6-12 month thread....

[[Lo...]]

Hi everyone...praying all is well. Thankful I made it through my neuro opthomology appt in one piece this morning. The anxiety was high during one test (heart palps and all) but I made it. I also had to maneuver through this large building just to get to the doctor. But...I did it!!!!

 

But all in all everything looks "beautiful" he said my optic nerves are great, behind my eye looks good and my vision is the same from 1 year ago. Even he and his assistant said benzos can really make you feel crutty...but that I will get back to normal. They were so confident!

 

Glad that some docs understand.

 

I thought my vision changed for sure during all this mess and if anything it hasn't and is normal!

 

Thank...GOD! 

[[Aq...]]

Glad you made it through!!  I feel like my vision has changed too.  I actually stopped wearing my glasses because they make my DR worse, but now I don't see as well.  I hope to wear them again when things settle.

[[dr...]]

good news LM!

 

Aqua-I constantly am putting on and taking off my glasses.  My eyes just feel so weird.  Not sure if it is recovery though..

[[Lo...]]

Glad you made it through!!  I feel like my vision has changed too.  I actually stopped wearing my glasses because they make my DR worse, but now I don't see as well.  I hope to wear them again when things settle.

 

My eye doc said that is normal too...I have not worn my glasses in months and to hear that my vision is the same was amazing. My doc and asst said these types of meds do all kinds of things but your vision will be restored :-)

 

I've had wavy lines, blurry stuff, floaters, flashing lights and this is a neuro opthomologist and said everything looks "beautiful." 

 

Benzos can really lie to us...

[[Lo...]]

Thanks Drew, how are you feeling???

[[dr...]]

meh....having lots of intrusive/obsessive thoughts regarding an upcoming heart stress test.  My mind is looping endlessly on it even though I am pretty sure I will check out ok.  Damn drugs blocking my rational thoughts. 

[[Lo...]]

meh....having lots of intrusive/obsessive thoughts regarding an upcoming heart stress test.  My mind is looping endlessly on it even though I am pretty sure I will check out ok.  Damn drugs blocking my rational thoughts.

 

I'm sorry, I had one last year and everything turned out fine and so will your test! What date is it?

[[dr...]]

They are all gone til next year so I don't have one yet.  I too had one last year which was fine. There has been a change so they just want to do another one.  They think it's notjjng but wouldn't be dojng thrre job if they didn't investigate.  Bay lisa mentions ekg can change in recovery.  What next

[[mr...]]

meh....having lots of intrusive/obsessive thoughts regarding an upcoming heart stress test.  My mind is looping endlessly on it even though I am pretty sure I will check out ok.  Damn drugs blocking my rational thoughts.

 

Grr to stupid irrational thoughts & fears. Grr, I say! I completely understand this, and I can relate. I'll not have this forever -- I refuse to take sides with fear. With God's help. So over it. Ya know? 'Course you do.

 

We ARE healing. We WILL be left with nothing but memories -- nothing missing, nothing broken, zero fear or panic. Period. I'll fight for that! Kicking! Stomping! Biting!

 

LM and Drew, congrats on 8 months! Amazing, isn't it? You're gonna make it How was your Christmastime?

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

Xmas was nice.  Thx mrs.  You?

 

In the hope of doing a positive post I want to list my symptoms which have left me or reduced a lot..unless in a major wave...

 

Tinnitus

Head pressure

Migraine/bad headaches

Nightmares

Morning confusion

Burning skin

Numbness

Nerve pain

Tremors

Twitches

 

Things I'm still dealing with

Anxiety/panic

Nausea/bad tummy

Broken sleep

Morning blahs of racing heart and mind

Ocd type stuff

Health anxiety

Some isolated muscle pain but much less

Low threshold to stress

Severe fatigue

[[mr...]]

Xmas was nice.  Thx mrs.  You?

 

In the hope of doing a positive post I want to list my symptoms which have left me or reduced a lot..unless in a major wave...

 

Tinnitus

Head pressure

Migraine/bad headaches

Nightmares

Morning confusion

Burning skin

Numbness

Nerve pain

Tremors

Twitches

 

Things I'm still dealing with

Anxiety/panic

Nausea/bad tummy

Broken sleep

Morning blahs of racing heart and mind

Ocd type stuff

Health anxiety

Some isolated muscle pain but much less

Low threshold to stress

Severe fatigue

 

Christmas was good

 

Your list looks similar to mine, kid. We are healing!!! Keep on

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

Hey Guys

 

Thanks for all who wished me well on the Jump!

 

I'm 6 weeks and 1 day in now...

 

I did a long slow taper. And was sick every single day of it. I held on until I got way low past .0312 once a day, I even went to .0156 for the last 2 weeks.

 

Then I jumped. And felt really good for the first few days.

