Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ve...]]

Thank you all for your comments about my exercising...I am increasing my protein intake and will get some shakes like Ginger suggested..that is a good idea....I do not want to stop exercising as I feel my body getting stronger and more flexible and I like it...however, it is really making my symptoms worse, so I'm thinking of toning it down a bit...maybe less weight/more reps...and not doing  days in a row, maybe 3 on then 1 off...I will tweak it as I go.

 

It's generally a good idea to give a day of rest between anaerobic workouts with weights.  So that means about three times a week on the weights, but you can do walks and biking more frequently. Also, I think Matrix found that less weight with more reps was better for him in the first year off.   Follow your own gut and you will be back on track soon Sunny .

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Good Morning Verti,  Today is 16 weeks benz free and I when I step back and take a look at the big picture I am fortunate.  I am able to travel, work and socialize with family and friends.  I still find that I don’t handle stress well, but I am hoping this will come with time.  I can remember the day when things didn’t bother me and I enjoyed the challenge. Not the case anymore. I am able to enjoy my morning cup of coffee without it revving up the system, but I still cannot drink any alcohol without paying the price. I have tried an occasional glass of wine and/or mix drink, but never feel well after the fact. Guess it is still too soon.  I have unfortunately gained back some of the weight I loss during the taper :'( and I need to work on eating a little healthier and exercise.  I find that I tire quickly when I try to exercise, so I have backed off for the time being (or maybe I am just being lazy)…

I don’t post to the forum as much as I would like since it seems to cause me to feel over-sensitive, I find it hard to concentrate and to put the words down on paper. I am sure this is just another s/x and in time will pass.

So you are planning another trip with the family, I just love Disney.  It is truly an amazing place. I just can’t image having that type of vision to create such a place.  My favorite is the old  “It is a Small World”.  It was one of things my kids loved when they were young. Well enjoy your trip.  

 

Hi Ibmom.  Thanks for the update at 4 months off.  I understand the fatigue factor.  I also got lots of fatigue in my first six months off in particular.  I thought that the exercise might boost my energy too, but sometimes I got more tired and had to have a nap in the afternoon.  Your body, brain and nervous system are healing now.  If you need a break from exercise, that's fine.  Or keep it light, go for some short walks a few times a week.  Glad you were able to travel some in the summer with your family.  Yes, we're going to spend a few days in Orlando this Fall.  I think my son has only a couple years left of his "childhood" where he will truly appreciate the wonders of Disney and Orlando from a child's unlimited imaginary perspective.  Small World was one of my faves as a kid too .  Stay away from the Teacups!!! .  I don't think we're going to make it to the Magic Kingdom on this trip though.  The focus will be on Harry Potter and EPCOT this Fall, since we've done Magic Kingdom and Disneyland in recent years in CA.  Ok, hope everything continues to get better for you in the coming weeks and months .

 

 

Vertigo

[[ja...]]

Mr V...Hello

 

Just wanted to come bye and say Hi.

 

Hope your feeling well and enjoying your family this summer

 

~Jenny

[[ve...]]

Mr V...Hello

Just wanted to come bye and say Hi.

Hope your feeling well and enjoying your family this summer

~Jenny

 

Still adjusting my diet and exercise after long summer travel most of the month of July.  This is taking longer than expected!  Some fatigue and blues are lingering from too much sugar, very moderate alcohol (maybe 8 glasses of wine for the whole month of July) but too many sweets!  Currrently have some apathy and low energy.  Wish I could say it's been a good August but it's been kind of blah for 2 1/2 weeks.  I usually have a let down after summer travel.  Last summer was a bear, pretty rough at 9 months off.  I definitely overdid it more last summer and returned with elevated blood pressure, jelly legs, cog fog, anxiety... This is surely less intense than last August,  but the blues are stronger this time.  Maybe I need to spend my vacations like a monk or just stay away from coffee, cake and alcohol, but then what kind of vacation would it be ???

