6-12 month thread....

[[Lo...]]

This is just so bizarre.  Yesterday was a really decent day of doing many nice things with my husband out in the world, we ate breakfast at a cool new place, walked at the Y, walked into town for a late afternoon snack, shopped (it's been in the 40s here lately), wrapped gifts, wrote out some cards, ate dinner next door at a little place, then watched tv together.  At bedtime, my body even felt relaxed.

 

Then somewhere in the middle of the night it switched over to a wave.  My bladder woke me up, then I could see I am in aching pain and that my brain feels badly.

 

Does anyone else get the sensation that their body tightens or locks up.  That's what happens inside me.  It's like how I picture rigor mortis setting in---a tightening sensation all over that is painful---I will say that it is decreasing in intensity though from last summer.

 

Sky---I'm sorry you're having this pattern too.  It's so frustrating.

 

I hope everyone is feeling better today.

 

Thank you for being there and listening to my endless blah blah blah.

 

Hi there, I know how it feels to have a nice day and then totally and utterly slammed by symptoms. It's depressing. I'm so happy you had a window. I wish it would have stayed open. Mine closed last night and the symptoms are really acting up today. It's cruel.

 

Let's pray that another window ill open soon.

[[So...]]

Can totally relate.  Had a nice window a week a week ago and then slammed.

[[mr...]]

Hey gang,

 

Just stopping by to mention that I went ahead and created a new support group for those of us experiencing benzo-induced fear, panic, and/or anxiety (http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=123037.0).  It is my "least favorite" symptom(s), and I would love a little extra support and encouragement and relate-ability from others who have "walked this path" so to speak.  I've also invited some buddies that have had these symptoms as their "most prominent" but are now 100% healed again   My hope is to have a place to go and receive encouragement for this particular set of symptoms   I don't want to take anything away from this awesome thread!  I love coming here also because it gives me a place to relate to people who have similar window/wave experiences as I do!  Anyways, if you or anyone else you know could benefit from a benzo-induced fear/panic/anxiety support thread, feel free to come over and/or invite them over

 

Also, today was my first day back as a full-time employee    Thank you Jesus, BB, and all of you -- there is no way I would be where I'm at today without the support I've received.  God bless you all.

 

Mrs.

[[Fr...]]

Thanks MRS and congratulations on the job success.  I'm so happy for you.  I hope the anxiety eases completely soon.

 

L.

[[63...]]

Just a quick check in....

 

I've been thinking of you guys here in the 6 - 12 month group. I hope that everyone is able to get some relief and perhaps even to enjoy themselves a bit.

 

Its been a back and forth cycling between windows and waves for me over the last few days, which is fairly typical for me of late. Big thing for me over the weekend was being able to function and even enjoying my self at two different Christmas parties...huge! I am very grateful for this! I went from this to symptoms revving back up on Sunday, into a big wave. Intense anxiety, rational mind gone, etc. It lasted for about 6-7 hours and then settled back down during the evening, to my relief. Today went fairly well. I had some symptoms but they didn't rev up into a full blown wave, which is great since i had to work this morning. Taken as a whole, the weekend went well. The wave I was in on Sunday was the full-on deal, such that I had to retreat into my "safe zone", which is my bedroom, sitting on my bed. So it has been a case of extremes...frustrating! Withdrawal can be so unpredictable...ugh.

 

Mrs...congrats on being back on full-time!

[[ci...]]

I need some help, sorry to be such a bummer with my post. At 8.5 months CT from ambien, I never felt so awful. Everything is getting worse, I took a bad turn for the worse now, adding to all my other WDs sxs (nerve pain, intense body burning, tinntitus, insomnia, numbness, anxiety, crying) I now have very bad heart palps....I noticed them the most when I lay down, my heart is just pounding, fluttering, racing....I had an EKG a few weeks ago, doctor thought rapid heat beat was from either anxiety or elavil med. But I am not taking the elavil, I just fill the prescription because I have to look compliant with my doctor's orders for my disability pay. I am taking no meds.