 

And since then it's been over all pretty good. I no longer feel the daily 'drugged' feeling.

 

My skin is better and over all everything is better.

 

But I still get waves each day. I still get hit. It lasts about 20-60 mins. Some days I get two a day.

 

Anxious, jittery, the chills, panic etc..

 

Sucks. Same as all year but a slightly smaller version.

 

Sort of like when you start to lose weight, you know? You go from a sise smaller etc but you're still 'fat' just the proportions are getting smaller.

 

It's like that.

 

I'm still sick, but it's getting 'smaller'. And I guess this is my 'acute 'phase.

 

But I feel like since I dragged out my taper soooo long and at such tiny doses, maybe my 'acute' started back then?

 

Just want it over.

 

Like we all do.

 

Thoughts?

[[...]]

Hi everyone, hope you are doing ok in this challenging time.

 

I'm confused today and wonder if anyone can relate or tell me if this is normal. The last couple of weeks has been really difficult, I'm sure a lot of it could be attributed to the stress of Christmas and me starting a new job next week. I really worried I would not be able to make work yesterday, however I did, got through and even though I cried on the way home, things improved when I got home and was even able to do some supermarket shopping. Really thought that I had come through a bad patch and went to bed optimistic. Cr@p night felt ill in the night (fluey) couldn't sleep, feel just as bad again. Pain is back and feeling like this will never get better, at 8 nearly 9 months off my thoughts are more irrational than the first few months off. Some who CT seem to be doing better than this. They say your thoughs affect how you feel so how come you can go to bed thinking positive and then BAM!! Just so sick of this as I'm sure you all are. If not for me then for my kids 

[[Lo...]]

meh....having lots of intrusive/obsessive thoughts regarding an upcoming heart stress test.  My mind is looping endlessly on it even though I am pretty sure I will check out ok.  Damn drugs blocking my rational thoughts.

 

Grr to stupid irrational thoughts & fears. Grr, I say! I completely understand this, and I can relate. I'll not have this forever -- I refuse to take sides with fear. With God's help. So over it. Ya know? 'Course you do.

 

We ARE healing. We WILL be left with nothing but memories -- nothing missing, nothing broken, zero fear or panic. Period. I'll fight for that! Kicking! Stomping! Biting!

 

LM and Drew, congrats on 8 months! Amazing, isn't it? You're gonna make it How was your Christmastime?

 

Mrs.

 

Hi Mrs! Thanks for the congrats. Christmas was actually nice! I'm going to follow in Drew's footsteps. This is what I posted on the benzo free celebration thread. I did not list a few things that got better over time (knocking on wood). The one thing I left off is that I'm still dealing with facial sensations.

 

Written the day after Christmas:

 

What a way to bring in the holiday! Celebrating 8 months off  

 

Let's start with the good:

 

In the past month I've seen more windows than ever. Thank God! I had a couple of windows that lasted 2 days in a row.

 

My baseline is higher! I would have waves but once they ended I felt more stable!

 

I was able to do more with my son. Took him to the historic district to see the big tree and we went to the riverfront and we went to a big Christmas dinner last night! Just to name a few. 

 

I still have inner ear problems but I will say that my balance got a lot better in the past month and for example I was able to stand in lines without a shopping cart or any assistance and walk across large stores without holding on to a cart or a stroller as well.

 

Wow! all of this is a huge difference compared to the month prior!

 

things I'm still dealing with that are the most bothersome are anxiety and shortness of breath and inner ear disturbance.

 

The inner ear stuff causes balance issues, rocky boat sensation, slight dizziness.

 

Let the good times roll. Praying I see even more windows and hey...maybe some symptoms even drop off the next month.

 

Happy 8 months off to Drew!

 

Onward and upward! praying for continued healing for us all.

 

Godspeed! 

[[...]]

Wishing each of you a very Happy New Year!!!!

 

:smitten: :smitten:

[[ci...]]

Marj, I am at 9months CT, and often I will wake up and get bam, horrible anxiety, panic , pain just jolts me awake. Marj, you are doing great making an effort to work, Good for you. I feel if I can force myself to be productive in some way, even if I volunteer, it may help things go smoother for me.

 

Drew, thanks for making me focus on something positive about my progress doing the past 9 months, so I will post both positive and negative:

 

Positive: The panic, fear and uncontrollable crying has lessened, still exist but not as severe

I am able to be alone now, I no longer have fear of being alone

Although the intense body burning pain still exists, it is less in intenity instead of a pain level of a 10 now a 6 and instead of 8-10 hours now 3-4 hours daily.

 

Negative: Insomnia, neuropathic pain, vibrations, "weird" neurological head sxs, pins and needles sensation in feet, hands, head, tinnitus,about 21 sxs still persistent.

