6-12 month thread....

[[Co...]]

Nova...just a little note to let you know I am thinking of you...don't want to intrude....no need to post back until you surface fellow introvert....hope you are well and seeing continued sunbreaks.....coop

[[...]]

Yes, I missed my morning conversation with Nova!! I will greatly appreciate it again when he's ready!

 

Garton, how nice of you to say that believers should keep the faith, even though you are agnostic! It's a great person that can respect another's belief!! You are awesome!

 

Peace and Coop, I hope you eel good this afternoon!

 

[[ga...]]

I certainly do respect others beliefs.  Actually, I am somewhat jealous.  If I wasn't so analytical and matter of fact about things I might be able to just accept a belief in a supreme being that is there to guide us and help us through these most difficult periods in our lives. 

[[...]]

You're awesome!! Love it!!

 

[[li...]]

hey everyone,

 

Thank you for your support during my mini-gabapenten-detox-extreemly deep wave.Today I had an awesome day and I know that healing is on the way. I felt present ( did I say that?). I am also realizing that by nature I have always been self analytical and I believe that is one of my worst habits. I am deliberately trying to stay out of my head. I am learning to not be so "what if" everything. That is what has caused me to be agnostic in the past. I have made a conscious decision that for me God is my core. That was a choice of faith and it feels right for me.

 

I hope and pray that everyone is doing well. Today was a great day and I am so grateful for those moments and for the great people on this thread.

 

God bless. 

 

life

[[li...]]

Peace, great that you had a window!!!! Windows are to withdrawal what heat is to ice. Once the ice is broken you can not ever put it back together. Windows break the grip of w/d and once you start having them the w/d has no other choice but to break up.

 

You are healing!

 

life

[[He...]]

I'm glad to hear that so many are having a nice day!  My day is a little symptomatic, but I wouldn't call it a wave...or if it is it's a mild one.  I just have that sternum tightness, which can really easily lead to health anxiety if I don't keep it in check.  Those darn intrusive "what if" thoughts! Also some boatiness and tingling feelings that comes and goes. 

 

I'm pretty sure that I signed up for the No Symptoms After a Year Plan, but I guess I didn't get my order in on time. 

 

 

 

 

 

[[pe...]]

Life,

Thanks. It was short  but so nice.

 

Healinghope,

Sorry you're symptomatic past the 1 year mark. Your request must be lost in the mail.  Hopefully it will get there soon. In the meantime, it sounds like you've got things under control. Thinking of you.

[[pe...]]

I have a symptom that causes me more distress than others. I link it to depression but realize it's separate. I have the feeling like my head is full of cotton. It's the best way I can explain it. It feels like my head, or parts of my head are full of cotton. It is usually accompanied with a feeling of not being able to wake up. I also feel a lack if feeling. Sometimes I describe it to my husband as being offline. Sometimes it's like being held underwater.

 

Can anyone relate to this?

Thanks,

Peace2

[[li...]]

Peace,

 

That is definitely a benzo issue. Did you read Ashton's description of many benzo users stating that they felt they had " Cotton in their head". I do not have the link but it says it.

 

life

[[...]]

Oh, how I get the feeling but not feeling! Shouldn't make sense, but unfortunately it does.

 

Hoping you get quick relief!!

 

:smitten:

[[...]]

Cotton in ones head? Funny because as soon as I read that I was like "that is what I'm feeling like", now that I think of it I did read that but it's been while since I read the Ashton manual.

[[pe...]]

Thank you all for chiming in. It's so awful. I'm not sure if it's that alone or that feeling and just being out of it, but I feel like a zombie. I know the script and can go through the motions but I don't have the feelings. I really hate it, especially how it relates to being with my children. It hasn't been constant for a few months and I'm grateful that it comes and goes but just feel defeated when it returns.

My therapist told me it's like the drugs built a wall around my heart. Another therapist told me that therapists have a really hard time working with people on benzos because they have no access to their soul.

I'm hoping this improves with time and that I can whether it with some degree of dignity. Right now, I'm a mess. And after a sweet little window this morning. I think the big swing is causing more distress.

 

Peace2

[[...]]

My therapist told me it's like the drugs built a wall around my heart. Another therapist told me that therapists have a really hard time working with people on benzos because they have no access to their soul.

 

That is scary but so true. You'd have to live it to understand it that's for sure.

