6-12 month thread....

[[...]]

Good morning Nova! You ignore those benzo thoughts! We are here for you! You are awesome and you don't bring anyone down!

 

I'm going through the intrusive thoughts now...I wish I could knock them out!

 

Sleep was broken...still tryin to evaluate today.

 

[[No...]]

Hi GMIT ... pretty wonky right now ... but fine ... managing this morning okay ... "cleaning up" after the week-end ... got the chicken ready for supper ... will do my "job" from Noon ...

 

I have found that trying to "knock-out" intrusive thoughts is like swinging at phantoms ... when I can I just laugh and ignore then if that is possible ...

 

Better sleep tonite for you ...

 

[[...]]

Thanks Nova! You're awesome!?,

 

:smitten:

[[Co...]]

Thank you so much for being in this group...we all love you so much...you do so much good here. It completely reveals your authenticity when you share your struggles...not that we want you or anyone to struggle...you are one of us...we are here for you as much as you are here for us...

.....So glad that you slept 9 hours.......I hope your day continues on an upward spiral...this just has to end for all of us...coop

[[Co...]]

I am so wavy this morning...had pressure elevated b/p..fear..anxiety ..nausea/dizziness ( b/p medication?)....Benzo Beast scaring me senseless....waiting for afternoon to come as things have been better in the afternoon...

....my waves are intense ...my windows are brighter....the healing continues.....I just want to not suffer anymore....I want all of us not to suffer anymore...

...anyone else having b/p jumps ..from a normal b/p to something like 150/ 75...it comes down with 6 mg of atenolol and I know I am in that spiral...elevated b/p...head pressure...anxiety...d/r...anxiety...b/p goes up a little more...b/p and d/r ramps a little more....over the cliff....trying to ' let it be '...but conversely contemplating taking 12 mg benadryl....will wait until I get home from PT....back to thinking this is my life forever....so sorry for the bummer post...hope everyone is having a much better day.....coop

[[pe...]]

I just wanted to shine some brightness all over this thread and my friends. It always helps me to hear your positives.

 

So hear goes. I'm ok. I have mild anxiety, head pressure, cognitive fog and general yuck. I also am wondering if it will get better, but despite all that...

I'm cleaning my oven, stayed home alone with my three year old for 2 hours (I actually suggested it and it is usually the last thing I'm up for!), I played 4 games of mancala with my six year old,  I am bike hunting with my husband and we're taking our children out to ice cream in a little bit. I'm actually planning to partake in the ice cream treat. Caution to the wind. The middle finger to the benzo beast.

 

I hope all of these symptoms, that each of us is feeling, fades a shade or two. I love you, my friends.

Peace2

 

[[Co...]]

On a positive rational note....the fact that my had pressure and elevated b/p comes and goes reassured me that it is w/d...not impending death...holding off on the benadryl as it has a tendency to up b/p in general and leaves me feeling hung over...chewing crystalized ginger.....no way out but through..coop

[[Co...]]

Peace.  You are light in the dark...your post helped me a great deal to get at least one foot on solid ground. I am so sorry that you are having head pressure buy it helps me get rational when I hear that others have the same s/x. One of the buddies said,  " millions of people across the planet having the same s/x can not be wrong "

...You are a wonderful example of living with and through s/x...I am taking your lead today ..on my way to PT...looking forward to a better afternoon....have a great time having icecream and bike shopping...perfect summer excursions.....love to you Peace....coop

[[...]]

Peace and Coop, I hope you have immense relief!!

 

:smitten:

[[No...]]

Coop ... yesterday felt like gonza the gorilla had his mitt gripped over my face and on my head ... today gonzo didn't show up ... it was all symptoms for me ... no medical stuff at all ... same for you ... good buddy ... have a good afternoon ...

 

I am utterly mystified ... got a tight spasm on the back of my neck late this morning ... panic rushed up ... nausea ... doom ... 2 minutes later ... nothing ... all afternoon just feel a bit "hung-over" or maybe "worked-over" ... all the weekend stuff released ... just trying to catch my breath a bit ...

 

Crazy business ....

 

Take Care.

[[No...]]

Peace ... sounds like an "interesting" day ... and ice cream to boot ... I hope you are get some comfort from all your effort today ... you deserve it ...

 

[[Fr...]]

Doing good here too - I'm with peace on the middle finger.

 

Keep feeling good everyone.

 

 

Free

[[Co...]]

Thanks Nova..that is reassuring....in a wave I am just sure that I am in dire danger...and yet after 100s of dire dangers..here I am still alive..you would think I would learn how to lift my finger to the Benzo Beast too....I did not take the benadryl and will probably make it through the day without it....happy to know that your day is better today....coop

[[dr...]]

Is it okay if I post here?  The 1-6 month thread isn't very active and you all seem to be a great group.

[[Co...]]

Of course...everyone is welcome.  It is a wonderful group...so much support...welcome to you! ...coop

[[...]]

Welcome here Drew! Everyone is welcome!

 

Hi everyone!!

 

[[li...]]

I just wanted to shine some brightness all over this thread and my friends. It always helps me to hear your positives.

 

So hear goes. I'm ok. I have mild anxiety, head pressure, cognitive fog and general yuck. I also am wondering if it will get better, but despite all that...