 

 

Vertigo

[[Su...]]

Thank you all for your comments about my exercising...I am increasing my protein intake and will get some shakes like Ginger suggested..that is a good idea....I do not want to stop exercising as I feel my body getting stronger and more flexible and I like it...however, it is really making my symptoms worse, so I'm thinking of toning it down a bit...maybe less weight/more reps...and not doing  days in a row, maybe 3 on then 1 off...I will tweak it as I go.

 

It's generally a good idea to give a day of rest between anaerobic workouts with weights.  So that means about three times a week on the weights, but you can do walks and biking more frequently. Also, I think Matrix found that less weight with more reps was better for him in the first year off.   Follow your own gut and you will be back on track soon Sunny .

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

 

These are very good ideas..it is frustrating though because my body is ready to exercise this hard but my CNS isn't evidently...I've responded so quickly physicaly to the program...I've gone from doing 3lbs and 5 lbs to 8lbs and 10lbs just in 2 weeks...I still can't do a pull up yet...lol...but I can't wait until I do..still no lbs. lost, at least I don't feel like it, my husband has hidden my scales from me so I don't know what I weight...he says he has had to take "drastic measures", lol...

[[...]]

Mr V...Hello

Just wanted to come bye and say Hi.

Hope your feeling well and enjoying your family this summer

~Jenny

 

Still adjusting my diet and exercise after long summer travel most of the month of July.  This is taking longer than expected!  Some fatigue and blues are lingering from too much sugar, very moderate alcohol (maybe 8 glasses of wine for the whole month of July) but too many sweets!  Currrently have some apathy and low energy.  Wish I could say it's been a good August but it's been kind of blah for 2 1/2 weeks.  I usually have a let down after summer travel.  Last summer was a bear, pretty rough at 9 months off.  I definitely overdid it more last summer and returned with elevated blood pressure, jelly legs, cog fog, anxiety... This is surely less intense than last August,  but the blues are stronger this time.  Maybe I need to spend my vacations like a monk or just stay away from coffee, cake and alcohol, but then what kind of vacation would it be ???

 

 

Vertigo

 

Hey Vert,

 

Sorry to hear about your setback.  I just got back from Vail, CO yesterday.  It was the first vacation I have taken since going benzo free almost 17 months ago (and while Malibu, CA was a nice place to detox, I certainly was in no shape for surfing while there so I can't call it a vacation.    )

 

Anyway, I consider myself totally healed, too...but I did want to let you know I felt a small resurgence of symptoms while on vacation.  I think this was due to the flight.  I have a total fear of flying and we had some major turbulence.  Then, I had some altitude sickness.  So overall, even though we're healed, I think major life stressors or extreme fear can bring back some mild symptoms for a day or two.  I took today off from work as well to recuperate from the vaca...lol.  I'm totally back to normal now.

 

Also, I kind of went a bit crazy on the sugar and caffeine a few weeks ago and it tore me up a bit.  Maybe it would be good for you to cut out the alcohol and sugar for a few more months?  I think we may be sensitive to some things all the way up to the 2 year mark. 

 

But it is SO good to see you here feeling healed!  Life is good now.

[[ve...]]

Hi Leslie.  Good to hear from you.  I'm happy to read that you were able to take a vacation to Colorado.  My wife and I were in Vail one summer and enjoyed river rafting  and other summer fun about 15 years ago.  Would love to go back some day.  I think you're right about still having some sensitivities to certain stress, even this far out from the taper.  Well, I guess you did a detox in Malibu.  I agree that there are better things to do on the CA coast .  I'll come back to post a bit more later.

 

Vertigo

[[Un...]]

Ok.  Since this thread is for people that are totally off it, I got to ask here.  I been off Xanax for 3 weeks c\t now.  I made gigantic improvements in the 3rd week.  But now I am closing in on week 4 and I feel like I am taking a step back!  I got insomnia again, headaches, red eyes and annoying breathing awareness.  Is it normal that the symptoms could show back up AFTER feeling like healing was coming on quick???

