Doctor's appointment from hell !!!!!! HELP !!!!!!!

[[To...]]

Wow ! Nice post Healing me. I actually was on Oxycontin XR and Oxynorm instant. From the Oxycontin I had to take a shitload in one go to feel anything at the end but it lasted for quite some time. What I'm trying to say here is that I Cold Turkey'd both of these drugs and it was a cake walk compared to benzo withdrawal. A walk in the park !!! A breeze it was ... After 2 weeks I started to feel better, first 5 days were hell granted, like all life force and energy got sucked out of me and so tired but I could handle these symptoms because it was simply NOT FEAR RELATED. They were more physical than anything and with a strong mind I could over come them. At week 3 I was almost to my old self believe it or not and this was from a relatively high dosage of using every day. Sometimes I hear people complain about their withdrawals from Oxycontin and opiates in general like they conquered the world. I wish they would know what benzo withdrawal is ...

[[br...]]

My head is reeling from reading all of these posts. My comments are these.

 

Can we get a moderator in on this spinning out of control post. I think we need someone with more experience in on this.

 

A benzo is a benzo is a benzo. They have different half lives and different effects, but switching them does nothing to stop the tolerance that will happen if you go on taking them.

 

Yes I agree too many Dr's do not understand the basics of benzo use and withdrawal and yes sometimes we have to be manipulative to get what we need, but first we have to have  some sort of taper program in mind that we are willing to follow.

 

I cant honestly blame your Dr.  for not giving you the meds you asked for. I don't want to be mean but you are out of line on this one.  It seems that she has tried to help you in the past but you have not shown her that you are willing to work with her on a sensible program. How will more pain killers etc. help with your recovery.

[[To...]]

It doesn't matter Brave Rabbit. I have no problem with the way or direction this thread is going in. 

 

 

 

You should all watch this one documentary. It's what this whole thing and problem is about in a nutshell and well worth watching :

 

 

Prescription Thugs 2015 - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKU36Jm9xaU

 

 

 

 

[[so...]]

Do you actually want to get off benzos? You're playing around with quite a few of  them and wanting pain meds. Any doctor would feel uncomfortable. I'm really not being rude but you're clearly playing with fire and dont seem to want to change, its like you are chasing the high.

[[To...]]

My head is reeling from reading all of these posts. My comments are these.

 

Can we get a moderator in on this spinning out of control post. I think we need someone with more experience in on this.

 

A benzo is a benzo is a benzo. They have different half lives and different effects, but switching them does nothing to stop the tolerance that will happen if you go on taking them.

 

Yes I agree too many Dr's do not understand the basics of benzo use and withdrawal and yes sometimes we have to be manipulative to get what we need, but first we have to have  some sort of taper program in mind that we are willing to follow.

 

I cant honestly blame your Dr.  for not giving you the meds you asked for. I don't want to be mean but you are out of line on this one.  It seems that she has tried to help you in the past but you have not shown her that you are willing to work with her on a sensible program. How will more pain killers etc. help with your recovery.

 

 

Brave Rabbit : I don't want to go too deep into what you're writing here, it's useless but I can guarantee you that this method of switching is working to stop tolerance. Otherwise I wouldn't be doing this bull shit. One benzo is not the other !! How many have you taken ? Different ones ?

 

edit: profanity

[[To...]]

Do you actually want to get off benzos? You're playing around with quite a few of  them and wanting pain meds. Any doctor would feel uncomfortable. I'm really not being rude but you're clearly playing with fire and dont seem to want to change, its like you are chasing the high.

 

Incorrect. I want to hold until Januari because of life circumstances you know nothing about. Don't judge me. There are things in life that are worse than benzo withdrawal and me being on 15 mg of Valium or whatever equivalent won't kill me lol. Some in here are holding on 47 or 70 or 100 and going through withdrawals. Big deal me being on 15 or 20 mg equivalent Valium lol sonia.

