting benzo's. It did for me. But I realize now it won't give you too much mental and physical stability switching between different drugs every 2 weeks or so and that there could be health problems. Must be very bad for your body putting in another drug every so often. We're talking about major kindling here ...   

 

Oké the mods are fair but I think a little "Doctor Bashing" should be allowed .... same as for a little bit of kindling... 

[[li...]]

TotalRelapse,

 

That's quite a thread you've going on ...

 

'Fair enough she gave me some prescriptions for another benzo but I am afraid these won't last me too long. I was pretty spaced out when I went visiting her because I had to up dose because of the stress and I could barely explain my situation. Now she's thinking again that I'm messing around with different kind of medications ... It's true that I switch them a lot but I do this because otherwise they get paradoxical on me and I don't feel them anymore or get any relief. So yes it happens that I take this benzo one day and another the other day and I switch them but I never mingle and always make sure I take no more than what I feel is the dose I currently can hold on too which is an equivalent of 15 to 20 mg Diazepam. '

 

Red flags for a doctor. Honestly, I can't blame her.

 

I haven't memorized your thread, but I do know that some benzo's can potentiate each other when you take them on alternating days. For example, diazepam (sticks around in the body) can make clonazepam more sedating, clonazepam can potentiate lorazepam etc.

But it really depends on the benzo.

Something like lorazepam one day, Xanax the other day is less likely to interact IMO.

 

I'm not sure why you got that oxycodone ...

 

Not all benzos are the same. At least, not for most people.

 

Oh, you're not supposed to 'feel' a benzo, it just has to work ...

If you feel them strongly your tolerance must not be high ...

 

A doctor is not a supermarket !

 

Anyway, good luck to you and I suggest you be careful.

 

[[To...]]

TotalRelapse,

 

That's quite a thread you've going on ...

 

'Fair enough she gave me some prescriptions for another benzo but I am afraid these won't last me too long. I was pretty spaced out when I went visiting her because I had to up dose because of the stress and I could barely explain my situation. Now she's thinking again that I'm messing around with different kind of medications ... It's true that I switch them a lot but I do this because otherwise they get paradoxical on me and I don't feel them anymore or get any relief. So yes it happens that I take this benzo one day and another the other day and I switch them but I never mingle and always make sure I take no more than what I feel is the dose I currently can hold on too which is an equivalent of 15 to 20 mg Diazepam. '

 

Red flags for a doctor. Honestly, I can't blame her.

 

I haven't memorized your thread, but I do know that some benzo's can potentiate each other when you take them on alternating days. For example, diazepam (sticks around in the body) can make clonazepam more sedating, clonazepam can potentiate lorazepam etc.

But it really depends on the benzo.

Something like lorazepam one day, Xanax the other day is less likely to interact IMO.

 

I'm not sure why you got that oxycodone ...

 

Not all benzos are the same. At least, not for most people.

 

Oh, you're not supposed to 'feel' a benzo, it just has to work ...

If you feel them strongly your tolerance must not be high ...

 

A doctor is not a supermarket !

 

Anyway, good luck to you and I suggest you be careful.

 

 

Hi Liberty,

 

 

I find your post very well balanced, neutral and fair. What you wrote makes a lot of sense to me and I think it's pretty good judgement of the situation from your part. I didn't get the Oxycodone, it was supposed to be Oxynorm instant and I wanted that for a specific reason which I haven't posted about in here. I had been thinking about doing a rapid taper to get off my benzo's, say about 2 weeks and use the Oxynorm to taper off fast as a crossover drug. I don't want to be on benzo's and I am not a drug seeker. Yes it is true about me getting urges for taking illegal substances sometimes but never went through with it anymore since 1999. So I highly doubt this will happen and especially not when I'm involved in this withdrawal bull shit situation. But yes that was part of the plan to do a crossover to Oxynorm and after 2 weeks go Cold Turkey off the Oxynorm. I would still want to try this to be honest and I think it would work but there wasn't even time to discuss this reason when I only saw her for about 10 minutes and she came in 20 minutes late. Coming off Oxynorm is like a cakewalk compared to coming off benzo's. After posting this thread and all the commotion I didn't have the chance or even thought about bringing this subject up in here. There was just so much commotion about me being a drug seeker ....     

 

 

 

Seriously, I think doctors should just chill and stand more open for valid, sound plans and suggestions.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[He...]]