[[ve...]]

Ok.  Since this thread is for people that are totally off it, I got to ask here.  I been off Xanax for 3 weeks c\t now.  I made gigantic improvements in the 3rd week.  But now I am closing in on week 4 and I feel like I am taking a step back!  I got insomnia again, headaches, red eyes and annoying breathing awareness.  Is it normal that the symptoms could show back up AFTER feeling like healing was coming on quick???

 

Hi Unr3al.  Yes it is quite expected to have symptoms ebb and flow, wax and wane in the early months off the benzo.  Some have referred to the process as non linear in that one may take several steps forward and then have periods that feel like moving backwards.  Hang in there buddy.

 

Vertigo

[[Un...]]

Thank you Vertigo for the response.  I will keep telling myself it is just withdrawal.  After a week of feeling like almost myself again it is hard to go back to feeling like crap with symptoms.  I thought it was almost beat and was coming up to fully healed.  But I guess the battle isn't done yet. 

[[ve...]]

Thank you Vertigo for the response.  I will keep telling myself it is just withdrawal.  After a week of feeling like almost myself again it is hard to go back to feeling like crap with symptoms.  I thought it was almost beat and was coming up to fully healed.  But I guess the battle isn't done yet.  

 

No worries Unr3al.  That's amazing that you felt "yourself" for a week.  That must give you some hope that things can and will heal in the coming weeks and months.  I have heard that with xanax, it is not uncommon to have rebound anxiety, mini panic... so the breathing awareness and other symptoms you mentioned could be part of it.  At a couple months off, sleep was not an issue for me as much because I had a great deal of fatigue.  I guess we all react differently to being off the benzo.

 

V

[[ve...]]

Hi all -- it's been a while...

--------

My update at 30 months off:

Insomnia still bad but not horrible like it was. Maybe I'm just getting used to sleeping only 4-5 hours/night.

Tinnitus:  An absolute nightmare. It continues to wake me up and/or keep me up. It continues to make me cry on occasion.

Blurry right eye, which gets really bad when I'm tired or on the computer for too long.

Stress causes resurgence of burning bones, pounding back and makes my eye worse.

Cognitive deficits continue. Retention terrible; comprehension a real struggle.  Can no longer intellectually multitask. To do so causes massive anxiety attack, I can pass out easily and my brain sizzles (it feels like an egg in a frying pan). Overstimulation (a crowd of people talking at once, reading with the TV on, lots of lights/colors/loud music (like at a concert or at my gym) causes my brain to sizzle, too, and I get very agitated and confused.

NO improvements at all for at least 6 months.

Accommodation is difficult but not impossible. Acceptance is getting difficult, however.

Still, I'm doing so much better!

Live your life. Don't give in. Eat right, exercise, and pray like crazy that at 2+ years out you won't be in my club.

Here's to better days!

ginger

 

Hey G.  I've been meaning to respond to your post.  Thanks for the update, even though I am sorry to read that the last six months have not had improvements.  Have you had any alcohol the last few months while on vacation?  I did while traveling last month along with caffeine, too many sweets and treats... and I can say that not only have there not been improvements here from 20- 21 months but it's been an adjustment being back home and the blues have come on a bit. No, I've not been "eating right" or exercising !  Anyway, I wonder if you might have gone off the wagon in recent summer months, perhaps would explain less improvements at least during the summer months when one tends to get out more, travel....  Hang in there buddy. I'm hoping to turn this ship back around myself!  I saw some nice improvements from months 17 to 20.  20 to 21 have been a turn around in the wrong direction (by choice since I do like to have some treats while traveling, knowing there will be health consequences) but hoping that months 21 to 24 will be the homestretch towards better days.  Hey, gotta have some dreams and goals, eh?

 

 

V

[[ve...]]

