Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[Re...]]

What an amazing post, Vertigo.

 

Sharon Salzburg has written a new book, "Real Happiness" and in it she discusses a concept that really hit home w/ me and touches on something you said here.  She said that being present to the moment, mindfullness, allows us to experience pain - know it's there, handle it - but not necessarily translate it into suffering.  That the suffering aspect of it is what breaks our hearts and wears us down.  I personally was moved by that concept as I grew up with family that LOVED the suffering.  It's a very sad legacy and a hard one to stop doing, but important to try to change.  My efforts to do so have done nothing but benefit me recently. 

 

I understand where you are coming from on slowly moving away from the buddies.  When we are well, we leave the hospital.  That doesn't mean you don't honor and appreciate that that hospital and it's staff may have saved your life!   

 

 

[[ve...]]

What an amazing post, Vertigo. Sharon Salzburg has written a new book, "Real Happiness" and in it she discusses a concept that really hit home w/ me and touches on something you said here.  She said that being present to the moment, mindfullness, allows us to experience pain - know it's there, handle it - but not necessarily translate it into suffering.  That the suffering aspect of it is what breaks our hearts and wears us down.   I personally was moved by that concept as I grew up with family that LOVED the suffering.  It's a very sad legacy and a hard one to stop doing, but important to try to change.  My efforts to do so have done nothing but benefit me recently.  

I understand where you are coming from on slowly moving away from the buddies.  When we are well, we leave the hospital.  That doesn't mean you don't honor and appreciate that that hospital and it's staff may have saved your life!    

 

Thanks RTBW.  Appreciate the book review too . I'll check it out after I finish the 15 books on my nightstand that have been gathering dust .  Now that's frustration and pain .  Guess my post benzo brain ain't as fast with the speed reading.  Maybe I'm savoring my books more mindfully now .  Sorry you have some experience with suffering in childhood.  We can exchange dysfunctional war stories some time .  Serioiusly though, I'm looking forward to better days ahead.  I'll still be around for a while longer.

 

Hey TC.  

for all you do here.  You deserve an award for top winning chief assistant modulator RAWR and Booya .  *as he strides back into the bedroom in his pajamas*

 

Cheers,

 

V

[[...]]

V,

 

Thank you for the kind words sir. You know having Guitar Bob as the chief modulator is a tough gig, as he often shows up for work late, and then leaves early. He is a taskmaster for sure, but as long as he sends me that one dollar a week paycheck, it is all good.

 

I have the same problem with books stacking up on my nightstand. I generally go to the library check out 3 or 4, then only read one of them. I am not quite motivated yet. Perhaps, it is those late nights watching Charlie SHeen tv...I may have to taper off of that.

 

TC

[[ve...]]

Perhaps, it is those late nights watching Charlie SHeen tv...I may have to taper off of that.

TC

 

.  I'd stick with the Sirius tunes and c/t Sheen, the only c/t I recommend these days!

 

V

[[we...]]

I was so grateful to be able to read after months of not being able to, that I too, now have a stack of unread books.  I keep a really boring one by the bed, I don't dare read a good one just before going to bed.

[[Ma...]]

Yes yes, the stack of books, such good intentions, the waste of what was once a perfectly good mind. My vocabulary has become lamentable! So I challenge myself. I buy big books, heavy books (and not just by weight) and then I don't read a single one of them. THere's a stack two feet high I kid you not. Someday soon, someday soon...

 

Oh, and I was feeling so awful I had a glass of wine last night. Didn't make things any better or any worse. Nothing really does, just plodding along, plodding along.

m

[[ve...]]

Too funny Wellness, TC and Marina.  I think I must be Amazon's best customer!  I wish I had patience for the library.  More often I'll be in an ocd anxious mood and start ordering more books than I know what to do with.  At least I know I'll never be bored in my old age .  Good idea Wellness to save the really boring ones for before bed .

 

V

[[Ho...]]

Glad to see that other people have stacks of books to be read and haven't gotten to it.  I have not been able to read for the last two months - I don't know why - I just can't focus or just don't care - my mind  is so fraught with worries about not getting well - and some other things too.

Vertigo - I wish you well whenever you choose to depart from us - you deserve it - you have been most helpful to me and to many others, I am sure.  You always tried to find an answer for all of us.  I really do appreciate you. 

