Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[gi...]]

John,

 

I'm sure most if not all of it has to do with the trip.  That alone is reason enough for me to be even more upset. That I can get this "sick" simply by doing something stressful -- and my anxiety is already over the top about that flight  and I'm not even there yet!  I'm actually on the couch right now, I'm so sick. Today is the second day in a row I've lost to PWS!!  After all these YEARS!!! 

 

I have to pack. I have to clean, make notes for the sitter, make several meals between now and tomorrow afternoon. Then I have to drive. I have to get on 2 flights.I have to deal with that second flight.  I have to get from the airport to the hotel. All by myself.

 

And I'm so damn sick already.

 

:(

 

Please send some vibes up to your Personal Other and ask him/her/it to look out for me tomorrow!!

 

g

[[ro...]]

Howdy to all post benzo peeps!!

 

How are you all doing?  Ginger, Jazzycat, Libby, Pan, Unr3al, Clementine, IBMom, Vertigo, Pange??

 

Clem; first thank you for your explanation from your visit.  I agree that the human body has so many neural pathways that once broken, other pathways are being pushed to heal for the body's homeostasis again.  (body and systems balance)

 

IBMom; sorry to hear you are having a bit of a slump too.  I hope you will pull out of it soon and start to feel better.  Let's hope that this is the worst before the very better, and we remain "better."  I know some post taperers get worse WD sxs and then go on to recover without any further setbacks. 

 

Ginger; you recognize the stress of traveling on your CNS.  I hope your trip will be fun and easy, and your CNS will settle down quickly.  I tried to plan 2 short overnite driving trips in August and had to cancel both of them.  The nite before the trip, I couldn't sleep at all and had worse WD sxs the following day.  I know this is one bigtime BUMMER!  It's like our CNS is yelling at us not to go.  We tend to think we have healed completely because of the windows days before the trip.  WTH???  Please keep us posted on how your trip goes.  I'll pray that you pull out of this and get to enjoy all of your scheduled trip. 

 

I am in a 7 day window right now and hopefully, pulling out of this latest slump period.  Sleep is a series of naps during the nite but I'll take whatever sleep I can get.  Jaw pain off and on, but very manageable.  Nite heatups have slowed down and detensified (is this a word?). 

 

Who is enjoying the cooler weather?  Me too!!!! :yippee:

 

Pushing on to our one year anniversaries!!

GBYB,

Rocko

[[ve...]]

Hi Rocko and post benzo peeps .  Hope that window stays open for a while as you approach 6 months off the benzo beast.  I hope your sleep continues to improve as well.

 

Ginger.  I don't know if you've left for your trip yet but I'll definitely be sending some positive vibes your way.  Like Rocko said, hope you will get to enjoy the trip and get some sleep on the plane if you can.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[Li...]]

Ginger, I'm hoping your trip goes well! Vertigo, I was so happy to read on Leena's Log that your dad is doing okay right now. Rocko, overall I am doing okay. I have been sleeping better for the most part and the night sweats seem to have abated for the time being, but I am still rather fatigued. I am sure this thread will be a good place for me to hang out and air my improvements and frustrations for the times when a brand new thread doesn't need to be started, but a little support or a listening ear would be helpful. 

 

Libby

[[ve...]]

Ginger, I'm hoping your trip goes well! Vertigo, I was so happy to read on Leena's Log that your dad is doing okay right now. Rocko, overall I am doing okay. I have been sleeping better for the most part and the night sweats seem to have abated for the time being, but I am still rather fatigued. I am sure this thread will be a good place for me to hang out and air my improvements and frustrations for the times when a brand new thread doesn't need to be started, but a little support or a listening ear would be helpful. 

Libby

 

Thanks Libby. Good to hear you have been sleeping better.  Looking forward to hearing updates from you in the coming weeks.  It's nice to not have to start a new thread always.  There seem to be so many new members and new threads started that they disappear pretty fast to the later pages.  If a core group of post benzo pepes update a note every couple days, the "benzo survivors" should be able to keep things going at least for a while.  I will only be around another couple months and then will be stepping away.  Like L123 and some others who posted a "success story", I've wanted to put some time in for my fellow buddies this past year, but it will be my time to step away at 24 months which will be November 11th.  It's shaping up to be a nice Thanksgiving.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[jj...]]

Am about 5.5 months off...had a huge window sx free..then felt flu like....then today, I volunteered...picked up my son, went got him fitted for a tux for my wedding, went to walmart, went to stepdaughters soccer game, and realized...wow, I feel normal....   I hope this is nearing the end and though you maybe feeling bad, one day I know you will look up and know nothing is wrong...I didn't believe it, refused to believe it would happen to me...not healed yet,,,,..but real, real close

[[mt...]]

