6-12 month thread....

[[li...]]

Sky is is so good to see that you are pushing yourself and succeeding. Nothing is better than to see that we can do so much more than we think we are capable of. The benzos is temporary setback who we are is permanent. The benzos can take allot out of us in the short run but not in the long run. We are healing! I am feeling like a whirlwind today and although I felt stressed I felt good that I pushed myself and did really good. I feel like Mrs. Sky and her success for today. I must admit that I thought I was overdoing it a bit at times but now I feel relaxed ( did I just say that, shit!). I sometimes wonder if posting all this possitve stuff is a turn off of sorts to others. I think it is so impoartant to know that people are healing -especially someone on benzos for 32 years that has no clue what the doses were. I was going to ask my doctor for my records. But you know it does not matter -- that is the past. I do not know if I am out of the woods yet ( my last big symptom is depression from time to time) but I sure pray and hope I am. I had a visual yesterday that was so real.. it was me exiting the dark cave and seeing sunlight. I know that many here were like me in December when I dropped my SSRI Viibryd and I was googling the words schizophrenia because I thought I was going crazy and it was the sudden c/t of an SSRI. Many here have had drug s/a I think and we tend to think they are permanent when we are going through them ( I know I thought " Is this the SSRI or me???). SSRI are horrible for me. I know we are all healing. I took a look at a picture of me in December and when I look back I was shocked at the progress yet while in December I thought I was damaged good. God bless you all and we are exiting this cave together -- All of us! 

 

Life

[[li...]]

Here is what I just wrote on my progress log:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6/11 - OK, here's the deal.  I AM healing.  I am just having a tough wave, but here is what I know about waves:

                I have always come out of them before.

                They suck, but are temporary.

                They usually have lead to a better baseline.

                Other people get them too, and they also come out of them.

 

Yes, we are probably moving this summer.  Yes, we have probably lost our house.  Yes, this would be a HUGE source of stress for ANYONE. And, yes, I get to do this with a fragile CNS and in the midst of recovery.  But you know what?  I CAN do this!  Better times are waiting and it will be good to have a fresh start.

 

It is time to ride through this wave.  I am not going to fight it, make it worse, or let it scare me to immobility.  I am going to simply ride it out.  I am going to make and keep plans, like I did all school year, and if I feel anxious, then so what?  I feel anxious.

 

Here are the positives:

    We will be able to get a fresh start and get our finances back in order.

    We will not have to deal with this disaster of a house with all the things to fix anymore.

    This time of increased stress will be a learning opportunity for me.  I will learn, and trust, that I can deal with times of great stress without the "help" of a benzo.  I will be stronger.

    Our family is very close, and it is not the house that creates that, it is our relationships...and that will be there no matter where we live.  We are happy and healthy and together.

    God is so much bigger than this problem, and I will rely and trust in Him through it all!!!

    I have a long track record of pushing through waves and being productive despite how I feel.  There is no reason to believe this time will be any different. 

    We have been living with the uncertainty with the house for over a year, it is good to finally start to get an action plan.

 

I choose to believe in healing. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I have been hit hard with a wave and I was starting to feel like I am being swept under.  I don't know exactly how I am going to get through this, but I plan on eating healthy, walking, and keep moving forward.  GreenIce, you are so right.  There is no turning back, there is only through....and sometimes through is right in the middle of a storm.  We have to keep moving forward, despite the stressors of life....and some of them are HUGE. 

 

Thanks for listening.  This support group means a lot to me.

 

Wow this is so awesome.  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:Go Healing Go! WhenI am in a wave I just feel the walls of the cave and keep moving step by step forward -- one  step closer to the exit. What you said about waves is 100% correct. Remember when in a window how you feel so that you can tell your mind and KNOW that you will come out and that while in a wave you are not YOU! It's the benzos.

 

life

life

[[li...]]

