18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Co...]]

Glad you're starting to feel better Nova. Hopefully you'll be back to your baseline (or better) soon.

 

I had terrible time falling asleep last night. Got in bed at my usual 12:30am. Probably didn't fall asleep until 1:30-2. Wide awake at 6:30am. Oh well, at least I slept. Better than nothing.

 

Siggy, I see that your sleep  problems are still haunting you, sorry to hear about that.

 

Hello everybody! Long time, no hear, right ?

 

I am here to celebrate my two year anniversary, it was yesterday.

 

I am not going to lie to you, I expected so much more healing. But that's the thing with expectations, I guess.

 

On top of all this, this month has been one of a wave from hell. A creepy wave that brought back many symptoms from acute and the most  dangerous symptom of all, depression.

 

I had pretty much been able to avoid it, most of my wd, but here it was in all its glory.

 

I failed to recognize it until it was over and by then, a lot of damage had been done.

 

Most of my techniques didn't work against it.

 

I don't know if this Godzilla wave was triggered by my stressors, the neverending move and problems we have been having in these last two months. It's very likely, of course.

 

My Internet isolation didn't help either.

 

What was soothing, was to download entire pages from the thread, and read them after online. This way, I more or less kept up with your stories.

 

And I really must thank you guys. Just seeing your posts, amidst last month's horror, soothed me and reminded me that I was not alone and other people were going through this, just like me.

 

Priceless.

 

From here, reading the thread, my impression is that, we all have different stories and are at different stages. But we all seem to have this in common, we are all having a hard time reacting to stressors and it's what is making us sick.

 

MikeJee- I read about your wave, I have had many symptoms in common with yours. Thanks for your angry rant, I couldn't sympathize more !

 

Nova, happy anniversary to you . Was it as much fun for you as it has been for me ? ;-) We should do this more often, right ?

 

Coop, your anniversary and Green's should be coming up too, I wish you the best.

 

Everybody, I hope to soon be able to be here a lot more. In the meantime, thanks for being there in this never ending process.

 

    Sky.....wow....so nice to see you...CONGRATULATIONS on 2 years.....what a long long journey....

      I have been thinking of you....Glad to know that things are ok. ....you have been through alot in the last 2/3 months.

    How is your new house? .. ..Are the vibrations better? ..How are you having student sessions without internet?

    Love to you dear friend.  ..coop

[[No...]]

Going to try for some more sleep ... have a good evening folks ... 

[[Si...]]

Nova, glad you got some good rest. That always helps. I got about 6-½ hours last night. So can't complain about that. Probably could have slept longer, but don't want to chance having a problem tonight. Had an Amber Alert go off on my iPhone at 2am. Apparently those don't abide by the quit hours setting on the phone. Glad I was able to fall back asleep.

 

Hi coop, glad you're holding steady.

 

Sofa, I had multiple ekg's and all were fine and I would still get jacked up about heart stuff. I think we feel like our heart is beating harder than we think.

 

Serenity, I feel the same way sometimes. Will this bs ever f'n end?

[[so...]]

Thanks Siggy.  You are so reassuring, as always.  I am so glad you got some good sleep.  You sound great and close to the finish line.

 

Love Sofa

[[dr...]]

I slept the whole night through!  12-6:45.  I feel much better so far today after a shitty day of breathing stuff(felt hard to catch breathe) and adrenaline stuff.  Off to watch NZ/Aus rugby match(so I have something to discuss when I go).  Carry on.. 

[[No...]]

Went to the farmer's market this morning ...

 

The butcher had some select cuts of goblin for goblin stew tonight ...

 

The chicken lady had a nice display of chickens and eggs with a prize for anyone who figures out which came first ...

 

The veggie folks had wonderful gnarled and twisted veggies to enhance the goblin stew ...

 

The baker had some nice broom stick twists to dunk in the goblin stew ...

 

Yes, very nice fixins at the market this morning ... 

[[No...]]

Guess I got enough rest ... went down to farmer's market all cheery and happy ... walked out of market and kaboom ... guess there is more to do ... and now time for patience again ... and ... patience is starting to taste like Buckley's cough syrup ... 