HI Vertigo and fellow "post" BB's,

I am closing in on my 8th month of being free.  I must say I feel better and better.  I have much more energy and do not fatigue as quickly.  I have a much more positive outlook and am only in bed for bedtime!  Now that is somewhat of a miracle.  I decided to have a comprehensive blood analysis done to see how I came through my w/d and all the results were good.  My fasting blood sugar was a tad bit over normal so I will continue to avoid sugar and white flour/potatoes etc.  I am "trying" to follow Dr. Fuhrmans Eat to Live Program which focuses on eating a plant based diet.  I do have some eggs and chicken etc but the majority if my diet is vegetables-particularly green veggies.  I feel and look much more healthy but it is ALOT of work with all the washing and preparing vegetables.  I see now why we eat grains and meat...throwing a slice of turkey on some whole wheat bread with some lettuce and tomato is alot easier  than washing and chopping up a big salad!

 

I just booked a trip to Florida to see my 84 yr old mama and brother in a couple of weeks.  My 11 year old grandson is on a school break so he is going to go with me and I am looking forward to spending some time with him and my brothers kids.  My brother has a home on the beach and I used to visualize walking and swimming at this beach on many many nights when I was suffering.  It brought me peace and inspiration to keep on going so that I could be there one day.  I promised myself that when this ordeal was over I would go for a visit as soon as I felt well enough. To actually be going there in person, healed- is fulfilling a dream of sorts.  Initially I was a bit anxious over flying but even that has passed!

 

My only lingering s/x are some extremely mild tinnitus which comes on about midnight and some early morning groggy funkiness.  No adrenaline or anxiety I just wake up feeling a wave of funkiness but it is gone within a minute or two.  That's about it.  Thank goodness!  Hopfully I will continue on this path with little set backs.  I know I am in the final stretch and can take whatever comes at this point.

 

I send my blessings to all for a speedy recovery.  I think of you each night as I drift off to sleep and pray you are well and healing quickly!

Happy Fall to all!

Mimi

[[An...]]

Am nearly 5 months off.  Window recently for 5 days where felt good and normal followed by a day of sinusey headache and feeling off-colour, followed by a good day (yesterday). 

 

Today have a splitting headache, and sinusey again.  This may be unrelated to benzo w/ds

 

Am happy with progress I have made so far and just waiting for the current symptoms to leave me.  These are:

 

* Gulping anxiety on waking - it goes after a few minutes of getting up but am aware of it during day if I focus

 

* Pins and needles in hands a few times daily - not painful, just annoying

 

* Constant shortness of breath (my most annoying symptom)

 

* Intermittent earache in right ear - have had this all along and have had it checked by doc - all normal

 

Angel

 

[[ve...]]

Good to see so many post benzo pepes who are making good progress between 5 and 8 months off.  Those were the months where I found that I was going to heal, allbeit, slower than I had thought.  Even though I had a setback at 9 months, I knew it would be temporary and that healing was ongoing.  I didn't have headaches, but I did have a few sinus and ear problems, allergies, reflux and lots of anxiety, Angel.  Travel was a good test of dealing with stress.  Jet lag was a struggle at times but each trip was a pretty good gauge of how far along I was in the process.  I think you will be glad you made the trip to Florida, Mimi.  The mundane travel itself did not bother me as much as some of the dysfunctional family communications or gatherings.  However, a few books have really helped with improving coping skills.  One book that has been helpful is "Toxic Criticism" by Eric Maisel.

 

Great weekend everyone,

 

Vertigo

[[...]]

Hi Vertigo `~hope you are doing great.  today is day 2 of entering into month 4 benzo free.  i made a list of my sx for the first time last night.  there are about 35 things on there and about 5 or 6 of them are not so much now.  i put on a pretty desperate thread about the dr and dp yesterday .  it scares me so darn much; i hope that lessens.  it has helped me to hear that others had a tough month 3; mine was horrendous but i have a job that really puts my cns over the top.

my challenge also seems to be believing in healing.  i have so many reference points for being in depression and not healing that my lack of faith is disturbing to me. 

i so appreciate when u stop by my blog and keep telling me i really can do this.  i feel so far from well...thanks buddy

[[An...]]

Pan I think it's pretty normal to feel that way at your stage. Wish you well soon.

 

Vertigo: thanks for telling me you had the anxiety (albeit less and mainly in the mornings) at my stage of 5 months.

 

Jj: would like to know how you are getting on as we seemed parallel.  Unfortunately I am still not feeling as great as I did in that 5 day window.  The most bothersome sx apart from the breathing problem is the morning anxiety and jitters and I have been feeling a bit crappy and fatigued again lately with nice windows in the evening. Are you still feeling as good?  I hope so.

 

I don't have a blog so am using this great thread.

 

Angel

[[ro...]]