Life, cog fog is that feeling of trying to think through mud. It is a little like confusion because I sometimes get something like the grocery list all put together and within 5 minutes forget the rationale behind why I listed the specific items on it. I am sure this is what Alzheimer's Disease feels like....but for me it gets mingled with depression because it is scary to not be able to follow a train of thought. I woke up with it this morning along with d/p which I have only had one small experience of way back in taper.

.....One thing I am noticing is new s/x that I have not experienced at all or only briefly or ones that I thought were gone.

......I was just so thankful to not have intense jitters ...everything else seemed manageable in comparrison.......hope everyone is having a peaceful evening..  wish we were all 15 months off....coop

 

Thanks Coop for the explanation. I sooooooo pray and know that you will come out of this wave and with an improved baseline!!!!

 

life

[[pe...]]

I'm obsessing. I can't read others' posts right now because I'm consumed by my new worry. The worry is that a medication I was given for a migraine has caused permanent damage. I can weather the benzo damage because I know it improves with time. But this other idea is bringing me to the brink. I spoke with my doctor about it and she's never heard of a case with permanent side effects from the drug I was given. That wasn't comforting. So, she's having a pharmacologist look for more information about permanent damage. I know I feel better than I did while on klonopin. I know all my symptoms fit the profile of benzo withdrawal. I also know that things haven't been quite right since I was given that migraine medication. My fear is huge. Permanent is too much for me to bear. How do I do this? I need to stop thinking about this!!!!!

 

Peace2

[[je...]]

Peace- when were you given the migraine medication,  before during or after the benzos? I think if you were given it recently that could be why you are experiencing sx- only because our CNS are so sensitive right now. I honestly do not think you will have permanent damage and I know you will be fine. Try not to worry, jenny

[[Co...]]

Well....I am not sure what to think. I think I should stop thinking and just be. My jitters and wild health fears dog me without mercy. Having said that, they magically turn off like a switch for periods of the day...anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. ..The tinnitus is MUCH better. The head sensations ( pressure fullness quiet buzzing and vibration and slight dizziness) continue to feed my anxiety. ..

.....I finally got to the place where Hope is ...just keep moving forwward in the knowledge that I get through it every time...I have come through 7 months...I can do 5-7 more. I have to live my life...with or without p/we s/x, but like Green I would just like to enjoy some of it.

...I had a pt appointment today and had the dreaded head pressure.  and anxiety ..I went anyway...It makes me so so mad that this stinking drug can disrupt our lives like this. The physical therapist agree with thee idea that healing can take a year. She helped me with some neck massage for the head pressure.

...I remind myself constantly that I am not dying...I am healing ...evidenced by the fact that in window moments I have no irrational health fears and wild anxiety.. at all. My windows used to last for a day ...or even 2..  now they last for a few hours if I am lucky...BUT ...the positive.  I am 7 months and one week off....and still alive in spite of all my imagined dire health conditions..no heart attacks..no strokes no thyroid/adrenal failures or tumors...I should have died about 25 times had any of my fears been based in anything remotely resembling real evedence of health issues...

...My question today is.....have any of you developed entirely new s/x later in p/w. ? ...I did not have the head symptoms until exactly the beginning of month 6.....month 8 can not get here fast enough

....so many thanks to everyone on this thread for unfailing support...you are what is getting me through this month ( in many ways one of the worst in this whole mess). .

...Wishing every one of you healing.....coop

 

[[li...]]

I'm obsessing. I can't read others' posts right now because I'm consumed by my new worry. The worry is that a medication I was given for a migraine has caused permanent damage. I can weather the benzo damage because I know it improves with time. But this other idea is bringing me to the brink. I spoke with my doctor about it and she's never heard of a case with permanent side effects from the drug I was given. That wasn't comforting. So, she's having a pharmacologist look for more information about permanent damage. I know I feel better than I did while on klonopin. I know all my symptoms fit the profile of benzo withdrawal. I also know that things haven't been quite right since I was given that migraine medication. My fear is huge. Permanent is too much for me to bear. How do I do this? I need to stop thinking about this!!!!!