Healingme I don't understand your post to me. I'm lucky and have a great benzo addiction psychiatrist. Right now I'm having a bit of trouble with a cut that I made that was way too big a few days ago. It was my idea. Not my doctors. I've adjusted it now and given the crap around here I'll be able to better deal with it probably by tomorrow. No need to feel for me. We all have rough patches I guess but to me the only way to get over this is to get off the meds. It's no picnic but it has to be done. If you look at my signature you'll see what my old doctor filled me with and for the last 6 years before I met my new doctor I didn't even SEE my old doctor. He just kept faxing refills over and over. So I'm not a doctor fan but have been thrilled with my new ones. I'm lucky. I'm now down to 11.75 mg of Valium. Depending on what equivalent charts you chose that is roughly anywhere from 140 to 160 mg of Valium. Or just under 1.2 mg Ativan without the Klonopin. I'm pleased with myself. Need support sometimes for sure but I'll get there.

TR I'm hoping you can put the dreadful visit behind you. And, find a new doctor. It sounds like this one blew you off plain and simple. Doctors have no right to do that. They are supposed to help. Not hurt. B

 

Sorry benzobarb I was writing to the OP. Benzo brain plus a raging 'flu. 

[[be...]]

That's ok Healing. I've got my cut, really bad hay fever and now a raging cold that I'm hoping is not the flu. Lol this thread became very weird so I get the brain fog loud and clear. With luck today I'll get something done. Be happy to just do laundry. Argh! B

[[To...]]

Healingme I don't understand your post to me. I'm lucky and have a great benzo addiction psychiatrist. Right now I'm having a bit of trouble with a cut that I made that was way too big a few days ago. It was my idea. Not my doctors. I've adjusted it now and given the crap around here I'll be able to better deal with it probably by tomorrow. No need to feel for me. We all have rough patches I guess but to me the only way to get over this is to get off the meds. It's no picnic but it has to be done. If you look at my signature you'll see what my old doctor filled me with and for the last 6 years before I met my new doctor I didn't even SEE my old doctor. He just kept faxing refills over and over. So I'm not a doctor fan but have been thrilled with my new ones. I'm lucky. I'm now down to 11.75 mg of Valium. Depending on what equivalent charts you chose that is roughly anywhere from 140 to 160 mg of Valium. Or just under 1.2 mg Ativan without the Klonopin. I'm pleased with myself. Need support sometimes for sure but I'll get there.

TR I'm hoping you can put the dreadful visit behind you. And, find a new doctor. It sounds like this one blew you off plain and simple. Doctors have no right to do that. They are supposed to help. Not hurt. B

 

Sorry benzobarb I was writing to the OP. Benzo brain plus a raging 'flu. 

 

 

 

It's always something ....     

[[He...]]

Well I got to participate in a charged discussion on BB for the first time. That was kind of interesting...I mean while it was happening. About the 'flu, the funny thing is, for this short time I was relieved of the nagging feeling that I "should be doing something" which I live with all the time except when I'm at work or in a window. Anyone identify?

[[br...]]

 

I do have a question for you. Are you serious about wanting to feel and be better . What you are doing to yourself right now can only lead to one thing. This can't be what you really want for yourself. You (not I) brought up Michael Jackson. Michael had a wonderful tour coming up , loving family and generally a great life. His tragic death because of a lethal dose of multiple drugs was accidental, but was also in part because he was in denial about the ultimate consequence of his drug usage. Every post from you screams denial. If you are serious about taking back your life you need to first get out of denial ,and then accept that you have a very serious problem. Please get  help.

[[To...]]

Well I got to participate in a charged discussion on BB for the first time. That was kind of interesting...I mean while it was happening. About the 'flu, the funny thing is, for this short time I was relieved of the nagging feeling that I "should be doing something" which I live with all the time except when I'm at work or in a window. Anyone identify?

 

 

I don't know how old you are but I had this a lot when I was in my 20's and 30's. I always had the feeling I had to do something. I don't think this is benzo-withdrawal at all but very common and normal for most people living in society trying to live up to the crazy norms and standards they put on you. I lost this feeling with getting older and finally threw it out the window. You are not here to work, slave or achieve or to walk whatever nonsense road to succes. You are here simply to be human and be yourself. You are here to be. Just be. And just think about it , you are always "doing" something. You don't have to go all crazy every day with trying to achieve goals and succes. This is not how we as a human race were meant to exist and be but these are bull shit rules society put on us and it enslaved most of us if not all. Stress is caused due to society, money, making comparisons with each other is no good. We are all created equal to the image of God. Doesn't even matter if you believe in him or not. He believes in you. You can just rest on your coach or bed with a cup of coffee and tee, watch some television or a movie on Netflix without feeling guilty or ashamed. You are "Healing".