 

Tried to sleep some more, turned toxic ... so here I am all grumbly ... 

[[Mi...]]

Happy Halloween Everybody!

 

I know there is a whole section for supplements ect...  But, I wanted to ask you all your opinion!  I was asked by my naturopath to please start taking a few supplements now that I am past the 18 month mark!  21 today! 

Anyways, I started very small doses of B-complex, D, and fish oil!  I was told to also take small dose of magnesium. But didn't find that until today! I took it with the rest of my stuff tonight!  I tolerated everything well except tonight! I cut 500 mg tab of mag in half and I am extremely calm! Like to calm idk!  Is it in my head or?..   

 

Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Like I said I do know there is a whole section on this but I trust you all and wanted your opinions? 

 

Thanks much!

 

 

Nova, soooooo Happy you are doing better!

[[dr...]]

I've been able to tolerate the items you listed except magnesium.  Many people find it calming and I hope it works for you. I just found I got heart palps.  My strongest advice is to start sloooow and add in another supplement each week.  That way if you start reacting you will have a better idea of what it may be.

[[Co...]]

Hi Mike....yep, the magnesium seems to either be calming....or agitating. I tried it too and got palps like Drew. Others have had positive response to it. It comes in different forms, I think the chelated is recommended, but you might want to research that....Really glad it's helping....

....21 months.  ...congrats....we are almost done with this crazy............coop

[[Co...]]

Guess I got enough rest ... went down to farmer's market all cheery and happy ... walked out of market and kaboom ... guess there is more to do ... and now time for patience again ... and ... patience is starting to taste like Buckley's cough syrup ... 

 

Tried to sleep some more, turned toxic ... so here I am all grumbly ... 

 

.....Nova.. .I am getting mornings like that again too....get up happy, clear, feeling normal. .. take the dog out ..smile at the dog for awhile....plan a nice day.....and all of a sudden the boaty d/r, fatigue and benzo flu settle in for a few hours. ...Didn't we do that ' turn on a dime' shift in months 13/14 or something..

      Well, it was great to see that you you were clanging around in your kithen with some bounce for awhile....more good is on its way....as always.

            coop

[[No...]]

Jen ... regarding supplements ...

 

Some folks have good results, some folks don't ... some folks find the results are only temporary ...

 

I suppose my question would be "why" are these supplements being suggested ...

 

And ... as Drew suggested, I would only take them one at a time, slowly ... until I knew how I would respond to each one ...

 

There probably is no right or wrong answer ... each of us can only see how we respond to things, and we can remember that this response is likely to change over time ...

[[ci...]]

hey guys, I am just so afraid right now, I am 19 months CT and thought at 14 months I was so close to writing a success story, I was able to even go back to work. Well now since month 16 the nerve pain and intense body burning has intensified again, the last week, it is like acute phase, burning from head to toe, head squeezing, no sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore, I have read stories of BBs burning at 4-5 years out, I just know I can't do it anymore. I am losing it....

[[No...]]

Cindys ... I am sorry to hear you are so tangled up in this stuff right now ... it must feel dreadful ... and feel very discouraging ...

 

And, you are not losing it ... it just feels that way ... and this stuff often feels like we have been thrown back into acute again ...

 

The only way I have found to get through times like this is to find whatever may soothe me for a while ... and to keep telling myself this one will pass just like all the others ...

 

And when things are churning relentlessly and incessantly it is very hard to keep any focus other than what is happening in the moment ...

 

You will get through this ... perhaps all we can do during these storms is to keep things slow and let the time pass ...

 

You have the stamina for this ... you are strong enough to get through this time ... 

[[No...]]

Encouraging thoughts ...

 

From PJ's thread ...

 

May the sun bring you

new energy by day.

May the moon softly restore

you by night.

May the rain wash away your

worries and sorrows.

May the breeze blow new

strength into your being.

May you walk gently

through the world and

know it's beauty

all the days of your life.

 

And ... from Jeanne Achtenberg ...

 

Everything heals somebody ...

Nothing heals everyone ...

No treatment works forever ...

[[Te...]]