 

Peace2

 

Peace worrying about something to the point where you are obsessed and troubled as in your post is causing you a panic attack of worry about worry. It a cycle. I am sure that if you took an FDA approved drug that permeant damage would not occur so quick or else they would have found out about it in clinical trials. Drugs that cause damage are the ones that affect people after a time consumed at least months. Even people on benzos for a week are not brain damaged and quit quickly and they move on with their lives. What do you do in a panic attack. Breath, do tension exercises etc. Please go and get help if it continues. Please...

 

life

[[Co...]]

Peace, I am stuck in obssessive worry and anxiety as well. I understand all the defeating characteristics of looping worry, I just don't know how to get out of the loop...worse than the black hole loop of automated cable bill questions. The only thing that helps me is distraction and that helps momentarily. I think it is like the other 652 p/w s/x...time...it will magically disappear with time. I hope the pharmacist will have information that is reassuring. ....I finally stopped taking my b/p monitor to bed with me. ..Maybe our fears are stubborn because they began in real trauma...the medication for you which had true s/x for a time and my off the charts b/p was also caused by a medication adverse reaction...so for me it feels liker PTSD....I am trying to follow Hope 's lead...just live with it...until it goes away.....Peace I truly believe this is going to go away for both of us..here 's to getting to year one. . Coop

[[Co...]]

Life....your progress is giving all of us so much hope.  It is not discouraging at all, for me. It gives me concrete evidence that people heal from this trauma. .. I love your thought that we are real and permanent and the Benzo Beast is temporary and no more real than the Wizard of Oz hiding behind his illusions.....Life, you truly are emerging from the darkness of the cave into daylight...every single one of your posts renews my belief that this will end.. coop

[[pl...]]

Thanks  for being so positive. I miss that about BB. I haven been here in about 5 months. I'm on month nine and things have been pretty shaky recently, so I'm back.

 

I think I indeed lost site. I have to keep reminding myself that this is the real me and my family deserves to have that. Recently though, I am not certain that I like the real me. I am still horribly irritable and can't even spend time with my wife and kids without loosing it. Luckily I'm mature enough to not always let it show, but it still sucks. It's just so frustrating to have to deal with this for an indefinite amount of time, you know? I still sweat all the time and can't handle social situations either. I guess I just feel broken. I'm not too sure how to fix myself.

 

I know we have all come such a long way and I have a deep respect for everyone here and myself for doing it. I just can't help wondering if it was the right choice.

 

 

Hey, guys and gals.  Whew, my head is spinning.  I just read 10 pages of posts and I'm trying to absorb it.  Boy, withdrawal is brutal. 

 

I was thinking today that we lose sight of why we're going through this nightmare.  We're getting off this poison drug.  against all the odds, we're getting off.  Some, like me, like Life, have been on it for more than a decade.  And we're going to be amazing people when this is over.  Whenever we have a challenge in life, it's going to pale by comparison to benzo withdrawal.  If you can get through benzo withdrawal, you can get through anything. 

 

And we're all going to make it.  We're not going to lose anyone.  We're all going to be healthy and happy and write success stories.  Seriously, I don't ever want to forget about withdrawal.  I don't ever want to forget how much inner strength and commitment it took, and how we all help each other get to the other side.

 

I love this!! Thanks!

 

Hey Platt

 

Glad you came back for a bit.  This takes a long time.  And it is worth it.  I really think after a year you'll see some good changes. Most people say that.  I know for me it's not always withdrawal.  There are things in my life that I may need to change, how I deal with people, how I set limits.  Like you, I'm mature enough, or smart enough,to keep my mouth shut right now because my emotions are so unreliable from minute to minute.  Glad to have you back

 

 

Thanks. I'm just not sure of a lot of things. Especially the fact that I don't remember much about my life before benzos. All I know is that now, I remember why I started taking them. I feel like I used to, only worse. Don't get me wrong, life is obviously better in many ways. It's complicated though. I feel like the true me is this person who is nervous, anxious and especially irritable and it doesn't feel like it's going away anytime soon.

