Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

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Happy Sunday Buddies

 

Vertigo

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Happy Sunday, Vertigo. 

 

Patty  xo

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Woke up feeling pretty decent today.   Took 1/4 allegra last night and it seemed to be enough to tackle the pollens and Spring allergies.  Also, slept pretty well to .  What is it with Super Sizing with fast food and drugs???  I took 45mg allegra when a full adult dose is 180! 45mg was plenty to do the trick and I did not feel as groggy this morning as I did when I've taken the whole or even half the pill.  Anxiety seems to be a little bit less than "typical" this morning. So we'll see how the rest of the day and week goes.

 

Hope all my buddies have a great week ahead

 

V

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More supersizing!  Went to three health stores/vitamin shops.  Tyrosine only came in 500mg despite my reading in one book to start with 100-200mg.  Finally found online a brand where 2 pills=500mg so I will start with 250mg of tyrosine and see if it helps at all with morning anxiety.  I might take it prior to breakfast or lunch.  It could be stimulating or it may have the opposite (calming effect) like ritalin does with some folks.  We'll see which reaction I have, hopefully the latter.  Will let y'all know.

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

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HI V

Glad you are feeling better!  Did you have this morning anxiety before benzos?  When you say morning anxiety is it that andrenaline cortisol morning rush we get when in w/d?  I am still feeling that a bit but a tiny sliver of what it was once.  I feel it about the time I wake up and believe it is my adrenals releasing cortisol so I can wake up.  I assume in my case since my endocrine system is out of whack I am getting a bit too much cortisol and feeling "funky".  Again it is small compared to what I had at times in my taper but it is the last remaining symptom I would like to see disappear.  It has been gone a few mornings but not consistent. 

 

Once it is gone for good I will believe I have crossed a major milestone.  In the meantime I really could not be happier to be where I am at almost 7 weelks free!

 

Hope the Tyrosine works!!

Mimi

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HI V

Glad you are feeling better!  Did you have this morning anxiety before benzos?  When you say morning anxiety is it that andrenaline cortisol morning rush we get when in w/d?  I am still feeling that a bit but a tiny sliver of what it was once.  I feel it about the time I wake up and believe it is my adrenals releasing cortisol so I can wake up.  I assume in my case since my endocrine system is out of whack I am getting a bit too much cortisol and feeling "funky".  Again it is small compared to what I had at times in my taper but it is the last remaining symptom I would like to see disappear.  It has been gone a few mornings but not consistent.  

Once it is gone for good I will believe I have crossed a major milestone.  In the meantime I really could not be happier to be where I am at almost 7 weelks free!

Hope the Tyrosine works!!

Mimi

 

Hi Mimi.  Yes, I had anxiety before benzos but it wasn't constant and in the mornings like an adrenalin or cortisol rush like now and in the last year at various levels.  I used to wake up pretty groggy and if anything, more towards blues sometimes. I used to need coffee or tea to wake up.  When I started low carb dieting and exercising more last Fall, I began waking up at 5AM and fully alert, not needing any coffee.  But after a couple hours and after breakfast, the low level restlessness persisted thru lunchtime, turning to fatigue after lunch or by 2PM. It's not a terrible taper type agitation, maybe 20% higher anxiety than pre benzos.  I can calm it down a bit with mindfulness and breathing but it tends to stick around.  There's also an element of apathy to it, a kind of lack of motivation at times to do the things I need to do in the morning.   It used to be much worse with the cog fog in the early months after taper, which has thankfully passed, over six months ago.   I don't think a small dose of an amino acid like tyrosine that naturally occurs in food will be harmful to try.  Will let you know how it turns out. Glad you are having minimal symptoms at nearly two months out.  The slow taper seems to have really done it's job .  

