6-12 month thread....

[[Co...]]

Peace CONGRATULATIONS!!...Month 7 was a subltle but very real beginning of a better phase of healing for me. Half way to the one year mile marker and I think you are right...the very worst is behind you. You are seeing it through...every day that is going to take you all the way. I hope you celebrate with ..chocolate...leave the peas for another day..  enjoy your day...coop

[[No...]]

Good for you Peace ... there ... that was my first smile today ...

 

Thank you for the "sensory" material ...

 

Have A Good Day.

[[...]]

Congrats Peace!! You are one day closer to complete healing!!

 

I hope you are feeling better!!

 

[[Fr...]]

Sorry to hear of your struggles Nova and hoping you feel better soon and forever.  You are such a source of light and wisdom.  My therapist too told me to ground myself - she suggested holding and ice cube.

 

We will all get better soon.

 

I just finished month 5 and am hoping for consistently better days soon.  Yesterday was a great day beginning at 5 PM Friday, sleeping great, awaking calm and happy and staying that way till about 9 or 10 PM last night when the internal revving anxiety started up.  I took one mg melatonin to help with sleep, did sleep, but have that internal anxiety feeling this morning.

 

So in the next few months does that revving stop?  If it went away always I'd be so happy and feeling not so bad.

 

When did it go away for you all and was it sudden or gradual?  It may be getting less for me but I'm not sure.

 

How is everyone doing today? Life, GMIT, Coop, Peace, Garton and others?

 

xo,

Lisa

[[li...]]

Nova, I know how hard it feels to feel this way after weeks of windows. It going to be good. Deep breathing is the answer in these cases and to go out in nature. This will pass? How was your anxiety before you took benzos?

 

Peace, that is so awesome. YOu have made it through to the pivotal 6 moths. That is awesome.

 

GMit hop eyour feeling good today.

 

Free, I am feeling good this morning. I am trying to just be comfortable w/o having to go out and "do" things to feel good. I am always on the lookout for the depression wave.

 

God bless,

 

life

 

 

[[...]]

Good morning Lisa!

 

Sorry about the revving...hope it goes away soon!!

 

I'm feeling better today than the last couple of days! Thank goodness! I slept 9 hours last night, that hasn't happened in a long time! I took melatonin from acute till about 3 weeks or so ago, then I stopped cause I was sleeping alright. Then a wave hit a couple of weeks ago, I took a melatonin and it didn't work at all...grrr!

 

I sure hope things improve quickly Nova!!!

 

[[...]]

Life, so glad you are good today! Keep it going!!

 

[[No...]]

Lisa ... another milestone ... good ... the revving will stop ... it did for me ...

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... when I woke up this morning after a sound sleep feeling the "disconnection stuff" I became quite frightened ... I started remembering incidents during tolerance where I did disconnect for periods of time ... found myself in places I had no idea how I got there or why I was there ... people walking me home because I could not figure out how to get there ... real frightening stuff ...

 

And I got through this morning ... I knew what I was feeling and just struggled to stay grounded ... guess I am getting pretty good at this drug-free life stuff ... thank you all for you thoughts and suggestions ...

 

Now things feel pretty normal ... just the regular cycling symptoms ... loud and messy, but familiar ...

 

Have a good Sunday, Folks.

[[li...]]

Good to see you are well GMIT. Nova, great to here you stabilized a bit. It is such a struggle but things do get better fo ryou and all of us! It is such a hard thing to go through BUT we will overcome!

 

Life

[[...]]

Nova, so glad to hear you have improved!! 

 

[[No...]]

GMIT ... somewhat ... I seem to be cycling now about every half hour or so ... dropping down from a 10 to an 8 or 9 ... better ... but ... still a hard struggle ... but the dissociation seems to have passed ... I think ...

[[...]]

What does your disassociation feel like? Does it feel like you are light headed, almost a little drunk?

 

I have this feeling when I'm in a wave, not sure how to explain it. It is a strange feeling.

[[pe...]]