 

Lovingmother, great to see your progress, and seeing progress over one month is hugh!

 

Mrs, so glad you are on this thread, always keeping it so positive for us, thank you

 

To All my 6-12 month buddies, wishing us all continued healing and a full recovery in 2015.

 

Always, cindy

 

[[Lo...]]

Marj, I am at 9months CT, and often I will wake up and get bam, horrible anxiety, panic , pain just jolts me awake. Marj, you are doing great making an effort to work, Good for you. I feel if I can force myself to be productive in some way, even if I volunteer, it may help things go smoother for me.

 

Drew, thanks for making me focus on something positive about my progress doing the past 9 months, so I will post both positive and negative:

 

Positive: The panic, fear and uncontrollable crying has lessened, still exist but not as severe

I am able to be alone now, I no longer have fear of being alone

Although the intense body burning pain still exists, it is less in intenity instead of a pain level of a 10 now a 6 and instead of 8-10 hours now 3-4 hours daily.

 

Negative: Insomnia, neuropathic pain, vibrations, "weird" neurological head sxs, pins and needles sensation in feet, hands, head, tinnitus,about 21 sxs still persistent.

 

Lovingmother, great to see your progress, and seeing progress over one month is hugh!

 

Mrs, so glad you are on this thread, always keeping it so positive for us, thank you

 

To All my 6-12 month buddies, wishing us all continued healing and a full recovery in 2015.

 

Always, cindy

 

Much healing to you Cindy! Thank you for compliments on the progress. Praying it only gets better from here. Praying that your total healing will be in 2015 (and I mean the early part)!

 

Cheers!

 

http://www.thorntonwine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/champagne_glasses.jpg

[[Sk...]]

Hi everybody,  wanted to send you all  my wishes for the new year.

 

I am so tired and it's only quarter past 7 !! I took my dog out on two long walks, didn't realize they were long actually and now I am exhausted without having done anything !! I tried to nap for half an hour in the afternoon, but my cat felt like partying and would not let us be one minute, she was up to no good !! 

 

Everybody, have a happy new year, this has been a difficult but amazing year, we're on the road to something good, I can feel it . THere is still a lot to do, there will be many bumps on the road, but we're on the right track.

 

Hugs !

 

[[dr...]]

Happy new year. I hope we all have a better 2015!

[[Lo...]]

Hi everybody,  wanted to send you all  my wishes for the new year.

 

I am so tired and it's only quarter past 7 !! I took my dog out on two long walks, didn't realize they were long actually and now I am exhausted without having done anything !! I tried to nap for half an hour in the afternoon, but my cat felt like partying and would not let us be one minute, she was up to no good !! 

 

Everybody, have a happy new year, this has been a difficult but amazing year, we're on the road to something good, I can feel it . THere is still a lot to do, there will be many bumps on the road, but we're on the right track.

 

Hugs !

 

"This has been a difficult but amazing year, we're on the road to something good, I can feel it."

 

I feel something good as well Sky! Happy New Year my dear! 

[[mr...]]

Happy New Year, gang!  We're healing with every passing day!

 

God bless,

 

Mrs.

[[Ba...]]

Happy New Year

 

This is a great thread. It has been so helpful to me and I love it

[[...]]

Xmas was nice.  Thx mrs.  You?

 

In the hope of doing a positive post I want to list my symptoms which have left me or reduced a lot..unless in a major wave...

 

Tinnitus

Head pressure

Migraine/bad headaches

Nightmares

Morning confusion

Burning skin

Numbness

Nerve pain

Tremors

Twitches

 

Things I'm still dealing with

Anxiety/panic

Nausea/bad tummy

Broken sleep

Morning blahs of racing heart and mind

Ocd type stuff

Health anxiety

Some isolated muscle pain but much less

Low threshold to stress

Severe fatigue

 

Hey Drew

 

Happy New Year!

 

I wanted to ask you, I see your list of symptoms. Some have stopped and some have not so much.

 

What do you use for anxiety? Do you take anything?

 

For me 6 weeks free, Anxiety is the worst symptom. That and the 'chills' sensation on my muscles.

The tinnitus sucks too. but Anxiety is the worst.

 

How do you deal? Do you take any meds or supplements that help?

Has it at least gotten better over the months? or is it the same?

 

Thanks

[[dr...]]

I can't do much about the anxiety.  When it hits it's bad as ever.  I guess what changed is now I know it will pass.  It just sucks. 

 

I take a small dose of propronolol every month or so when my heart palps get bad but that's it. I take nothing else.

 

It's so hard to say if it hot better.  I do know my periods of stability or windows are better but when I'm in the soup it's bad as ever.

[[63...]]

Happy New Year to everyone here! Lots of healing is going to happen for us all in 2015!