Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ve...]]

Hey Marina.  Yes, I'm convinced it takes more than a year because it did for me .   Yes, I had more anxiety and return of vertigo in month 14.  That being said. it was provoked by the addition of stress in the house, a four legged creature that my son has been begging to get for several years. Just couldn't keep denying him after putting him and my family through the benzo beast for the last two years.  Anyway, got the puppy housebroken and miraculously the anxiety and sleeplessness diminished .  Don't get a puppy during withdrawal .

 

 I think other stressful situations can play a role in testing our systems as we progress on the healing journey.   Don't give up hope Marina.  You'd be surprised how another three months can make a lot of difference in things, plus the Spring/summer "should" be more bright and cheerful, more vitamin D...

Well, thanks for your update.  I hope you reach your weight loss goal.  I also overdid the weight loss in month 13 so a number of things set me back going into the 2nd year.  Fortunately it turned around for me and I know it can for you too .

 

Have a great weekend,

 

Vertigo

[[da...]]

Hi Vertigo,

 

It is so nice to hear your story of healing. Today I have been very discouraged. I am growing impatient with my healing. I guess I just have to let it happen.

It has also been raining here for 6 days. No sun at all. I am ecstatic when it is sunny and the opposite when it is not sunny.

My mother and I live together. She is 82 and has COPD. she really doesn't understand what we go through.

 

Once again,

Thank you for this forum,

Dan

[[Ma...]]

Did you lose the weight or did you give up because it was too hard, in month 13, I know you finally did it (good for you. It's nearly summer and I think I'm considering the old Billy Crystal line "iz better to loog good than to feel good"). And thanks for the vote of confidence. You're always there with something up beat. You really are. Have a great evening.

xxm

 

ps No puppies on the horizon. One cat with behavioral problems is plenty.

[[ve...]]

The difference between dogs and cats...

 

A dog says "You love me, feed me, shelter me, care for me- you must be God

A cat says "You love me, feed me, shelter me, care for me- I must be God

 

Vertigo

[[Ma...]]

Good one.

[[ve...]]

Our pets sometimes have a pretty good life, eh?  I once read somewhere that animals don't spend the day "worrying" about what happened yesterday or what will or won't happen tomorrow.  They pretty much spend their time "in the moment".  Also, when something "bad" happens, they don't ruminate about it for months or years, they let it go and seem happy or at least content very soon after.  Maybe we can learn something from them too!

 

V

[[Ma...]]

V,

 

Don't know if this is the "place" for me but could really use some support.  My brain is like hamburger and I'm terrified that I am feeling more and more brain damaged by the day.  I know it's a temporary brain injury and that I will heal some day, but you can't believe that it could possibly be this bad.  I can't ride in a car to go anywhere because the visual input makes me feel like my brain has been bashed in by a sledgehammer.  With the DP I have no idea who or where I am and I may brain "gives out" every other minute.  I have tapered from benzos in the past so I know I'm kindled because I've never had anything like this before.  I am only at day 52 of what I'm sure is going to be a very long journey, but I don't know how to live feeling so lobotomized.  The pain is excruciating too.  I feel more "gone" every day.  Mornings are a horror because I'm even more out of it with DP that I could literally go through my house screaming I"m so terrified that it feels so insane.

 

I have found so many here with physical symptoms and some brain fog, but I have not heard anyone talk about feeling majorly comatose and non-functional most of the day.  Please someone tell me you've survived this!!!

 

 

[[ve...]]

Hi Maranatha.  I am sorry you are experiencing strong withdrawal at this time.  Did you c/t or have a fairly rapid taper?  Even if you did not, sometimes the first couple months can be very difficult in benzo recovery.  I ended up with Shingles six weeks after my taper ended.  The nervous system has to reset and apparently mine reacted poorly to a lot of stress I was under at the time.  Try to get lots of rest (sleep when you can), drink lots of water, eat well, get out each day for some sunshine, avoid B vitamin supplements, avoid alcohol and caffeine and ride out this wave.  I wish I could be more helpful.  I suspect you will start to feel a little better by 3 months off.  It took me about 5 months to get to about 75-80% and I did not take a particularly large amount of valium and I tapered pretty slowly.  Everyone is a little different and will have a different time line.  Average recovery is between 6-18 months.  I only recently wrote my "success story" at 18 months.  However, I was really significantly better by six months.  

