18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Te...]]

Jen.....good to hear from you....glad your temp broke.....just rest....and take good care of yourself...

 

Had extra time on my hand....went backwards some ....from surgery on Monday.......I did too much reading on others threads....bummer...

 

Healing will happen...when it happens...but gosh I thought by know would of seen some improvement...not symptoms getting worse...

 

Sofa...I guess little things can act up are fried nervous system...I feel the Novocaine or surgery made my symptoms rev up more ....but I really had to follw through with this....

 

Hugs! TM

[[St...]]

Hey a question for you all... i'm EXTREMELY sensitised and have been consistently for the last year, there are a few days when evenings are slightly easier but that's about it. My question is this... Is the aim during this whole withdrawal process to do everything we can to calm our damaged nervous systems or are we meant to be exposing the nervous system to things to rebalance it? I hope I'm making some kind of sense. For the last year i've been doing meditation, hot baths and all that and its got me no where, i just wondered if i should keep listening to my body and be doing everything to try and calm it down however restrictive that is or whether i should be taking more of a 'feel the fear and do it anyway' approach. The anxiety i feel is completely chemical i don't have any anxious thoughts per se, my nervous system is just completely fried and it just can't seem to handle even the slightest stimulation.

 

Interested to know your approach! Thanks

[[pa...]]

I'm sure everyone has a different approach, and I feel like I've tried all of them. I took classes in cognitive behavior therapy, practiced meditation, radical acceptance, tried various and sundry supplements, introduced exercise, etc., etc. etc. My take on this is that none of it matters. I think we heal at the rate our body is able to heal irrespective of what we do or don't do. Distraction and putting in the time is the only thing that helps, in my opinion.

[[so...]]

Stuck and PB,

I've tried everything too.  Supplements--bought all kinds, tried one pill, never took again.  Praying and meditating--temporary fixes to get me through the moment.  Pushing through--tried watching TV several times and had to turn it off after 15 min., necessary trips to the grocery store, breathing deeply the whole time in a panic, going to and putting on family celebrations and soccer games that were very difficult to just get through.  Distraction--BB and word games, temporary time passers.

 

I agree with PB.  Time is the only healer.  I've been at this a year with no windows, just some relief in the evenings.  I try desperately to hold onto hope that we all heal.  People on this site continue to drop out as they, one by one, heal eventually.  That will be us one day.

 

Love, Sofa

[[be...]]

Soooo...has everyone healed?

 

Gosh.....friends share you secrets....but if i was feeling better...I'd be christmas shopping...or maybe a movie.....but I'm so happy for everyone.....but feel a little left behind...

 

TM

 

I seriously doubt everyone has healed...but it sure would be nice. As we start healing and feeling better  we try our best to get back into living a " still healing " life. Some of us have been on this site for over two years ...I have...it feels good to be able to go away from here for a while...it is part of the healing process..you will also be stepping away as you heal on.

We are not going anywhere..just stepping back into life a little.

You will heal..nobody gets left behind.

[[dr...]]

I've been on here close to four years.  Ugh!  Nothing heals but time but many of the things mentioned can make it slightly easier

[[Co...]]

Dear 18-30 month Buddies....

    I am doing so much better at month 24....and all of you are going to continue healing too. ...I am consistently at an 85% baseline. I still have sx, but like Mrs, it is only a few that remain and when they appear it is on a mild to moderate intensity. ...I still battle health fear, but to a much lesser degree and the frequency, which used to be daily , is lessening. It may come and go throughout the day ....and on very good days I have none at all. From time to time I still have a little boatyness and/or nausea, but it is very manageable.....That's really about all that's left. ....

    In light of feeling so much better and closing up month 24 I am finding myself on the thread less and less. I see many new faces here....all supporting one another...I wI'll be for the most part leaving the thread. I will continue my Progress journal ( 'Looking Through The Windows....') and I will answer pms as I see them. ...I really want to take a break from.all things w/d as much as possible. My life is returning to me and I want to be truly present as I move forward in re-entry in year 3..  ...I hope to come back  in the future to the 6-12, 12-18 groups later if they are still active , to offer support .