 

Why are things getting worse at 8.5 months, why heart palps now this far out? I just don't know how much more I can take, I am so tired can only walk 10 mins and then have to sit down. I am scheduled for another EKG next week.

 

Any advice.....I can not even sleep.....

 

Thanks, cindy

[[ga...]]

hi cindys....I am up at 3 a.m.  Driving myself  nuts like you trying to figure it all out and understand.  With me, I don't think it is w/d.  It feels like lots of outside stressors just bringing me to this point where I have been unable to sleep.  I am worrying about whether I can function during the day...work, family issues etc.  It feels miserable and just wanting it all to end.  At this moment I don't feel the depression but that certainly has been an issue for me as of late.  Probably tied in with lack of sleep.   Not sure if and when it will.  All I can say is it has in the past when it's acted up. 

 

My thoughts are with you as you go through this struggle.  Remember, you are not alone.  Others have been through it and it gets better in time.  Patience is so hard though.  Especially, when you are sleep deprived. 

[[mr...]]

Hi Cindy,

 

Heading to work now, so I'm short in time. Just wanted to say I've been there. "Tachycardia" of 95-105bpm resting back in the day sometimes, and I used yo have momentary upswings of 140-180s occasional. Blah! I had lots of tests done, and all is great and healthy I'm 33 and healthy weight. My cardiologist says to me, "GO, and DO!" Haha Gotta love him

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

Hi Cindys...I got hit w the rapid heart beat a few months ago.  It scared the hell out of me and I couldn't sleep either.  My doc gave me a very low level scrip of beta blockers. Propranolol.  I took it for two days and it broke the cycle of my rapid hr leading to anxiety.  You may want to discuss this idea with your doc. Good luck!

 

[[Ki...]]

Has anyone in this group jumped from about .32 mg of Ativan?  I recently started taking a beta blocker, and except for my ringing ears, it has gotten rid of my main symptom which is a racing heart.  The racing heart would trigger anxiety, and then my whole body would follow.  Now that my heart is not pounding away in my chest, I feel alright.  So, I was thinking of just ditching the Ativan now.  I've been on the beta blocker for three days.  The other option would be to have my gummies made in .2 mg then .1 mg, then bye bye Ativan.  So has anyone jumped from .32, which would be equivalent to 3 mg Valium.  Your thoughts/experiences would be appreciated.  Thanks!

[[dr...]]

Since you seem so sensitive to benzos that would seem like a large jump.  Why not just go down as to close to zero as you can and just step off gently? Gently being a very loose term in benzoland.

[[mr...]]

Since you seem so sensitive to benzos that would seem like a large jump.  Why not just go down as to close to zero as you can and just step off gently? Gently being a very loose term in benzoland.

 

I second this notion But that's coming from someone who did just that! (see my sig)

 

IMO getting off *quicker" doesn't hurry up recovery necessarily. It may make it a bit harsher also. I took it slow & steady all the way to zero, and healed well all along the way. There were no post jump issues either.

 

Totally up to you, of course! I hope for the best for you, whatever you decide!

 

Mrs.

[[je...]]

Cindy, sometimes we just get hit really hard late in the game. I had my worst wave at 10 months out and Green got hit at one year. It makes no sense and its scary as hell, but a bad wave is always followed by a jump in baseline. Try not to worry too much, you are healing everyday you are off these drugs. I'm sure all your tests will come back fine. Hugs, jenny

[[Lo...]]

I had to share this good news from happyback!

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=123103.0

 

11 months off and feeling great! 

[[ci...]]

Robert, your waves and windows are like mine, changing so quickly w/i the same day...exhausting. Like a light switch on and off. Since we jump at the same time, looks like similiar patterns.

 

garton, I hope you can sleep tonight, everything is worse at night, and then not sleeping amplifies everything.

 

jenny, thanks for your kind words, it is hard getting hit so hard with these waves months out, it is so hard even when I look back at 6 onths I see little progress, maybe even worse in some areas. Just got to get thru each day. The days are so long, but the years pass quickly.