 

Hang in there,

 

Vertigo

[[Ma...]]

Thanks V--took a total of 8 months to taper off of restoril and ativan in succession.  Finished in October.  Reinstated on 1 mg. klonopin for one week and then tapered from mid November to end of March.  Don't think it was rapid, but the on and off is brutal.  Praying I can make it to 90 days!  Thanks.

[[ve...]]

Thanks V--took a total of 8 months to taper off of restoril and ativan in succession.  Finished in October.  Reinstated on 1 mg. klonopin for one week and then tapered from mid November to end of March.  Don't think it was rapid, but the on and off is brutal.  Praying I can make it to 90 days!  Thanks.

 

Hi Marantha.  1mg of klon over 4 months might be a little quick for some but you've made it and are well into your  healing .  Many find that symptoms start to wane by about 3 months, while some other symptoms may linger longer.  As I said earlier, it took me 18 months before I felt like I could in good conscience say 98% of all this is behind me, about 90% at a year off, about 80% by six months.  There's always the possibility of a stressful event or situation causing a little wave or setback but healing does happen.  Also, the healing is not all going forward.  I found it helpful to know that there may be many valleys and periods of feeling like one might not get better, then another peak or two, followed by a drop back down a few steps backward.  It can be a strange roller coaster ride of sorts, but the good news is that eventually the ride ends and we can get off.  We may feel slightly dizzy or out of it after the ride for a while, but after some period of adjustment, things start to feel "normal" again.

 

Everyone is different and it may be possible for you to put the worst behind you in a matter of a few weeks from now.  Others go through the peaks and valleys, sometimes the valleys dip below where you were a few days or week ago or even a month ago but then the next peak will be higher than where you were the last time (eventually), a bit like the stock market.  If you look at a graph of how the DOW Jones has done over the years, particularly the last two years from about April 2009 to April 2011, it can be helpful. However, instead of looking at the graph as representative of a couple years, look at it in terms of about six months to a year.  You can see quite a few dips and steps back and forward,  but the trajectory is going up.  This is just one example but you get the idea...

 

http://finance.yahoo.com/echarts?s=

 

Well, I look forward to hearing future updates, whether they are peaks or valleys or a little of both.

 

 

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[Ma...]]

Thanks V!!!

[[ve...]]

Hi.  Just want to add that past performance does not guarantee future investing success .  Of course I'm only kidding.  The DOW Jones graph is only used as a metaphor for the kind of pattern that progress in healing may take.  Now let's hope for no more huge stock market dips and/or benzo crashes!!!

 

Vertigo

[[Ma...]]

Here's a funny one, a friend of mine commented that perhaps what animals in our care are experiencing is Stokholm Syndrome. It's pretty funny, sad, and probably more than a little true.. but my little critters sure do love me. Have a great day Verti.

m

[[ve...]]

Yea, they ought to love you.  Just got back from the vet yesterday, another $180!. Ear infection, bath, six month supply of flea medicine... another $200 down the tubes .  Oh well, saving lots of money on ER visits and doctor appointments by being off benzos .

 

Cheers,

 

Vertigo

[[Mi...]]

I hear ya.  I just spent $189.00 on Peanut aka Dude, and I take him back tomorrow where I'm sure they will charge me even more. 

 

These rescue animals can be expensive!http://i1132.photobucket.com/albums/m575/maxmoo/Funny%20Pics/Decor%20Smileys/rub.gif

[[ve...]]

I hear ya.  I just spent $189.00 on Peanut aka Dude, and I take him back tomorrow where I'm sure they will charge me even more.  These rescue animals can be expensive!http://i1132.photobucket.com/albums/m575/maxmoo/Funny%20Pics/Decor%20Smileys/rub.gif

 

Yep.  It has been quite a ride since January, Missy.  Anyway, I'm much less inclined to "worry" about our puppy as he seems to be over the worst of his health challenges.   Hope you find a good food for Peanut to try.  The Purina HA seemed to really calm the tummy down until we were ready to try the Natural Balance low ingredient (LID) food.   Another ten days or so to make the final switch away from the hypoallergenic food to 100% of the Natural Balance.  Now if I can figure out a good balance for my own diet and life .

