6-12 month thread....

[[...]]

Lisa and Coop, I sure hope you get relief soon!! I want this SO badly for you!!

 

Peace, I feel better when I don't eat, which is opposite of what many on here say...leave it to me to be the odd person!! 

[[pe...]]

Lisa- I think I'm still in a wave, maybe coming out, maybe the fasting is helping. How is that for uncertainty?!?!

 

My depression has gotten better overall as time passes, but it does like to hang around. I think it's a fairly common and totally awful side effect. I am so intrigued that both a neurologist and psychiatrist have told me to live with it and let my brain heal in the absence of meds. It's not what I was expecting to hear. So, I live with it but if things are treacherous, I'll take something. So far, distraction is key.

 

I hope you feel better soon, Lisa.

[[Fr...]]

Thanks Peace - I think it's amazing that you found both a psychiatrist and neurologist who agree this could be wd.  The psych doc I was seeing who had switched me to taking the valium in the day wouldn't even consider it.  He was the one who said I needed a kid lock on my computer.

 

It sounds like the depression symptom is losing steam - I'm so happy that is is lessening for you.  It is an awful one.

 

Do you think the depression goes hand in hand with your cns being overactive?  I ask this because I still feel as of my brain is too full and that is what causes the head (mental) symptoms.  I wonder is when the CNS acts up it creates almost an inflammatory-type thing in the brain minus actual inflammation.  That probably makes no sense at all.

 

Keep feeling better and I will keep trying also.

 

Lisa

[[je...]]

Peace-- there is a fasting thread where a lot of members have found major relief from doing it once a week. I would love to try it, but I have blood sugar issues so I can't do it. I hope you get some relief, let us know how it goes.

[[Fr...]]

Thanks GMIT.

 

I hope you're feeling better Jenny.

 

Lisa

[[je...]]

Thank you Lisa, sadly I'm not...  

[[Co...]]

Jenny...prayer sent...I am thinking of you and sorry that you are caught in that ' trapped inside a body of s/x ' limbo...it is so awful.. I hope you have a sunbreak soon. ...This is such a long journey...I have waves in which it feels as though time has stopped...or its like Groundhog 's Day...the same s/x day after day. ...A window is going to open for you Jenny...I hope it is tomorrow. ....coop

 

[[li...]]

I was reading all these posts about both psychs and MD's and how they do not believe in w/d. Is there any doubt why the deny protracted w/d symptoms? Think about it... "Yes, I prescribed this pill to you and yes I knew that it could potentially cause brain damage. But I have to deny it because my insurance company says I can get sued. Can you please sue me?!!" There is no way that any psych or Md. that prescribed poison would ever admit that they knew it was poison.

 

I am sure that their expensive weekend seminars on "defensive medicine" says to "Deny, Deny, Deny! any knowledge!"

 

Life

[[je...]]

Very true life!!

Coop- thank you so much 

[[Ko...]]

Hi fellow sufferers,

I'm reporting in because I finally feel well enough to do so. I've been going through some tough waves.  It seems to me that they are more intense than before, but they only last for 8 to 12 hrs.

Last night my side effects started appearing and would last about a half hour and then stop. This went on all evening..very strange. Good sign or not, who knows.  Insomnia is still a problem for me but only between midnight and 6 am.  I can sleep in the morning and throughout the day, which I do. There's only been a couple of days in the past 2 weeks that I couldn't sleep at all.  I can't say I'm getting better, but it feels like it today.

 

I was reading a paper by Dr Ashton where she said only 10 to 15% continue to have symptoms 2 months out.  Longer than that were considered protracted, but usually get better in a year. If that is true, know wonder we are not getting any attention.  There definitely needs to be more research.

 

Finally, my heart goes out to each of you. We are on a tough road and I thank each if you for your kind words that make it easier to keep moving forward.  I wish you all many windows soon.

 

 

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... 1:00 AM here ...

 

Peace ... "You cant ' talk. ' yourself into it...it just happens bit by bit that you begin to feel more reassured." 