    This is what I know....it's hard , really really hard....and it gets better ....no matter what you do or don't do. All of the tools we learn and use along the way, all of the comforts that we employ to ease our sx DO NOT make it go quicker or end  any sx ...what our tools and comforts do offer is the ability to survive this and keep going. Time truly is , not only the best healer....it is the single healer. Distraction and support are the best tools for getting through. As my friend Nova says, " It is what it is until it isnt"  ..My best advice is to meet each day on its own, do what your mind and body ask you to do on that day. Sometimes it's to push , sometimes it's to stay in bed , or cancel plans or seek support without apology....Despite fears and doubts to the contrary.....you will not be permenently stuck in any one state....it gets better....it just gets better...on its own regardless if you have spent 6 months in bed, or missed work for a year or lost touch with most of your family members. ...none of those things is forever. You will get better....and you will want to get out of bed....you will get better and want to go back to water, you will get better and reconnect with important relationships. Your biggest job in w/d is to get better.....and your life will come back

  I have met wonderful compassionate friends on this thread that started as a 6-12 month group. I could not have made it through without them . I was ready to reinstate at 6 months out. It is only because of the support I found here that I did not. ....Support one another, take turns with the give and take . Hold others up when you can. Share the positives, recognize and celebrate the positives. There were so many days in which I survived on the 'better day'  improvements of my friends here.....Stick together....

      I will post again at some place....Wishing everyone sunbreaks every day ....all the way to ' Healed'........coop

[[pe...]]

Love you forever Coop.

 

Peace2

[[He...]]

Stuck,

I also believe that it is simply time that will get us through this.  I don't believe there is anything special one can do that will hasten the process.  I think each person has to do what is best for them.  For me, that meant living my life as normally as I possibly could.  I fought through many, many days of hell, but I couldn't afford to lose my job.  I powered through many things, often being 100% sure that I was dying.  It was miserable, but I wanted to come out of this as normally as I possibly could.  I don't think that this approach has lengthened, or sped up, my healing.  It's just how I decided to get through it.  There is no right or wrong, in my opinion. 

 

Coop,

BEAUTIFUL post, my friend!!! 

 

[[St...]]

Thanks for your wise words and encouragement. I'm literally a year behind you and you just filled me with so much hope

 

Dear 18-30 month Buddies....

    I am doing so much better at month 24....and all of you are going to continue healing too. ...I am consistently at an 85% baseline. I still have sx, but like Mrs, it is only a few that remain and when they appear it is on a mild to moderate intensity. ...I still battle health fear, but to a much lesser degree and the frequency, which used to be daily , is lessening. It may come and go throughout the day ....and on very good days I have none at all. From time to time I still have a little boatyness and/or nausea, but it is very manageable.....That's really about all that's left. ....

    In light of feeling so much better and closing up month 24 I am finding myself on the thread less and less. I see many new faces here....all supporting one another...I wI'll be for the most part leaving the thread. I will continue my Progress journal ( 'Looking Through The Windows....') and I will answer pms as I see them. ...I really want to take a break from.all things w/d as much as possible. My life is returning to me and I want to be truly present as I move forward in re-entry in year 3..  ...I hope to come back  in the future to the 6-12, 12-18 groups later if they are still active , to offer support .

    This is what I know....it's hard , really really hard....and it gets better ....no matter what you do or don't do. All of the tools we learn and use along the way, all of the comforts that we employ to ease our sx DO NOT make it go quicker or end  any sx ...what our tools and comforts do offer is the ability to survive this and keep going. Time truly is , not only the best healer....it is the single healer. Distraction and support are the best tools for getting through. As my friend Nova says, " It is what it is until it isnt"  ..My best advice is to meet each day on its own, do what your mind and body ask you to do on that day. Sometimes it's to push , sometimes it's to stay in bed , or cancel plans or seek support without apology....Despite fears and doubts to the contrary.....you will not be permenently stuck in any one state....it gets better....it just gets better...on its own regardless if you have spent 6 months in bed, or missed work for a year or lost touch with most of your family members. ...none of those things is forever. You will get better....and you will want to get out of bed....you will get better and want to go back to water, you will get better and reconnect with important relationships. Your biggest job in w/d is to get better.....and your life will come back

  I have met wonderful compassionate friends on this thread that started as a 6-12 month group. I could not have made it through without them . I was ready to reinstate at 6 months out. It is only because of the support I found here that I did not. ....Support one another, take turns with the give and take . Hold others up when you can. Share the positives, recognize and celebrate the positives. There were so many days in which I survived on the 'better day'  improvements of my friends here.....Stick together....

