18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Mi...]]

Drew,  I know what you mean.  When I go up our stair case in the house my heart pounds.  And  some days I can run around the lake, idk...  This whole experience is just nuts! 

 

I think many of us probably have adrenaline fatigue from the prolonged stress of all of this! 

 

Sounds like for the most part everything went well though  for the wedding and honeymoon!  Congrats!  And be proud of yourself...  You did amazing.  Shit, I have to take a 3 hour drive the day after Christmas to spend 1 night at my inlaws and am already not doing well about it! 

 

 

[[Aq...]]

Hey all, not doing very well myself either.  Approaching another new year and still not feeling better.  If I look back at last year at this time I was really looking forward to being better by this time of year again.  Not the case.  I am sure many of you can relate.  I was feeling OK the first half of yesterday, butt hen had to go to some friend's house yesterday and had some pretty bad DR and dizziness. Then suddenly it escalated and I felt like I was going to lose it, like completely pass out.  I stood up to go walk around and it got a little better but then we had to go to a restaurant to eat and I nearly lost it again there.  Made it through somehow and then didn't sleep last night.  Anyways, I am walking around like a dizzy zombie today.  Not the best of times right now.  Hoping for some relief for all of us soon! 

[[so...]]

Aqua, Jenn and Drew,

 

I know how you all feel.  The hear palps are going nuts today, along with the inner vibes and head whooshing.

 

Onward, my friends.

 

Love, Sofa

[[Mi...]]

Texas,  How is your mouth pain ect. Going today?  Any relief?  I had to take my own advice last night and do a sx check as my GI stuff flared and I started going down the self destruction path of what if! It's still got a hold of me this morning!  I read something about a hiatal hernia and someone's stomach getting strangled, OMG! Anyways I was thinking of you during this event, as I know we both have a physical sx that stresses us to the breaking point.  Hope your doing well. 

 

Aquaval,  I know exactly what your saying.  Last time this year I got through it by repeating, I will be better by this time next year, over and over and over!  I just don't have the energy to do it this year.  It seems the longer this goes the harder it is to find hope.  And, that's when it gets dark.  When we lose the hope. 

[[...]]

Hi all,

 

Still waving badly, made it to work even though yesterday I thought no way. Thankfully I'm not busy so just taken it steady and doing breathing, listening to uplifting stuff on headphones. My neck is so tight giving me a headache like never before.

 

TM, if it helps i have had tighness in my gums and teeth today, OMG, how is this possible? just goes to show that benzos affect EVERYWHERE!!

 

Funny, I can relate to most things written here. Awful as it is, at least we know we are not alone. The christmas thing i suspect is huge for all of us, especially as we ALL thought this year would be so much better and it's not. This makes it probably worse as we are more worn down and everyone is getting christmas giddy ugh. i'll be glad when it's all over. Also went for a long walk yesterday and felt worse when I got back, like i could pass out, sort of weak. And yes the stairs, I climb them and can't breath and my head pulsates. Used to be running up and down them like a crazy woman. oh yes, I'm still that, in a different way.

 

Blessings

[[Te...]]

Thanks Marj and Jen...for asking.....how I'm doing....seems my mouth and teeth nerves are mess up....so much pressure.....grrrr

So Marj....do your teeth feel like they could fall out....mine do....chewing hard foods sends me through the roof...

Just wish my teeth nerves would calm down....then I would too.. Does that make sense...

Seeing another tooth specialist on the 28th....for thoughts...

Hope you all have your Christmas shopping done......Christmas is coming so fast..

Ok ....so I'm sick of drinking water....what other fluids do you all drink?

I'm trying to cut caffeine....down to 1/2 cup a day....but I can only drink so much water..herbal teas...really havent found one I like...quit drinking Chamielle cause thought it was bad for the GABA

So......idk......suggestions...

TM

[[...]]

TM, my teeth just feel tight. I can chew ok, they just generally feel weird. It's all nerve stuff. General pain is quite bad today and really stiff, more than usual. UGH!!!

 

I drink one cup of tea a day, mostly water and I do drink chamomile tea, I've read others who have healed and drank it. Not listening to anyone who say's it's not good, it's NOT a benzo, I asked Baylissa about it and she said if it didn't ramp up symptoms it should be ok.  I drink 2 -3 cups a day, I also drink sleepy tea, which i love, it has oat flower, lavender and limeflower.

 

Got some wrapping to do, family stuff, kids are done. usually love wrapping, don't right now but will again 

[[dr...]]