 

Lisa ... "when the CNS acts up it creates almost an inflammatory-type thing in the brain minus actual inflammation." 

 

I believe this ... I can't explain either one ... they just "feel" very right ...

 

I ended up with a very "active" afternoon and shut down at 5:30 PM ... slept 6 hours ... I am finding I "want" to sleep more and more, rather than not caring if I sleep or not ... any change "feels" better ... and I am feeling "depressed" lately ... I am trying not to "worry" about how long this takes ... and that doesn't stop me ...

 

Korbe ... good to hear from you ... please try not to worry about "numbers" ... I believe I am not a "statistic" ... I am a wonderfully unique person who has accomplished so much in the last four years ... I "know" I am feeling and getting better since I started freeing myself from the drug ... and I am still suffering ... and this will take more time than I "wish" it would ...

 

Take care Folks ... another day is here on the Atlantic coast ... blessings and "fair weather" for us all ...

[[No...]]

Jenny ... 

[[dr...]]

Ashton mentions acute can last up to two months. I don't recall being healed at two months.  Regardless...this is where we are at. Slowly trying to get our lives back.

[[...]]

Aahhh! So true Drew! I hope you are well!

 

Good morning Nova! You sound like you've had a bit of improvement! I'm hoping it just continues!!

 

[[No...]]

Good Morning ... again ... went back and got another couple of hours sleep ... our rainy - foggy - thickie weather lifted overnight ... they are saying a week of sunshine ...

 

GMIT ... hope you got the rest you needed ...

 

Another day ... a little closer ...

 

[[Fr...]]

Welcome Korbe - it sounds like you're feeling better:)

 

GMIT and NOVA, I'm happy that you're getting better sleep.

 

NOVA - I'm sorry about the depression - it sounds like many here are having that right now, me included.

 

My pattern of one day good, one bad has left for now.  This latest wave is so uncomfortable - bad anxiety and depression and no breaks thus far.  I wake up feeling anxious and very down.  My head feels awful and strange.  I feel a strange internal chemical sensation.  So tired of all this and getting hopeless with no breaks.

 

Feel better everyone,

Lisa

[[...]]

Hi Nova and Lisa!

 

I sure hope you're better soon!!

 

I fell asleep on the couch and got a couple more hours of sleep, so I'm feeling good right now!! Had a couple of negative thoughts before I fell asleep and was able to immediately talk myself out of them!!

 

Be well!

 

:smitten:

[[No...]]

I am with on this one today Lisa ... was out and about for 3 hours, and walk and some chores ... dragged my anxious behind home ...

 

GMIT ... glad you got another couple of hours ...

 

Gonna vegetate and pretend to "work" for 4 hours ...

 

Cheers.

[[...]]

Be well Nova!! Relief, relief, relief!!!

 

[[Co...]]

Lisa and Nova...we are all riding the same wave...hold on to your. ' boogie. ' boards.. We will ride

ride it to the shore.....Cycling cycling ...yesterday lots of depression and d/ r d/p....this morning depression better after getting up.  But...woke up at 330 with cortisol surges and anxiety..elevated b/p and mild intrusive thoughts.. a few hours of being back in acute...Things have improved moderately now by 7am....head pressure is on and off as opposed to constant...I am calling that improvement and am so grateful for it. ....

....I checked out River 's Benzo Loneliness group....some very good stuff there...loneliness and depression seem to overlap and sing a similar song...helpful perspectives there. 

.  ..Thinking of all of you this morning...wishing all of us some sun through wide open windows and forever healing..  .off to take the dog out...love to all.....coop

 

 

[[dr...]]

I woke up w a cortisol surge at 3am too!  It's now a bit past 7 and I'm just waiting for my morning yuck symptoms to pass.  It always does but while it's going on I just repeat to myself " just wait it out...it will pass...it always does".  I hate waking up exhausted. It's exhausting day after day. 

 

I did have a good performance last night which I felt really good during. Being on stage is the best distraction for me. 

