6-12 month thread....

[[Fr...]]

Hi Healing,

 

I'm sorry you're going through all that.  That's a shame.  My heart goes out to you and your family.

 

Let's keep praying this internal anxiety stops real soon.  I can relate to being on BB when times are tough.  It helps relieve the distress.

 

Lisa

[[Co...]]

Free.....that is a lot to go though...under the circumstances I think you are handling it well. I moved from my house to an apartment 4 years ago.  It was an adjustment at first, but now I really love apartment life. No yard work except my container vegetables and herbs on my roomy patio ...when the washer leaks I call the maintenance and someone comes and fixes it right away. ...etc etc ...I did a lot of weeding out of belongings , paper work and such which turned out to Bea very liberating. ..My expenses went way down and I feel like I am getting a lot more quality for my money....I loved the move in ready condition of my apartment....no fixing up of a anything and the management had two accent walls painted fog me...

.....I am glad you are feeling a little better today Free....I would take it as a sign of healing....I hope your days continue to get better.....coop

[[Co...]]

Sky....you are writing very well and making a ton of sense for having a gimpy eye!..It is great that your art work is helping you through this...Anything we can do gets us that much closer to healing. ...I love the childhood Teddy ...any kind of support and self soothing is so valuable. ....

.......wishing you healing healing healing........coop

[[pe...]]

Today was my last day of school. I won't be returning in the fall as I'm moving to a new school. I feel like a big mess of grossness and very self-absorbed. I am not at my finest. I can't focus enough to read your posts. I will hold each of your names while I breathe mindfully on my way to the park. This gets better. It has to.

 

Peace2

[[Co...]]

Ok healing abbey monks and cave adventurers.......need some thoughts here

....Things are worse for me today. The jitters are gone.....and that's a very good thing. BUT I woke up this morning nauseous and dizzy....sick ...hoping it is benzo flu. This afternoon tinnitus set in ..so its either Meniers. or w/d....my question is...( please pardon me if I have already asked this...I can't remember). ...so my question.....Tinnitus at this level is also a new s/x. When others have tinnitus is it accompanied with a feeling of fullness ..kind of like swelling in the ear and temple? I even feel it on that side of my face in my cheek and mandible ....also weak fatigued discouraged and worried....is any of this familiar to anyone? ....absolutely no appetite. If. I had to go to th e doctor today I would not be able to get out of bed to go. Even with the extreme jitters I have been out of bed all day..  until yesterday afternoon. 

.....very sorry for the depres sing post....this just has to turn around ....I even wonder if the tinnitus is from the Calns Forte I am using for anxiety....not likely as it is a homeopathic

........thanks for listening to all this....coop

[[No...]]

Coop - I have had tinnitus off and on forever it seems like. Mine comes and goes. And I only seem to have it on the left side. At its loudest it will be a pulsing ringing. I cannot say which comes first ... the head bands, temple pressure and twitching, full plugged ears, heavy plugged sinus. And oftentimes when relaxing I will hear my heartbeat in my right ear. Pretty crazy making. I do not know about Meniers, I look at the literature a while ago and talked to some folks at a Seniors Expo about it. It seemed to fit and the impression I got from this was there was not much to do about it so I stopped thinking in that direction.

 

Also, I often feel as if the right side of my face is literally slipping off. Really. I have never found any bits on the floor so I guess that is benzo-stuff.

 

Also, I tried some homeopathic remedies in the past. I had a negative reaction to some of them. Others were okay. Valerian and St Johns Wort were two I could not tolerate.

 

Hang on Coop. This will pass just like all the rest of these experiences. I am still on this 3 to 4 hour roller-coaster. Up-down, up-down. Cannot make any connections with causes. It is just what is going on right now.

 

Take Care.

[[Co...]]

Thank you so much Nova...voice of reason, you describe exactly what I experience, causing me immediate reduction of anxiety. If neither of us has had a stroke ( lol) , that is pretty good indication. to me that this is w/d.....acute # 210......Your reply is immensley helpful. I just started getting the pulsing full pressure with buzzing in my head in the last 10 days....also on the left side. For me, the first sensation of it screams at me that my b/p is rising....I take it ...and of course it is rising . So working on accepting the s/x without anxiety....your response is so helpful with that. I am finding a hot pack ( one of those half circle neck pillows you can put in the micro) is so far the only thing that helps or distracts from the buzzing. ...It really doesn't matter if it is Meniers. or w/d...s/x are pretty much the same ...and same remedy...time.  I can't take Kava. Java or St. Johns either...I take 400 mg of magnesium split..morning/night....400 iu D3 and 250 B stress formula...have no idea if any of them help....I am down to simply knowing the only thing that helps is time. ..