Hello to all post benzo beeps:

 

This is a good place to post our recovery tips and progress for others' to benefit. 

 

Mimi:  Good to hear you are doing so well and plan on taking a trip to see loved ones.  You have been through the old benzo grind mill and now you are reaping rewards.  Please hang around for awhile. 

 

How's the rest of the benzo beeps doing?  I am now 5.5 months off and if I could get to sleep and stay asleep, I'd say I was almost home.  Flu like sxs have diminished, heatups are almost abated, and haven't had jaw pain or intrusive thoughts in awhile.  Still some crummy sleep nites once in awhile (1x per week). 

 

Anxious to hear how everyone's doing.  We're in this together and we will come out the other side with success stories and one year anniversaries to celebrate.

 

Regards,

Rocko

 

[[Sa...]]

Hello everyone!

 

First off, what an amazing thread! It's very informative and I have gained a lot from reading where everybody is at.

 

I myself am approaching 4 months of benzo freedom.  I just had a span of about 5 days where i felt healing was really taking place and had much relief from it. In general, my sxs have been slowly decreasing but i am still having a bumpy journey.  I'm hoping vertigo's right that phase 2 is 5 - 9 months because I'm desperate to feel good again!

 

In addition, I'm curious if anyone has noticed "somewhat" of a pattern for how long waves last and how long windows last between the healing state of 5 - 9 months.  It seems like right now i get a day window here and there but I'm mostly in a wave :'(.  Some insight on this would help (i know healing is different for everybody but i would simply like to know everyone's experience with this)

 

Best of luck to all

Sam

[[ve...]]

Hi everybody.  Sorry I've been away for a while.  A few home improvement projects been keeping me busy.  It's been a while since I've read the whole thread.  I do recall posting something about phases or stages in benzo recovery, Sam.  I don't know if everybody goes through them.  I personally had an acute phase for about 4 months where many symptoms were rampant.  Keep in mind that I also got Shingles about six weeks after my taper ended.  I believe this made things considerably worse for me in terms of what my CNS was going through already.  I also seemed to be pretty sensitive to the valium, based on how I got vertigo after the c/t of only 6mg for a three week holiday in 2008.  So I can only speak to my own experience.  I had what I consider to be a significant improvement in symptoms in months 5 and 6 and started to really feel "myself" in months 7 and 8.  I was traveling and enjoying my summer in 2010 at 7 months off.  However, I overdid a few things that summer (too many sweets, junk food, sodas with caffeine, coffee and yes, some wine).  So I ended up with a setback at 9 months off. My blood pressure got high along with some other things which I probably posted on this thread back in August 2010.  In some ways I think it may not be so uncommon for people who start to get out socializing more and perhaps re introduce some foods or beverages in their lifestyle and have a setback of some kind, even if a small one.  In any case, I did begin to mend again in months 10-12.  At a year off, I was close to 90% on most days. I still had some fatigue and occasional blues along with some anxiety which seemed to increase with the advent of an exercise program I embarked on in the Fall 2010.  I lost about 30 lbs a little too rapidly and that resulted in a little bit of an anxiety spike.  A year later, I have gained back about 15lbs and would like to lose about 5lbs between now and end of the year.  We'll see how it goes.  Best of luck to you Sam.  I hope you will find much healing in the coming months.

 

Vertigo

[[gi...]]

Hi All -

 

A little update on my condition from last my last post --

 

I'm doing much better. Most of my symptom spike was definitely caused by my impending travels.  My back continued/continues to pound and of course my eye, mouth and tinnitus continue to plague me, but by all accounts I'm back to "normal"... my new normal post-klonopin, that is!

 

Be well, all --

 

ginger

[[Sa...]]

Thanks Vertigo

 

I'm happy for you that you're feeling better these days!  I suppose I'm close to feeling better again but this "acute phase" has been a very bumpy ride the last 4 months.  I'm glad this forum has knowledgeable people like you willing to lend support to others. Totally awesome .

 

[[Li...]]

Hi all-

 

I'm about 4.5 months off and have been in a wave for the last several weeks, with some good windows here and there but mostly a wave. There are other things that could be causing me to not feel well, but it could also just be the ebb and flow of withdrawal. What a ride.

 

Libby

[[ve...]]

Hi All -

 

A little update on my condition from last my last post --

I'm doing much better. Most of my symptom spike was definitely caused by my impending travels.  My back continued/continues to pound and of course my eye, mouth and tinnitus continue to plague me, but by all accounts I'm back to "normal"... my new normal post-klonopin, that is!

Be well, all --

ginger

 

Hey G.  Glad your system has settled down some.  Hope your trip goes well.  Who needs "normal"?  It's over rated!  Hope those stubborn symptoms continue to wane.

 

V

[[ve...]]