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

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Hi V - good luck on the Tyrosine - keep us posted on if it helps with your morning anxiety or not.  I am very interested as my anxiety doesn't seem to be letting go too much - although I was away for 3 days last week and had a couple of windows - no shaking, no anxiety - I felt like my old relaxed self.  It didn't last long, but oh my goodness, did it feel wonderful!  I might want to try the Tyrosine in the future - so I am very hopeful that it helps you.  Let us know.  Thinking of you

HOping2BFree

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I think most everyone has some degree of anxiety from time to time.  Some won't admit it.  I believe some of it is psychological/situational, but I also believe vitamin/mineral and hormone deficiencies cause anxiety.  When my thyroid went haywire due to autoimmune Hashimoto's thyroiditis,  I had the worst anxiety and insomnia I have ever felt, among a myriad of other symptoms.  It took several months for the doc to find my problem but once she did she put me on thyroid hormone replacement -  I felt a dark cloud lift within 2 days and my anxiety and insomnia went away quickly.  It was amazing.  If only there was a test where you could give a drop of blood and the computer would examine it and find all vitamin,mineral, hormone deficiencies in the body.  Then that report could be sent to another computer which would put together the recipe for the supplement you needed.  Then off to the compounding pharmacy.  Even if that could happen there is no profit incentive in that for the doctors, pharmaceuticals, etc...  One can dream...

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Nice dream.  As much as we trash doctors on this forum, human experience can be invaluable.  Take care.

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Hi V - good luck on the Tyrosine - keep us posted on if it helps with your morning anxiety or not.  I am very interested as my anxiety doesn't seem to be letting go too much - although I was away for 3 days last week and had a couple of windows - no shaking, no anxiety - I felt like my old relaxed self.  It didn't last long, but oh my goodness, did it feel wonderful!  I might want to try the Tyrosine in the future - so I am very hopeful that it helps you.  Let us know.  Thinking of you

HOping2BFree

 

Thanks H2BF.  I have decided to hold off on the L-Tyrosine until I return from my upcoming travel since I often get jet lag and my "clock" gets off. I don't anticipate the tyrosine causing sleep problems but I think I want to be home when I try a new supplement.  I read up more on it and I think it may be helpful based on my particular situation.   I will be interested to see if the tyrosine helps or whether it just boosts my adrenalin and makes me more anxious. I think it's gonna be 50/50 whether it calms or revs the CNS.  I'm willing to take the risk.  It does not appear to be a big deal to stop taking it if it did cause a spike in anxiety.   I wouldn't have taken supplements in the first six months, just want to say that.  However, after a year, I think it's ok to experiment a little bit to try and tweak my CNS and chemistry, maybe it'll help give a little boost.  ByBYMatrix has also recommended a super amino supplement to me that includes tyrosine among others.  I think I'll try the tyrosine by itself first.  Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to going out this evening to listen to some live music.  I may have a glass of wine or two.  At 16 months off, I think it's permitted .  

 

Cheers,

 

Vertigo

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Hi vert.

 

Were you hit by depression during your withdrawals?  and insomnia?

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Hi Wellness. I had mixed or oscillating blues and anxiety at various points after the taper.  It seems like more fatigue, tiredness and blues in those first months off the valium.  There was so much to do to take care of my elderly father when he was sick, during my last tapering and after the taper that I had little trouble sleeping.  My worst insomnia was when I tapered from 7 to 2mg from January to May 2009.  I may have had some bouts of insomnia last year but the insomnia was pretty much gone except when I travel out of state, I tend to get pretty bad jet lag and sleep troubles come back.  It seems the anxiety got worse last Fall after I started exercising more and losing all that weight. This past January, anxiety was particularly high after we got the new puppy and he was very sick so it kept me "ruminating" quite a bit, then it switched to some seasonal blues for a bit.     What are your primary symptoms now?

 

Best ,

 

Vertigo

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Nice dream.  As much as we trash doctors on this forum, human experience can be invaluable.  Take care.

Hi Wellness.  Yes, I've done my share of doctor trashing for sure.  You are right though - we still need the human experience.  We all need to find a caring, sharp doctor to help take care of us.  I was just thinking that it is so dumb when doctor's can't figure out what is wrong they start prescribing pills randomly.  I think before this they should rule out any vitamin/mineral or hormone deficiencies.  These can cause so many symptoms.    Either the docs don't run these types of blood tests because they wouldn't know what to do with them if a deficiency did show up  - or their hands are tied because it won't be covered by insurance. 

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17 months on April 12th last week .  Feeling pretty good, most days are 90-95%.  Just got back from some travelling, cross country flights, had a virus last month but finally over it... Will post more in the milestone 18th month, next month in May.  Hope all my buddies are doing well in their post taper experiences.  Wow, I just noticed this was my 4500th post .   I wonder if I'll make it to 5000 before I leave the forum?  