Good Morning Verti, Today is 16 weeks benz free and I when I step back and take a look at the big picture I am fortunate.  I am able to travel, work and socialize with family and friends.  I still find that I don’t handle stress well, but I am hoping this will come with time.  I can remember the day when things didn’t bother me and I enjoyed the challenge. Not the case anymore. I am able to enjoy my morning cup of coffee without it revving up the system, but I still cannot drink any alcohol without paying the price. I have tried an occasional glass of wine and/or mix drink, but never feel well after the fact. Guess it is still too soon.

 

Hi Ibmom.  I think I may have responded to part of your post.  I wanted to add that I think it is very normal to react to stress a little more sensitively at three to four months off. I know I did.  That's great that you can drink some coffee and enjoy it.  As for the vino, perhaps you are right to wait on that for a while longer. 

 

Best,

 

V

[[gi...]]

Hi all -- it's been a while...

--------

My update at 30 months off:

Insomnia still bad but not horrible like it was. Maybe I'm just getting used to sleeping only 4-5 hours/night.

Tinnitus:  An absolute nightmare. It continues to wake me up and/or keep me up. It continues to make me cry on occasion.

Blurry right eye, which gets really bad when I'm tired or on the computer for too long.

Stress causes resurgence of burning bones, pounding back and makes my eye worse.

Cognitive deficits continue. Retention terrible; comprehension a real struggle.  Can no longer intellectually multitask. To do so causes massive anxiety attack, I can pass out easily and my brain sizzles (it feels like an egg in a frying pan). Overstimulation (a crowd of people talking at once, reading with the TV on, lots of lights/colors/loud music (like at a concert or at my gym) causes my brain to sizzle, too, and I get very agitated and confused.

NO improvements at all for at least 6 months.

Accommodation is difficult but not impossible. Acceptance is getting difficult, however.

Still, I'm doing so much better!

Live your life. Don't give in. Eat right, exercise, and pray like crazy that at 2+ years out you won't be in my club.

Here's to better days!

ginger

 

Hey G.  I've been meaning to respond to your post.  Thanks for the update, even though I am sorry to read that the last six months have not had improvements.  Have you had any alcohol the last few months while on vacation?  I did while traveling last month along with caffeine, too many sweets and treats... and I can say that not only have there not been improvements here from 20- 21 months but it's been an adjustment being back home and the blues have come on a bit. No, I've not been "eating right" or exercising !  Anyway, I wonder if you might have gone off the wagon in recent summer months, perhaps would explain less improvements at least during the summer months when one tends to get out more, travel....  Hang in there buddy. I'm hoping to turn this ship back around myself!  I saw some nice improvements from months 17 to 20.  20 to 21 have been a turn around in the wrong direction (by choice since I do like to have some treats while traveling, knowing there will be health consequences) but hoping that months 21 to 24 will be the homestretch towards better days.  Hey, gotta have some dreams and goals, eh?

 

 

V

 

To say "fall off the wagon" implies that I was on a wagon vis a vis AA...so no, I didn't fall off the wagon, but I have had a number of drinks especially in the last 6 months. I'm sure that does have something to do with it, but my improvements stalled around last Thanksgiving not 6 months ago when I think about it.  Since then I've had some pretty horrific emotional/home stuff go down, and that definitely impacted my progress as well. Anymore, any little stress makes something tingle or blur or ring!  Seems to be the case for everyone still in the trenches 18+ months out.

 

Dreams are the only things we've got, buddy, until they become reality!

 

hang tough.

 

g

[[ve...]]

Hi G.  My CNS also seems to still be sensitive to stress, even relatively "small things".  But when the bigger things happen like you mentioned in terms of stronger emotional stuff, family issues, things impacting finances... it can be more challenging.  