....Nova your up /down all around 3-4 hour s/x's should be cycling back out for awhile. I really hope they give you a break tomorrow. ..I think you are right in what you expressed in one of your posts about fighting s/x and water being able to wear away rock...hence acceptance. and 'going with it ' as much as

  Nova...thank you so much for the response...your advice is so reliable ...very glad you are on this thread....coop

 

[[be...]]

Hi all,

I ventured out of the house today in search of a new bed pillow for my stiff neck.

I found one and I hope it helps.

Anxiety has been lower last couple of days.

Took a nap and I think that's a sign of healing .

I laid down to ease my nausea and fell asleep, hubby said he heard me snore.

I read all of your posts here and still see a lot of suffering, and also healing.

I am thinking of all of you and keep you in my prayers.

Don't believe the benzodiazepine lies.

We are healing!!!!

 

 

[[Fr...]]

Hi Beulah,

 

Congrats on getting out of the house and having less anxiety.  Napping and sleeping and snoring deeply are all very good signs.

 

hugs to you too,

Lisa

[[He...]]

Thanks Free and Coop!  It really is a terrible thing to go through, but I am choosing to believe that this will actually be a great turning point in our lives.  Now to just get through all the stress of it without having a major setback!

 

Today has gotten better and better, it sounds like for several of us.  Beulah, I'd say that taking a nap is a great sign! 

 

One more day of healing under our belts! 

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ... here I am again up after 4 hours sleep in the very early hours of my day. I don't know if there are any other members in this group that live further "east" than I do. So, I have assigned myself the task of sweeping the eastern gate to our sanctuary each morning. Prepare the place for another sunrise. Chop wood, carry water.

 

This is a lot of what I do for distraction. Some "wisdom traditions" have called this "active imagination". BTW doesn't help with the fury of side-effects, but does "keep me out of the kitchen".

 

Imagining being in a safe place. Where all around me outside the "weather" is storming. And I am safe, and warm, and dry. Out of the wind. Sometimes alone, sometimes with others.

 

Coop - you are welcome. We go up and down, round and round, on and off with the parade of symptoms. I too find it consoling to know others have been there, are there right now.

 

Beulah - the quest for a new pillow took you out, you found one, and it gave some comfort right away. May your new pillow provide many more periods of rest during your healing. Yes, lots of suffering and yes, lots of healing.

 

FreeofV - thank you for being here with us. Another voice in our healing chorus.

 

Well, two hours or so until sunrise. The gateway is swept. The wood is stacked for the morning fires. The water barrels are full.

 

Another day is done. This new day awaits.

 

Take Care.

[[Mo...]]

Anyone having major hypoglycemia symptoms?  I am in a wave which is rare for me, so I'm having trouble mentally with this. 

 

I just woke up 40min ago in nausea and some sweating with a bit of panic.  This wave is day 8.  I went to have my blood checked but results rnt in yet.  Throughout my days as I go too long without food I feel the sweat come on and my heart pounds.  I feel panic.

 

The problem is all our symptoms 'mimick' ailments.  Has anyone else experienced hypoglycemic sensation for any extended period of time? 

[[Fr...]]

Nova -

 

Are you of the clergy? Or do you live next to a church?

 

I'm better this AM.  The internal jitters left for awhile last night and allowed me to sleep deeply - I actually had dreams last night which I haven't had in years - not a particular dream, but dreams in general.  I am praying this sense of calm remains.

 

Love and prayers of healing to you all.  We are headed up north today (four hour drive), so our painter can get some work done in our home.  I'm bringing a computer.

 

Lisa 

[[No...]]

MommyR - Sorry, I understand nothing about hypoglycemia. Perhaps others will offer more insight. I do experience the sweats and loud heart beats ... a sign I usually finds indicates anxeity or the onset of a panic event.

 

I do try to eat regualrly. I know if I find muself neglecting this there can be consequences.

 

You have had your blood tested, that should help with giving you more information. Symptoms mimicking ailments is quite crazy-making. I find by going slowly it helps me to understand what may be going on in the moment.

 

Take Care.

[[No...]]

FreeofV - "Are you of the clergy? Or do you live next to a church?" No and no. I spend much time with "visualization" ... and "imagination" ... Sorry if you were misled buy my ramblings.

 

Have a wonderful drive ... it is nice to have some dreams once in a while ... enjoy "up north".

 

Good Healing.