 

My life is demanding. I am in a creative industry and there is no room for errors or weakness. Same in my home life. I also stopped drinking and am on my third month of that. First time ever. It's nice that people say after a year, things change. How am I supposed to believe it though?

[[No...]]

Good Morning - Went out early yesterday morning to get my new desktop computer. Got it and while waiting for the cab to come became aware that nothing was going on - no symptoms ... nothing ... nothing ... nothing ... got home and sat down. Nothing going on ... completely, utterly clear. The volume wasn't turned down, it was turned off. Window? All I know is that I have not felt like this in over 20 years.

 

Went out on the patio and just sat there, breathing. Sat for three hours ... hearing through clear ears, seeing through clear eyes, feeling air on my skin, feeling warmth on my face. Feeling totally "flat" , nothing stirring, nothing vibrating, nothing churning. Joy? Smiling.

 

Then I started feeling the utter exhaustion in my body. Each cell feels tired. Feels like I went 20 rounds in the ring with a mad kangaroo. Went with the exhaustion, followed it around, felt it wherever it was. And then the tears ... and tears ... and tears. And a releasing ... an emptying ... 66 years of the trauma the child-man has been carrying.

 

And then the quiet ... breathing ... breathing ... breathing.

 

Sat for another long while ... resting ... breathing ... accepting ... no thinking ... no mind ... just being right here, right now.

 

30 years of work and practice have accompanied me to this moment. Utter joy and gratitude.

 

And sat for another while ... and gradually, slowly, a little here, a little there the symptoms returned. One by one, they came back. And that is okay. I can live with this. I have lived with this for so long and survived. There will be other moments. I have been given a gift. It is embedded in the cells of my memory. I am grateful for those few hours ... and they are not in the past, they didn't just happen yesterday. They are right here, right now ... they will accompany me during the remainder of this journey, they will be present for me for the remainder of my days.

 

Namaste.

[[No...]]

Folks - I have read the posts here over the last couple of days. I am holding all your stories in my heart. All I can say right now is that I now "know" we are healing ... we will recover. Hang on, move through today, and breathe.

 

For me, it is now time to chop more wood, and carry more water for the days ahead. We will each and everyone one us move through these days and recover.

 

Good Healing.

[[je...]]

Great news nova! I'm so very happy for you!

[[Fr...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

I've been away awhile because my hubby and I are up north at our Lake Michigan cottage (it's four hours away).  It is so beautiful up here; perhaps due to our harsh winter and all that snow watering the earth, the shades of greens are amazing!  And the lilacs are in bloom all over the countryside.

 

Thank you all for helping me through that last period of internal jitters; that wave has calmed into a period of "good" normalcy.

 

Great news - the past two nights, I've dreamed.  I haven't dreamed in almost 3 years (before October 2011) during tolerance wd and wd.  It's a wonderful feeling to wake up feeling refreshed.  I'm so grateful.  Who knows how long this window will remain, but it does feel like healing has taken place.

 

I still have some mild tinnitus, neck aching and fatigue but to a much lesser degree.  I'll report as time goes along.  This is the last week of month four for me.  I haven't felt this well in over three years.  My husband says I appear better than in ten years, energy-wise, attitude-wise, look-on-my-face-wise, etc., etc.

 

I hope you all are healing and feeling much better.

 

Coop - one technique that got rid of health fears for me, was from feeling so sick the past 2 1/2 years - I truly thought I was at the end and gave up - I decided that I wouldn't see doctors anymore to fix me because they couldn't.  After that my fear of death went away.  Pain and suffering was worse than death to me.  I gave in and it left.  Maybe that might work for you.  Who knows.