TM-I'm pretty bull headed and it took me a while to realize caffeine was affecting me way more than I wanted to admit.  Since I quit it a month ago my symptoms have reduced a lot.  I'm just not ready to handle it yet. Maybe I'll try again in 6-12 months.  Damn I miss great coffee. 

 

Marj-I'm mostly able to have a glass of wine every night w no ill or ramped effects.  I don't have one every night but when I was dry for a few weeks I noticed no difference.

[[Te...]]

Yeah Drew your caffeine thoughts are smart...going to try and reduce more and try and walk away from it in January ......do you drink herbal teas?

 

Gosh......Christmas is coming up fast......need to make it to the store again......grrrrr....to finish up on gifts......

 

Everyone have a great day!

TM

[[Mi...]]

Drew, thanks for the wine info!  I so miss my apple blueberry...  I promised myself nothing during the first 2 years.  But, I am having a very small glass this February! 

I also cut way way back on coffee I have only one small one every morning but you know what I think I am going to cut that out,  Give it a try...  Maybe cutting out the caffeine will help with that darn anxiety!

 

Have A Beautiful Day All...

[[Ko...]]

Drew, did I read you correctly? you can have one glass of wine and it doesn't bother you? I really miss wine and haven't had any for 2&1/2 years. I know Ashton said one glass wouldn't hurt.

 

I quit coffee around the same time as wine. Now use decaf. I don't drink diet Coke anymore because of the high content of caffeine.

 

Happy Hollidays to each if you. Try to enjoy them as best you can. Wishing for the New Year to bring more healing to all of us.

 

Korbe

[[Sk...]]

Drew, did I read you correctly? you can have one glass of wine and it doesn't bother you? I really miss wine and haven't had any for 2&1/2 years. I know Ashton said one glass wouldn't hurt.

 

I quit coffee around the same time as wine. Now use decaf. I don't drink diet Coke anymore because of the high content of caffeine.

 

Happy Hollidays to each if you. Try to enjoy them as best you can. Wishing for the New Year to bring more healing to all of us.

 

Korbe

 

Korbe, how great to see you !

 

It's a classic wd thing, some can handle alcohol soon enough or have never had to give up coffee.

 

Korbe, Happy Holidays to you too. We will do our best to enjoy them, confident that next year will be even better ! 

[[dr...]]

I did drink alcohol  my whole taper but drastically cut down as I started feeling worse and worse on this journey.  I started giving me the feeling of being drunk after one drink.  Now I still feel it a lot more but not like I did a year ago.  As for the caffeine,  I haven't had it for many years until I jumped.  I tried it to help with the migraines.  I don't get the crazy adrenaline rushes or speedy feeling unless I drink a really strong cup or two.  What I have noticed is that it does raise all my symptoms in my brain and it seems to be cumulative.  I just discovered this a month ago.  So now I have decaf or some crappy herbal tea  

 

I woke up today with a "rested" feeling!  very rare.  No anxiety or much to complain about except some minor eye/brain stuff.  I'll take it for the day

[[Si...]]

That's great drew! Glad you're feeling better and had a great wedding and honey moon.

 

I think I'm slowly getting better. I've started sleeping better within the last two weeks.

 

I've avoided caffeine for months, which sucks because I use to love strong coffee. I've also totally skipped alcohol since my setback. That sucks a lot too, but I'd rather feel better and be able to sleep. I still have some s/x, but I do feel better lately. Hopefully I won't get hit again.

[[...]]

Glad your feeling improvement Siggy. Weird how the sleep thing goes on and off. i haven't slept for 2 nights maybe an hour each night when previously my sleep was better. I've never had insomnia in my life before this.

 

I can't believe Drew went and got married whilst still not recovered........ that's amazing.

 

Had no pain yestrerday, some anxiety and general crawl out of my skin stuff and some fear, but generally ok. Today, not much anxiety but pain again, headache and neckache from hell. Had a bit of a walk at lunchtime and it's eased a bit. Does anyone get more relief in the evening, thinking that things are not too bad only to feel rubbish on getting out of bed? Probably asked this before but can't remember the last time I didn't feel like I was just hauling myself around in the morning.

 

Hope everyone is coping with the Christmas malarky. Oh and I don't touch alcohol, would be really scared to. couldn't risk anything making this worse, it's just not worth it. That's just me and I would eat sand if it would make this go away

[[so...]]