[[Mo...]]

I need mercy today.  Please someone tell me this is going away soon and I will be normal again.  Tell me how you had wave that you thought would never leave and then the window opened up.  I need mercy today.

 

 

[[je...]]

Anyone having major hypoglycemia symptoms?  I am in a wave which is rare for me, so I'm having trouble mentally with this. 

 

I just woke up 40min ago in nausea and some sweating with a bit of panic.  This wave is day 8.  I went to have my blood checked but results rnt in yet.  Throughout my days as I go too long without food I feel the sweat come on and my heart pounds.  I feel panic.

 

The problem is all our symptoms 'mimick' ailments.  Has anyone else experienced hypoglycemic sensation for any extended period of time?

 

 

Yes, I have it too. The only way to control it is to treat it by eating every 2 hours small protein meals. Eat as soon as you wake up and before bed. No carbs. Stay away from fruit for a while until you feel more stable. I had this really bad for a few months, but iam much better now. I still have to eat every few hours. Take care, jenny

[[Mo...]]

Thank you Jenny... Thank you so much

[[He...]]

I need mercy today.  Please someone tell me this is going away soon and I will be normal again.  Tell me how you had wave that you thought would never leave and then the window opened up.  I need mercy today.

 

MommyR,

I ALWAYS feel like a wave will never leave, or that I am getting worse, anytime I am in a wave.  I think that is probably the worst part of this healing process for me...that element of fear.  However, it DOES leave and you WILL get another window, and eventually that window will be permanent.  ALL of month 6 and the beginning of month 7 was very tough for me with lots of anxiety, insomnia, and weird symptoms.  I think I remember seeing that is about where you are.

 

I am in the tail end of a wave (hoping) right now and for the past several mornings I have woke up in a sweat with panic.  This morning I didn't, and even slept in until 5:30. Yay! I do have a bit of chest pressure/anxiety hanging around so I can't say I'm out of this wave yet.  Hoping and praying that these waves we are all in leave us soon!! 

[[Mo...]]

Thank you HealingHope.  I just want to cower under the covers right now.  Thank you for describing what the end of a wave can look like.  I forget that sleep returns.  My chest has that pain in it too.  Friday and Saturday I went to a mom convention about ways to run the house and chores and get time in for us.  My wave started to climb on Sat...ha.  That's actually kinds funny.  No escaping household stresses!

 

I learned so much fun stuff and really hate to think everything will get behind again because I need to couch it.  You know how you get tunnel vision in a wave everything seems bigger then it is.  I have to atleast do the dishes and throw in some laundry.  My husband and I worked really hard the past few weeks cleaning out our garage to put his office out there and then our boys can have their owns rooms.  Everything was cluttered and then cleaned and ugh.. I don't want the house taking over again.  I can only do what I can, right?

 

I will think about sleep coming back tonite or tomorrow and eat protein every few hours. 

 

PS.... NovaScotia.  Thank you for your comment earlier.  Riding this out.

[[be...]]

Hi all,

Waves can be very difficult to get thru especially if they are long lasting.

The only thing I can do in a wave is keep everything as low key as possible and ride it out, I keep repeating to myself that it does end. A warm Epsom salt bath and some light background music to relax and distract help me.

I' m having a little more nerve pain today and the muscles are so tight and painful.

We have had three days of rain here in Ohio and I don't think my withdrawal likes rain.

I was going to try and do a little cooking for hubby this weekend for father's day, I hope my legs hold up. He has cooked all of my meals for almost a year and while he's not a great cook he has done so much for me and I appreciate everything he has done.

 

I hope all of you have a restful and peaceful day.  BIG HUGS!!

 

 

[[Mo...]]

Thank you Beulah for reminding me relaxing is ok too.  I tend to bulldoze my way thru smaller waves, so when it cranks up I"m not expecting it. 

 

Just got a call from my Dr.  My blood sugar level is NORMAL!!!!!!  Oh, thank you Jesus!!!  This had me freaking out!  These waves are like little smart trojan programs waiting to explode.  Good grief.  They focus in on any hidden fear or turn normal circumstances into huge issues.  Honestly, the way I feel right I will NEVER take my health for granted again.  Now for the nausea to go away.

 

These waves morph every time.  So, I went back and looked at my 'waves'.  I track them.  I guess what I thought I was spiking are actually still have waves.  Mind you they haven't cranked up like this since March.  June's wave is a solid 5 out of 10.  Even those small 2's and 4's drive you batty.  I hit 7 months on the 5th. 