 

As far as the alcohol, I see your point about the "off the wagon" comment.  You and I both seem to have made the choice to imbibe once in a while and I think we both know that there can be consequences in terms of the impact on GABA (particularly the first years off the benzo).  I don't know that it has delayed my healing significantly but I think it has had some impact, even if mild.  I have not had any binge drinking or strong cocktails, although last month I did have my first "real drink", a martini on my wife's birthday.  This summer, I've experienced some blues like I did last summer after indulging in some "treats while traveling" for a few weeks.   It's been slightly easier for me at 20 months off than 9 months off in that I've tapered off coffee this time more slowly and I've been decreasing the sugary treats rather than just stopping all of them at once.  Yet I wonder if it was worth it.  When I travel, I like to try different foods and that includes sweets and some alcohol.  Maybe it's not the best thing to do, but I feel like my trip would not be as enjoyable if I am over focused on avoiding treats.   In the first six months off valium, I did have a few glasses of wine about a month off, something I would not do if I had to do it over.  I feel that was too early.  The next time was at 5 months and that went ok.  Perhaps it is best to wait a year, certainly not a bad idea to abstain in the first six months off.

 

By the way, interesting that you mention how stress makes you "blur or ring".  I recall that tinnitus has been one of the stronger challenges you've had.  For me, it was vertigo after my c/t off valium three years ago.    At the beginning of this year (at 14 months post taper), we got a puppy which you and some others who read this thread, know.  That first month was very difficult in terms of housebreaking, sleep disturbance due to "worry" that the puppy was going to pee or poo on our carpet, constantly had to watch him (he chewed the baseboards, stairs, then got worms and turned out to have other health problems which ended up costing a fair amount of money.   Interestingly, a couple weeks after getting the puppy, vertigo returned for the first time since my c/t off valium in 2008 .   That was scary but a reminder that stress really can impact the nervous system in strong ways, even a year or more off the benzo.  I have heard some folks refer to it as the CNS must "reset" or "rewire" in the first two or three years off the benzo.   Anyway, I hope you get back on track soon.

 

V

[[pa...]]

Hi V and all!

Just getting back to the forum after a somewhat hectic week...

Last week I worked 3 late shifts (Mon night, Wed, and Thurs). Whenever I work the late shifts, I don't usually get to bed until about 3:00 or so. This always seems to mess up my sleep rythm for a time. Then, I find myself having some mild to moderate insomnia. I had the unfortunate experience to start the week off (Sun night) hardly sleeping at all (only 3 hours). Then, I had to stay up late to work Mon night. Tues night, again I had trouble sleeping (about 4 1/2 hours) then had to work late Wed night and Thurs night. I had some insomnia again Fri night and Sat night but at least got a decent number of hours sleep, just broken up. Finally, Sun night, I slept well.

Boy, what a boatride that was! Anyway, this week, I worked Mon and Tues nights but last night, I slept decently although I did wake up through the night more than usually.

I really dislike this alternating shift pattern and I so look forward to the day when I can work a permamnent shift. I'm never forced to take on the extra hours, it's just that if I don't work them, I don't get paid. That is what makes it most difficult. At least it's nice to know exactly what causes my intermittent insomnia troubles. I had a conversation with my doctor the other day and he agreed that shift work such as that can definetly mess up a sleep cycle for anyone. That made me feel better in the sense that sometimes my mind can 'invent' problems (such as a strange illness) whenever a problem such as insomnia occurs for no apparent reason. Any other post benzo people have this happen also?

I'm in good spirits today just a little tired. I'm happy to see this thread continue and I wish all my post taper benzo buddies a great rest of the week!

[[ve...]]

Hi Pangelingua.  Sounds like you're going through some stress at work with the inconsistent schedule and late shifts impacting your sleep.  I hope things will settle down for you soon and hopefully get to a more regular routine.  Keep up the spirits buddy and I hope you will feel better soon.

 

V

[[ve...]]

Have a great weekend buddies .

 

Vertigo

[[ro...]]