Cindy's........so sorry your struggling.....you did you a great window....so keep saying this is just a bad wave before recovery.....I too....know of buddies five,six,years out and more that just haven't seen much improvement....knowing this helps feed to my anxiety.....but I pray I'll have a window soon...

Has your joint pain gotten better?

I know I'm going to once again...work on a stricker diet....hoping that will help some...

I'm sending you healing hugs.......

Your never alone ....Fighting this......stay strong...

TM

 

[[Mi...]]

Nova My naturopath looks at this healing process as a 3-5 year plan, I guess! This is what I was told!  With the first 18 months mountains and valleys! (Like what we call windows and waves)  And in this first 18 months he says you just have to stay the course with your number one job of just breathing that's literally all you gotta do for your body to stay course through the  Going into your next 18 months your body needs the nourishment and even eating clean it's really hard our earths soil ect.... Just doesn't have what it used to!  And our entire body has been on serious over drive for far to long! He figures by two years we mostly will be 50-75%! Three years 85% with fine tuning for a little while longer!

 

Now Ofcourse that's not everyone! And he is surely not God!  This is his opinion and his opinion on people who have had a extremely bad reaction to tap peering like myself! But he has been my life line and has not once steered me wrong through this! 

 

So I am trying it slowly! 

[[Si...]]

Hi everyone, not feeling great today. Yesterday was a decent day. Didn't think I'd sleep last night, but I did fall asleep easily. Went to bed at 12:40am. Woke up around 3:30 having to pee. Got back in bed and never really fully went back to sleep. Maybe microsleep. Happy birthday to me. Oh well, having waffles for breakfast.

 

Sofa, supplements help some and rev some people. Magnesium does calm me down some, but give me other s/x that I can't handle. Taken orally it makes my skin really hot. I do occasionally do an Epsom salt bath. Which your body will absorb some of the magnesium. It can be easier in the stomach that way and helps relax your muscles. I don't get hot skin that way, but it does make my muscles twitch. Just give it a try.

[[dr...]]

Happy birthday Siggy !

[[so...]]

Happy birthday, Siggy.  I hope today is is a rebirth for you!

[[so...]]

Buddies,

 

Today I am hit with crushing depression.  I'm afraid I'll never heal.  Do some people not heal?

[[so...]]

Last night I went out to dinner, then trick or treating with the grandkids.  It was awful, as I felt so sick and out of it.  I came home and the hope was kicked out of me like a punch to the stomach.  I've just given up.

 

I'm so sorry for the bummer post everyone.  I can't live the rest of my life this way.

[[dr...]]

Okay...buddies...no denying this sucks but we all know every wave ends and lessens in intensity. At these worst times make a list of everything that has improved.  Then distract as best you can. 

[[so...]]

Thanks Drew.  Will do.

[[Co...]]

Yep....Distraction, Distraction, Distraction.  Healing happens no matter what we do or don't do....except of course reinstating.  I am only one person, but distraction and ' going with it' .  like swimming with the rip tide instead of against it, . honoring what my body needed ( that took some practice in the ' going with it' ), ....and receiving and giving support on buddies.  Those were what got me through to 24 months ( Nov 3) and a consistent 85%, which btw I am thrilled with.

    As Nova says, " it is what it is until it isnt".....as Green said so long ago, " nobody gets left behind"..  and nobody does, but when your wave lifts.  Extend your positive to those who are just keeping thier chins out of the ocean.

    The thing that was so helpful to me with the original 6-12 , 12-24 and now 24-30 group was that we all seemed to take turns sinking and swimming. .....those that were doing better encouraged those who were still mired.....and then visa versa....Also the sharing of articles, information, professionalconsults ( as appropriate), humor ( humor is so huge in this), experirnces, wisdom ( thank you Nova, for being our resident guru), even recipes ( Beulah, Nova and Drew kept me fed over the summer. ..although I have to say I never came close to thier gourmet tables)...  While we come here for support and sharing the hard trek of healing....it had to be about the good days as well as the bad. I personally found humor so uplifting on tough days. 

    Wishing everyone some sunbreaks..  nurture yourselves and and remember that time really is the only reliable healer

          coop