 

 

V

 

 

[[ve...]]

Hope all you post benzo buddies are doing well.

 

Happy Memorial Weekend .

 

Vertigo

[[Sw...]]

Happy Memorial Day weekend to you too, Vertigo. Glad to hear Hero is doing better - what a trouper!

[[ve...]]

Hi folks.   After writing my 18 month "Success Story", I feel ready to spend most of the summer "free of benzos" to the extent possible.  It's a hard thing to leave one's buddies, particularly those who may still be tapering or just off the benzo beast and struggling with some symptoms.  I hope to see you around from time to time.

 

All the best,

 

Vertigo

[[Ve...]]

Ah, I finally made it to the Post Benzo group!  Yay!  Okay, so what is killing me right now is this awful Benzo Belly... what to do?!?  I look like I'm five months pregnant!  I have a small frame, and it just sticks out so prominently.. I swear I'm going to cry if someone asks me if I'm expecting, which I've already gotten and that was before my belly got this bad.  It's very uncomfortable- bloated, tight, heavy.. I swear right now I can't even breathe good.  Will this ever go away? 

 

Another problem I'm having is some major hormone imbalance issues...   We thought I had an ovarian cyst- I'm showing textbook symptoms- but I got a call from my doctor today saying that the ultrasound came back completely free of cysts.  I have to see her for a follow-up this Thursday.  This is very unnerving because I've been bleeding for almost two weeks now and this started a week after my last period.  I also have cramps very badly and my face is broken out like a teenager (not to mention the massive bloating!)  Is it possible that the benzo withdrawal is causing this? 

 

 

[[Ve...]]

Here's a funny one, a friend of mine commented that perhaps what animals in our care are experiencing is Stokholm Syndrome. It's pretty funny, sad, and probably more than a little true.. but my little critters sure do love me. Have a great day Verti.

m

 

Marnia, HAHA!  That is so funny and so true!  Mine is so much calmer now that I'm getting calmer.  It's amazing how they mirror us.  How did you do the smiley with the kitty?  That is adorable!

[[ve...]]

Hi Venus and welcome to the Post Benzo blog .  I gained about 15 to 20 lbs in the first 3-6 months after my taper ended.  I had lost some weight during taper and at the time was glad to have a good appetite back.  I think there are a few threads on here devoted to "benzo belly" which you could try a search on.  Anyway, I finally decided to try and lose some of the fat around my belly last Fall.  I managed to take off about 25lbs and feel much better because of it.  However, I probably went a little fast and with a little too much exercise and too much low carbing, I did have some adrenalin surges and excess anxiety a few months ago.  So I'd recommend starting a gradual process towards healthy living and weight loss.  I also found the "bender ball" to be of some help in losing some of the tummy, easier than doing traditional sit ups.  I recently saw an informercial for abrockettwister which looked interesting but maybe it's another gimmick.  How are you feeling otherwise?

 

Good luck!

 

V

[[Ve...]]

Thanks Vertigo.  Yes, I also lost some weight during my taper, only to gain it back and then some after I was done.  I guess that's the nature of the withdrawal.  I'm going to take it easy and slowly add exercise back into my daily routine.  :-)

[[Ma...]]

Most of the weight is finally gone. I'm having to take it slowly, in 3 pounds intervals. I'll put in the effort for 10 days or so then stop and stabilize, then do it again. I'm into round three and I've really only got 3 or four pounds left to go. The other sxs I can't do anything about so I'm not worrying about too much. I'll see at 18 months, but I have my doubts. I'm going to be a slow healer, I'm pretty sure. I'll tell you one thing, if I ever post a success story it'll be proof positive that anyone can get well. I can't tell you how looking forward to that day I am. But for now, I'm happy to say there has been progress, though slow progress, I don't have windows really so for the most part it's barely perceptible but when I first got off these drugs, the vertigo was so bad I was stumbling quite a lot and that's all gone, and for some time now. It comes back during times of stress but ever so rarely. It's better.

I'll be back at 18 months.

All the best!!

xxm

 

 

[[Ve...]]

Marina, that sounds like a really smart way to lose the weight.  I hear that the physical activity can rev up the nervous system, so it's a good idea to do it in intervals like that.  I hope you feel better soon.  I bet your time is very near.  ;-)  To health!