 

I have a problematic psychological issue I'm working on that has plagued me for years - I struggle horribly with perfectionism to where it makes me ill.  Going through wd has helped me get better with it, but I'm still working on it  every day and am determined to conquer it.  It's like the devil at work and I will beat it - it tries to make me unhappy and find fault with all that I do and accomplish.  I'm going to start volunteer work soon, and think that may help too.

 

Does any else deal with that?  Any tips for me?  I think it's the last piece in my healing and then I'll be emotionally well and peppy again.

 

Love to you all,

Lisa

[[Gr...]]

Sky is is so good to see that you are pushing yourself and succeeding. Nothing is better than to see that we can do so much more than we think we are capable of. The benzos is temporary setback who we are is permanent. The benzos can take allot out of us in the short run but not in the long run. We are healing! I am feeling like a whirlwind today and although I felt stressed I felt good that I pushed myself and did really good. I feel like Mrs. Sky and her success for today. I must admit that I thought I was overdoing it a bit at times but now I feel relaxed ( did I just say that, shit!). I sometimes wonder if posting all this possitve stuff is a turn off of sorts to others. I think it is so impoartant to know that people are healing -especially someone on benzos for 32 years that has no clue what the doses were. I was going to ask my doctor for my records. But you know it does not matter -- that is the past. I do not know if I am out of the woods yet ( my last big symptom is depression from time to time) but I sure pray and hope I am. I had a visual yesterday that was so real.. it was me exiting the dark cave and seeing sunlight. I know that many here were like me in December when I dropped my SSRI Viibryd and I was googling the words schizophrenia because I thought I was going crazy and it was the sudden c/t of an SSRI. Many here have had drug s/a I think and we tend to think they are permanent when we are going through them ( I know I thought " Is this the SSRI or me???). SSRI are horrible for me. I know we are all healing. I took a look at a picture of me in December and when I look back I was shocked at the progress yet while in December I thought I was damaged good. God bless you all and we are exiting this cave together -- All of us! 

 

Life

 

Life, I don't know how to make things bold.  But don't dare stop posting your positive stuff.  It's what keeps me going, believing.  Hope you're having a good day.  Lots of rain on the east coast this week.

[[Gr...]]

Here is what I just wrote on my progress log:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6/11 - OK, here's the deal.  I AM healing.  I am just having a tough wave, but here is what I know about waves:

                I have always come out of them before.

                They suck, but are temporary.

                They usually have lead to a better baseline.

                Other people get them too, and they also come out of them.

 

Yes, we are probably moving this summer.  Yes, we have probably lost our house.  Yes, this would be a HUGE source of stress for ANYONE. And, yes, I get to do this with a fragile CNS and in the midst of recovery.  But you know what?  I CAN do this!  Better times are waiting and it will be good to have a fresh start.

 

It is time to ride through this wave.  I am not going to fight it, make it worse, or let it scare me to immobility.  I am going to simply ride it out.  I am going to make and keep plans, like I did all school year, and if I feel anxious, then so what?  I feel anxious.

 

Here are the positives:

    We will be able to get a fresh start and get our finances back in order.

    We will not have to deal with this disaster of a house with all the things to fix anymore.

    This time of increased stress will be a learning opportunity for me.  I will learn, and trust, that I can deal with times of great stress without the "help" of a benzo.  I will be stronger.

    Our family is very close, and it is not the house that creates that, it is our relationships...and that will be there no matter where we live.  We are happy and healthy and together.

    God is so much bigger than this problem, and I will rely and trust in Him through it all!!!

    I have a long track record of pushing through waves and being productive despite how I feel.  There is no reason to believe this time will be any different. 

    We have been living with the uncertainty with the house for over a year, it is good to finally start to get an action plan.

 

I choose to believe in healing. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I have been hit hard with a wave and I was starting to feel like I am being swept under.  I don't know exactly how I am going to get through this, but I plan on eating healthy, walking, and keep moving forward.  GreenIce, you are so right.  There is no turning back, there is only through....and sometimes through is right in the middle of a storm.  We have to keep moving forward, despite the stressors of life....and some of them are HUGE. 