[[so...]]

I apologize, didnt mean to judge. You know more about your life than I. Hope you manage to hold until January and succeed in your taper

[[be...]]

So today after many months I finally took control of my situation and left the house to go see my doctor. I've been worrying over it for over a week since I made the appointment and turns out I had a good reason for that. I told her that for now I couldn't do the tortures taper with Valium anymore and that it has turned evil on me giving me paradoxical side effects and guess what ?? No more prescriptions !!!!   

 

Fair enough she gave me some prescriptions for another benzo but I am afraid these won't last me too long. I was pretty spaced out when I went visiting her because I had to up dose because of the stress and I could barely explain my situation. Now she's thinking again that I'm messing around with different kind of medications ... It's true that I switch them a lot but I do this because otherwise they get paradoxical on me and I don't feel them anymore or get any relief. So yes it happens that I take this benzo one day and another the other day and I switch them but I never mingle and always make sure I take no more than what I feel is the dose I currently can hold on too which is an equivalent of 15 to 20 mg Diazepam.

 

Finally I found out the whole appointment was going into the wrong direction with me not being able to explain much and she being 15 minutes too late for our appointment which only gave us another 15 minutes to figure very complicated stuff out. She been driving her kids to school and it was very busy traffic as I noticed driving up there was like playing Pac-man on level 220.

 

After about 5 minutes I just knew it was all turning into shit and I told her that bad months were coming up ahead for me because I'm always severely depressed during the fall and winter and I told her I was about ready again to go score me some XTC like I did last year and if I could get her to prescribe me some Oxycodone to give me some piece of mind and a buffer for doing stupid ... 

 

Let's just say she didn't take it too well ... and she started yelling at me saying NO !!!!! I already prescribed you a 2 boxes in December last year and I told you it was a one time deal !!!!!   

 

Now I have no Valium, no Xanax, no Oxycodone and just a few benzo's due to the fact she wants me to use half of the current dose I'm taking.   

 

So this would turn out in a rapid taper or even Cold Turkey if I take what I need which isn't even that much in the first place !!!

 

Am I good or what ?? This is a true story !!! Nothing fictional ... I still can't believe it. I will eventually be forced into a Cold Turkey.   

 

Guys please give me some advice here. It would be greatly appreciated. Seems like this doctor has turned on me ... 

 

I should have taken Xanax 1 mg before the appointment but I wanted to do it straight with only 5 mg of Clozan.   

 

These people are just not cooperative.   

 

She said I should go do some sport and look into a light box.   

 

When I walked out the door I told her I might do the Valium taper or direct taper anyway and that I just didn't know it anymore, then she smiled at me, like it's a joke I'm being confused due to benzo withdrawal.

 

This was one appointment from hell.   

 

 

Guys please !!!!!!   

 

 

 

 

Say something ....

 

 

You probably could have left out the part that you were ready go score a illegal drug like XTC to deal with your depression.  Couple that with inquiring about narcotics and the inability to communicate effectively and I think you created the perfect storm or yourself. You also told her that the Valium taper was not working and that it caused paradoxical symptoms. She listened to you and stopped it.  It looks like whatever benzodiazepines you have might be all you have to taper from. You don't say the quantity, but  I would use them wisely. Perhaps in the meantime you can look for another doctor to help you continue with your taper.  A slow gradual taper really is the best way to minimize symptoms.

[[He...]]

Wow ! Nice post Healing me. I actually was on Oxycontin XR and Oxynorm instant. From the Oxycontin I had to take a shitload in one go to feel anything at the end but it lasted for quite some time. What I'm trying to say here is that I Cold Turkey'd both of these drugs and it was a cake walk compared to benzo withdrawal. A walk in the park !!! A breeze it was ... After 2 weeks I started to feel better, first 5 days were hell granted, like all life force and energy got sucked out of me and so tired but I could handle these symptoms because it was simply NOT FEAR RELATED. They were more physical than anything and with a strong mind I could over come them. At week 3 I was almost to my old self believe it or not and this was from a relatively high dosage of using every day. Sometimes I hear people complain about their withdrawals from Oxycontin and opiates in general like they conquered the world. I wish they would know what benzo withdrawal is ...