 

I'm going to meditate and wait for the yucks to pass.  Hope everyone gets some relief.

 

Drew

[[Mo...]]

Kids, I'm in the last day of my vacation and big time symptomatic.  Please send me good vibes and words of encouragement.  Please send me good words.

 

Have to go out on a boat.  Will check in later. 

 

MommyR

[[Mo...]]

Drew,

Same thing happened to me!!  Lord, Lord.. So unpleasant. Laid in bed until 9am pushing thru.  So yucky so yucky.  Want to cry but I won't.  It freaks my kids out.  Husband out the 'Happy' song on.  Trying to shake it.

[[Mo...]]

So frustrating.  It's like living with an abusive person who let's you think everything is normal and then they sneak in and hog tie you.  This drug is pure evil.  How can doctors be allowed to get away with this. 

 

I swear if I ever come into money I will do something for this cause.  Make a documentary for awareness or give scholarships to people like us to be trained to counsel others in this situation. 

[[li...]]

Hi fellow sufferers,

I'm reporting in because I finally feel well enough to do so. I've been going through some tough waves.  It seems to me that they are more intense than before, but they only last for 8 to 12 hrs.

Last night my side effects started appearing and would last about a half hour and then stop. This went on all evening..very strange. Good sign or not, who knows.  Insomnia is still a problem for me but only between midnight and 6 am.  I can sleep in the morning and throughout the day, which I do. There's only been a couple of days in the past 2 weeks that I couldn't sleep at all.  I can't say I'm getting better, but it feels like it today.

 

I was reading a paper by Dr Ashton where she said only 10 to 15% continue to have symptoms 2 months out.  Longer than that were considered protracted, but usually get better in a year. If that is true, know wonder we are not getting any attention.  There definitely needs to be more research.

 

Finally, my heart goes out to each of you. We are on a tough road and I thank each if you for your kind words that make it easier to keep moving forward.  I wish you all many windows soon.

 

I am getting so much validating information from those that are just behind me in terms of time. The symptoms I had were exactly as you stated when I was just 6 -7 months out. I no longer have the rapid cycling of hour to hour or 12 hour to 12 hour. Your brain is trying to find an equilibrium. I can read symptoms here and see how the timeline for me was exactly as the symptoms others have. I no longer have, deep anxiety, intrusive thoughts, paranoia, rapid cycling, -- the only remaining symptom is depression in 2 day episodes but I think it is somewhat cognitive behavior on my side too. I think what we all going through is a form of trauma -- a nervous breakdown takes anywhere from 6 month to 18 months to overcome -- to get back to normal. I think I had a form of NB in my experience. That being said add to it another layer of the gaba system having to function without the poison and we are going through something I do not wish on anyone. I am definitely healing. I feel better today than when I was on my gabapentin. I am glad I took it as I think it made the ride a bit

more tolerable. I also know though that I have to be reasonable with myself -- I was a nervous person before this all started and this w/d process -- I will say it for the first time -- was a GIFT. It made me search deep within myself to find the strength t deal with life on my own.

I am not saying my healing is by all mean finished. It isn't. I am about 75% now. The symptoms are bearable. I am more convinced about the heavy depression that seems to hit me from time to time. I know that we are all healing. I can see it by looking at the post and of our referencing back to the time period people are in. Buddies -- I love you and have a deep compassion for what we are all going through. This whole experience has been a GIFT for me. I can say that now. It forced me to be a better, more compassionate, more "aware person". I wonder if all my life I lived in a form of DR. I now am practicing being present and that has helped me a bunch. I KNOW that my faith in God has healed me too. I also KNOW that the Rapid Resolution Theory through hypnosis helped me overcome the PTSD that this w/d had left me with. I no longer have the PTSD symptoms that this process left me with. I think I am out of the cave but I know that I might hit an occasional tree in the forrest and bump my head. The depression is something I will monitor. Until it does, I will look up at the sky and than God for his creation.Love to all!

 

Life