Marj,

 

My evenings are always better.  My sleep has worsened.  Now I wake up with cortisol surging at 2am instead of 4-4:30am.  Anxiety is always through the roof.  Wish I could wake up peacefully just one morning.  Has been exactly the same Groundhog Day since I jumped 13.5 months ago.

 

Siggy, so glad you are turning a huge corner.

 

Korbe, TM, Jenn,  I wish all of us Christmas/Holiday healing. 

 

Love, Sofa

 

 

[[Mi...]]

Was in the ER last night another abscess! Had to get it drained, and on Clindamycin again!  Just had this in the beginning of November!  I have never had anything like this before...  Staph infections, abscesses! The sent it out to see if it's MRSA.  Super frightened?  Anyone have anything like this or heard of anyone on here?  I am wondering if it due to our immune systems being not so great from everything we have been through?

[[Sk...]]

Was in the ER last night another abscess! Had to get it drained, and on Clindamycin again!  Just had this in the beginning of November!  I have never had anything like this before...  Staph infections, abscesses! The sent it out to see if it's MRSA.  Super frightened?  Anyone have anything like this or heard of anyone on here?  I am wondering if it due to our immune systems being not so great from everything we have been through?

 

Miss Jen, at 25, almost 26 months out, I am still getting abscesses like there is no tomorrow ! It's crazy. I also get toothaches and my teeth are fine. I get them when I am in a wave.

 

Could be what you say. Or maybe, it's just that our system is still shaken up and doing nutty things.

 

It just gives me the sense of how much damage the drug has done to us, to make our body react this way, after so long.

 

I came here to wish everybody  a Merry Christmas. 

 

You guys see me rarely here, but I follow the thread, I just don't take part as much.

 

I know you are feeling bad, but  next Christmas, will be so much better for us. I am sure of that.

[[...]]

Was in the ER last night another abscess! Had to get it drained, and on Clindamycin again!  Just had this in the beginning of November!  I have never had anything like this before...  Staph infections, abscesses! The sent it out to see if it's MRSA.  Super frightened?  Anyone have anything like this or heard of anyone on here?  I am wondering if it due to our immune systems being not so great from everything we have been through?

 

Miss Jen, at 25, almost 26 months out, I am still getting abscesses like there is no tomorrow ! It's crazy. I also get toothaches and my teeth are fine. I get them when I am in a wave.

 

Could be what you say. Or maybe, it's just that our system is still shaken up and doing nutty things.

 

It just gives me the sense of how much damage the drug has done to us, to make our body react this way, after so long.

 

I came here to wish everybody  a Merry Christmas. 

 

You guys see me rarely here, but I follow the thread, I just don't take part as much.

 

I know you are feeling bad, but  next Christmas, will be so much better for us. I am sure of that.

 

 

 

:smitten: :smitten:

 

 

Merry Christmas Sky

[[dr...]]

Sorry you hit the ER Jen.  I've had weird skin things throughout this ordeal. I believe it is from the suppressed immune system. I had these gross pimply things and some grew to boils after I jumped.  The dr said people w hiv/suppressed immune stuff/drug users get them!  Wtf!!!  I am healthy.    I've also had several warts grow on my arms and back. All of it removed by a dermatologist and relatively harmless but yuck!  Sorry for the tmi.

 

Sofa-my rushes are completely gone unless I exercise.  Think it was around month 17-18.  I don't wake up feeling rested every morning but it's still awesome w no chemical anxiety/fear.  It'll stop/lessen soon for you.

 

Siggy-great news

 

I'm getting symptoms but most things except my eye problems are about 1/2 as bad as a few months ago.

 

Merry xmas all.

 

Merry xmas all.

[[Te...]]

Oh my gosh......Jen.......wtf.........sorry....can't believe this happened again........sounds like there being pro active........the antibotic your on is the only one I would ask for......good choice

Was the abscess near area of the other one?

Ok ...y'all.....I'm in some, type of major wave...all symptoms at high peak along with a few new ones...and the old suffocation breathing thing is ramped bad.....gosh....this misery I hope is signs of healing....so hard to chill out when in chronic pain........grrrrrr

Wish everyone a Merry Christmas....and a bright New Year.....and Thank you everyone for being so supportive.....its helped me to get through each day!.........Again......Thanks!

TM

Sending big Christmas hugs to y'all.........Sofa,Jen,Drew,Marj,Sky,Siggy,Cindy's,and everyone else!

[[...]]