 

I get you TR. Yes I super agree with you on the opiate w/d. Dropped Tramadol on my own, having asked for a non-narcotic pain pill post cervical fusion surgery. Haha! Found out it's a synthetic narcotic. Yes you are spot on with the timing. 5 days of hell, a couple of weeks sick, then done. Another reason why I'm so mad about all the other drugs Rx'd to get people off of opiates. The best drug is heroin, slow taper. And yes, I've also come off alcohol and nothing compares to benzo's.

 

I'm not getting the impression that you are chasing a high here. Why would you be posting? We've all had that fear of being cut off. I posted somewhere here yesterday that I've saved even bits of pills "just in case". Hang in there... HM

[[be...]]

Healingme I don't understand your post to me. I'm lucky and have a great benzo addiction psychiatrist. Right now I'm having a bit of trouble with a cut that I made that was way too big a few days ago. It was my idea. Not my doctors. I've adjusted it now and given the crap around here I'll be able to better deal with it probably by tomorrow. No need to feel for me. We all have rough patches I guess but to me the only way to get over this is to get off the meds. It's no picnic but it has to be done. If you look at my signature you'll see what my old doctor filled me with and for the last 6 years before I met my new doctor I didn't even SEE my old doctor. He just kept faxing refills over and over. So I'm not a doctor fan but have been thrilled with my new ones. I'm lucky. I'm now down to 11.75 mg of Valium. Depending on what equivalent charts you chose that is roughly anywhere from 140 to 160 mg of Valium. Or just under 1.2 mg Ativan without the Klonopin. I'm pleased with myself. Need support sometimes for sure but I'll get there.

TR I'm hoping you can put the dreadful visit behind you. And, find a new doctor. It sounds like this one blew you off plain and simple. Doctors have no right to do that. They are supposed to help. Not hurt. B

[[Be...]]

'I posted somewhere here yesterday that I've saved even bits of pills "just in case". Hang in there...'

 

Ditto.

[[To...]]

So today after many months I finally took control of my situation and left the house to go see my doctor. I've been worrying over it for over a week since I made the appointment and turns out I had a good reason for that. I told her that for now I couldn't do the tortures taper with Valium anymore and that it has turned evil on me giving me paradoxical side effects and guess what ?? No more prescriptions !!!!   

 

Fair enough she gave me some prescriptions for another benzo but I am afraid these won't last me too long. I was pretty spaced out when I went visiting her because I had to up dose because of the stress and I could barely explain my situation. Now she's thinking again that I'm messing around with different kind of medications ... It's true that I switch them a lot but I do this because otherwise they get paradoxical on me and I don't feel them anymore or get any relief. So yes it happens that I take this benzo one day and another the other day and I switch them but I never mingle and always make sure I take no more than what I feel is the dose I currently can hold on too which is an equivalent of 15 to 20 mg Diazepam.

 

Finally I found out the whole appointment was going into the wrong direction with me not being able to explain much and she being 15 minutes too late for our appointment which only gave us another 15 minutes to figure very complicated stuff out. She been driving her kids to school and it was very busy traffic as I noticed driving up there was like playing Pac-man on level 220.

 

After about 5 minutes I just knew it was all turning into shit and I told her that bad months were coming up ahead for me because I'm always severely depressed during the fall and winter and I told her I was about ready again to go score me some XTC like I did last year and if I could get her to prescribe me some Oxycodone to give me some piece of mind and a buffer for doing stupid ... 

 

Let's just say she didn't take it too well ... and she started yelling at me saying NO !!!!! I already prescribed you a 2 boxes in December last year and I told you it was a one time deal !!!!!   