Hi V:

 

I think I have slumped backwards in sxs about two weeks ago.  I'm hoping this means I will come out with fewer sxs that may be gone forever.  My sleep has taken a big dive -- can't fall asleep and sleep for about 1-2 hrs. with wakeups.  Also, some new stuff - internal trembling a few mornings.  I was able to take a 2 hr. nap yesterday afternoon after a 3.5 hr. nite of sleep (TYG). 

 

Did this happen to you?  Any other BBs out there have this happen around 4 months or so off??  I had quit taking melatonin and thought that might be contributing to the problem.  But I took it last nite and had the same difficult time falling asleep and several wakeups.

 

Felt like I was getting some long windows of 10 days, them BAM.  Back to the days and sxs right after post taper.  

 

Hope you are having some good lazy summer days.  Enjoy your trip to Orlando -- a very magical place to be after recovery from the benzo stuff.

 

GBYB,

Rocko

[[ve...]]

Sorry to hear this Rocko.  Setbacks are pretty common even at three to four months off.  You might recall that i had my first mini panic at 3 months off and again at 5 months.  The body and brain are continually adjusting to being off the benzo.  As far as the sleep, I was very fatigued at three months off and naps were very helpful to me at that point.  Hang in there.  Month 5 was the real turn around for me and I hope it will be for you as well.  Be careful of adding too many supplements. The body is very sensitive right now.

 

 

V

[[le...]]

Hi Rocko,

 

I am sorry I have lost contact with you...but just saw your post here and wanted to respond!  I have looked back over the records I kept in my calendar, and I was at my worst (or one of my "worsts") at about 4 months off.  I, like you, had some improvements a little earlier after tapering and then got slammed terribly (which was so hard not only physically, but also psychologically).  I actually made an appointment with a chiropractor to see if he could help me, as I had muscle spasms in my upper back that were crippling!  I think he actually made things worse for me.

 

I don't say all this to scare you, but rather to let you know that YES, you will go through periods where it will feel like any improvement you might have made has all gone down the drain.  But remember much of the healing that is going on is "invisible".  I guess it is kind of like when you get a cut or a bad scrape...and sometimes while it is healing, you get this horrible itch (which you can't scratch or you will open the wound again).  That "itch" is actually the wound getting better.

 

Hope this helps just a bit...

 

Love,

Leena

[[pa...]]

Hi Rocko

So sorry to hear about the setbacks you're having. I too had these at about 7-12 months out. I think part of it may have been the second taper from the A/D (remeron) plus the fact that my CNS was still recovering. Until 6 months post taper, I felt unstoppable, and then gradually worries and other stress started creeping up on me until at 11 months out I fell into a bad spell that lasted 2 months. Lots of insomnia, depression, feelings of doom and even a relapse in benzo symptoms. As for my sleep, I developed a fear of not falling asleep that lasted quite some time and yes, I did end up having sleepless nights or nights with little sleep.

I know this sounds gloomy but I did recover from the bad wave! Since that time, I have more or less bounced back to where I was before. Occassionally, I still have some insomnia issues but I have since learned that a lot of this is due to the alternating shift work that I do through the week. As I posted earlier in this thread, sometimes just having a reason for symptoms can alleve my worries and then they don't seem so overwhelming. Of course, we can't always expect to get good reasons for why somethings happening right away. Sometimes, we just have to trust the process and the reasons will be revealed in time.

Till then, I wish you a steady recovery. It will happen! Wishing you much peace and happiness and lots of good windows!

[[ro...]]

Hi Vertigo:

 

Thank you, thank you for your quick response.  I know I can always count on you for some pearls of wisdom and support  . 

 

When one completes their taper, a psychological assumption is that you will slowly improve in sxs and keep moving forward as such.  Big incorrect assumption that I've made.    Oh well, you healed and so many others have pulled up and out -- this process keeps one guessing "when?"  It helps to hear from the benzo pros that going backwards is a normal part of the healing process.  Kind of like having your infected appendix removed only to still have the pain :tickedoff:.  (...I had an emergency appendectomy in 2007.) 