 

Thanks for listening.  This support group means a lot to me.

 

Wow this is so awesome.  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:Go Healing Go! WhenI am in a wave I just feel the walls of the cave and keep moving step by step forward -- one  step closer to the exit. What you said about waves is 100% correct. Remember when in a window how you feel so that you can tell your mind and KNOW that you will come out and that while in a wave you are not YOU! It's the benzos.

 

life

life

 

Healing, your affirmations to yourself helped me tremendously. 

 

I just want to tell you when I first jumped off, I had so many life changes.  I had just retired, my ex had an awful stroke with dementia.  He tried to shoot me.  (didn't know what he was doing)  He had to go to a nursing home.  I handle his financial and health matters.  I had to move into his house, which needs so much work, it's a money pit.  Then Medicaid put a lien on it.  My young adult sons are here with me.  The younger one drinks and uses soft drugs. He doesn't work.  Recently I was thinking my God, forget withdrawal, this is stressful to anyone.  We have to remember life happens, tough things happen, and people get through it.  And they get through it without medication.  When something stressful happens, I have to remind myself that NOTHING is worth getting myself so stressed I have to take a pill, or making myself sick with stress.  It does not change outcome.  It serves no purpose.  You're smart to focus on what you have, a loving family, faith, everybody is healthy.  This will be a new start, and it will be great.

[[Gr...]]

Hi guys.  Insomnia kicking my a*&^.  hope everyone is hanging in there.  c u later.

[[Co...]]

Nova....such a great post....I am thrilled for you.  My windows make me cry too..out of relief and gratitude. I am taking Zen lessons from you on ' going with it '...  whatever ' it. " might be..Your posts are greatly supportive..  and appreciated. I agree release of whatever the feeling is is so helpful. ...sending you thoughts of anothear day of healing....and tinkering with your new table top......coop

[[Co...]]

Nova....such a great post....I am thrilled for you.  My windows make me cry too..out of relief and gratitude. I am taking Zen lessons from you on ' going with it '...  whatever ' it. " might be..Your posts are greatly supportive..  and appreciated. I agree release of whatever the feeling is is so helpful. ...sending you thoughts of anothear day of healing....and tinkering with your new table top......coop

[[Co...]]

Free, ...you sound great....happy happy for you! . . I understand the perfectionism thing...it waxes and wanes for me. One thing that really helps me with it is doing open ended art projects with very young children...3-5 year olds. At that age just playing with the materials and watching...and honoring what emerges is the entire point. Its all about process ...not results...there is only so much a 4 year old can for with finger paint, scraps of this and that and masking tape. And pplaying with a child is do much fun...it really can take you away from the s/x momentarily. .....enjoy your days on the lake....coop

[[Co...]]

Free....I agree stopping the endless s/x chase helps change the focus. I have decided to refocus and chase health..  not s/x. I am taking a yoga class...I see the pt therapist without dropping my appointments ( even if my s/x are raging)..I have some lymphodema from my breast surgery..easily reduced with self card and following up on my pt appointments I missed most of them in the last 18 months because I caved into my anxiety and became bedridden.  I am keeping my appointments with the sports medicine doctor to learn how to increase and maintain the good mobility that RA has not attacked.

....I am commuting to this not to prevent anxiety but to become a healthier person with or without anxiety....these are therapies that put me in charge of my health.. not fear of all the 100s of things that in my imagination could go wrong

 

[[je...]]

I honestly think hypochondria may very well be a w/d sx as so many BB believe there is something wrong with them. I have seen countless members go to multiple doctors to have multiple tests all to find out nothing is wrong with them--its all w/d. I have the opposite problem, I am so fearful of doctors that I would have to be dying to go see one and even then Im pretty sure I wouldn't go. I feel like hey if Im dying its my time to go, Id rather die at home than at a hospital. Just my 2 cents......

[[Gr...]]