 

Now I have no Valium, no Xanax, no Oxycodone and just a few benzo's due to the fact she wants me to use half of the current dose I'm taking.   

 

So this would turn out in a rapid taper or even Cold Turkey if I take what I need which isn't even that much in the first place !!!

 

Am I good or what ?? This is a true story !!! Nothing fictional ... I still can't believe it. I will eventually be forced into a Cold Turkey.   

 

Guys please give me some advice here. It would be greatly appreciated. Seems like this doctor has turned on me ... 

 

I should have taken Xanax 1 mg before the appointment but I wanted to do it straight with only 5 mg of Clozan.   

 

These people are just not cooperative.   

 

She said I should go do some sport and look into a light box.   

 

When I walked out the door I told her I might do the Valium taper or direct taper anyway and that I just didn't know it anymore, then she smiled at me, like it's a joke I'm being confused due to benzo withdrawal.

 

This was one appointment from hell.   

 

 

Guys please !!!!!!   

 

 

 

 

Say something ....

 

 

You probably could have left out the part that you were ready go score a illegal drug like XTC to deal with your depression.  Couple that with inquiring about narcotics and the inability to communicate effectively and I think you created the perfect storm or yourself. You also told her that the Valium taper was not working and that it caused paradoxical symptoms. She listened to you and stopped it.  It looks like whatever benzodiazepines you have might be all you have to taper from. You don't say the quantity, but  I would use them wisely. Perhaps in the meantime you can look for another doctor to help you continue with your taper.  A slow gradual taper really is the best way to minimize symptoms.

 

 

Yes Benzos-R-Cruel it IS ALL MY FAULT and that is exactly what I have been trying to make clear in my post on a funny note. Because you have to agree that I wrote it in a funny style. Why ? Because I know I messed up big time and me the person I am am not afraid to post this  on here, all the points you made are true. Gigantic mistakes that's why I posted this whole thing. This would never have happened if either I updosed gigantically before I went in or took nothing. But I just took 5 mg more and it turned me into a defenseless fool with no protection and not being able to defend himself or explain anything. But only God knows the truth about this situation and my intentions. This is the first time this has happened to me and I don't get it. What about the other time I asked for both Oxycontin and Oxynorm and she agreed Anyone ?? And she prescribed me shitloads of Xanax ?? But is giving me a hard time about 25 pieces of Valium 5 mg ?? Anyone ? 

[[To...]]

Please all people get delivered and enlightened and go watch this documentary. The first part is a bit slow but then all of a sudden it goes really deep into the core of the problem. THE TRUTH ABOUT PRESCRIPTION DRUGS !!!!

 

 

Prescription Thugs 2015 - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKU36Jm9xaU

[[be...]]

She's obviously blowing you off. Take the hint and get yourself a good doctor. They are hard to find but if you try hard and don't give up you'll get one. Keep on trying. B

[[be...]]

I got tramadol after I broke my hip. First morphine then sent home with tramadol. One of the worst drugs in the world. When I broke my arms zero problems with Percocet or getting off. Tramadol shouldn't be on the market. It's bloody dangerous as hell. Never again! B

[[To...]]

Thank you Benzo Barb. I really do want to get off these drugs otherwise I wouldn't be spending and wasting my time posting in here and talking to you guys. I love you all. You're in the same boat as me. I was off for 3 years and a few months after I made the jump from 1 mg my mom was admitted to the hospital and she died there from cancer. I struggled along for over 3 years before I reinstated. Little did I know that the second taper was going to be so horrific and horrendous. When I tried to go from 4 mg to 3 mg several times I just knew it was lights out. I could do it back then but this is something else. I'm in continues grief and despair, mourning and pain about the loss of my mom. In the morning I lay in bed dreaming about her and in my dream I am crying over her loss, then I wake up and am still crying. My eyes are all wet but I can't tell for sure if I was really crying or just dreaming I was crying ... She was about the only support and friend I had.

[[be...]]

I know TR. You've had a dreadful day. Have a good cry...cleanses the soul. I sometimes squirrel away and sob my eyes out. Almost always I feel much better. I just want you to get well. So do others. You're not alone but put this doctor in a tissue and flush her down the toilet. She upset you terribly which has triggered you into a mess. I would be too. So cry away. Everyone is here for you. Hugs. B

[Guest [Cl...]]

I got tramadol after I broke my hip. First morphine then sent home with tramadol. One of the worst drugs in the world. When I broke my arms zero problems with Percocet or getting off. Tramadol shouldn't be on the market. It's bloody dangerous as hell. Never again! B

 

Actually, the government shouldnt get involved and take anything off the market. People can create drugs out of anything, just random things from pharmacies. You can't ban everything -- that isn't the solution. I am anti-drug but I don't think it's the government's job to regulate drugs. They actually make it worse the more they try. And by banning what they think are bad drugs, they end up banning many much needed medications as well. Banning drugs creates black markets for those drugs which makes the problems worse. If Benzos were banned for example, it would become like the heroin epidemic, maybe worse -- people would be buying them off the streets like crazy. Since they have been deemed a "narcotic", they are in higher demand already and the street value of benzos has risen because they are hard to obtain through doctors.

[[Ch...]]

There have been some good points made here in various posts. 

 

* All benzodiazepines affect the GABA receptors, randomly switching up in order to avoid dependence is not a viable strategy and may be causing all sorts of side effects with the changes in form of benzodiazepine.  These are very potent drugs, personally I would not recommend that anyone jump around from benzo to benzo, especially over a period of days.

 

* Telling a doctor what benzodiazepine (or opiate) to prescribe, especially obscure ones or those in the benzodiazepine analog class, should raise red flags for any doctor.  If you find a doctor who will give you what you ask for in these two classes of drugs, without question he is not a reputable physician.

 

* If indeed one is paradoxical, then it is best to get off as soon as possible, in my opinion.

 

* Looking for and posting about seeking ecstasy is a bad idea, as benzos-R-cruel mentioned, and is counter to the forum's posting guidelines.

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest [Cl...]]

There have been some good points made here in various posts. 

 

* All benzodiazepines affect the GABA receptors, randomly switching up in order to avoid dependence is not a viable strategy and may be causing all sorts of side effects with the changes in form of benzodiazepine.  These are very potent drugs, personally I would not recommend that anyone jump around from benzo to benzo, especially over a period of days.

 

* Telling a doctor what benzodiazepine (or opiate) to prescribe, especially obscure ones or those in the benzodiazepine analog class, should raise red flags for any doctor.  If you find a doctor who will give you what you ask for in these two classes of drugs, without question he is not a reputable physician.

 

* If indeed one is paradoxical, then it is best to get off as soon as possible, in my opinion.

 

* Looking for and posting about seeking ecstasy is a bad idea, as benzos-R-cruel mentioned, and is counter to the forum's posting guidelines.

 

 

Someone was posting about ecstasy? I missed that part. Ha......

[[To...]]

No seriously come on, I just told my doctor I felt the urge of getting some X. If there's one person you should be able to tell that to it would be your doctor, no ? Why can't I be real on this forum ?? It's always something ... I just asked my doc about my feelings of taking some X, does this mean I will go score some ?? I highly doubt it in my situation ... People need to get real in here. There's too much bitching. I'm playing an open game with you guys and being honest and being punished and spit in the face for it, don't give me a slap in my face for it, I hate that shit. I will post again about my problems ... Can't even be real and tell it like it is. It gets pretty useless like this. And counter productive to say the least. Not even worth posting anymore.

[[Ch...]]

