Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[Guest [Ma...]]

Hey Billwill,

 

I'm off since 4/14/11 and have been struggling these last few days.  Maybe we will feel better soon.

 

M

[[Fl...]]

The 2-3 month period was extremely rough for me, but my symptoms took a dramatic turn for the better at month 4.

 

That was pretty much my experience as well, except the big turn happened around month 5.

[[Lu...]]

Hi Bill, I'm just a week behind you, I think this is # 52 for me. Some days I'm so discouraged because I have too much anxiety to do the things I want but when I think of all that I endured during tapering and now Benzo free, it does give me some assurance things will get better. I sleep a lot better at night but I take Melatonin for that. I skipped taking it a few nights and it didn't hurt. I'd like to believe the extreme overreaction to trivial things has toned down a bit. The burning arms comes and goes, the dizziness comes and goes. I can exercise but not to the full extent that I used to because it does hype me up a bit. I just feel bored sitting around so much and at my age if you don't use it, you really lose it. I'm really becoming skinny Minny and I don't like it. Mainly just for now I keep more to myself than I would like because of anxiety and it is lonely but I'm trying to be calm for a while and HEAL so I am able to face and overcome my social anxiety with exposure therapy. I went out this past weekend and I was way too anxious. Then I hate myself for feeling that way. But from what I am reading from others, it's going to be a long journey back, one which I'm ready to take. Come join me.

[[ma...]]

Hi Bill,

 

I still have about a month left to my taper, but I wanted to say congratulations on your hard work!  I don't know about you, but this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

 

Lucy,

 

I worry too about the social anxiety and whether it will ever get better.  These days, on the very rare occasions I go out with anyone other than my boyfriend, I get tingling all over my body, feel shaky and my head spins.  This is my biggest fear, that I'll never be able to socialize normally again.  It's a VERY lonely existence when you have this problem.  I get it.

 

Congratulations to everyone for completing the taper!

 

Mal

[[ve...]]

Hope you got some sleep Lidaboo .

 

Vertigo

[[Mi...]]

The "60 Day Club"  has been merged into the "Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group" thread.

[[pe...]]

Please remember that it does get better. 

Those words don't have much meaning while you are still suffering, but,

BELIEVE ME...IT WILL GET BETTER!

 

I am 18 months benzo-free and I am here to give hope to everyone who is

still having such a hard time...I have been there.  And I had no idea that it would take this long.

And, quite frankly, I thought it would never happen.  That I would never feel good again.

 

But, it did.  And, as Dr. Ashton said, the 18 month mark is the real deal...that is how long it

really takes.  Just these past few days, I have felt really like my old self.  I can see clearly,

as thought the fog has finally lifted for good.  I feel stronger physically than I have in years.

And, I have hope that from now on, it will get better and better.

 

For all of this I am so thankful.  The days of struggling to be rid of benzos are behind me now.

And it was a struggle unlike any I could have ever imagined.  Words cannot even begin to describe it.

It was true suffering...as we all know.

 

Please know that I am thinking of all who are there now...still struggling.

It will happen for you, too, and you will feel like you have conquered the world.

 

Percussion

aka Tish

[Guest [Ma...]]

Please remember that it does get better. 

Those words don't have much meaning while you are still suffering, but,

BELIEVE ME...IT WILL GET BETTER!

 

I am 18 months benzo-free and I am here to give hope to everyone who is

still having such a hard time...I have been there.   And I had no idea that it would take this long.

And, quite frankly, I thought it would never happen.  That I would never feel good again.

 

But, it did.  And, as Dr. Ashton said, the 18 month mark is the real deal...that is how long it

really takes.  Just these past few days, I have felt really like my old self.  I can see clearly,

as thought the fog has finally lifted for good.  I feel stronger physically than I have in years.

And, I have hope that from now on, it will get better and better.

 

For all of this I am so thankful.  The days of struggling to be rid of benzos are behind me now.

And it was a struggle unlike any I could have ever imagined.  Words cannot even begin to describe it.

It was true suffering...as we all know.

 

Please know that I am thinking of all who are there now...still struggling.

It will happen for you, too, and you will feel like you have conquered the world.

 

Percussion

aka Tish

 

I'll have to take your word for it because right now I am having a hard time believing you.  I apologize for my negativity, but I am really struggling. 

[[be...]]

Thanks Percussion!

 

I really need a pick me up today. 

 

I'm getting so worn down by all of this.  I feel that I have soooo long to go.  But still hanging on, even if it's by a thread most days. 

[[ve...]]