      I will post again at some place....Wishing everyone sunbreaks every day ....all the way to ' Healed'........coop

[[so...]]

Thank you, Coop, for the beautiful "closure" you gave me regarding your journey.  I was feeling lost and left behind these past couple of weeks.  Now I understand and I am so so happy for you.  I also feel very hopeful, after reading your post, that I too will heal in time.  Thank you.

 

Stuck, we both jumped at the same time and we will heal together.  I will stay nearby, whenever you need a friend.  Like Coop said, we will heal completely when it's our time.

 

Love, Sofa

[[so...]]

Thank you HH and Peace. This thread is winding down, as it should. I will miss all of you, but I am so happy for your healing.

 

Love, Sofa

[[sa...]]

Glad you are leaving the darkness Coop. You deserve to get on with your life. I think it's a good sign when you don't need to be here anymore. It shows the level of healing you have is allowing you to live life again.

 

For me; I'm in month 24 also, but not as good. I'm in a 3 week wave of acute nausea, electrocution, and head ringing. This is the worse I've been since month 4. I don't understand, but who knows, maybe this will be the last wave.

 

Best of luck. Hopefully I'll join you in the land of the healed in a few months. Take care.. SAS

[[Aq...]]

Coop,

 

Congrats!  You have helped me and so many here more than you can know.  Enjoy your life!!

 

[[Ko...]]

Hi 18-30 Buddies,

 

Just wanted to report that I am still here in my 24th month. I'm not better, feels worse than I was at 18 months. I've been stuck with the same symptoms for the last 2months. Horrible boatiness, always off balance that makes just walking difficult. Pain in truck area related to huge extended stomach commonly know as Benzo belly. Lower legs and feet that burn or sting so bad that the pain keeps me awake. Feet are numb around the toes. Other odds and end symptoms appear but usually are short lived. I can report that the pain is worse some days, but better the next.  These symptoms are bad enough to limit what I am able to do. I can drive myself to the grocery store & shop. I use the shopping cart to aide in walking.  I am able to walk my talk a short distance to go potty.  Showering is very difficult because I'm so wobbly, so I only shower twice a week.

 

I too have been on this site for 18 months. Lately, I was just getting tired of reporting the same thing and needed a break.  Being discouraged made me less able to help others, as well.  I need to be & think more positive as I wait for healing to happen.  At least my brain is healed and can read, listen, and write and watch TV, so that helps with distraction from the pain.

 

Good to hear from you Coop. Glad your in a good place and continuing to heal. I'll miss your wonderful posts.

 

HH- hope your finished with the late wave and can continue on with your life.

 

To those still suffering, yes time is the only healer and I will try to be a better buddy to you as we

Push through this hell together.

 

Korbe

[[so...]]

Lorne,

 

I'm so sorry you feel stuck.  Me too.  Let's just hold each other up while we heal.

 

Sofa

[[Te...]]

Ok....i guess from my day I'm not leaving this site.....

 

Tell me ....don't get why I'm getting worse....today so bad....hate days like this....wondering if I'm dying..

My muscles are so tight today....all of them....the burning in my mouth ..lips....and throat is so severe....my teeth are tight....my head feels like its going to explode.....face is tight.....why is this happening ....I'm almost two years out.....the pain is getting worse....how can this be ....never had a real window....just ....sad because my coping skills are getting less and less ....nothing is relieving pain....

Maybe the Novocaine....last week wasn't a wise choice....but darn....if I can't do simple medical procedures.....what's left....no meds for pain.....no medical procedures to check health issues...it seems so wrong....I are a cookie today....maybe it's making me sicker today......seriously I didn't even eat the whole thing..

Wondering if my nervous system is beyond fixing....but I can't live like this forever....

Hugs! TM

[[Ko...]]