 

 

Fair enough she gave me some prescriptions for another benzo but I am afraid these won't last me too long. I was pretty spaced out when I went visiting her because I had to up dose because of the stress and I could barely explain my situation. Now she's thinking again that I'm messing around with different kind of medications ... It's true that I switch them a lot but I do this because otherwise they get paradoxical on me and I don't feel them anymore or get any relief. So yes it happens that I take this benzo one day and another the other day and I switch them but I never mingle and always make sure I take no more than what I feel is the dose I currently can hold on too which is an equivalent of 15 to 20 mg Diazepam.

 

 

 

After about 5 minutes I just knew it was all turning into shit and I told her that bad months were coming up ahead for me because I'm always severely depressed during the fall and winter and I told her I was about ready again to go score me some XTC like I did last year and if I could get her to prescribe me some Oxycodone to give me some piece of mind and a buffer for doing stupid ... 

 

Let's just say she didn't take it too well ... and she started yelling at me saying NO !!!!! I already prescribed you a 2 boxes in December last year and I told you it was a one time deal !!!!!   

 

 

Say something ....

 

Unless XTC is something other than ecstasy...

 

These are red flags any reputable doctor is going read as drug-seeking.  It would be irresponsible on the doctor's part not to be concerned if a patient shows up for an appointment incoherent due to over-medication, then asks for more drugs to boot.

 

 

If one is not ready to taper but plans to begin in the near future, it's best to stabilize on one benzodiazepine, a stable dose, no fluctuations, no updosing/extra doses. 

 

We're limited in how we can help here, but that's the best advice I can give you.

[[Ch...]]

No seriously come on, I just told my doctor I felt the urge of getting some X. If there's one person you should be able to tell that to it would be your doctor, no ? Why can't I be real on this forum ?? It's always something ... I just asked my doc about my feelings of taking some X, does this mean I will go score some ?? I highly doubt it in my situation ... People need to get real in here. There's too much bitching. I'm playing an open game with you guys and being honest and being punished and spit in the face for it, don't give me a slap in my face for it, I hate that shit. I will post again about my problems ... Can't even be real and tell it like it is. It gets pretty useless like this. And counter productive to say the least. Not even worth posting anymore.

 

You can 'be real' and tell it like it is, but you need to expect that people will respond as they see it.  If it doesn't match your view, maybe it would be good to reread and think about other views on this.

[[ti...]]

TR

I think people mean well, just letting you know that you really cant say stuff like that to drs. They are trained to look for certain red flags

Im fortunate enough to have a pain clinic I am getting my percocet from. When the CDC came out with their let everyone suffer guidelines I found that because I have GERD and cannot take NSAIDS that is a red flag as a drug seeker

Its sad but true the DEA which doesnt give a crap about your health has more say in what you can have than your Dr.

I do have to agree to pick your poison and stay there. You can have wd from one while taking another, thats just making it harder for you

And I am sorry to hear about your mom. When my mom died is when I really started depending on the k for sleep. Big mistake. Life is going to give us a lot of crap and once we blow our GABA on benzos we have no way of dealing with it until we recover

Wish i would have known

Hope you can work things out either with that Dr or a new one

[[be...]]

TR...Challis is right. Sometimes just like in emails or texts we say something one way but the person reads it in another way.  But not being able to read body language it's hard to tell if your joking around. But I guess joking around about going to the doctor and acting the way you described didn't seem like a joke. We can't read your body language and for most of us going to the doctor is not a joke. I rely heavily on mine so I try to keep calm with him and if I get a bit odd he listens carefully and hears me out. I'm glad he does. If I went in over medicated TR he'd know right away. I occasionally updose a tiny bit for the car ride but he knows this. He doesn't cut me off my pills. Just says ok tomorrow no more of that. But I'm not acting weird and wouldn't even mention buying X or any street drugs. Huge red flag. Thing of it is so far at least he never lets me down. I do joke with him but never about drugs. They to me are not things you joke about. The hell we are in is just not funny. B