Love Hoping2BFree

[[ve...]]

Glad to see that other people have stacks of books to be read and haven't gotten to it.  I have not been able to read for the last two months - I don't know why - I just can't focus or just don't care - my mind  is so fraught with worries about not getting well - and some other things too.

Vertigo - I wish you well whenever you choose to depart from us - you deserve it - you have been most helpful to me and to many others, I am sure.  You always tried to find an answer for all of us.  I really do appreciate you.  

Love Hoping2BFree

 

Thank you for your kind words H2BF.  It means a lot.  I hope to still be around a little while but also need to balance the needs of my family and trying to eventually step back from daily benzo thoughts.  Wouldn't that be nice to wake up and not think about some benzo thing or symptom?  

 

Thoughts and prayers go out to the Japanese people who have suffered and lost so much.

 

Spring Forward!!!

 

 

Vertigo

[[st...]]

Verti, I didnt get to say goodbye.  Oh puzzlewit.

[[st...]]

Perhaps, it is those late nights watching Charlie SHeen tv...I may have to taper off of that.

TC

 

.  I'd stick with the Sirius tunes and c/t Sheen, the only c/t I recommend these days!

 

V

But yes, like TC said, I want some of that there drug tiger blood, lol

[[ve...]]

Verti, I didnt get to say goodbye.  Oh puzzlewit.

 

Hey Poppy.  Don't be such a nimrod :pokey: I'm not leaving just yet.  I still plan to torture you and a few other benzobuddies with my long ramblings for a little while longer .

 

Best ,

 

V

[[...]]

 

I tried to C/t Charlie Sheen..it can't be done..he is everywhere..hahah

 

 

TC

[[ve...]]

 

I tried to C/t Charlie Sheen..it can't be done..he is everywhere..hahah

TC

 

You might need an a/d.  Most docs would probably agree that he's a figment of your imagination

Or maybe he's a figment of his imagination.  Well, one of you needs something.  CBS had no problem doing a c/t .

 

V

[[gi...]]

 

I tried to C/t Charlie Sheen..it can't be done..he is everywhere..hahah

 

 

TC

 

My father in law posted on FB that he thought Gadhafi is the only person on the planet that's benefiting from Japan's disaster b/c now all eyes are off him. I wrote back, "you forgot Charlie Sheen".

[[ve...]]

 

I tried to C/t Charlie Sheen..it can't be done..he is everywhere..hahah

TC

My father in law posted on FB that he thought Gadhafi is the only person on the planet that's benefiting from Japan's disaster b/c now all eyes are off him. I wrote back, "you forgot Charlie Sheen".

 

Gadhafi is a "winner" from the earthquake/tsunami in Japan  .  Sad to say but the American public may benefit from lower oil prices to have a stable dictator than uncertainy and unknown new government by the people.  I'm not rooting for the dictator but that is one harsh possible reality.  In fact, either way, OPEC will find a way to boost prices to line their pockets...

 

 

V

[[gi...]]

Gadahfi is benefiting from the disaster b/c all eyes are on Japan right now and not on him. That's why I said Charlie is probably grateful for the diversion as well!

 

I'm surprised the oil companies haven't raised the prices even more since the disaster. Their excuse would be that now that Japan doesn't have nuclear energy they're going to need more oil, so therefore more needs to be produced.

 

I know...wait for it... it's bound to happen!

 

I hope everyone's been well -

 

ginger

[[ve...]]

Gadahfi is benefiting from the disaster b/c all eyes are on Japan right now and not on him. That's why I said Charlie is probably grateful for the diversion as well!

I'm surprised the oil companies haven't raised the prices even more since the disaster. Their excuse would be that now that Japan doesn't have nuclear energy they're going to need more oil, so therefore more needs to be produced.

I know...wait for it... it's bound to happen!

 

I hope everyone's been well -

ginger

 

Markets will get hit today as B of J sells off assets to generate liquidity.  I agree that with less nuclear plant building, demand for crude goes up and thus prices too :'(.  If only we could find a way to have demand for benzos go down!

 

V

[[gi...]]

 

.  If only we could find a way to have demand for benzos go down!

 

V

 

AMEN!

[[...]]

 

I too..as suprised they haven't used this excuse for oil prices to rise yet again...

 

Quite a few economnists are saying they think the price will go down based on less demand....at least initially after the Earthquake..but something tells me....the oil prices have more to do with oil futures than supply and demand

 

TC

[[ve...]]

The ides of March.  Allergies are in full bloom here. I still have a sinus thing winding down. Have about four days left of an antibiotic.  

 

I'm thinking about trying L-Tyrosine.  It's an amino acid which seems to impact dopamine.  I'm inclined to try something to get this morning anxiety in check. Sleep is pretty good.  I have a new theory that the anxiety, stress and insomnia back in 2008 when I first took valium may have been a dopamine shortage to begin with. L-tyrosine helps with dopamine and stress, supposedly.    I've always tried to be proactive.  I did the exercise and lost the weight last Fall but it's apparently not enough.   So I think it's time to explore a few supplements.  I don't think I'll take an a/d but I am willing to try a few precursors to neurotransmitters.

 

Have a great weekend,

 

Vertigo

 

[[pa...]]

Hi all!

It's been some time since I put in a response here so I thought I'd weigh in today.

I seem to be doing better than the last 2 months. Sleep has improved. Probably still not completetly back to normal levels, but at least it's more consistant than it had been.

I had an injury to my lower back about 2 1/2 weeks ago and I've been recovering from that. This is my 2nd injury like this in the last 6 months. The first one was pulling an abdomen muscle back in Sept. Does anyone know if benzo recovery makes one more prone to injury, or is this just old age creeping up on me?!!

This latest injury has turned out to be a mislalligned pelvis. The physical therapist that I'm seeing has taken measurments and I was informed yesterday that the left side of my pelvic bone was slighty lower than the right and this is most likely the cause of the painful back that I've been experiencing. I've been taking vicodin the last week or so and I must say that when I started taking it, I had much reservation about becoming dependant on another med. Fortunatley, my back soarness has greatly improved; I was able to wean off the vicodin, and it looks as though I'm going to recover from this with flying colors!

I was suffering from a prolonged bout of anxiety as last year came to a close followed up by a severe depression and finally a nasty bout of chronic insomnia. I made the decision to go back to a low dose of the A/D that I had been taking (remeron) and this seems to have done the trick. I have to be carefull with this med as my CNS only seems to tolerate a slim margine of a dosage, something that has baffled my doctors who say that I've never been on a theraputic dosage and therefore should not be reacting this way to the med. I have found that when you are taking meds of this sort YOU really become your own doctor and as far as any statistics that are given to you about what a medicine "should or shouldn't do" really have to be disregarded in favor of how it affects you personably. This is something that in my experience, the medical community is completely unenlightened about.

In the meantime, I continue to do well on a very low dosage of this med and I'm going to continue this way until the day comes that I feel ready to taper again.

Hope all of you are doing well as well, and I wish everyone a great weekend!

[[ve...]]

Thanks for the update Pangelingua.  Glad that you're sleeping again and that the back pain is under control.  Some folks just need a little longer before they can taper off an a/d and some may need to be on it a while, even if only a low dose.  I'm finding that I don't need a full adult dose of allegra to combat seasonal allergies.  Just 1/4 of the pill seems to be enough so that i am not so groggy the next morning.  The main thing is you are off benzos and are not going back.  Glad you were able to taper off the vicodin as well.  Those can be quite addictive too, from what I've read.  Well, hope you enjoy your weekend and wishing you ongoing healing in the coming months ahead.

 

Vertigo

[[sa...]]

Vert,

 

sorry you are still dealing with a sinus infection and antibiotics.  As far as supplements you know just to add one at a time.  Do you take magnesium citrate?  It's the only one I can tolerate.  I know we keep drawing  straws hoping something will help.  I hope you find one that helps soon. 

 

Sara

 

[[ve...]]

Thanks Sara. Yes, I would only add Tyrosine and nothing else except what I've been taking if you can call them supplements (magnesium with D and Calcium, coQ10 with my statin med, multivitamin, fish oil, chromium, sometimes a little extra C like when I've got a virus like now...).  I'll wait a few days and then try the tyrosine.  I may look into some other amino acids eventually.  ByBYMatrix has said he uses a general amino acid formula. I will hold off on that for now and just give tyrosine a try this around midweek after I finish the antibiotics.

 

Vertigo