 

Vertigo

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Wow. 95%.  Thats fantastic.  Maybe by 18 months you will be better than you were before, 100+%.  It seems to me that when I heal I will be much wiser and appreciative after all I have been through.  I don't like to think about you leaving the forum as you have been so helpful!!    At the same time I know it is a joyous achievement to be able to leave.  I've found that I am spending less and less time on the forum as the weeks go by. 

[[Ma...]]

The blessed 18 month mark. Good for you, I'm so happy for you!!!

xx

m

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Hey buddies.  Just a note to say I've made it to 18 months .  It's been quite a journey but I'm happy to report that I have achieved my goals for healing.  I just posted a "success story" yesterday.  I hope that all you post tapering friends will continue to heal and never give up, even if it is more than six months since you took your last benzo.  I had a setback at 9 months and again at about 14 months.  I am living proof that one can heal in the 2nd year off .

 

Best wishes ,

 

Vertigo

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Ran into some insomnia this week, ironic that it would happen the week I posted a "success story" .   I was anxious about a few things. My mother in law has not been recuperating well from her  surgery last week,  which made it likely that my wife would have be out of town another week, more Mr Mom duty for yours truly .  Allergies have been bad this month and I might be getting another sinus thing.  It's pretty frustrating that I may have to go back to the ENT next week after being on antibiotics twice this year already . Well, this all goes to prove that even in the week that I posted a "success story" in terms of being off benzos and feeling "recovered", that life's problems and stresses don't just stop coming.  I have come a long way with stress management the last few years,  but I still have further to go with coping with stress and anxiety.  I always got sinus problems the last 30 years when stress was up and guess that continues today, 18 months off valium. There is no "ongoing state of perfect health".   Life is dynamic and constantly challenging us with problems to solve or difficult situations or people to deal with.   Some people get headaches, others have stomach problems or ulcers, some can't sleep...  I just wonder if there are folks out there who don't manifest stress physically???  

I tend to get sinus colds when I'm run down or stressed (emotionally).   I'm still sticking with my "success story" since what I'm experiencing today and this past week is no different than what I would have expected three years ago before I took that first valium. In some ways, I'm coping better, eating better, exercising and more aware on many levels.  That being said, being back to "where I was" before valium is not a problem free life and I did not expect that to be the case. I took valium for a reason, stress was getting to me and I tried to solve it at least partly with a pill.  That is one thing I won't ever do again.

 

Best ,

 

Vertigo

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Hi all -

 

A quick update from me at 2 years 4 months off...

 

My tinnitus is absolutely horrific. It got worse after I drank a bunch of wine while in Italy, then calmed down some, then ramped back up these last couple days after I spent a week in Jamaica drinking pina coladas and white wine.  I never had more than 3 drinks in one day (usually just 2), and felt only slightly buzzed during that time. The last day was our anniversary and I drank way more than I have in 2 years. I was fine at the time but now my tinnitus is really, really bad.  My hubby developed it after he quit drinking (after a very heavy, daily habit for 20+ years) so I'm hoping that as my body readjusts to being alcohol-free it will subside once again.

 

God I hope so.

 

My right eye continues to bug me and my cog fog is no better today than it was 2 years ago.  My memory is TERRIBLE. If I didn't have hubby to tell me what I should be doing or was in the middle of doing when my brain turned off, I don't think I'd be able to function.

 

Insomnia continues to plague me. It's a miracle I'm functioning at all, considering I average 4 hours/night!

 

I hope everyone is doing well -

 

ginger

 

PS - V, I responded to your post in your blog.

 

[[da...]]

hi,

 

just found this thread.

 

I am a little over 8 months benzo free. Wow. Amazing.

Yes I have tinnitus flaring up in my left ear. It is on and off.

Sometimes I think I am fine or going to be fine, other times I feel like I will never be able to function at a level I used to function at.

I do remember how horrible things were while using benzos.

I know this is the way.

 

thank you God for this forum and all of its members,

 

-Dan

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Hi Dan! So glad you found this thread! This is an excellent one to post to especially post taper! Hope everything is going well for you post benzo freedom and I look forward to more posts from you here!