 

drew, these heart palps are so scary, glad yours clamed down, hopefully mine will , too.

 

mrs, as always thanks for reassuring me, it seems like quite a few of us have had these heart palps.

 

To all of you on this thread, thank you, I get so scared at night going thru these waves, I just sign on and you are always there to help me thru.

[[No...]]

Hi Cindy ... and everyone ...

 

I went through so many different cycle patterns for several months ... and I have no idea of their "significance" ... they just were ... many of us had similar ones ... the only "constant" was "change" ...

 

And the "experience" of Time was often very "confusing" ...

 

And whether I felt it or not, the "arrow of healing" is always "moving forward" ...

 

And you are perceptive ... get through the day ... the months take care of themselves ...

 

Be well ...

 

[[Sk...]]

Nova, are you still up and about or  are you already up and about ? 

 

Yes, you are right, even when we don't think/feel like we are moving on, we are healing.

 

I had  a bad day yesterday, but today seems like it will be so much better, so I am a happy bunny  ! Hugs to you all.

[[No...]]

Hi Sky ... "up and about" ... sometimes I sleep early ... and I usually get 4 to 5 hours ... it is pretty good when the bunnies are happy ...

 

Have a good one ...

[[dr...]]

good morning or whatever to my fellow friends....

 

I am doing okay today.  Have had some real bad DR recently and slight pressure behind eyes and nose.  I have pushed myself to exercise at a little higher HR intensity the last two days which seems to help my DR.  It seems to rev me the first night as I only slept five hours and then last night I slept over eight!!!  The trick is balancing the physical soreness vs the mental stuff. 

 

Hope everyone has a good day. 

[[Lo...]]

good morning or whatever to my fellow friends....

 

I am doing okay today.  Have had some real bad DR recently and slight pressure behind eyes and nose.  I have pushed myself to exercise at a little higher HR intensity the last two days which seems to help my DR.  It seems to rev me the first night as I only slept five hours and then last night I slept over eight!!!  The trick is balancing the physical soreness vs the mental stuff. 

 

Hope everyone has a good day.

 

Hey Drew! Good for you! I'm up to doing 4 vestibular exercises a night. First it was two and I'm working my way up. I do each exercise 5 times which is a lot (repetition) plus some leg work out every other night. Doing 4 sets of 10 with light weights for my arms.

 

I feel good afterwards...just takes time and working up to doing more at my body's own pace. 

[[mr...]]

good morning or whatever to my fellow friends....

 

I am doing okay today.  Have had some real bad DR recently and slight pressure behind eyes and nose.  I have pushed myself to exercise at a little higher HR intensity the last two days which seems to help my DR.  It seems to rev me the first night as I only slept five hours and then last night I slept over eight!!!  The trick is balancing the physical soreness vs the mental stuff. 

 

Hope everyone has a good day.

 

I am working on doing this as well!  And it sounds like LovingMother is hitting the exercise routine also   After reading Bart's post in the Chewing the Fat section (called "The Case for Exercise in Withdrawal"), I was like -- gotta get moooooovin'!!!!!!!!

 

How's you two feeling?

 

Mrs.

[[je...]]

Hi Mrs, can you tell me where that article is located on here? I'd love to read it.. Thanks, jenny 

[[mr...]]

Hi Mrs, can you tell me where that article is located on here? I'd love to read it.. Thanks, jenny 

 

Its located here!: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=77609.0

 

I found it very interesting! And its gotten my butt out the door... I suppose that's good!!!

 

Mrs.

[[je...]]

Thank you Mrs!! Great post by Bart! I always take my vit c after my workout, I think I'm going to start taking it before and see if that helps the cortisol issue. Thanks again, jenny 

[[No...]]

WORD FOR THE DAY

 

Thursday, Dec. 18

 

Hope is the deep orientation of the human soul that can be held at the darkest times.

 

Vaclav Havel