 

My last waves:

May 13-23, (10 days long, ranked a 4 out of 10 on the "I'm gonna die" richter scale.)

April 6-12 with a spike on April 24 & 29.  (7 days long with a 2 out 10 ranking)

March 3-15 with a spike on the 30&31 (12 days long and cranked up to a 7 out of 10 ranking)

February 9-22 with spike on 24&25 (14 days cranked up to a 7 out of 10 rank)

January 2-8 with spiking on 14,19 & 20 (6 days with a good 10 out of 10 spike ranking)  I recall begging to go to emergency on the 6th.

December/November (12 day episode with a 10 out 10 begging to go to emergency, I'm gonna die on this one ranking)

 

My last pill was on Nov 21st and the taper was like getting hit by the bus on a weekly schedule. 

 

[[Co...]]

Hi Peace, Jenny, Nova, Buelah, Hope, Life, Greenice et. al...

.....My wave completely lifted last night after an entire day of benzo flu and anxiety. Like a switch

it cut off...today it came back, but a little less intense and the jitters have finally let up. They have been replaced by moderate d/r d/p and cog fog...anything is better than the intense jittery s/x. I am still taking 6 mg of atenolol daily to keep my b/p below the 150/ 80 and I think it can also create the d/r feeling....the head pressure is 80% better...thank you so much God..that one was torturing me. My wave had been hanging on since May 27 ...now I feel it lessening. ...

.....I ran across SN interesting link on the Alternative Medicine board ... concerning herbal remedies targeting anxiety, insomnia, tension and nervousness. Herbal remedies that are formulated in ' therapeutic. concentrations may interact with GABAs. ..( to follow the conversation go to " Too much Chamomille? ".....there is s link posted by Badsocref in that link. Towards the end of the referenced article appears a clear statement regarding Chamomilla.  Chamomilla contains a flavonoid called apigenen which " binds to benzodiazspine receptors "..this statement is contained under the "sleep and sedation " heading. I have been taking Calms Forte daily since my antibiotic reaction. It was very effective for my anxiety...but that is exactly when my jitters showed up...about 4 days after starting the Calms Forte...I would take the Calms...get some relief...and the jitters would return after 6-10; hours...I would take the Calms and have relief again ( sound familiar? ....like interdose?). .....So I quit the Calms about 36-40 hours ago...jitters

: and head pressure much less..likely coincidendal, but I wont be taking the Calms again.....and I was taking it regularly every day....Standardized concentrations of therapeutic.herbal remedies are not the same as herbal teas ...unless they are standardized concentration teas.

...so it is an interesting thread. For instance Calms Forts is concentrated 3x for both chamomilla and passionflowers...both impact benzodiazapine receptors...so being careful about therapeutic. standardized herbal remedies and teas is worth the time it takes. Just to be cautious I wont be taking any more Calms Forte. ....or herbal standarxizead therapeutic remedies. ...just an fyi

.....signing off for now.  back later....hope everyone is having a better day....coop     

 

.

[[li...]]

Hi Coop and everyone! I hope that we all get well again soon. I have not hit any real waves and I have noticed that my anxiety and obsessive thinking has diminished considerably. In the past weeks I have written about the lack of productive work that I was NOT doing and how that made me feel horrible that I felt useless. Well I am hear to report that things are truly better this past week in that front. I am generally in what I consider a big window but I still have to deal with a present here and there light depression -- anything but howling  anxiety and whirling thought!!! . This journey is a horrible journey for all of us. I am so glad that I have had the pleasure of being on this thread and that I see improvement coming for all of us. I am ahead in some instances with time and I think that the 6 to 12 month timeframe is the times of massive healing. My addiction specialist said 8 months is a turning point for many. All I can sugget when in a wave is to remeber how you felt and thought of in a window. All I can suggest while in a window is to also lock in what you are thinking and how you feel so that when you are in a wave you know that it is the benzos and not permanent . Remember how you feel in the windows!

 

I am here looking at all these posts and I am sorry for all the suffering but we will be better people for all this mess. I now we are all healing. I still read all the symptoms others are having on the w/d threads and I am shocked at how similar all the symtpoms are in benzos. That is how I know that its the benzos. I had symptoms that many report on in months 4,5,6,7 and I no longer do. Great healing to all! 

 

life

[[li...]]

Coop that is awesome that you feel better. Thanks for the Calms Forte as I will trash mine. I just mediated and came off a bit of a stressful situation. Meditation helps ALLOT. I hope and pray that you continue to improve. I was wondering if what I have is cog fog rather than a small depression? What does cog fog feel like?

 

life