Hi to all my post benzo buddies.  I agree with Percussion/Tish that it can be helpful to understand that the realistic timeframe for more "total recovery" can be anywere from 6-18 months.  However, that doesn't mean all symptoms will stick around for that long.  In my case, for example, many of my sympoms were gone by 6 months such as cog fog and being off balance, tinnitus, significant sleep trouble... (although the off balance thing briefly came back at 9 months off).  It's peaks and valleys, windows and waves for many folks, although some say they don't have many windows and then suddenly wake up with a window that lasts a long time or forever.  There is no one set recipe for recovery.  However, the majority seem to be feeling at least 50% there by about 5-6 months off.  I was more like 75% at that point but it took me about a year to get to 90%.  A few stubborn symptoms lingered to about 18 months but there were improvements in many areas each month (and some setbacks in some months).  Keep the faith.  Most will get there gradually, some more quickly than others.  Also, there are many variables that might impact recovery such as age, type of benzo, length of time on the benzo, how large a dose, other medications previously or currently still used once off the benzo, coping skills for anxiety and stress, diet, nutrition, exercise, how much sleep you're getting, other medical problems, history of depression, pre benzo emotional or physical issues, whether still using alcohol or caffeine... to name a few.  Also, there is some controversey but some have suggested that c/t may increase recovery time vs slow taper, although some who tapered had long recovery while some who had rapid taper or c/t were able to recover within a few months.  It's very individual how one reacts to going off a benzo but most do recover even though it may take a year or longer in some cases, to eliminate most or all symptoms.  Again, some symptoms may go, come back and finally go long before a year.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo (aka, John )

[[Ve...]]

Hi all, 

 

I'm in a bit of turmoil right now, so I apologize in advance for anything that doesn't make sense...  I started the BC Pill this past Sunday because since getting off the benzos 3 months ago I've had a lot of hormonal problems and bleeding constantly and this is the only way to stop it short of a hysterectomy.  Starting last night I've been an anxious, crying mess.  I was doing SO well... SO SO WELL!  Oh boy, now I'm crying again.  I just can't stop... and I have to go to work today and I can't afford  not to.  I don't know if I should try to stay the course for the next three months, as they say to, and see if the symptoms subside, or if I should stop now and risk bleeding for the rest of my freaking life.  I'm just a wreck- overnight I turned into a completely different person.  I feel really lost and alone.  Does anyone have any advice?  I'm seeing my doctor a week from today.  Thanks. 

[[ro...]]

Hi Venus:

 

Sorry to hear you had to start on the BC pill.  I PMed you with something that worked well for me. 

 

We don't want you going backwards after being and feeling so well!! :smitten:

 

God bless,

Rocko

[[ve...]]

Hi Venus.  I think Summermeadow had a similar experience except it was at the end of her taper a few weeks ago.  The BC pill appears to have an impact on GABA.   I think there's a thread that Meljo may have started on hormones and GABA.  I'm sorry to read of your relapse.  

 

Hang in there,

 

Vertigo

[[pe...]]

Hi Venus,

 

Wish I could be of help, but don't have any experience with BC pills.

I do know that the benzo w/d seem to over-ride anything else going on...that has been my experience.

Therefore, perhaps it is more benzo w/d that the BC.

 

I am so sorry that you are suffering so...please keep communicating with the buddies here...that will help A LOT!

 

Tish

[[Ve...]]

Thanks all.  I'm doing better tonight.  I managed to pull myself together for work, although I was shaking right up to the door.  Having my mind on teaching the kiddos sure helps though.  I'm hoping that my body will adjust to the change in hormones in time (hopefully sooner than later!)  For now, I'm going to hang in there with this and see.  I started feeling really nauseous before work so I took a gravel pill... It helped me calm down as well as got rid of the nausea, but I'm leary of it because I assume anything that has a calming effect is working some GABA magic, and I don't want to go there.  I intend to do some research here on gravel w/ benzo w/d.  Vertigo, I will look into Summermeadow's and Meljo's posts for sure.  I did a search on the pill earlier but didn't find much, think my search words were no good though.  I'll keep y'all posted.  Thanks again.  Hope you all have a good night.  And if not, hang in there... there are future good nights in store for you.  ;-)

[[ve...]]

Thanks all.  I'm doing better tonight.  I managed to pull myself together for work, although I was shaking right up to the door.  Having my mind on teaching the kiddos sure helps though.  I'm hoping that my body will adjust to the change in hormones in time (hopefully sooner than later!)  For now, I'm going to hang in there with this and see.  I started feeling really nauseous before work so I took a gravel pill... It helped me calm down as well as got rid of the nausea, but I'm leary of it because I assume anything that has a calming effect is working some GABA magic, and I don't want to go there.  I intend to do some research here on gravel w/ benzo w/d.  Vertigo, I will look into Summermeadow's and Meljo's posts for sure.  I did a search on the pill earlier but didn't find much, think my search words were no good though.  I'll keep y'all posted.  Thanks again.  Hope you all have a good night.  And if not, hang in there... there are future good nights in store for you.  ;-)

 

Glad you are hanging in there Venus .  I agree that if something is calming, it may be suspect in terms of some impact on GABA, but sometimes if it's just mild, it may be ok if you are far enough out.  It may take 3-6 weeks to fully stabilize from what I've seen of some buddies who have had issues with hormones, patches, BC pills... and benzo interactions.  Does you doctor have any input?