Well....I am not sure what to think. I think I should stop thinking and just be. My jitters and wild health fears dog me without mercy. Having said that, they magically turn off like a switch for periods of the day...anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. ..The tinnitus is MUCH better. The head sensations ( pressure fullness quiet buzzing and vibration and slight dizziness) continue to feed my anxiety. ..

.....I finally got to the place where Hope is ...just keep moving forwward in the knowledge that I get through it every time...I have come through 7 months...I can do 5-7 more. I have to live my life...with or without p/we s/x, but like Green I would just like to enjoy some of it.

...I had a pt appointment today and had the dreaded head pressure.  and anxiety ..I went anyway...It makes me so so mad that this stinking drug can disrupt our lives like this. The physical therapist agree with thee idea that healing can take a year. She helped me with some neck massage for the head pressure.

...I remind myself constantly that I am not dying...I am healing ...evidenced by the fact that in window moments I have no irrational health fears and wild anxiety.. at all. My windows used to last for a day ...or even 2..  now they last for a few hours if I am lucky...BUT ...the positive.  I am 7 months and one week off....and still alive in spite of all my imagined dire health conditions..no heart attacks..no strokes no thyroid/adrenal failures or tumors...I should have died about 25 times had any of my fears been based in anything remotely resembling real evedence of health issues...

...My question today is.....have any of you developed entirely new s/x later in p/w. ? ...I did not have the head symptoms until exactly the beginning of month 6.....month 8 can not get here fast enough

....so many thanks to everyone on this thread for unfailing support...you are what is getting me through this month ( in many ways one of the worst in this whole mess). .

...Wishing every one of you healing.....coop

 

Yes, Coop, new s/x.  Insomnia unlike anything I've had before, and lasting longer than in the past. And inner vibrations, and a very "chemical feeling," which I guess is cortisol.  I don't feel particularly anxious, so I guess it's just the cortisol.  I read somewhere cortisol is the body's response to stress.  I'm not feeling more stress than ordinary.  Go figger.  I read somewhere on here to try Vit. C.  I did.  No change.

We've gotten through everything else thus far, and we'll get through this, too.  Feel better

[[Gr...]]

I honestly think hypochondria may very well be a w/d sx as so many BB believe there is something wrong with them. I have seen countless members go to multiple doctors to have multiple tests all to find out nothing is wrong with them--its all w/d. I have the opposite problem, I am so fearful of doctors that I would have to be dying to go see one and even then Im pretty sure I wouldn't go. I feel like hey if Im dying its my time to go, Id rather die at home than at a hospital. Just my 2 cents......

 

I'm with you Jen.  I did the doctor chase thing in tolerance.  Never again.  And I truly believe if you don't have something life threatening, you're better of without doctor visits.  They just give you a big bunch of prescriptions that cause so many other problems.  I had to go to a GI doctor today.  I need Nexium because Ive had really bad gastritis in withdrawal.  I'll get off it later.  It was so weird.  I avoided making eye contact with him.  Like if he looked at me he could see that I didn't trust or like doctors.  But if we get really sick, we do need them. 

[[Co...]]

Hi Green....thanks for the reply.. .it is always so reassuring to hear that another buddie is experiencing similar progress. I also had a bad bout of insomnia in month 5...and actual insomnia had not been a big problem for me in taper and the first few months of p/w. Yes," .chemical " that explains it exactly.  makes me so nuts..mine is starting to come and go throughout the day. I had 2 hours of a window this morning and now it is fading, but the head pressure is much better so I will take it. Green, I have absolutely no tricks for insomnia.. nothing really helped mine. I just went back to mindless all night TV ( I couldn't concentrate on books)...It finally went away.. I hope it is z short bout for you. Green....you have so much on your plate. I am so put to shame by your determination and grit....I whine and complain and cry every day.. .and you are out there making a real di

 

fference in your ex- hubby ' s life.  Can't tell you how much I admire that.. I hope your boys are. helping you out....Thinking of you today Green.. coop .

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