GMIT- remember a week ago when I was freaking out? I was disassociating. It feels like losing your mind, like you can't connect with the world. I also feel like I'm going to faint when it happens. I believe it to be the most intense expression of anxiety. It's awful.

 

It will pass, but good golly, there simply are not enough reassuring words out there. We've got to hold each other up when things get bad.

[[No...]]

You hit the nail on the head Peace ...

 

The ultimate in anxiety ...

 

This head pressure and face pressure and ear and jaw pressure ... and the nausea ... and the chest stuff ... taking me for the full ride today ... the cycling is so short that I don't even notice it anymore right now ... yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk ....

 

Thanks everyone.

[[...]]

So sorry Nova...that isn't what I'm feeling...so I guess I don't know what this is!

 

I hope for quick relief for all!!

 

[[No...]]

Sorry GMIT ... yeah ... I am feeling like a whiner today ... forgot what a full acute slam feels like ... really caught me by surprise ...

 

We can talk about the dissociation thing another day ... fascinating and terrifying ...

 

[[...]]

You shouldn't feel that way! You have been so supportive, so it's my chance to be supportive!!

 

You are awesome!!

 

[[Co...]]

A cycling morning for me too...the relentless head pressure and an hour of shaking anxiety...fear and crying ....some let up after epsome salt soak and better self talk...one more day...a few weeks away from month 9....I am reading Recovery and Renewal it is reassuring. I think the author intentionally white washes some of the realities of w/d that some might experience. She is upfront about not making her narritive all about s/x as she wishes to take a non- alarmist approach so as not to totally freak out people who are just beginning the process. All in all it has been a reassuring distraction for me this weekend. It is 100+  outside where I live...I get a bigger headache just taking the dog out so having books and movies is getting me through this weekend. Yesterday I watched A River Runs Through It...great movie ( Brad Pitt was practically a baby way back then)...still a little too emotional for me ( I am still in that mindless sitcom and lighthearted only level of tolerance for books/movies)

 

....

 

NOVA....my heart is with you friend...cycling right along side of you. ...You have already heard all my rah rah ..go go chants...just know I am thinking of you today and wanting the wave to pass for you......coop...

[[Fr...]]

Having a rough day here too guys.  Anxiety let up a bit but my brain is off and I'm having nerve pain issues in legs.

 

Church helped and got me outside but the fear and sadness just hang there.

 

Lisa

 

 

[[...]]

I hope you get quick relief Coop and Lisa!!

 

[[Co...]]

Hi Lisa...in month 8 I had some breaks from the reviving..but have had a few cluster bouts of it last week and this weekend. I get lightheaded too..like, " Oh no...here comes a damn panic "...but the panic stops short I am just left with shaking anxiety and fear that burns off after an hour or so...but sometimes cycles back later...maybe 2-3 cycles in a day. I have, 'I think, identified head pressure. head sensations and elevated b/p as possible triggers to the revs, but they can happen out of the blue. There seems to be somewhat of a pattern...ok for the first hour or so after getting up...then I can feel it creeping in until it peaks in the anxiety attack...after the anxiety burns off I am ok for awhile again.....nerve wracking...

.....Sorry you are going through this Lisa..it stinks...I think you will see improvement as you keep going...enjoy the ' in between moments ' and do whatever helps during the revs ....thinking of you....coop

[[No...]]

GMIT ... thank you ...

 

We are all awesome ...

 

[[pe...]]

Feeling depressed today, not sure how much of it is chemical and how much of it is my thinking about this whole saga. The plan is to watch the soccer game with a bunch of neighbors and see if it will drown out some of my heart aching.

 

Thinking of you each.

Peace2

[[Fr...]]

Coop - geez I'm sorry you're going through this too.  Is yours internal anxiety stuff all consuming and you feel like you just can't take it anymore?  When does this go away?  I don't see a lot of people dealing with it this bad, do you?

 

Have you found any threads where people talk about it going away?  It scares me because of how hard it is to deal with.

 

Today is a rough day.  I am starting month 6 and wondering when some permanent relief occurs.

 

Any ideas how we do this month after month?

 

I'm wearing thin.  Thanks for your support.

 

Lisa