TM,

 

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much.  I know exactly how you feel. How can we be getting worse when this far out we're supposed to be better.  I don't think it's the novacaine or eating a cookie. It's just that our symptoms are getting worse and there is nothing to do but wait it out. It's so hard cuz we've been doing this for so long.  We're all supposed to get better so I just try to accept and keep hoping I'll wake one day and feel better. 

 

It helps be to read success stories.  Many people were suffering terribly 20 to 24 months out and then suddenly they began to get better. They give me hope that will happen to me too.

 

Hang in there, do what you can to make yourself somewhat comfortable or distract. Take one day at a time. Who know tomorrow may be the day you begin to heal.

 

Korbe

[[...]]

TM

 

I understand how hard it is and Korbe is so right. Distracting is the best tool and I know that is not always easy too. Try to read success stories and positive thing. STAY AWAY from protracted especially when its badder than bad, it just makes it worse as your mind goes haywire and you are too sensitive. 2 years is major healing time even though it doesn't feel like it. It will all go away eventually and I can't wait too.

 

Keep going, you are doing great

[[Te...]]

Thanks Korbe and Marj....it's just a super bad day....I've been trying to distract all day.....but when the pain is so bad....I wonder if it's something else...the pain as been intense....started bad when waking....burning mouth and throat....muscle keep getting tighter and tighter...head tightening started around three.......so....it's just hard to survive days like this......grrrrrr

But it's nice to know you guys are here....was wondering if thread was going to stop....so many wonderful buddies...are seeing healing....which is great to see.....its harder to see buddies in pain...this pain is intense....and so different then normal pain....

Wish you all.....a nice evening.......hoping tomorrow will be better..

Sorry ...wish I had more positive things to say.....

TM

[[so...]]

TM, Korbe and Marj,

 

I'm so glad to see you here! Auto correct above should have been a post to Korbe, not Lorne.  Sorry.

 

Today was a pretty hairy one for me too.  It started it with intrusive thoughts at 4am rushing through my head with a thousand different snapshots and movie clips of my life.  Then came the heart racing and pounding and head whooshing.  Afterwards, something happened that never has before.  I got dizzy and my vision dimmed and I almost passed out.  I've never fainted before in my life!  Wow.  Has this happened to any of you?

 

I'm so sorry you are all suffering alongside me.  I wish I could take all your pain away.  I read BB all day and I agree that it seems 2-3 years is the real healing period.  I don't know how I'm going to last that long.  😱😰🤕🤒😤😡

[[Te...]]

Still feeling not well.....so all I can give is Hugs!

 

TM

[[Ko...]]

TM - I know what you mean that the pain were in is not normal pain and it's very hard to describe. The only thing that gives me a little relief is Advil. I take two liquid filled capsules every 4 hrs when the pain is really bad. For the stinging and burning on my legs and feet I use ice packs or cold water in the tub or shower.  The tight muscles are really hard to deal with. My doctor gave me a muscle relaxer I could take when they really cramped up. Those helped some. I'm going to try to not take those anymore because I don't want them to screw up my healing. Burning mouth & throat have you tried to just chew or suck on ice?  I'm so sorry you're going through this living hell. Hang in there as best you can, you well get better.

 

Sofa - that must have been scary for you to almost pass out. I've not suffered from panic attacks, which I think is what you had, but I know when your heart starts racing you could pass out because

The blood isn't getting to your brain.  Suggest you lie down when that starts to happen and try to go into controlled slow breathing.  Many BB's use a beta blocker that slows the heart I think it's Atenolol. If this is a common occurrence, see your doctor and get a script. It's a common drug used to lower blood pressure and to slow heart rate. In think people just take it as needed.  I know Coop was using it, so maybe you could PM her to get the details. I know you can last as long as this is going to take,

You're going to get better.

 

[[Si...]]

Just dropping in after being off for a while. I had to take break from the forum as it wasn't helping my crushing depression from this junk. I had a decent stretch where I slept every night. Most nights were 4-6 hours and mist nights I fell asleep rather easily. All that came to a crashing halt. Feel like crap now and barely two hours of broken sleep. Just when I think I'm starting to get beyond thus crap, I get knocked back again. I still can't believe 25 pills did this to me.

 

In other news, one of my wife's coworkers has been floxed.

[[so...]]

 

Love and healing prayers to all of you, Sofa