I'm cleaning my oven, stayed home alone with my three year old for 2 hours (I actually suggested it and it is usually the last thing I'm up for!), I played 4 games of mancala with my six year old,  I am bike hunting with my husband and we're taking our children out to ice cream in a little bit. I'm actually planning to partake in the ice cream treat. Caution to the wind. The middle finger to the benzo beast.

 

I hope all of these symptoms, that each of us is feeling, fades a shade or two. I love you, my friends.

Peace2

 

Had allot of stress today, issues with partners and a big issue with me brother but I am not in a wave.  I am able to handle more. I'm getting stronger.

 

I wont write much tonight but I have to say "THIS IS AWSOME, PEACE!" Nova you are a great person and we are all here for each other.

 

Love to all here.

 

life

[[dr...]]

Thx all!  My day was pretty good. I seem to be in a weird pattern.  when I fall asleep at night from the first time I wake up and on my brain feels wonky. Major cog fog. By the morning I am in a confused brain state. It gradually lessens and after an hour I feel just cog fog. By 1pm it's usually all gone. I then get a smaller cog fog hit around 6pm that gradually fades until bedtime. Rinse and repeat. Lol.

I know my brain is healing but every time I just think what if this doesn't go away. It always does though. Most of my other symptoms left a few days ago. My hands feel like they are swollen and don't move easy yet they're not. 

 

I can live with these symptoms. Just who likes them?  I feel like I have Alzheimer's every am.  Regardless, 20x better than even four days ago.

[[pe...]]

Hi Drew,

I'm glad you're here and glad you had a pretty good day. Cog fog is a major symptom for me. It's almost always present and a lot of the time, I just don't care anymore. I try to do what I can despite the zombie brain. It certainly makes work very difficult, but I'm on summer break right now. I'm enjoying the time when my brain can be mush with little consequence. I think we all find that our symptoms come and go, a lot of unpredictable cycling. Even though things are rough, I know they're better than a year ago when I was still on k. I just hope that pattern continues.

 

Life- I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your partners and brother. But I'm glad to hear that it didn't send you into a wave. That's major progress.

 

Nova- glad things lightened up for you. I'll be curious to see how the next few days unfold for you.

 

Coop- you've made it through another day. I hope pt went well and that tomorrow is kinder to you.

 

I shared a peanut butter cup Blizzard with my husband and found a bike! My husband did a lot of research and we drove to the only store with the desired bike in my size. I tried it out and it felt all wrong. I was so sad. We were about to leave when the sales guy suggested I try a different model. It was perfect. I was rolling around with a huge grin on my face, it fits like a glove and it's white. I'm planning to ride this bike into the sunset. But when we got home I was so exhausted we had to park her in the garage for another day. There are more possibilities now then there once were. But I'm tired and sad and my ears are ringing so loudly you can probably all hear them and there's the relentless cog fog and maybe it's all permanent. But today I ate ice cream with my family, played with my sons and I got a bike. Another day in benzo recovery.

 

Peace2

 

[[je...]]

Peace-- I'm so happy for you!! Such great news!! I'm still in this horrid wave and the head pressure I'm feeling is just insane, this stuff is so scary.....

[[li...]]

Hey Jenny so nice to hear from you. I have been just reading today mostly as I am exhausted. Was so glad to see you on this thread. I hope you feel better very soon. I know that we are all healing. I keep reading this thread and it is remarkable seeing the windows appear here and there that make recovery possible. You will have another window and it may be the one that stays open forever! You are getting to those great months were more healing takes place. We both jumped on the same day!

 

 

Life

[[pe...]]

Jenny- hang on, sister! You know it's only a matter of days until we trade places. You'll be out on adventures with your family and I'll be in a wave, much less graciously than, you I might add. I have a tendency to kick and scream all over BB when my symptoms are intense. Barely a hoot over here from you. I am thinking of you, dear one and hoping that pressure lightens up. Keep us posted. I don't like to go to long without hearing from you.

 

Peace2

[[je...]]

Life and Peace thank you both soo much, you are both so kind. I have a bad habit of isolating myself when I'm not feeling well, but trust me the voices in my head are mad as hell and kicking and screaming too

[[ga...]]

Jenny...sorry to hear you are dealing with those miserable symptoms.  Stay strong as it will subside.  I know we all just have to be patient and let it pass.  I too, am in the middle of dealing with this god awful insomnia.  Tonight will hopefully be the night I can get a few hours.

[[pe...]]

When anyone is up for advising, I could use some. I have two appointments this week and I'm trying to figure out how to best use them.

 

One is with a therapist. I think she's awesome, but she doesn't get benzo withdrawal and doesn't know best how to help me. How can I steer her? What is a useful thing to do in therapy when in recovery and how do I help her understand withdrawal? Is there something simple she could read? I really want to work with her but I'm not sure how when my brain is mush.

 

The second appointment is with a neurologist. My primary doctor just wants to have someone check out my brain since my symptoms are so weird. Well, of course they are! She's having a hard time understanding how the healthy woman she knew is now laden with bizarre and somewhat debilitating symptoms. She wants this neurologist to order images of my brain. And if it is a result of the drugs I've been given in the last two years, she wants to know if I can actively do anything to help my brain heal - like the kinds of things you might do if you'd had a stroke. Ok, so what approach do I take with the neurologist? Maybe I should explain to her what I just explained to you?

 

I'm just really in no place to expend a lot of energy in the way of explanation or defense. My husband is coming with to the neurologist as my character witness so he can express that I'm not exactly crazy.

 

Thanks for any suggestions,

Peace2