 

Hey Leena:  How you doing?  I hope you are well past this benzo madness and enjoying life to the fullest.  Did you make it out my way in July? 

 

Many thanks for looking at your past sxs and helping me identify this normal mode of operation at 4 months out.  Last nite, I woke up in the middle of the night with jaw pain, sore throat, and intense heat.  I rode it out and knew it was a "wave."  It dissipated about 1.5 hrs. later and I went back to sleep.  I think my body is fighting the WD stuff with all its itty bitty might. 

 

I loved your wound with an itch analogy.  It is so spot on girl.  I do chart my daily sxs too as I think it's the only defined way to see the improvements.  I don't like guessing what I went through -- it's there on paper. 

 

Pange:  Good to hear back from you too on the flareups that happen while in recovery.  I don't feel so crazy this a.m.  I was on a low dose of Remeron too for a few times during the benzo interdosing stuff.  I was only on for three months or so but it sure made me hungry (all the time).  I, too, feel unstoppable during my good windows.  It creeps in that I am healed - voila - no more bad days.  But I know now I am far from that.  So many activities I want to get involved in and I know I just have to wait until the healing is well under my belt. 

 

Yes, shift work can play havoc on your circadian rhythme.  Do you take melatonin on the nites you don't have to work?  Yep, totally relate to the sleep fear thing.  I had researched a few articles on melatonin's benefits for withdrawal from benzos and have been taking it throughout my taper and off as well.  But on my worse nites, nothing works and no sleep. 

 

Hope you and the family are doing great -- please stay around for awhile.  We need to hear from the "benzo pros" -- you all are invaluable in this process.

 

GBYB Verti, Leena, and Pange!

 

Rocko

[[ve...]]

Hi Rocko.  You are most welcome.  Many of us made the error of expecting a linear recovery off the benzo.  It really does seem to ebb and flow, doesn't it?  Yet, progress can be noticed with most months, although i did have a couple of down months which were mostly due to my own choices, such as having more caffeine or alcohol while on vacation last summer and this summer, something I don't recommend.  

 

Hi Leena.  Good to see you here on the post benzo thread. I posted to your blog earlier.  Sorry the chiropractor made things worse for you.  I like your analogy about the wound and itch too .  Well, I hope you get some cooler temps soon.  I can't imagine 106 and 100% humidity although I've spent some pretty hot and humid days in Austin over the years .

 

Have a great weekend everyone,

 

Vertigo

[[ve...]]

Hi Rocko

So sorry to hear about the setbacks you're having. I too had these at about 7-12 months out. I think part of it may have been the second taper from the A/D (remeron) plus the fact that my CNS was still recovering. Until 6 months post taper, I felt unstoppable, and then gradually worries and other stress started creeping up on me until at 11 months out I fell into a bad spell that lasted 2 months. Lots of insomnia, depression, feelings of doom and even a relapse in benzo symptoms. As for my sleep, I developed a fear of not falling asleep that lasted quite some time and yes, I did end up having sleepless nights or nights with little sleep.

I know this sounds gloomy but I did recover from the bad wave! Since that time, I have more or less bounced back to where I was before. Occassionally, I still have some insomnia issues but I have since learned that a lot of this is due to the alternating shift work that I do through the week. As I posted earlier in this thread, sometimes just having a reason for symptoms can alleve my worries and then they don't seem so overwhelming. Of course, we can't always expect to get good reasons for why somethings happening right away. Sometimes, we just have to trust the process and the reasons will be revealed in time.

Till then, I wish you a steady recovery. It will happen! Wishing you much peace and happiness and lots of good windows!

 

Hey Pangelingua.  It sounds like your experience has been similar to mine and others here who have had some setbacks even at 8 or 9 months but nevertheless not giving up hope and making some steady progress.  I hope you will continue to heal and feel better in the coming months.  No doubt it can be very discouraging when you are not getting regular consistent sleep.  Will you be singing in choir today?

 

God Bless,

 

V