Ginger, my memory has a tendency to be bad as well 15 months post taper. I don't get tinitus, fortunatley, but I still get some burning, tingling headaches that come on. There are times when they disappear for awhile and then I'll start getting a streak of them for a week or two intermittently. I never had them until inter-dose withdrawl from Klonopin occured in Nov 2008. Sorry to hear that insomnia is a problem for you... I had about a 2 month stretch of that back in Jan-Feb and it never seemed to want to end! Hope this symptom improves for you!

V, I would say that you said it well! I'll stick to my success story also since what I experience on a daily basis is no different than what I experienced pre-benzo, although I did have a hard relapse toward the end of last year. I have tried to grapple with what excactly went wrong. There seemed to be cumulative stress that just kept adding up. I think the final straw was when the young lady parishoner who has severe emotional problems called me from the county jail saying she needed a place to stay because she had another fight with her parents. The stress of her staying here in our house again for even 3 days was just too much and then there was the Holiday season when our choir felt obliged to keep donating money so that she could stay in a hotel. I have heard that she may be moving back in with her parents (they live just down the street) and my wife and I are remaining firm in not extending ourselves to her now or in the future.

For now, things have been quiet and I like it that way! We probably won't do much traveling this summer although we may go to Bremerton to visit my in-laws or to Wenatchee to see my wife's uncles' family.

Hope everyone else post benzo freedom is having a nice weekend and a very happy to week to you all!

 

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Hey Danman.  Good to see you post here on the "post benzo freedom" thread  .  Congrats on the 8 month mark .   I hope the tinnitus will subside for you with time.  I agree, it helps to focus on how much worse it was on benzos.  Never again, right?

 

Ginger, sorrry the tinnitus and insomnia has continued to linger for you as well.  I suppose it is what it is.  At least you're getting out and not letting it stop you from enjoying some travel.  I did have mild tinnitus at times but vertigo was the worst symptom I had about 3 weeks after my c/t back in 2008.  Well, keep keepin on.

 

Always good to see you post Pangelingua.  I agree, stick to your success story .  You tapered slowly and did what you could to assure yourself of a softer landing .  Of course there can be an unexpected wave under extradordinary stressful circumstances, but with each one, I find a building sense of confidence that I can handle whatever comes next.  I hope you will find the same.  Good for you for reaching out to help a member of the church but also for setting a boundary once you felt you did what you could and realized it might be too much to continue in the future.  Your own health and that of your family must also be considered.

 

Enjoy the summer (at least it's benzo free and counting...),

 

Vertigo

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Hi All,

 

A couple of things that help me is to remember to be very kind to myself and patient with myself in the morning.

 

Thought are not facts...

calm..focus...

 

 

Yee ha!

 

-Dan

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Hi All,

A couple of things that help me is to remember to be very kind to myself and patient with myself in the morning.

-Dan

 

Amen to that

[[Ma...]]

Hey Verti, hey everyone.

Well, I'm nearly at the 13 months mark but you know, I pretty much c/td the last 3 mgs (down 2 in 3 weeks, 4 weeks for the last 1... pretty fast) and maybe that's why I'm still delicate but it gets better, I know it does. I'm in that tiny percentage that has some trouble.... though come to think of it, it's too soon to tell really right? 18 months before you really have a clue and even then, it's really 2 years isn't it? Summer's coming again and I'm going to try, a year after the first failed attempt, to lose the 10 pounds I gained after wd (well, I lost 5 but started working out so... who knows). Anyway, I'm going to try. 13 months. There have been some very stressful times, that hasn't helped and I know that dieting can be stressful to the body (does that count?) anyway, last year was too soon... well, we'll see, I won't go beyond where I feel I can. Still, it would be nice. Who knows, maybe the worst it over(knock knock knock on wood). I will say about my wd doc, he was right on the money, at least for me. He always said that it took two years minimum to heal, no matter who you were, that the first year seemed to focus mainly on the physical and the second year was more emotional. I know that for me, this is true. I have anxiety now which is something I've never had before. I was put on the drug for insomnia following a stalking incident, not anxiety so, this is all new and nasty! Even had another bout of Vertigo the other day (and V, you know how crazy making that is). Ah well. I think it's getting better ever so slowly. I'm pretty sure I've hit bottom and it's not even that bad (knock knock knock!! I'm getting very superstitious).

All the best to all of us.

Thanks for all your support everyone. We'll get there!!

m