Hope you're okay Jen, this is all you need at Christmas. Weird how this stuff affects us, it's insane and needs to be over 

 

After feeling normal last night and giggling with my daughter, today being Christmas Eve, usually my fave day o the year, I'm a basket case, frustrated and just has a slight meltdown because my brain is still so wonky.

 

TM my breathing is all wrong too, not hyperventilating, yes suffocating ugh. Hugs for you 

 

Not much pain today just the crawl out of your skin stuff ugh

 

Wishing everyone the best christmas possible. I appreciate and admire all of you, you're strength is outstanding 

[[Si...]]

Last night was the first rough night I've had in weeks. No idea what happened as I was feeling great lately. I've been feeling pretty bad today. Hopefully it's just a one off and will feel better tomorrow. I found out my mom used something with msg in some food she made yesterday. I can't say for sure if that messed me up, but I've known it has been a massive trigger before.

 

Hope everyone else has a nice Christmas Eve.

[[so...]]

Drew,

 

Thank you so so much for the reassurance that my relentless cortisol surging will go away some day.  You always say something that gives me hope!

 

Marj,

 

I'm so sorry you are in the withdrawal fun house on your favorite day of the year.  Dang it.  Tomorrow will bring you a window.  My Chinese withdrawal fortune cookie said you're gonna have a great Christmas Day.  And you can't argue with a Chinese withdrawal cookie.

 

Siggy,

 

You've turned a major corner.  One lousy day is NOT going to change that.  You are almost at the finish line.  Trust me.

 

TM,

 

The pain you are enduring is other worldly.  I am so pissed that these drugs have put you through this.  Enough is ENOUGH dammit.  I want you to stop hurting.  I promise you will in early 2016.  Your nerves will settle down and the pain will disappear.  You just got hit hard in the pain center of the brain where you were most vulnerable.  I am holding you close and praying for you.  God, please help TM.  Please take this pain from her.

 

Jenn,

 

Are you kidding me?!!!  WTF?!?!?  You're getting hit pretty hard in the immune system right now, but like Sky and Drew said, they had similar problems, so it's probably withdrawal related.  I know you're going to be okay.  The antibiotic you took in November might not have cleaned up all the infection in the first go-round, but this time the rest of the infection will be eradicated.  You just needed more antibiotics and now you'll kill off the little bit of infection that was left.  The antibiotics will help out your immune system until it gets strong enough to fight off infections on its own.  Your antibiotic is a safe one.  You'll be okay.  You probably won't flare your symptoms, since you were just on the antibiotic a little while ago, so you're just bringing in "reinforcements."  You'll be rid of this crap faster this time.

 

Sky,

 

Always good to see you pop in and say hi.  Hope you enjoy your holidays and heal completely before the year end.

 

Buddies,

 

We are going to make it.  I pray for it every day.  Everybody heals.  EVERYBODY HEALS.  We aren't going to be invited to appear on CNN as the only 7 people who never healed from Benzo withdrawal out of hundreds of thousands who did.  We are just not that special.  Okay, we are suffering.  Okay, we have been suffering way too long.  But it WILL come to an end and we will never have to go through this again.  We are healing every day.  Eventually, there will be nothing else to heal and we will be well.  I'm healing on Jesus' birthday, period.  I already bought my party hat and confetti. 

 

I love you all so much, Sofa

[[no...]]

Was in the ER last night another abscess! Had to get it drained, and on Clindamycin again!  Just had this in the beginning of November!  I have never had anything like this before...  Staph infections, abscesses! The sent it out to see if it's MRSA.  Super frightened?  Anyone have anything like this or heard of anyone on here?  I am wondering if it due to our immune systems being not so great from everything we have been through?

 

Hi Jen  MRSA is actually  Staph  ( Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureas infection), MRSA is an infection caused by a specific strain of staph bacteria that has become resistant to typical antibiotics. I get it in my butt crack ( boils) Boils are also staph infection,  ( staphylococcal bacteria) My began since I went into then unknown to me, tolerance WD. I use turmeric and it heals it every time, no antibiotics needed and they don't work anyway.

 

I used the info from this natural heath site      Staph Infection Remedies http://www.earthclinic.com/cures/staph-infection.html On the page this link opens up you will see. Additional Pages of Interest: Boil Remedies MRSA Remedies a bit futher down the page with links to these subjects, I hope it helps,

 

Tumeric and Colloidal silver I make myself cured mine, and when I was in Hospital they used a dressing impregnated with silver on a patient that had MRSA of the foot, says it all to me. Two home made natural remedies cured what Doctors can't

 

 

 

Love Nova xxx :smitten: