Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[re...]]

i suffer badly from burning skin on my arms but the thing i hate the most is the spaced out de-realisation. Damn.

I'm considering, after talking to a pdoc, starting an ADP since before benzos i had need of them from time to time.

he was pretty good; he said by now it should be improving a little after tapering, not worsening and that i probably needed some assistance in the neurotransmitter area.

If i didn't have GERD this would be easier too. Co morbid sucks.

 

I'll see if the symptoms go down over the next week although this morning was poor, i got a tiny not sx free window and !!! :thumbsup:went to the mall!!!, perhaps one more week since its only been 8 or 9 days. i hope to avoid going on any more benzos, but if my pdoc supports it, might cross to valium depending on my functionality.

the pdoc promised some action, a scrip, yesterday but it hasn't shown i assume they are actually doing the research and pulling my old history also i faxed some pages from the Ashton manual to them early today with the note on it saying "i believe i am still in withdrawal, please help me" printed on it. hope the brit pdoc sees it.

also my regular doc, when phoned by the pharmacist, approved renewing both clonazepam and valium although he seems to regard Valium as the most awful drug, (but we know its clonazepam). he trusts me i guess; i always am straight up and told him i used some valium for w/d rather than muscle pain. encouraging.

Also it means that i will have enough, if i choose to go back, to cross over and do the Ashton slow taper myself. When i tapered clonazepam, the day i called him for support he went for an operation.

so i did it by reading and this group.  and hid on the LR couch for 6 weeks.

gotta see GI spec. tomorrow.

[[ve...]]

Have a great weekend buddies

 

Best,

 

Vertigo (and wintry weather no more )

[[ve...]]

i suffer badly from burning skin on my arms but the thing i hate the most is the spaced out de-realisation. Damn.

I'm considering, after talking to a pdoc, starting an ADP since before benzos i had need of them from time to time.

he was pretty good; he said by now it should be improving a little after tapering, not worsening and that i probably needed some assistance in the neurotransmitter area.

If i didn't have GERD this would be easier too. Co morbid sucks.

 

I'll see if the symptoms go down over the next week although this morning was poor, i got a tiny not sx free window and !!! :thumbsup:went to the mall!!!, perhaps one more week since its only been 8 or 9 days. i hope to avoid going on any more benzos, but if my pdoc supports it, might cross to valium depending on my functionality.

the pdoc promised some action, a scrip, yesterday but it hasn't shown i assume they are actually doing the research and pulling my old history also i faxed some pages from the Ashton manual to them early today with the note on it saying "i believe i am still in withdrawal, please help me" printed on it. hope the brit pdoc sees it.

also my regular doc, when phoned by the pharmacist, approved renewing both clonazepam and valium although he seems to regard Valium as the most awful drug, (but we know its clonazepam). he trusts me i guess; i always am straight up and told him i used some valium for w/d rather than muscle pain. encouraging.

Also it means that i will have enough, if i choose to go back, to cross over and do the Ashton slow taper myself. When i tapered clonazepam, the day i called him for support he went for an operation.

so i did it by reading and this group.  and hid on the LR couch for 6 weeks.

gotta see GI spec. tomorrow.

 

Hi Regaudio. Hope your meeting with the GI specialist went well.  Were any tests done?

 

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[re...]]

they want to do an endoscopy with an iv benzo and i'm concerned about that.

[[gi...]]

they want to do an endoscopy with an iv benzo and i'm concerned about that.

 

See if you can get them to give you ether instead. I'd be concerned about the IV.

[[ve...]]

Anyone had propofol for colonoscopy? 

 

V

[[Sw...]]

Yes V.  I  had propofol.  I was in the last part of my tapering at the time and I was quite a mess.  I don't recall any side effects from the propofol.

[[ve...]]

Thanks SweetP. BTW, I responded to your query about depression over on my blog. Hope you're having a good day today.

 

We're off to the dog park,

 

V

[[...]]

 

Hello friends..

 

I just did a pretty extensive update on my blog....as I am now 7 months and 3 weeks off of the nasty Klonopin. I will be celebrating 8 months off that junk at the end of the month. Yay!

 

Here are the current symptoms that are constant.....none.

 

My sleep is much improved, as I am sleeping about 7 hours on average. I still have the occasional night where I can't fall asleep due to sleep starts. At one point, I'd have these all night long, every night, for weeks and weeks and weeks. I now will get them maybe once a week on average, or once every two weeks.

 

The only other thing I have going on is....my CNS Is still off a bit. I still get the random little zap or inner viberation. Just frequent enough to let me know, hey buddie, you aren't out of the woods at this point. This mainly is in the head/face area. The rest of my body seems pretty close to healed, I guess if I could get the face/head stuff to go from 90 percent fixed to 100 percent fixed, I'd be almost as good as new.

 

I know this stuff can turn at any time, so I try to just stay in the moment and hope that it continues to be good. I have stated this on my blog and on this thread quite a few times. I am extra cautious in declaring any type of healing, as I have to feel a certain way for a good period of time before I will even blog about it. I see too many people being "healed" at a couple weeks off. I know it doesn't normally work like that. I think you all know what I mean. I did visit another forum that I was briefly a member of up until maybe a year ago and I saw many people who were really struggling a year ago are now either healed or close to healed. This gave me a lot of hope that we all heal, even the hardest of the hard cases, in time.

 

Ok. that was pretty long for a brief update...but I don't do this very often...heheh

 

I hope you all are well..and I wish you all continued healing...

 

Thank you very much for all of your support...

 

TC

[[ve...]]

 

...Here are the current symptoms that are constant.....none...

TC

 

.  That's awesome news TC.   You've come a long way.  No doubt your update will be very inspiring to folks who are still struggling.  I posted to you on your blog as well.

 

I know what you mean about the CNS being just a little off.  I think we've all become experts in our own CNS, maybe even hyperalert (at least in my case). Part of healing for me the last month or two has been trying to let go and surrender to some of the little annoying remnants like the occasional nerve tingling from where I had Shingles or the occasional intrusive thought or whatever.  It seems like that last hurdle is more about acceptance than demanding "perfect healing" (not saying that you are ).  In general terms, life is ultimately full of ups and downs.  Our health can be fragile and we are all fallible.  Even that elusive 100% is a concept that is an estimate of human health, which ultimately is always going to be unpredictable and perfectly imperfect.  

 

Best,

 

V

[[gi...]]

 

 

 

 

Here are the current symptoms that are constant.....none.

 

 

 

:yippee:  

[[gi...]]

I didn't have it for a colonoscopy, but I had propofel for my knee surgery. That, plus the new types of ether, are harmless to us.

[[Ma...]]

Hi guys! Just checking in with my update of my week at work on my 10 month anniversary!!

 

It went fine, great in fact, but the stress was outrageous and my poor little brain starting shorting in the most outrageous ways. Like I was so intensely ADD in moments, just moments/ I'd get transported by an idea and completely forget what was going on around me! Or an idea would wander into my head in the middle of a conversation and I'd lose the thread of what was really going on and continue with what was in my head. That was scary and hard to explain. Then yesterday I was staring right at my friend's computer screen as she typed something into her address book and thought we were looking it up on google because we'd been on google a moment before and I didn't make the transition, or forgot it.... weird spooky stuff like that. I can still drive and perform the functions needed at work, but I'm getting more than a few sidelong glances I wish I could explain with " I'm not really this stupid, I swear!!!".

Anyway, that's where I am at 10 months, still exhausted, still full of sxs, but better than where I was 3 weeks ago after the protein bar incident. I'll elaborate more on my blog. Anyway, all the best to everyone.

m

[[ve...]]

Hi guys! Just checking in with my update of my week at work on my 10 month anniversary!!

It went fine, great in fact, but the stress was outrageous and my poor little brain starting shorting in the most outrageous ways. Like I was so intensely ADD in moments, just moments/ I'd get transported by an idea and completely forget what was going on around me! Or an idea would wander into my head in the middle of a conversation and I'd lose the thread of what was really going on and continue with what was in my head. That was scary and hard to explain. Then yesterday I was staring right at my friend's computer screen as she typed something into her address book and thought we were looking it up on google because we'd been on google a moment before and I didn't make the transition, or forgot it.... weird spooky stuff like that. I can still drive and perform the functions needed at work, but I'm getting more than a few sidelong glances I wish I could explain with " I'm not really this stupid, I swear!!!". Anyway, that's where I am at 10 months, still exhausted, still full of sxs, but better than where I was 3 weeks ago after the protein bar incident. I'll elaborate more on my blog. Anyway, all the best to everyone.

m

 

Thanks for the 10 month update Marina.  It sounds like you're doing relatively well despite some ongoing symptoms.   I can relate to having some mind blocks and brain farts from time to time.  It's all par for the course.  You're not stupid, just human.

 

Take care,

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[Ma...]]

THanks Verti, but you know, regular civilians don't get quite as mentally gassy as we all do. It's nice to have someone understand. Though I talked to a friend of mine today, she's a shrink, and she said it's called "fusing" when the stress level is so high you can't tell the difference what's inside and outside your head. It's a normal reaction to extreme stress. It's just for us, extreme stress can be as simple as taking out the garbage in the snow, well, not quite, but you know what I mean. Thanks for the camaraderie. All the best to you my friend.

xxm

[[ve...]]

Hey Marina.  It sometimes does seem like it's just us benzo warriors going through the ebbs and flows of painful experiences, but I've been realizing gradually that it's really a continuum and that so called "normal" folks are walking around with quite a bit of pain and suffering as well.  Maybe that's part of the lesson we all may need to learn before ultimate "healing" or feeling "100%" or "back to normal".  Perhaps "normal" does not equate with a notion or even illusion of having no problems, no brain farts, no memory lapses, no ups and downs... This is something that I've been pondering the last day or two. I understand there are degrees and that qualitatively some of the benzo withdrawal symptoms may feel more intense at times, but it may be worth re-looking at how one defines "normal".

 

Best,

 

Vertigo

[[...]]

V,

 

I hear you man. This has been a long, long road back. Hopefully, there are not another 100101010 miles to go. Ok, I know it hasn't been that long, but sure feels that way.

 

TC

[[...]]

Ginger,

 

Now I have to focus on wishing the sporadic stuff away.

 

I am never satisfied.

 

TC

[[ve...]]

V,I hear you man. This has been a long, long road back. Hopefully, there are not another 100101010 miles to go. Ok, I know it hasn't been that long, but sure feels that way.

TC

 

 

500 Miles Lyrics:

If you miss the train I'm on,

You will know that I am gone.

You can hear the whistle blow,

A hundred miles.

A hundred miles, a hundred miles,

A hundred miles, a hundred miles,

You can hear the whistle blow,

A hundred miles.

 

Lord, I'm one, Lord I'm two,

Lord, I'm three, Lord I'm four,

Lord, I'm 500 miles,

From my home.

500 miles, 500 miles,

500 miles, 500 miles

Lord, I'm 500 miles,

From my home.

 

Not a shirt on my back,

Not a penny to my name.

Lord, I can't go a-home,

This a-way.

This a-away, this a-way,

This a-way, this a-way,

Lord, I can't go a-home,

This a-way.

 

If you miss the train I'm on,

You will know that I am gone.

You can hear the whistle blow,

A hundred miles.

 

 

 

 

[[BY...]]

Miles and time....we sure put in our share of both.

 

 

 

Who can say where the road goes,

Where the day flows?

Only time...

 

And who can say if your love grows,

As your heart chose?

Only time...

 

 

Who can say why your heart sighs,

As your love flies?

Only time...

 

And who can say why your heart cries,

When your love lies

Only time...

 

 

Who can say when the roads meet,

That love might be,

In your heart.

 

And who can say when the day sleeps,

If the night keeps all your heart?

Night keeps all your heart...

 

 

Who can say if your love grows,

As your heart chose?

Only time...

 

And who can say where the road goes,

Where the day flows?

Only time...

 

Who knows?

Only time...

 

Who knows?

Only time...

 

[[ve...]]

Happy Weekend and "good times" to all post benzo buddies as well as tapering buddies

 

V

[[gi...]]

back atcha! 

[[ca...]]

Right back at ya! Have a lovely weekend everyone 

[[mt...]]

I am thrilled to be "officially" joining the post benzo thread!  On Friday I will be a month free.  So far I have been feeling pretty well.  I have some early morning adrenaline but it is a sliver of what it used to be.  I find I am able to do more and have been cleaning and rearranging my furniture etc!  So the extreme fatigue is lifting and it feels so wonderful to be on the way back to my old self.  I did catch a cold which began on sunday with a sore throat and a dry cough that hurt.  I have been drinking lots of tea and some sucking on some cherry cough drops that really help.  Today most of the sore throat is gone and my cough is loose and I feel more like I have a cold.  Its been 2 years since I have had a cold or illness other than w/d symptoms.  I attribute this to the fact that I never left the house or spent time with other people so never caught anything.  Now that am out and about I am exposed to germs and viruses.  Guess that's the good and bad news....Anyway its a good sign to feel better that next day...guess my old immune system is kicking in.

 

I sure am looking forward to spring and having more sun which always makes me feel hopeful and re energized!

Best wishes to all

Mimi

[[gi...]]

Congratulations Mimi, and welcome to the rest of your life!!