 

Best,

 

V

[[Ve...]]

I'm hoping the worst with this is over.  I felt a little better yesterday and even better today, so I hope that trend continues.  So far I haven't completely wigged out since Thursday, so YAY! 

 

Vertigo, yes, I did some online research about the Gravol and it turns out it is addictive, especially in teenagers.  Strange, but true.  So, I haven't used it again even though I was pretty nauseous last night and could have, but I didn't.  I'm seeing my doc on Thursday next week, so I'll let you all know if she has anything interesting to say about all this. 

[[...]]

Nearly 14 months off and I'm feeling much better.. insomnia is still pretty bad but I was an insomniac before I ever tried benzos! I am working full time as well as taking classes at a state college online.

[[Pe...]]

Hey tron,

 

What benzo were you on, how much, and for how long?  Did you Detox/Cold Turkey or taper?

[[st...]]

Hi John, and BB's

 

How are you? I haven't seen you in a few days....

 

As you know I am 9 months off benzos which is twice the length of time I was on them... and there are still a few lingering symptoms.

 

The most upsetting one is IRRATIONAL FEARS. However much less than before. Mostly I feel I am recovered. I have even gained back all the weight I lost, plus a little more... now I look differently at fat. I was never fat but I always wanted to lose some . Now I want to stay with some fat - it feels good! at my lowest I was very thin in spite of eating all the time... and I lost muscles too - and it felt so sick! It felt like dying, like my body was dying slowly.

 

I have gained my independence mostly... I couldn't be alone, for a very long time... I can say that all of my physical symps have gone.

and there were MANY physical symptoms...

 

Sometimes I get just a little brain fog, but it's nothing compared to what it was like a few months ago...

 

I hope you are well. Are you in California now??

 

 

And to all the other buddies - sending love and 'chi' to all of you!

 

Ilana.

[[Li...]]

Hello Ilana,

 

Re: the weight loss and gain - when did you notice the weight gain returning? I suffer the same sx and it is so unsettling for me. I work in a corporate office with a large number of associates and they are always looking at me as if though I am sick, always commenting about the weight loss (of course not sleeping makes it worse because I do look so tired). I lost a lot of weight pre/during/post withdrawal . My clothes don't fit and I don"t want to go out and buy a new wardrobe as I have been told the weight loss is temporary.

 

If the weight gain takes months to return, I will have to go on a shopping spree!

 

Regards,

 

Lida

[[st...]]

Hi Lida,

 

I'm sorry you are suffering from the weight loss. I tought I'd never gain it back!  It happened gradually, and about the 6th month off I started gaining it - but so very slowly.... Now it feels so good to have some muscles back and fat!!! the body likes fat!

 

I promise you it will happen, that's nature. When your body will be healthy - the fat will come back. I promise you.  I know how miserable you must feel with people making such remarks...

 

Good luck Lida!

 

  Ilana.

[[Sw...]]

Hi there Lida and Ilana.    I lost about 15 pounds in the blink of an eye, it seems.  I had no appetite and I have never been that way in my life.  I like food and cooking, etc...  My weight started to gradually come back at about the 3 month free mark.  I've gained about 10 pounds of it back.  I'm happy with that.  I agree Ilana, our bodies should have some fat.  Especially important for women so that their hormones can be balanced.  Good luck Lida.  So sorry people are staring.  I was there at one time - no sleep (dark circles and bags) and quick weight loss.  That doesn't look good on anyone, does it?

[[st...]]

Hi sweetpepper,

 

Now I realize that maybe the time we heal - and gain weight back is relative to  the time we were on the drugs!!! you were on them very short term - and your weight came back in 3 months, and in my case it took 6 months.

 

  all the best - Ilana.

[[Li...]]

Thank you Ilana and SweetPepper,

 

I have another window/door to look forward to opening! I like cooking and good food - - I am from New Orleans and learned how to cook early in my years! My family has been deprived of their favorite dishes because my taste buds have been compromised by k and ambien. I just don't feel like going into the kitchen! I have gotten my appetite back and I am eating a lot - just not showing up on the thighs!

 

Take care all!

 

Lida