Hi all- I'm about 4.5 months off and have been in a wave for the last several weeks, with some good windows here and there but mostly a wave. There are other things that could be causing me to not feel well, but it could also just be the ebb and flow of withdrawal. What a ride.

Libby

 

Hi Libby. Glad you have had some windows recently, but sorry to hear you've had a wave for a couple weeks.  No doubt there is an ebb and flow in withdrawal and recovery, particularly when out of the ordinary stress is on the rise.  While the timeline may not be the same for all, many do feel many improvements by about six months. 

 

Hang in there,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Thanks Vertigo

I'm happy for you that you're feeling better these days!  I suppose I'm close to feeling better again but this "acute phase" has been a very bumpy ride the last 4 months.  I'm glad this forum has knowledgeable people like you willing to lend support to others. Totally awesome .

 

Thanks Sam.  Glad you're finding the thread to be helpful.  As many have posted before you, it's quite common to feel better for a while, then maybe a few days or even a week of some stubborn resurgence of symptoms, then maybe back to where you were or even a little further along, then another temporary glitch followed by who knows what.  The uncertainty is what seems to get to many of us, the not knowing how one is going to feel or whether one really will "get back to normal".  I don't like that phrase because I think "normal" is not a constant state or universally defined.  Paradoxically, "normal" may actually be a state of constant dynamic change.  We're constantly growing, regressing and evolving.  Hopefully we'll come out of this a little wiser and changed for the better.

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Thanks Vertigo

I'm happy for you that you're feeling better these days!  I suppose I'm close to feeling better again but this "acute phase" has been a very bumpy ride the last 4 months.  I'm glad this forum has knowledgeable people like you willing to lend support to others. Totally awesome .

 

Thanks Sam. This is a modification of the previous post.  I meant to say that it's quite common to feel better for a while, then even a week or more of some stubborn resurgence of symptoms... The uncertainty is what seems to get to many of us, the not knowing how one is going to feel or whether one really will "get back to normal".  I don't like that phrase because I think "normal" is not a constant state or universally defined.  Paradoxically, "normal" may actually be a state of constant dynamic change.  We're constantly growing, regressing and evolving.  We don't evolve in a linear fashion from "sick to well" or "bad" to "good".  Mistakes and setbacks seem to be a part of life and in benzo recovery.  Hopefully we'll come out of this a little wiser and changed for the better . 

 

Vertigo

[[Ho...]]

Hi Vertigo- just stopping by to say hello.  Haven't been around too much, been advised to stay away from the forums by a therapist I am seeing, but I do check in once in a while.  Hope you are doing well, sounds like you are.  I am now almost 13 months benzo free - quite an accomplishment for me, who just a month or so ago was at the bottom of the pit.  Still suffering w/d but having more and more windows and just keep hoping to move forward and heal....thanks so much for all your kindness and "sensible" talking to me - it helped alot.  Still haven't read the book you recommended by Yalom, but have read the Jon Kabat Zinn book in bits and pieces and have done some meditating.  Still not really able to focus enough for reading.  Thanks again!!!!

Love Hoping

[[Mi...]]

Hi Verti!

 

I logged off before I saw your shout.  How have you been doing?  I was thinking of you yesterday.

 

Yes, there are 2 potter movies we've not yet seen.  Our little video rental place closed down so I'm hoping at least one of them will be on TV soon.

 

I really need to get by this thread more often to see how some of my buddies are doing.  This place keeps me hopping and I don't get around to the threads I'd like to.

 

I'll check back later today when I return from "the city".

[[ro...]]

Hi post peeps:

 

I am on my way out to an appt. with a new counselor.  Hopefully, another "A" team member to help hubby and me navigate through the post benzo waters. 

 

The last four days, the benzo waters have been pretty stormy.  I haven't been able to sleep more than 3 hrs. the last three nites and I am feeling quite frazzled.  Also, I had waves of anxiety last nite and this a.m.  The anxiety has rarely been this bad since March, when I stupidly got the 'DPT' shot which threw my whole system into crazy WD sxs. 

 

Hoping for better days and sending cyber support to all post benzo beeps.  :smitten:

 

Rocko

[[Su...]]

Hi post peeps:

 

I am on my way out to an appt. with a new counselor.  Hopefully, another "A" team member to help hubby and me navigate through the post benzo waters. 

 

The last four days, the benzo waters have been pretty stormy.  I haven't been able to sleep more than 3 hrs. the last three nites and I am feeling quite frazzled.  Also, I had waves of anxiety last nite and this a.m.  The anxiety has rarely been this bad since March, when I stupidly got the 'DPT' shot which threw my whole system into crazy WD sxs.   

 

Hoping for better days and sending cyber support to all post benzo beeps.  :smitten:

 

Rocko

 

May I ask what the "DPT shot" is?