 

 

Cheers,

 

 

Fonz

[[...]]

Definitely! Sometimes it amazes me that I don't feel more, or something, in certain situations!

 

Be well!!

[[Fr...]]

Hi everyone,

 

I hope Nova and Coop are doing well.  They seem quiet so hopefully that means they are out having fun.

 

Having a rough time here.  I get better then sink again.  Yesterday was a better day although tired - which I'll gladly take over anxiety and head pain, but then around 5 I felt another wave of head pressure coming on.

 

A walk warded it off a bit, it seemed to have lifted in a few hours, I still felt funky and lay on the couch and was sleep which feels real good but the I couldn't fall asleep till around 2 or so and woke up to extreme internal anxiety.

 

I am so worn out from the last few weeks of windows that only last less than 24 hours.

 

Any suggestions for me?  This is week 20 - end of month 5.

 

Did any of you have that awful anxiety that just won't quit?  How about the pain that's so bad you have to crawl into bed.  I feel like I'm a worse case and won't heal.  I'm scared.

 

Lisa

[[...]]

Lisa, so sorry for your rough time! I sure hope you feel better soon!

 

We jumped the same time! I seem to only have the anxiousness left, but I'll have a window then it comes back...this is relentless!

 

Take care!!

 

[[Co...]]

Hi 6-12 buddies....Free...things are good for the most part. I was off most of yesterday as my family was over for bbq and swim.  It was my first big family event since acute set in after Christmas. ...It was a lot of activity and conversations and hoorahrah....but I managed pretty well and it was so great to be with my grandsons. I had some d/r d/p moments and transient anxiety but very manageable. I connected with conversations and felt happiness to be with my family...including my children's dad. I had a hard time going to sleep even though I was really tired...this morning my anxiety is ramped a little and my health fears want to talk to me...I woke up with some anxiety and adrenalin surges but also manageable.. I feel like I am a pretty good 65%....I am happy with that following a lot of social hooptydo.

....Hope everyone is doing well today.. coop

 

 

[[...]]

Coop, you sound good! I'm so glad!! Sounds like you really got to enjoy some family time!

 

Take good care!

[[Fr...]]

sounds awesome Coop!

 

thanks G  I appreciate all your kind words

 

Lisa

[[Co...]]

Free....I am sorry you are struggling. Month 6 is a tough month for many...it was a hard month for me with the same s/x that you speak of. I had a resurgence of physical anxiety with the 'crawling out of my skin. ' jitters and fear. It started burning off by month 7..The head pressure hung out for awhile through month 7 but is much better in month 8. ...I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I want you to know that most likely if you follow the pattern of those of us in the group,  this could be your last tough stretch.  I and others here seem to be falling into the month 8 turn around that Life speaks of. Even my 'bad ' days are not anything like my bad days 2 months ago.( knock on wood). ...Free if you can fight through month 6 I think things will lighten up for you.  I know how tired you are....Rest as much as your s/x will allow and do little non- stressful things when you feel ok. Don't rush it...when you feel better in a couple of months you will naturally ( gradually) start to want to do more....it will happen for you Lisa....time seems to be the only thing we can count on without doubt and hesitation

.....Hold on to us Free...we are all healing together...coop

[[Fr...]]

Thanks Coop - you're so sweet and I'm so glad to hear things are way much better for you!  YAY!

 

So you had this awful anxiety back then that is so horrid?  As long as it goes away is all I care about.  It's so tough to deal with

 

love to you all,

Lisa 

[[pe...]]

Intrusive thoughts and head pressure are at an all time high right now. Can anybody help mr through this? My catastrophic thinking is raging. I'm halfheartedly wanting to go to the ER. My intrusive thoughts are that bad right now. This roller coaster ride is really bad right now!

 

Peace2

[[ga...]]

Today is the one year mark for me.  Sleep was a bit better last night.  I still am feeling somewhat anxious, maybe because we have a 7 hour drive home today.  I am hoping when home I can get back to my normal routine.  I have not done any exercise the last 5 days, unusual for me and may be playing a part in how I feel.  Anyhow, the great news it has been one year off.  Hope to see the insomnia and blue thoughts wane as time goes on.

[[...]]

Peace, this will pass! I know how hard it is! I here, and will be on here! It's the Benzos trying to pull you down...don't let them!!